Bright Side Of The Dark Side
by superxprettyxkitty
Summary: About Severus' time during Hogwarts, he suffers horrific bullying by everyone around him, he is pushed so far over the edge his life spirals out of control and he hits rock bottom. What about when he falls in love with Remus Lupin? can Remus save him?
1. Introduction

Severusx Remus

I will put a fair warning, M for a reason.

Severus' sad life in Hogwarts as a student.

I hope you enjoy it

Reviews? They inspire me

-L x

It was mid-September and the Hogwarts castle was filled with students once again returning from their fantastic summer holidays of doing who knows what laughing and chattering excitedly amongst themselves. By the third week everyone was just beginning to settle in or settle back in after their summer holidays even the first years were calming down after the first two weeks of Pandemonium of finding their way around, pestering the older students about where classrooms were, getting in the way of everything, remembering the password to their common rooms and avoiding any forbidden areas. Everyone seemed to be enjoying catching up with friends, trying out their new lessons and generally enjoying being back in the castle after their summers off. All except one….

"Alright, Snivellus?" James Potter's voice called to the lonely raven haired teenager who sat alone reading under one of the tall shaded trees by the lake. The light breeze caught the blades of grass around him brushing over them as they swayed in the air, the late summer sun caressing the castle grounds, it wouldn't stay this way for much longer so Severus planned to make the most of it while he still could.

The dark haired boy looked up as the four Marauders approached him, James with his dark tussled hair and his soft hazel eyes, admired by all the girls (and some of the boys too), his arrogance and his confidence shining out of every inch of his skin, oh how Severus hated him.

"What do you want, Potter?" the greasy haired boy snapped his book shut shoving it into his bag he jumped to his feet.

"How did the summer go, Snivelly?" James grinned maliciously stopping just a few feet away from him. Sirius Black at his side flashing those dazzling white teeth, his hands on his hips, the smaller plump boy, Peter, stood at James' left hand side looking eager and excited but of course the last one that Remus Lupin stood just behind him his nose wrinkled slightly with disapproval. It was always the same with Lupin, he pulled faces and tutted his disapproval but never said or did anything, he just let them get on with it in Severus' eyes he was just as bad as his friends.

"Why do you care?" Severus replied gruffly straightening himself up, he was slightly above average in height for his age perhaps even ever so slightly taller than James however he lacked the muscle from playing Quidditch and frolicking around the grounds with his little minions that James had, Severus was a skinny boy with ropey muscles making him far less intimidating.

"Look at the state of him, I don't think he's washed his greasy hair all summer" Sirius laughed and James nodded his head with agreement.

"Look at those robes too, what's the matter Snivellus, didn't your mother buy you new ones those trousers must be halfway up your shins by now" James smirked nastily and Severus felt his cheeks grow slightly hot.

He knew better than to let them get to him about things, especially about his family, they were quite poor and couldn't afford new school things for Severus every year so he just had to make do, some days during the summer he spent wearing his school trousers or a shirt because he simply had nothing else to wear. It wasn't his fault.

"If you haven't got anything intelligent to say, don't bother saying anything at all" Severus replied flatly.

James threw his head back and laughed.

"I think he's trying to call you dumb, mate" Peter grinned looking with anticipation from James to Severus.

"No I think I just touched a nerve with him, I'll bet he doesn't even have a bathtub in his house, that or he just prefers to use the toilet" James replied with a smirk.

"Oh piss off" Severus rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with my hair"

"There's nothing right with it either, so come on Snivellus, enlighten us, what did you do during your summer holidays?" Sirius asked raising his eyebrows in a challenging manner.

"None of your business, Black" Severus glared.

"Alright keep your ankle bashers on, I had a pretty good summer thanks for asking" Sirius mused and Severus sighed with boredom.

"Oh really?" Severus replied sarcastically debating whether or not he should pull out his wand and put a nasty hex on Sirius.

"Yeah, got a nice little piece after me, her names Marietta spent some time with her over the summer" Sirius smirked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, the other three boys made crude sounds of approval. "But of course you wouldn't know anything about that would you, Snape, nobody would touch you with a stick even if you paid them" Sirius said nastily.

"Unlike some people I am not an animal I can control myself, now if you haven't got anything important to say-" Severus grabbed his bag and made to leave hoping they would just back off and leave him alone for once they had already done enough damage already this year.

"Whoa, what's the rush?" James smirked, the three boys following after him as he headed down along the lakeside after Severus.

Snape was now starting to feel very worried and stopped his hand lingering around his cloak pocket where his wand was resting.

"Yeah Snivelly, where do you think you're going we aren't finished with you yet" Sirius grinned as they advanced on him.

Snape's hand shot into his pocket ripping out his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" James called and the wand flew high into the air and landed in the grass behind him.

Snape backed away slowly hoping to reach his wand again before they could hurt him.

"Don't think so" Sirius laughed pointing his own wand at Snape, a flash of white light shot from the tip of his wand and Snape was knocked to the floor clutching his side in pain.

"Nice one, Padfoot" James grinned hi-fiving his friend as Severus struggled to get to his feet.

"Impedimenta" Sirius said again and Snape fell onto his face banging his long nose on the ground he yelped in pain.

Shit.

"I always knew that big nose would be good for something one day, breaking falls didn't I tell you Prongs?" Sirius said triumphantly tossing his long black locks out of his eyes.

"You sure did, Pads" James grinned as Severus struggled against the invisible bonds that held him shooting looks of loathing at the four boys.

"I'll have you for this, Black" Snape spat still struggling against his invisible bonds, face down in the grass.

"Somehow, Snivellus I think we've won again" Sirius laughed. "Go on, run home to mummy have her kiss your big greasy nose and stitch an extra foot onto those trousers of yours and tell her how mean Sirius put her son in his rightful place"

"Piss off you bastard" Snape spat.

Sirius moved in closer kneeling down in front of Severus he tilted his face up by his chin and grinned maliciously at him.

"No Snape, I think I'll leave you here face down in the mud where you belong like the scum you are" Sirius sniffed hard before leaning closer he spat in Severus' face. "Have a nice day" he said getting up and beckoning for his friends to follow after him back across the grounds laughing a cheering amongst themselves. Severus caught sight of them walking away Peter was practically skipping along beside them, Sirius and James had their arms around each other laughing maniacally and Remus was shaking his head a look of disgust on his face.

Snape lay there face down in grass, a few mud stains on the front of his robes and his face covered in Sirius' saliva until the spell wore off.

Slowly he got to his feet wiping his face on his sleeves grimacing and almost gagging, how could anyone be that disgusting. He sniffed hard fighting back the tears that were prickling in the backs of his onyx eyes he wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him crying. Picking up his things and finding his wand he hurried back inside heading straight for his dormitory.

Once inside he slammed the door shut, throwing his bag onto the floor he threw himself onto his bed pulling the curtains closed around him burying his face in his pillow as he began to sob loudly, tears falling freely from his eyes.

A few days passed and Severus still wasn't feeling much better than he had done the other day, the memory still fresh in his mind. They had pulled one over on him again they had humiliated him and made him into a fool in public for the fifth time since returning to school about three weeks ago and that's not even counting the amount of times they shouted abuse or threw things at him.

One thing was for sure, Severus was not going to sit out in the grounds where he was that exposed anymore, he'd definitely have to find somewhere more private to sit and read.

Walking into Potions he dropped down at his usual table on the far side of the classroom alone which suited him just fine at least he would have plenty of space and no disruptions while he worked, potions was his best subject and he wasn't about to let his marks slip just because of Potter and Black.

"Good morning everyone, we're going to be working on our antidotes to uncommon poisons this lesson so if you'll take out your text books, turn to page one hundred and three I'd like you to begin with reading them through" Professor Slughorn spoke as the class fell silent. "We're going to be writing an essay on this particular potion seeing as it is the first in the year, and it is likely to be on your exams at the end of the year so before we start the actual brewing I'd like a draft introduction written for your essay"

Severus flipped his text book open, his dark eyes falling onto the page as he sat comfortably and started to read, this is what he needed to feel better, to get absorbed in his work and take his mind off of everything.

It had been only yesterday when James had tripped him outside the Transfiguration classroom and he had fallen into a rather large burly seventh year Slytherin boy whom in turn grabbed him by the front of his robes and slammed him into the wall. Professor McGonagall had removed five points from James, one of the only teachers who would actually take points from her own house especially from golden boy Potter.

He had spent the past couple of days skulking around the dungeons and hurrying off up to lessons or making himself late on purpose so he wouldn't run into said Gryffindor bunch who teased him, hexed him, called him vicious names and had recently taken to physically attacking him. Severus would do everything possible to avoid speaking with them and especially coming into close range with them at least until he found a way to pay them back for what they had done, maybe he could hide somewhere and wait for them to come out and hex that Potter boy into oblivion.

Severus was used to rough treatment even from his father when he was younger. Ever since the first time he had met James and Sirius on the train for the very first time, Severus had instantly disliked them. Even during the first week when they were still finding all of their classes, James and Sirius would childishly call Severus ugly, lanky and push into him or push each other into him so he stumbled or fell to the ground but nothing too serious. Within a few months it had grown into shouting at him from a distance, throwing ink over his school work and trying to convince people not to be his friend which at aged eleven and going to school for the first time was not a very nice thing to happen in the first place. Severus had always been classed as a strange boy with his unusually naturally jet black hair, his dark eyes and his pale skin tone, he had taken after his mother in that department only unfortunately had acquired his father's large hooked nose making him look very awkward and very peculiar only adding more fuel to the bullying fire which steadily grew over the next three years.

The first time they had hexed Snape was when they hit him in the face with a weak but still sore stinging hex, called him names like 'ugly, greasy, big nose' and made him cry thus earning him the nickname 'Snivellus' which had stuck with him even to this point. Severus had hoped they would grow out of it at some point but unfortunately they hadn't and the bullying had only gotten worse.

Before the summer they had gone as far as to grab Severus by the hair and smack his head off the wall, use Diffindo on his robes which thankfully he managed to mostly avoid and it only slashed open his cloak. The name calling was getting worse, more frequent and the names themselves were only becoming all the more vicious and obscene, they had taken up mocking Severus' family and his financial situation even though their friend Lupin was quite poor but he didn't seem bothered by it he just stood back and let them hex him, beat him, call him filthy names, humiliate him and now even spit in his face just to show him how low he was, just to put him down into a dark hole way below the rest of the student body, below the vermin that infested the forest, the scum that thrived at the bottom of the lake. Severus Snape was _far_ lower than that.

Pulling out his inkwell, Severus dipped his quill in and began writing furiously against the page, this always took his mind off it he had done his research over the summer and read up on antidotes to a very thorough extent, fortunately for him his mother was very good at potions too and was able to help him out in that area, so he was already ahead of the rest of the class able to understand things and add more into his essay things they wouldn't know about yet, thus scoring him more marks. Yes, this felt good.

Severus had written almost half a page in his notebook when a roughly folded paper bird fluttered down and landed on the table in front of him. He stopped writing to stare at it.

Glancing to his left he saw the four boys sitting looking smugly to one another before he swallowed and unfolded the bird.

_Careful Snivellus if your nose gets any closer to that book you'll smear your writing with great greasy streaks, sit back a bit your nose is practically touching the table' _

Severus sighed, that was clearly Sirius' doing. He crumpled it up and threw it back onto the other end of the table wrinkling his nose with annoyance.

The lesson got under way and Severus was absorbed in the brewing part of the lesson, he had annotated some of his text book already with things he thought would improve his work and things that he had read about that weren't included in their syllabus tips and hints from some of the guides his mother owned he liked to include which did help him a lot.

"How are you getting on, Severus?" Professor Slughorn asked looking at the pale faced tired looking fourteen year old.

"I'm doing okay, I'm just about to add the fire seeds" Severus replied carefully stirring his potion.

"Yes make sure you give it an extra two turns anti-clockwise at the end to finish it off with" Slughorn replied his eyes scanning over Severus' notebook skim reading the introduction to his essay draft.

Severus said nothing and Slughorn stared at him for a few moments. He wasn't looking very well he didn't seem too bad in the first week of term like he had a rest over the summer but now he was looking paler than before he even looked unwell. Severus was usually a pale thin boy but Slughorn had noticed a change in his appearance, a change in his overall behaviour which seemed to be going rapidly downhill. He didn't appear to be speaking any differently to he usually would in class but something didn't seem quite right with him, he would definitely have to keep an eye on him.

"Very well, everything appears to be alright, whilst you're waiting for that you may get a head start on the second part of your essay" Slughorn said and Severus nodded sitting back down and pulling his notebook towards him.

Slughorn stared hard at him before he walked off to see what the other students were doing.

That evening Severus was heading down to dinner alone, a group of Ravenclaw girls ran past him giggling amongst each staring at him. He sighed and dropped his head allowing his long black hair to fall in a curtain around his face shielding him from everyone's view.

'Perhaps nobody would notice if I just disappeared into thin air, I know they definitely wouldn't care if I was missing' Severus thought to himself sighing heavily as he stalked into the great hall alone. Sitting down close to the door at the Slytherin table he began to nibble lightly at a salad, he wasn't much of a big eater anyway and he wasn't particularly hungry, just enough to keep his strength up so he wouldn't go hungry.

Meal times were always something Severus hated, there had been many a time he had been tripped in the Great Hall and fallen on his face, people had thrown bits of food at him or tipped their drinks over his head as they passed, mostly his own house were alright with him he had in fact been getting on better with his dorm mates recently they were talking to him more which was definitely a plus. Apart from that he was totally alone, nobody spoke to him excluding the teachers and a few house mates, but nobody else would speak to him unless they had to or unless they were going to do something horrible to him. This thought alone was enough to make Severus' heart sink slightly in his chest.

He did enjoy being alone sometimes but it was always nice for once in a while to have someone to talk to, he had always dreamed that there were other people or perhaps even one other person who understood him and he could be friends with, no not even friends, just someone to have some normal conversations with about things they shared in common, he had hoped to express some of his goals and his passions with someone anyone as long as they treated him kindly but Severus knew that was too much to ask for.

"OI SNIVELLUS!"

Severus looked up just in time to see a large plate of spaghetti bolognaise hit him in the side of the head splattering all over his robes, all into his hair and on his face.

The Gryffindor table roared with laughter especially James Potter who was on his feet hi-fiving everyone around him. Severus wiped some of the food from his face, got to his feet and hurried out of the hall alone.

He didn't stop running until he got into the dormitory. Kicking his bag under his bed he grabbed his towel and marched into the bathroom locking the door behind him. He angrily yanked off his clothes his cheeks burning crimson from anger and shame. He threw his clothes into the wash basket, turned the taps on and filled the bath. He watched as the bubbles floated in the air around him before switching off the taps and lowering himself into the water.

Severus sank down so he was sitting on the small ledge in the pool taking his flannel he began to scrub his skin, gritting his teeth he scrubbed and scrubbed into it glowed furiously under his touch, little red spots appeared beneath the skin where he was rubbing himself raw all over.

Holding his breath he dunked his hair under and quickly rinsed the food from it, surfacing he watched all the little bits of meat, sauce and spaghetti mixing around the water's surface with the bubbles.

He seized the bottle of shampoo and began clawing at his scalp furiously tears falling freely from his eyes.

He wasn't even safe at meal times, even when he was sitting quietly at his own house table on his own doing nothing at all they would get him, when he would sit and read in the afternoon sunshine under the trees they would get him, when he was busy working during lessons they would get him even destroy his work and try to ruin his possessions. He briefly wondered if he was even safe in the dormitory if somehow they would be able to come and get him while he slept. A shiver ran down his spine and he shook the frightening thoughts from his head.

Although he enjoyed his lessons and he loved being in the castle he HATED having to be here with them. When he was a young boy his mother always spoke so highly of Hogwarts and told him stories when he went to bed at night about how beautiful the castle was especially during winter when it was covered with a thick white blanket of snow, how all the owls swooped in during breakfast with letters and parcels, how he would learn so much and would enjoy his time there with all the other little boys and girls his age making new friends and such.

Severus had spent most of his childhood dreaming about what it would be like to finally get there, when his letter arrived he was over the moon he couldn't wait to go, his first glimpses of Diagon Alley only excited him further, his mother had taken him there too and when he finally left for Hogwarts he was thrilled to be away from home, especially to get away from his parents constant fighting but his happiness was short lived and he was now wondering how on Earth he was going to make it through the next few years, he was only a fourth year he still had a long way to go.

Rinsing the shampoo from his hair he got out of the bath draining it of its contents, sniffing loudly as he wrapped his towel around his waist and headed back into the dormitory. The others still weren't back yet it was a bit early for them to come up.

He dropped his towel and pulled on his grey nightshirt slipping under his bed covers and drawing the curtains closed around his bed.

Severus lay with the covers wrapped around his head sobbing quietly, he had only been back three weeks and his life was a mess. His favourite thing about being able to go home for the summer was the fact he would be away from _them. _That perfect Quidditch King James Potter with the wind swept hair and those round glasses all the girls fell over themselves to get closer to him, that handsome Sirius Black with his perfect teeth, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect grades perfect friends. A pair of perfect purebloods. Then there was that Peter Pettigrew who had more fat than brain cells, frankly Severus never really took much notice of him he was the tag along, the perfect tag along whom was never as good as the rest but still admired in his own way. Finally there was that blonde haired blue eyed Remus Lupin, the mysteriously handsome one that always had something to hide, the one who pursed his lips with disapproval, the one who barely interfered even when he did he was knocked straight back, the perfect other friend for their little circle. All perfect, everything perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect!

Severus gritted his teeth how he _hated _ them how he _feared _ them coming for him to humiliate him, beat him, hurt him, cause him so much unbelievable stress.

In some ways Severus was slightly jealous of them, the fact they were four incredibly close friends, more like brothers really well Sirius had a brother, Regulus, he was alright he was always nice to Severus one time they had even talked about how annoying Sirius is and Regulus was shocked to hear some of the things his brother would do to Severus, and Severus was in fact shocked to hear some of the things he had done to Regulus at home to get him into trouble.

They had all the talent, they had the brains, they had their followers, the whole school knew exactly who they were and admired them. Severus refused to be a sheep, to follow the crowd and be like anyone else, he certainly did not worship them.

He thought back on all the times he had been hurt and humiliated by those people.

Reaching under his bed he pulled out a small black box, opening it up he sat up in bed taking something out of it that was wrapped in a piece of white black cloth. Lifting the soft material from it he held a sharp blade in his hands staring at it, twirling it through his fingers anger and sadness welling up in his chest.

Shakily he pulled up the sleeves of his nightshirt, lifted the blade and slashed quickly across his left wrist hissing at the stinging pain it brought. He felt a small wave of release crash over him as he sliced in for the fourth time watching the blood staining his skin. Switching hands he slashed open his right wrist hissing and wincing with the pain, he thought off all those bitter nights he had spent crying, all of the hours in the day he had spent hiding or lurking about trying to avoid them, trying to avoid being frightened and abused by them once again.

Severus took several slow deep breaths his hands still shaking his wrists still bleeding, he carefully wrapped the knife back up placing it into its box he slipped it under the bed, nobody knew about it, nobody knew about this, just one of his many dirty little secrets.

He waited until the bleeding had subsided before pulling his sleeves back down and snuggling up into the covers still sniffling slightly. He felt better.

About an hour or so later Severus was drifting off to sleep, he could hear his dorm mates entering the room quietly so as not to wake him, he listened to their shuffling through half lidded eyes until the final movement of a bed sheet stopped and he sighed drifting off to sleep to escape for a few meagre hours until tomorrow arrived and he would be pushed even further towards the edge….


	2. Always Sinking

It was another one of those little things that Severus Snape didn't tell anybody about, that he didn't want anyone to know about. One of those things he enjoyed to do especially at night when he had time to himself to think, he could get out of bed and sneak off out into the school grounds out of sight of possible prying eyes. He guessed in a way it probably wasn't the answer to any of this and it really wasn't going to fix the problems but he did it anyway, another form of relief. It was his way out.

Severus dropped down on the dark moonlit bank against the Cliffside to the Hogwarts grounds gazing out across the Black Lake, the silver moonlight glittering along its peaceful surface casting a small amount of light to the first trees of the forest. The shadows from the trees stretching elegantly across the grounds, the little warm light was still on in Hagrid's hut. Even Severus had to admit it was quite a beautiful sight and one of his more favourable things about being in the castle, the amazing views it constantly provided.

Severus sighed placing a small metal tin down in the cool grass in front of him. Each time he did this, it made him nervous he sometimes even shook with anticipation as his fingers set to work on the task at hand and he hummed to himself.

Moments later he pulled out his wand and lit the roll with the end of his wand. Pulling the joint to his lips he took a deep drag slowly exhaling into the crisp night air.

He certainly needed it after the past week he had. Severus always let his mind wander at these moments, if he was high everything seemed better no matter how bad it was, some of the pain would subside and he could think about anything and everything, he could think it all through with minimal hurt. Hurting was something he did a lot of and a feeling he was incredibly used to.

He took another slow drag flopping down on his back wincing at the slight pain it brought from where just the other day golden boy Potter had tripped him at the bottom of the stairs, he had slipped at the bottom and landed harshly on his back and could barely walk afterwards, the even missed lessons the next day as he couldn't actually move very well which, in a way, was a relief at least he wouldn't have to face that band of gorillas when he wasn't able to move properly. Severus shuddered he dreaded to think that would happen if he had. There was one thing though, one small thing that he hadn't failed to notice, as said gorillas went laughing past grinning for approval from some of the watching spectators, their followers, the sheep, he heard a voice speak clearly.

"You could have really hurt him James, didn't anyone ever tell you that people break their necks falling down the stairs, that was a bit of a dangerous thing to do" Remus Lupin commented his nose wrinkled in disgust before they disappeared.

Severus laughed before taking another drag feeling that familiar rush ascending quickly to his head. So the golden haired one had decided to say something, Severus could scarcely remember the last time he had said anything which was when Sirius punched him in the face and locked him in a broom cupboard all afternoon, that Remus Lupin thought it cruel for no reason seeing as Severus was just standing looking over his essay in the corridor at the time.

Severus laughed again.

It wasn't actually that Lupin was standing up for him either, no, nobody ever stood up for sad lonely little Snape the greasy git with a big nose who's up to his eyes in the dark arts. Or so James Saint Potter thought.

That was another thing's that he had heard of recently. Foul and terribly cruel rumours being spread about him. That morning in fact he had overheard a group of students talking saying they had heard he'd already taken the Dark Mark and was infiltrating Hogwarts, that Snape, Mulciber and Avery were practicing using the Cruciatus curse behind closed doors and were planning on using it on the rest of the student body, that they were followers of Voldemort and they were waiting for the right moment to destroy everything, they were dark Wizards. Severus found this more amusing than offensive, like he'd actually use that curse against anyone, they might all see him as evil or bad just because of his appearance and his twitchy walk, his long ebony locks that he shielded himself behind from the rest of the world. Severus was different and he knew it but it was something he both loved and hated about himself, he loved being different, unique and interesting (not that anybody found him interesting unless he was under the torture of the knightly Gryffindor's) He'd gladly take the Cruciatus curse any day.

That wasn't the end to the rumours, far from it in fact. Severus always knew what people said about him, mostly because they said I loudly enough for him to hear knowing he wouldn't stand up for himself he just walked on past sad and alone.

"Did you hear that Snape boy is a death eater?"

"Snivellus is a bag of scum who deserves to die"

"If he didn't exist then the world would be a much brighter place, can't stand to see his miserable face skulking around the corridors any longer apparently he'll get expelled soon any way for using dark magic"

Severus mostly ignored these things he didn't say anything back because it would only add more fuel to the rapidly growing blaze.

Severus stubbed out the end and stuck the remains into the tin so he could dispose of it later, it wouldn't do to leave anything lying around in case anybody found it, he would no longer be able to sneak out for his little night time escape especially not if he was expelled or caught, that wouldn't help with the rumours next it would be 'Did you hear that Snape is a drug addict?'.

He lay there for a few minutes staring up at the beautiful star washed sky feeling relaxed and slightly dazed. Everything seemed much better and Severus felt better in himself but still he knew the effects wouldn't last and soon he would come down in tears, alone.

Yawning he stretched himself out like a cat wincing again with the small pain it brought before he got to his feet feeling incredibly good, like he was invincible like he could take on James Potter and his little minions right here and right now.

He sighed getting to his feet and pocketing the tin, he began walking across the cool grounds back towards the castle. It was getting cold and it just wouldn't do for Severus to become ill, he really wouldn't be able to face them if that were to happen.

He snuck through the entrance hall creeping quietly along the dungeon corridor he couldn't hear a sound. Silently he slipped into the boys toilets. He made his way over to the sinks gazing at his pallid skin, he looked awful. His hair was lank and greasy, his skin was pale and drawn on his thin face, he couldn't even see his pupils through the darkness and that they partly disappeared into his dark irises. He ran the taps and splashed some cold water onto his face feeling himself slowly starting to come down. He looked terrible, he looked ill, some days he even made himself vomit from the stress, he couldn't cope with this anymore the teachers who did know about the bullying only took what they saw (which was at the lower end of the scale for it) as harmless disagreements between them, they would never get punished and even if they did it was a telling off or five points from Gryffindor. One day one of the teachers had even taken points from Severus accusing him of starting the fights. They didn't seem to realise how bad it was or that it was getting much worse.

Sniffing loudly, Severus went into one of the cubicles, kicking the seat down he covered it in toilet paper and sat down with his head in his hands.

He honestly didn't know how much longer he could go on like this it was torture living in constant fear worried for his safety every waking moment of the day in case they came along and beat him, tormented him or humiliated him. He was always on guard, always apprehensive and expecting someone to come out of nowhere and attack him, that was his way of life the only way he knew. Nobody ever came to help him either he was backed against a wall and treated cruelly simply for 'existing' as Potter quite so rightly put it.

'Perhaps I would be better off dead, at least that way I'd finally bet at peace' Severus thought miserably as the tears began to brim in his eyes. 'If I were to die right now nobody would give a shit about me, in fact they would probably laugh, Potter and Black would be over the moon to see my body being carted off' he thought again gritting his teeth as the tears began to fall freely.

Severus was well aware that nobody at the school gave a damn about him or his well-being it was 'Severus Snape the greasy death eater, Severus Snape the night stalker, Severus Snape the one everyone hates because he exists'

Severus began to sob hiding his face in his hands, he just wanted someone to show him some form of kindness even a 'hello how are you' was something Severus had craved desperately, he just wanted one person just one would do to be nice to him and ask him how he was feeling, his dorm mates asked him this usually when they wanted to talk to him about something or find out about something important. It would be nice to just have some simple normal conversation with someone. But he knew that would never happen nobody would actually care about him, they just didn't he was one of those people who blended into the background but was frequently torn forth to be treated worse than flea infested vermin. Lower than low as Black constantly reminds him.

Severus was now sobbing loudly into his hands, tears streaming down his face, he didn't even hear when the door opened and someone came in.

On his way back from detention Remus was not in the mood for games tonight, he had just spent three hours cleaning cauldrons and dishes in the classrooms thanks to his friends stupid behaviour in lessons, they didn't even get in trouble for it just Remus.

He stopped abruptly when he entered the boy's toilet and heard a loud painful noise. Someone was in there, someone was crying.

Curiously he walked silently across the toilet towards the cubicles, one of the doors was ajar but he couldn't quite see in it. Someone was definitely crying their eyes out in there.

Remus had never come across anyone in the toilets crying before he had overheard girls talking about their friend locking herself in a cubicle to cry alone and such but never with the boys.

Unsure of what would be best to do, Remus peeked inside.

And saw Severus Snape the slippery Slytherin crying his eyes out into his hands on the toilet in the dark. Alone.

He shifted uneasily from foot to foot biting his bottom lip, he should probably just leave now before he was caught and-

"What the fuck?" Severus jumped staring at his with wild terrified eyes tears trickling down his cheeks.

Remus stared at him suddenly feeling very exposed.

'Oh no, oh please not here, not now I don't want them to see me this way they'll laugh, they'll do something cruel to me again' Severus thought desperately his heart beating wilding in his chest the tears still streaming down his face.

"Sorry I was just-"

"What are you doing down here, what do you want?" Severus snapped his voice cracking.

Remus swallowed hard.

"I was on my way back from detention I was going to go to the toilet and I heard someone crying…." He replied nervously.

"Well now you've had a good long look, go on run back to your little gang and tell them all about how the greasy git was crying alone in a school toilet, I bet it will be a great laugh for you all" Severus replied hotly wiping his eyes on his sleeves.

Remus chose to ignore this statement instead opting for a better route.

"Are, are you alright?" Remus asked cautiously.

"Do I look alright to you?"

Remus cringed slightly at the question. Nice one Remus, ask the most idiotic question you can think of, that's really going to help the situation.

"Well, is there something you want? Perhaps you'd like to beat me up, or shove my head down the toilet or maybe you'd rather call me names or hex me through the wall" Severus choked on his tears. He was still feeling a bit high, a bit dazed and terribly upset he couldn't care less right now if Lupin did decide hex him.

Remus felt a pang of sadness wash over him, he hated to see anyone upset especially in this state Severus looked awful something must have gone seriously wrong for Severus Snape the emotionless dark little boy who tried his best to hide his feelings ever since they made him cry in first year earning him his famous nickname. Remus thought for a few moments searching for the right words.

"I won't tell my friends" he said simply and Severus stared at him through wet eyes.

"Like I believe that"

"Honestly I won't, has something-"

"Fuck off, Lupin" Severus snapped burying his face back in his hands.

"I was just-"

"I thought I told you to fuck off?" Severus shouted and Remus took a step back holding his hands up nervously.

He watched as Severus buried his face back in his hands and continued to sob before he turned his back and left. He would just have to use another toilet.

As Remus lay in bed that night he couldn't get the images of Severus sitting alone in a dark toilet sobbing his heart out into his hands for reasons unknown. What could possibly put him in that state, had the others kicked him out of the dormitory, or had something terrible happened? Remus was always a caring, compassionate person who would gladly help anyone if they were hurt and would feel for them, he was far more sensitive than his friends and it bothered him to see someone, even Snape in that state.

Remus sighed and rolled onto his side, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty, perhaps he should have stayed.

After what seemed like hours, Severus eventually stopped crying. Wiping his cheeks on his sleeves he sniffed before leaving the toilet. He hurried back along the dungeon corridor, through the common room and up into his dark dormitory before anyone saw him, it was already well past midnight and the others were sleeping soundly in their beds. He undressed and slipped under the cool covers drawing his curtains closed around him waiting for yet another sleepless night to follow.

It was the next afternoon when Severus was walking quite happily down the corridor towards the library his books in his arms. Today had gone relatively well, he had gained ten house points during Herbology that morning although Peter did throw a large handful of potting soil at his head, he was already ahead with his work in Potions and Divination and was now planning on going to the library for a few hours to sit and do his other work in peace.

He stopped abruptly he could hear voices coming from around the corner but no footsteps. Pressing himself up against the wall he listened.

"I think I've found a new passage way out of the castle, Padfoot" James said in a low voice and Severus' brows furrowed

"Really, where is it?" Sirius' voice asked eagerly.

James glanced up and down the corridor making sure nobody was there to listen in.

"The one eyed Witch statue, there's some sort of spell it requires to open and it should come up in Hogsmeade" James replied quickly.

So that's what they were doing, looking for ways to sneak out of the castle so they could run rampant through Hogsmeade when they weren't supposed to be there. Severus would have to file this away in the back of his mind and chase it up later perhaps he could get them expelled if it proved to be worth anything.

"Have you told Moony and Wormtail?" Sirius asked again.

James nodded.

"Yeah but Moony wasn't interested, he's seemed in a funny mood all day today like he had something on his mind" James half shrugged.

"Didn't he say what it was?" Sirius spoke again.

"No he sort of shrugged me off said he had stuff to think about" James replied with a sigh.

"Now that you mention it he's been acting funny since he came back from detention last night, you don't think something happened to him do you?" Sirius frowned slightly.

"I have no idea, maybe Filch just gave him some horrible punishment like scraping slime from the toilets, we should go and put a couple of Cornish Pixies in his desk drawer, let him have some fun with them" James grinned maliciously.

"Prongs…. I like your thinking" Sirius grinned.

Last night…. Remus had been in detention last night he had spoken to Remus in fact when he had been caught in the toilets crying. But the way they were talking was as if Remus was bothered by something that happened last night when they were not with him, and they hadn't mentioned Severus' name so it could only mean that Remus actually hadn't told them anything.

Taking a deep breath Severus pulled out his wand, he could still hear the two boys still talking to one another just around the corner. This was the only opportunity he would have to do this, it had been a while since he had gotten any form of payback and he felt it would only be fair.

He peered around the corner James and Sirius were standing facing each other talking amongst themselves excitedly. Pointing his wand at them he took a deep breath.

"Densaugeo" Severus said quickly a flash of light hit James and he whirled around, his two front teeth growing at an alarming rate.

"What the-" James clapped his hands to his mouth covering his rapidly growing teeth.

"Snape!" Sirius shouted ripping out his wand.

Severus turned and bolted down the corridor in a flash. Sirius and James came pelting after him hurling hexes at him.

"Reducto!" Severus shouted aiming his wand back at a chair sitting in the corridor, it got blown into the air exploding, James and Sirius skidded to a halt but Severus didn't stop to see what happened he continued to run, out onto the staircases and down into the toilets on the floor below. He threw himself through the door gasping for breath the adrenaline still pumping through his system. That felt good.

Severus tucked his wand back into his pocket and stood clenching the sink in his hands he couldn't help but grin at the memory of James' face when he spell hit and his teeth grew right down just past his chin.

Severus waited a good half an hour before he snuck out the toilet and back along to the library so he was sure James and Sirius would have disappeared he did not fancy running into either of them red faced and angry.

He walked into the library alone as usual, heading through the rows of bookcases he made his way to the far back right hand corner where he usually sat alone to do his work where nobody would disturb him and he was concealed from anyone who came in. Usually people left him alone when he was hidden in the library because they didn't go that far back. He sat down at his usual table pulling his books from his bag.

He looked up to see a pair of Slytherin sixth years come running to the back, the dark haired boy pushed the chubby blonde girl with a squashed face against the wall and immediately started kissing her.

Severus felt extremely uncomfortable watching his hands begin to wander over her torso and felt a pang of disgust run through him seeing the boy fondling her breast. They turned and the boys eyes opened he caught sight of Severus staring and instantly broke the kiss.

"What the bleeding hell are you looking at?" he snarled and the girl turned took one look at Severus and her mouth fell open.

"Nothing" Severus replied turning his attention back to his book hoping they would just leave.

They stared at him in disgust.

"Come on let's go somewhere else, I don't fancy being watched by that little freak" the girl wrinkled her nose, taking her boyfriend by the hand and pulling him away calling things over their shoulders at Severus before they disappeared.

Severus sighed. There was another thing he had always thought about, love. Severus had never known what it was like to have someone fancy him or fancy someone else he'd never been given the chance and never been close enough to anyone for anything like that to ever have happened but that was okay with him in some ways, at least then he couldn't get hurt, at least then he wouldn't have any added stress. A wave of sadness washed over him, perhaps he'd never meet anyone he used to think about meeting someone nice and a relationship growing with them, someone to talk to most of all, someone he could share secrets and dreams with, someone who could hold him and make everything better, someone who would love him for who he was regardless.

But that was all some silly fantasy that Severus knew would never come true, nobody wanted him pure and simple, nobody had ever shown any interest in him in fact nobody had even paid him the slightest compliments apart from the praise he received from his teachers for his work but he had never received so much as a small compliment on his physical appearance only insults which came at him constantly.

Severus had thought about what it would be like to fall in love with someone, to have feelings for another person and have them in return, to have someone kissing him. What was it like to kiss someone? After all Severus was a teenaged boy and he was curious, his hormones still raged no matter how he felt and he often woke up hard or having ejaculated in his sleep and woken up unable to remember his obviously erotic dream feeling lonely and sad in his empty bed.

"Hello" a familiar soft voice broke his train of thought.

Severus jumped slightly looking up into the face of none other than Remus Lupin standing next to him his bag slung over his shoulder staring down at Severus his face lax and calm.

"Hi" Severus replied warily glancing around for his friends, his heart rate was picking up as he felt panic rising in his chest, surely they hadn't found him and were planning an attack on him here in the library.

"Don't worry, my friends aren't here, I came in to catch up on my homework and I heard your name being mentioned by that couple who just left so I came back here" Remus replied.

Severus' dark eyes narrowed.

"Still, why would you come back here, there are hundreds of other desks you could sit at and plenty of other people to talk to why would you take any interest in me, Lupin?" Severus replied staring the boy down.

Remus was quiet for a few moments shifting from foot to foot nervously.

"Look Severus, after last night-"

"DON'T mention that" Severus snarled nastily. "It's none of your business"

"Okay sorry, I just thought that maybe-"

Severus shot him a filthy look and Remus fell silent. Severus turned his attention back to his book trying to ignore Remus, what was his game why was he suddenly interested in what was happening to Severus. Spying, he was probably spying on him and would run back to his friends and tell them everything.

But he hadn't mentioned last night, probably because he had something on his mind but Severus knew he hadn't forgotten.

"May I sit down?" Remus asked gesturing to the chair.

Severus stared at it for a few moments. If he was going to keep Lupin quiet, he was going to have to at least be civil with him. He nodded watching the chair being drawn back and Lupin sat down beside him pulling his potions essay and text book from his bag.

Severus forced himself to continue reading his history of magic text trying to absorb himself into the text but his gaze kept wandering back to Lupin's essay. He caught glimpses of it here and there and realised that Lupin was quite far behind with the work and appeared to be struggling his dark blonde eyebrows creased into a frown as he studied the pages of his text book.

A few minutes passed and Severus couldn't help but steal glances at Remus' work, he had barely written a few lines and seemed to be struggling. Letting out a long drawn out breath he turned to Lupin.

"The last ingredient you're looking for is the four Chizpurfle carapaces, they're added whole into the potion and then stirred for exactly thirty five seconds clockwise and then anti-clockwise" Severus said slowly.

Remus turned and stared at him, was Severus actually trying to help?

"Oh…. Thank you…." Lupin sad slightly surprised as he began to scribble it down onto the essay he was writing adding a good inch to it.

"I've already finished mine, in the last lesson" Severus said again.

"Bloody hell, how fast do you write?" Lupin chuckled turning the page of his text book over.

"Quite, it's easier when you know what you're writing about I spent half the summer reading and picked up a few things" Severus replied looking back down at the book in front of him.

"You're the best in our year at potions, aren't you?" Lupin said without looking up from the paragraph he was reading.

Severus shifted in his chair but didn't say anything.

They sat in silence reading their text books for about half an hour, neither of them saying anything or even acknowledging each other's presence. Severus had to admit it was nice to have someone actually sitting next to him even if he did feel very wary of Lupin he did genuinely seem to be alright with him today. Perhaps it was all some elaborate plot to jump him, either way Severus did not trust this boy.

"The woman's name is Wendelin the Weird" Lupin said suddenly making Severus jump and stare at him.

"Excuse me?" he blinked confusedly and Remus laughed.

"The woman you are looking for to answer that question, her name was Wendelin the Weird, she allowed herself to be captured and burned at the stake forty seven times in various disguises because she enjoyed the feeling of the flame freezing charm settling the fire to mere tickles so much" Lupin smiled and Severus looked slightly impressed before writing it down into his notebook.

There was another long silence only the sound of pages turning and quills scratching filled the air around them.

"You know, Severus, I can't excuse my friends behaviour but that doesn't mean I don't disapprove of it, what they do to you that is" Remus began setting his quill down on the table and staring at Severus who had tensed up but continued to write his eyes still fixated on his notebook.

"Yeah well, it's not like I'm not used to it" Severus replied coolly.

Lupin swallowed audibly.

"I saw James on the way here, he was looking for you…."

Severus dropped his quill and tensed his eyes immediately darting around in case Potter was hiding somewhere waiting to jump out and attack him.

"No he's not here, I told him I saw you heading down to the dungeons" Lupin said quickly and Severus stared at him in disbelief.

"He's furious about his teeth by the way they were almost shoulder length when I saw him, says you hexed him from round the corner then ran away" Severus swore he could see a smirk twitch in the corner of Lupin's mouth.

"Oh well he had it coming, payback" Severus shrugged.

"I would have expected something slightly more elaborate from you, Severus" Lupin said again and Severus eyed him suspiciously.

"What do you mean by that?" he frowned. "Does this have something to do with all of those rumours your friends have been spreading about me?" Severus could feel the anger rising in his chest.

"No, no I just meant that I was expecting something much more exciting that a tooth growing hex" Lupin said quickly and Severus relaxed slightly eyeing him suspiciously.

Remus actually felt quite bad every time he saw Severus flinch, tense or look around as if he was constantly on guard and expecting an attack. He had seen the look in Severus' eye each time his friends advanced on him, or tormented him, or even went near him it was that strange little look he had almost like fear but something much deeper than that. In some ways this intrigued Remus to find out more about Severus Snape.

"Oh…." Severus nodded slowly turning his attention back to his essay.

Another half hour passed in silence before Remus checked the time and started packing his things into his bag.

"I'd better be off, Sirius asked to meet me at four says there's something he and James need to show me" Lupin said shoving his things deep into his bag and turning to Severus.

"Okay, bye then" Severus said without looking up.

"See you later, Severus" Lupin said before getting to his feet, tucking the chair under the desk and leaving the library.

Severus sat watching after him Lupin had come to sit with him for over an hour, helped him with his homework and had even been something close to nice to him. Severus' eyes narrowed to slits as he peered through the long rows of bookshelves. Something wasn't right about this, what was Lupin's game?

Shaking his head he continued with his work for a few more hours before his eyes grew heavy and he felt too tired to work. Checking the time it was already gone nine, he had missed dinner, not that he even wanted to go there he avoided the great hall when he could, he felt too open and exposed there especially seeing as Potter had taken to throwing plates of food at him or shouting things at him. He hated having to sit there with hundreds of students around him talking and making noise with their friends enjoying themselves whilst he sat alone completely unprotected whilst he ate his pathetic meals. Pathetic meals, pathetic Severus.

He collected his things and headed off out along the corridor, it was pretty quiet as he headed along the corridor. Moving out onto the staircases he hurried right to the bottom and along the dungeon corridor. Heading through the common room he walked straight up into the dormitory closing the door behind him.

"Alright Snape?" Avery greeted lounging on his bed as Severus walked to the bed next to him and sat down kicking off his shoes he nodded.

"Fine thanks, you?" he felt compelled to ask.

"Yeah not bad thanks, listen, I need your help" Avery smirked turning to Severus who stared at him for a few moments in confusion.

"Don't look so worried I only want your brain" Avery chuckled as Mulciber dropped down next to his dark haired friend.

"Yeah, see Snape, we've got this little…. Idea…. We'd like your help with" Mulciber continued slinging his arm around Avery's shoulders a smirk playing on his face.

"And what might that be?" Severus replied carefully, he knew both Mulciber and Avery could turn very nastily without much need to provoke them.

"The Imperius curse, what do you know about it?" Avery asked casually leaning forward staring hard at Severus through soft green eyes.

"Well it's one of the three unforgivable curses, it's usage can get you locked up in Azkaban, it forces the person you use it on to do your bidding no matter how extreme they would have no choice in the matter" Severus began resting his hands in his lap.

"Yes…. What else?" Mulciber asked curiously.

"Being such a powerful curse you really have to mean it for it to take effect, if say a first year were to attempt it nothing would happen, or if someone who hadn't got full intentions or was not in the right frame of mind tried to use it there would be little or no effect, sometimes when Wizards have used it they have only managed to get the victim to perform tasks they wouldn't mind doing, simpler things that they would be less able to resist" he continued.

The boys looked at each other thoughtfully for a few moments.

"So if I was to use it on you right now to do my homework, what would happen?" Avery asked again.

"I highly doubt you would do it in the first place, but if you did there is a fifty percent chance of it working depending on your state of mind and how good I am at resisting it" Severus replied calmly although his insides were churning with nerves.

"I'm not going to use it on you by the way I was just using it as an example" Avery said noticing Severus' worried expression. "Is there anything else, how is it performed?"

"Why do you want to know so much about it?" Severus raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

Mulciber shrugged. "Just curiosity"

Severus stared at them suspiciously before he continued. "The incantation is 'Imperio' despite it being called the Imperius Curse it can be traced with ones wand using Priori Incantatem, most students wouldn't be capable of performing and if they did the effects wouldn't be overly powerful however in their final years they may be able to do it as they are studying more advanced magic and have emotionally matured to a level where it is possible"

Avery and Mulciber looked at each other thoughtfully for a few moments.

"Well okay, thanks Snape" Mulciber nodded as Severus moved fully onto his bed and pulled the curtains closed around himself. He pulled his nightshirt out from under his bed covers and began to undress himself. He never changed clothing in front of his dorm mates just so they couldn't see his body, mock him for being skinny and bony, out of shape and not the slightest bit muscular or broad like they were but most of all he didn't want them to see his scars, if they saw his scars they would know and they would torment him for it, the whole school would know he self-harmed. Not just self-harmed he slashed himself. Sometimes after running away from yet another torture session from the knights of Gryffindor, he would take his knife, hide himself away and slice those cruel words they called him into his skin, watching the blood trickle from the open wounds and eventually heal to scars of filthy words. Severus gritted his teeth reading them, he knew what he was the scars were just reminders.

Kneeling so he was in his underwear he gazed down at himself, his arms were slashed all the way up to his elbows he had several cuts on his thighs and even some fresh ones across his chest he had done in the bathroom that morning. The sight of his own body made him feel sick, he was a slim boy, not underweight but very skinny, he wasn't well built or what one would deem to have a nice body especially not with his cuts and scars, some of the scars were fading but he knew at some point he would end up going over them cutting them open again to relieve the agony he was in on the inside.

Severus always believed that emotional pain came from the heart, the feeling he had in his chest every time he was tormented, humiliated a teased was like a ships anchor had been tied to his heart and left to plummet through his body. He believed that cutting himself relieved him of this pain, it took the emotional sting from him just leaving with a temporary physical one, he blood seeping from his veins draining the pain in his heart away, he could bleed it all out.

Pointing his wand at the goblet on his bedside table he whispered. "Aguamenti" sipping at his quickly he snuggled down under the bed covers. If there was one thing Severus felt continually day and night, it was that he was always sinking….


	3. Double Discovery

A few days had passed since the time in the library and Severus had been doing his best to avoid James and Sirius. He would arrive for meals in the great hall early, if he even bothered to go, and sit between large groups of people and wait until he saw them leave and wait some extra time before hurrying off down into the dungeons. During lessons with them he would hang back or rush out early so he was sure that they wouldn't be able to catch him. Oh they did try, they would have a go at him, throw things across the classroom at him, yell abuse at him but they couldn't corner him and the rumours circulated worse than usual but at least he was safe.

One afternoon he was heading through the stone courtyard outside reading through one of his essays just to double check his charms homework before class. He chewed on his bottom lip as he made his way back into the castle his eyes scanning carefully over his words.

Glancing up he stopped abruptly when he saw none other than Sirius fucking Black standing pressed up against one of the statues his arms wrapped around a Ravenclaw girl's slim waist, one hand slowly creeping its way down to her backside giving it a firm grope as his tongue pushed its way into her mouth. Severus almost gagged at the sight.

Burying his unfortunate sized nose in his work he made to hurry off when-

"OI! What the hell do you think you're staring at?" Sirius demanded angrily breaking the kiss. The girl in his arms turning to glare furiously over at Severus who had stopped in his tracks feeling very uncomfortable.

"Certainly not you" Severus retorted wrinkling his nose in disgust, if there was one thing he didn't want to see it was Sirius Black with his hands up some slags skirt and his tongue down her throat.

"You were fucking staring, what is your problem?" Sirius demanded letting go of the girl who straightened her uniform and shot Severus a nasty glare.

"Listen I have to go I'm supposed to be meeting my friends, I'll see you later, I don't fancy hanging around here with _that_ watching us" she spat glancing at Severus again and Sirius nodded to her.

"Alright I'll see you later then" he pecked her quickly on the lips before she hurried off out of sight and he turned his attention back to Severus as the three other Marauders came strolling down the stairs.

Severus turned to walk away again but Sirius called him back.

"I'm not done with you Snape, why the hell were you staring at us poking your fucking massive nose into my business as usual" Sirius demanded as he was joined eagerly by James and Peter, Remus stood awkwardly beside them unsure of what to do.

"It's kind of difficult not to notice when you can't keep your hands off of some slag in the corridors, there are other people here apart from you" Severus snapped back tucking his homework safely into his bag.

"Nah plenty of other people see that all the time, you were full on staring, what's the matter are you jealous because no girl would ever touch you?" Sirius laughed nastily and Severus shrugged.

"Like I'd want one to touch me" he replied casually.

The four boys exchanged glances and James raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"What do you mean you wouldn't want a girl to touch you, why the hell not?" he asked confusedly.

"Maybe it's because if they did they would slide off of him with the amount of oil he has on his skin" Peter laughed and James immediately high fived him with a grin.

"Nice one Pete" Sirius grinned flashing those irritatingly white teeth again.

"Or maybe it's because I don't want a girlfriend because I'm not interested in them" Severus corrected glancing up at the staircase wondering if it would be alright to just walk straight by them hoping they wouldn't do anything to him or hex him when his back was turned.

The four boys stared at him for a few moments.

"OH MY GOD HE'S GAY!" Sirius shouted pointing the accusing finger at Severus who blushed slightly and made for the stairs.

"Err that's disgusting, do you take it up the slimy arse then?" James asked wrinkling his nose with disgust.

"I'll bet he uses the grease from his hair as lube" Sirius laughed.

"No, unlike some people I can keep it in my trousers" Severus said hotly feeling very embarrassed but strangely like he may have the upper hand here.

"He's a virgin!" James laughed pointing at Severus doubling back into Sirius who also burst out laughing along with Peter. Remus on the other hand stood rooted to the spot an odd expression washing over his face.

"Better a virgin than a man whore" Severus sniffed as he started to walk up the stairs his eyes fixed on them as a Hufflepuff boy was walking down them.

"Hey watch out there mate, back to the wall or he might try and bum you!" James shouted and the boy stopped and stared worriedly at Severus who hurried past without looking back, this was all he needed right now.

He hurried along the corridor and up to the Charms classroom not wanting to face anyone that was more than enough Gryffindor's for him today.

"Excellent, Severus, your structure has definitely improved" professor Flitwick said scanning over his essay he handed in at the start of the lesson. They were talking inside the Charms classroom as a few of the others trailed in.

"Thank you sir" he said slowly staring down at his shoes.

"Severus, is there something…. Bothering you?" the unusually small man asked raising an eyebrow curiously up at the young boy.

"No" Severus shook his head, his long greasy hair flopping around his face, he had decided against washing it that morning.

"You seem slightly quiet today, even quieter than usual" Flitwick said again and Severus shrugged slightly.

"I'm fine" he lied.

Flitwick stared at him for a few moments before he nodded.

"Very well, you may have a seat the others are arriving" he gestured towards the desks.

Without a word, Severus moved and sat down at the far right hand corner right at the back of the classroom trying to keep as far away from the others as possible. He pulled his text book, ink, quill and parchment from his back glancing up as the four Marauders came into the room laughing as usual, Sirius shot him a death glare before they dropped into their own seats over the other side of the room.

As the lesson got under way, Severus began to relax slightly, only in lessons when they had a decent teacher would he ever relax because he knew Professor Flitwick although very understanding, fair and decent would discipline Sirius, James and Peter if they started acting up and he sometimes purposely held Severus back after lesson to give them a head start before Severus left just to try and help him. Flitwick knew there was some animosity and difficulties between the five boys but he didn't know to what extent and for that Severus was grateful.

Remus sighed resting his chin in his left hand as he scribbled down a few notes just to make it look like he was doing some work this lesson. He usually did do rather a lot of work but today his mind was elsewhere he had other things to think about and in his opinion they were more important than Charms theory work.

He looked to his left where Sirius was sitting beside him, he appeared to be dozing off slightly watching James and Peter writing what appeared to be crude notes in the back of their notebooks they were obviously planning on sending to someone, most likely Severus or one of the girls. Remus rolled his eyes, he was starting to get a little tired of their behaviour it was getting out of hand at times, albeit he didn't usually say anything he went along with it or hung back quietly because they were his first proper friends, his first true friends he had ever had in his life. Being a werewolf brought up in the countryside with no siblings and being raised a sheltered life, friends were hard to come by and the fact these three boys had decided to stick by him and support him through thick and thin, he was extremely thankful and lucky to have them by his side.

He yawned stretching his legs out under the table he had just been sitting there staring into space for an hour his mind buzzing with thoughts. Glancing to his right his blue eyes wandered across the classroom where Severus was sitting, Remus found him an interesting subject to study or watch rather. The skinny boy with his slightly above average height, his long ebony locks falling softly to his shoulders glad in his clean school uniform, the long black cloak decorated with the Slytherin serpent on the front and the insides lined with green fabric, his silver and green house tie and grey jumper to match, Remus admired the way that Severus always managed to make himself look smart and presentable even though his trousers were over an inch too short, his jumper had shrunk a little in the wash and his shoes were clearly too big for him, probably bought by his mother in hopes he could use them for a few years and grow into them but apparently that hadn't happened.

Remus watched the dark haired boy as his onyx eyes glanced up at the teacher before he continued to scribble quickly onto the parchment looking only remotely interested in the subject at hand.

The one thing that hung through Remus' mind was that Severus was gay, he liked boys. Remus had never thought of Severus being gay, or bisexual or even straight, in fact he had never thought about it at all really as the Slytherin never displayed any physical or sexual attraction towards anyone, oh yes he did have friends who were male and then there was his rocky friendship with Lily Evans who was barely speaking to him as it was but Severus never showed anything towards her apart from the very occasional smile, and it was a weak one at that.

Remus had known himself for a while that he was developing feelings towards other people, those other people being other males. There wasn't anyone in particular he just felt he was attracted to them and caught himself thinking about what it would be like to have a relationship with another boy, to hug him and kiss him in a more intimate way than a friendly guy hug from a friend or a kiss on the cheek from his mother. Remus had never actually been that intimately close with another boy to tell, he just knew he preferred them over girls it did make him slightly uncomfortable when his friends discussed them especially James and his claims of undying love for Lily but Remus didn't feel that way about the opposite sex at all.

He continued to stare at the dark haired boy as a few strands of his long hair flopped onto the area he was writing, with long slender fingers he reached up and gently tucked the strands behind his ear and continued to write. Moments later he looked up his eyes wandering across the classroom before they fell on Remus sitting staring blankly at him. Severus raised an eyebrow quizzically at the werewolf who flushed slightly and looked away quickly before Snape noticed the heat rising to his pale cheeks.

Remus swallowed feeling embarrassed and confused, he had been caught staring at Severus Snape, bluntly staring at him from across the room, not saying anything harmful or doing anything wrong in particular just watching the other boy. Remus felt a little unnerved by the situation, actually, why should he, he was only looking at Snape he wasn't saying or doing anything too him he never did anything wrong to him he had spent some time with him in the library not long ago and it had gone well so where was the harm in looking at him. Maybe because it was the fact he was full blown staring at the boy who was supposed to be the enemy but nobody else saw and where was the harm?

Remus sighed resting his arms on the table and burying his face in them, he felt strange all of a sudden. He let out a long drawn out sigh, when did things start to change all of a sudden?

It was the next evening and Severus sat in the dormitory on his bed, he had changed clothing into a pair of plain black trousers and a plain black hooded jumper because once again he was going out tonight.

"Had any luck with that girl you were after?" Evan asked Mulciber as he folded his uniform over his night stand getting ready for bed.

"Not yet I'm biding my time, she'll come when she's good and ready" a nasty smirk crossed Mulciber's face which Severus tried to ignore.

"Are you sure about that?" Avery raised an eyebrow at him as he flipped through the pages of his magazine lounging across his bed.

"Are you saying that she won't be interested?" Mulciber snapped.

Avery shot a look to Evan before he shook his head. "Not at all my friend, I'm just simply stating there are ways you could…. Hurry it along" he glanced at Mulciber who climbed into bed a thoughtful expression washing over his face.

"I'm still thinking about that you know, but there's a lot more to it than what you think, practice makes perfect and if this goes seriously wrong then I could end up expelled or locked up" Mulciber replied.

"If what goes seriously wrong?" Severus asked curiously looking up from his Arithmancy text book.

"Do you remember that little discussion we had not so long ago?" Mulciber asked again.

"We had many discussions, you're going to have to be a little more specific than that" Severus blinked.

"The one about the Imperius Curse" Avery butted in quickly and Mulciber rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Yes, that one"

Severus stared hard at the larger broader built boy for a few moments searching his pale face and Severus' eyes widened.

"You're not thinking about actually using that curse are you?"

The other three boys started laughing.

"Well actually I was considering it, but only as a last resort of course I'd rather the little piece came to me willingly than have to make a show of her"

"You could get expelled for it you know, if that curse goes wrong or someone else sees you use it you're done for" Severus said quickly as Mulciber shrugged carelessly.

"I'm still only considering it, besides it's you who told me about it in the first place so if I did use it you would be partly to blame as well" Mulciber smirked a fine eyebrow twitching and Severus swallowed.

"You only asked to know about it, you didn't say what the information was for and that you were planning on using it on someone at school" Severus said worriedly.

"So tell me then Snape, what happens if I'm caught using it?" Mulciber sighed.

"If you use it on her she will report you to Dumbledore or one of the other teachers unless you can convince her otherwise, if someone else reported you then you could be in a lot of trouble because that would be more than one witness to it and Dumbledore could search your memories for what exactly happened" Severus said nervously. "If the curse goes wrong you could end up hurting her or yourself which is a problem in itself and of course there is the chance of it not working at all"

"What happens if I do get caught?"

"You would be expelled, possibly have your wand broken and sent to Azkaban, using them and being caught using an unforgiveable curse will get you locked up for life straight away" Severus said quickly.

Mulciber was quiet for a few moments.

"I'm still only thinking about it, biding my time and that try and coax her out of her little Gryffindor shell" Mulciber smirked to himself flopping back against the pillows his hands behind his head.

"Unlike you I can keep my loyalties to Slytherin" Avery commented knowing he would annoy his friend.

"Me too" Evan said quickly. "Or possibly if I had to, I'd stretch to someone in Ravenclaw they're a closer match to Slytherin than Gryffindor or Hufflepuff"

"What about you then Snape, seen any little skirts wandering around you'd like to stick your hands up?" Mulciber asked dropping his gazed to his friend who fidgeted uncomfortably on his bed and averted his eyes.

"That reminds me I heard a little rumour about you today, Severus" Avery smirked and Severus swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat.

"What might that be?" he asked shakily.

"Apparently according to Regulus' brother and his idiot friend Potter, Severus is a homosexual virgin" Avery laughed and the other two joined in.

Severus felt his face grow hot and he turned his attention back to his text book.

"Oi Snape, is it true?" Mulciber chuckled grinning over at Avery who looked equally as amused by this. "The gay thing, not the virgin part" he added.

"Don't tell me you're actually listening to those pricks rumours now are you?" Severus' eyes narrowed he was trying to stay as calm as possible about this.

"Well of course not but it's a bit hard when they turn around and say you admitted it" Avery chuckled.

Severus didn't reply.

"Severus, are you listening?" Evan asked stretching out in bed.

"What's the problem, just ignore them they're pathetic little Gryffindor's" Severus spat back nastily.

"Calm down there's no need to get so upset-"

"I'm not getting upset!" Severus replied without looking up from his book.

"Mate all you have to do is tell us if it's true or if they're being complete tossers as usual spreading shit again" Mulciber said staring over at Severus.

Snape looked up, his eyes wandering from one to the other his mouth opening and closing a blush creeping its way onto his face.

"AHA! It is true, they weren't lying he is gay!" Evan shouted excitedly and Severus blushed even more feeling his temper rise.

"Shut the fuck up, Evan" he snapped.

"So Snape, ever bummed someone off?" Avery smirked at his friend.

"No!" Severus snapped trying to focus his attention on the text.

"Ah so you've been bummed off by someone else!" Evan grinned.

"You have a charming way of putting it but no I have not been 'bummed off' by anyone, ever" Severus growled.

"Virgin then?" Mulciber asked raising his eyebrows.

Severus nodded grumpily.

"Aw, you need to find someone to pop your cherry" Evan commented and Severus ground his teeth with anger.

"Are there any blokes you'd like to take for a ride on the anal express, or of course be taken by?" Avery asked quickly, the three of them looked to Severus with general excitable intrigue.

"No there isn't, why can't you stop using such disgusting phrases and leave me alone I'm not planning on raping any of you in the toilets, or anyone else for that matter so you can stop worrying" Severus said gruffly.

"Chill out we were only having some fun" Evan chuckled and Severus shot him a warning glare.

"Right I'm off to bed, I'm knackered" Mulciber yawned. "Night guys and gays"

The drapes swung shut around his bed.

"Night" Avery called closing his own curtains, Evan shortly following.

Severus let out a long hard sigh. Great, now everybody knew, it wasn't bad enough that people had been eyeing him suspiciously and whispering about his all afternoon but now people were going to start teasing him even more just for being who he was, he couldn't help it if he found boys attractive it was just something he felt. He had used to fancy Lily but as their friendship started to fade, so did the feelings for her, in fact they faded entirely, Severus realised she was nothing special apart from a good friend who is slowly turning her back on him, they barely spoke anymore anyway and he no longer found her attractive. It had really been a childhood boys crush more than anything else, now his hormones were raging through his system and like the hundreds of other teenage boys in the school he found himself thinking about sex and love a lot more often as he got older now to him the idea of having a boyfriend was extremely attractive he had spent hours wondering what it would be like if he did manage to find one but of course he knew it was only a fantasy that it would never happen.

Severus sat pondering on the thought of boys when his mind slowly drifted back to what happened yesterday in Charms class. He was just sitting their making notes and minding his own business when he had turned and spotted Lupin sitting staring at him, just staring nothing more. His friends weren't even involved none of them were looking or even showing the slightest bit of interest in what Severus was doing, only Lupin.

Severus frowned thinking about it, Lupin was a gentle sort of person, never once had Severus seen him display any outward aggression towards another person including himself, he was always well reserved although he did get into trouble and had that troublemaking streak about him but never actually did anything wrong as such, he had once or twice tried to stop them from bullying or attacking Severus but it had never succeeded much to Severus' disappointment. Also the way Lupin had joined him in the library and sat there with him for over an hour dropping some help in with his work, Severus had chosen to help in return and they had gotten along pretty well and Severus felt at ease in the other boys company unlike with his friends because although he didn't fully trust Remus, he trusted him enough not to purposely hurt him.

It bothered Severus quite a lot to know that Lupin had seen him crying in the toilets not long ago, it bothered him that a Gryffindor, someone he wasn't close to had seen him in that state but true to his word, Lupin had not told his friends what he had seen and Severus had to be grateful for it at the least otherwise there would be more torture, more rumours and more pain to endure every day on top of the horrifying amount he received just for being alive.

Severus sighed, he listened carefully the sound of his dorm mates even breathing filtering through the air. Closing his book and stuffing it back into his bag he slipped off the bed, pulled the drapes closed around it in case someone woke up and wondered why he wasn't there and put his shoes on. Quietly he tip toed across the room and snuck out of the door shutting it silently behind him. It was time.

He hurried down the stairs and through the common room out into the dungeon corridor. It was getting much colder now and Severus shuddered at the cool air of the stone passages, it was always colder in the dungeons, sometimes in winter when the weather was really bad you could see your breath in the air, Severus put this down to the dungeons being the lowest point of the castle, the common room and dormitories were perfectly warm and comfortable, very nice in fact it was just outside in the actual dungeons where the cool air seemed forever trapped most likely due to the darkness and the fact they were under the Black lake, well some of them anyway including the Slytherin house.

Severus crept out into the entrance hall glancing up and down he snuck over and out of the main doors into the paved courtyard the night air making him shiver slightly as he swept through and out of the tunnel by the covered bridge. He turned instead of crossing it and walked behind the wall of the tunnel dropping himself down into the grass he pulled out his metal tin placing it on the ground in front of him.

Severus gazed around him for a few moments before he opened the tin and began to roll his usual spliff.

Minutes later the pulled out his wand and lit the end of it before pocketing the wand again and placing the butt to his lips he drew back on it deeply holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment feeling the familiar rush to his head he released it slowly into the air.

Severus allowed himself to relax leaning his head back against the cold stone wall resting his arms on his propped up knees he closed his eyes before taking another long draw on his joint.

Minutes passed and Severus was feeling a hell of a lot better than he did, he continued to draw on it every half minute or so enjoying the sensations wash over him, he felt calm, happy and relaxed everything seemed so much better from this point of view, it wasn't even that cold outside this evening probably the courtyard and dungeons are cooler because of the stone trapping the cold air inside.

Severus relaxed drawing on it again he held the air into his lungs before-

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

Severus' dark eyes snapped open and he turned his head to stare at the dark figure of Remus Lupin standing about two three feet away from him, his eyes wide, his light eyebrows lost in his hairline and his mouth hanging open with shock.

"LUPIN!" Severus jumped as Remus continued to stare at him, his sapphire eyes wandering from Severus' face and dilated pupils to the glowing joint in his right hand that was clearly emitting a small amount of smoke into the air, the stench of it was strong.

"Severus what are you doing?" Remus shook his head in disbelief, he thought he had seen a figure coming out here and decided to follow it in the shadows but he had no idea who it would be curiosity had definitely gotten the better of him.

Severus was quiet for a few moments, he was in no mood to argue and frankly felt too good to even care that much he had been caught out.

"What does it look like I'm doing here?" he raised a dark eyebrow at Remus who shook his head again.

"Getting yourself stoned" Remus said bluntly.

"Ten points to Gryffindor" Severus said lazily taking another drag.

Remus sighed and moved over to sit down beside the dark haired boy he brought his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms around them watching Severus closely as he stubbed out the end of the joint, placing the butt in a small packet in the tin he began to roll another.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Lupin asked wrinkling his nose slightly watching Severus roll.

"Nope, I've smoked far more than this before" Severus shrugged using his wand to light the tip of it and take a first draw on it. Holding it out to Lupin, Remus shook his head and Severus shrugged putting it to his lips again.

They sat in silence for a few minutes Severus rested his head back against the wall closing his eyes revelling in being high as he took another long draw on it.

Remus couldn't actually believe what he was seeing, Severus Snape, cold hard defensive Snape was sitting out here in the cold alone getting high, he didn't even seem to mind the fact Remus was sitting beside him watching him do it.

It was a while before Remus spoke again, he couldn't stop watching the way the moonlight softly caressed Severus' pale ivory skin, the way his long black lashes cast deep shadows across his face and the way his long ebony locks framed his delicate skin.

"Severus, why are you doing this?" Remus sighed still closely watching the other boy who shrugged.

"I don't think that's really any of your concern" he said calmly exhaling the smoke through his nose.

"Come on, you and I both know you are not the type to just do things for the hell of it, you always think about everything thoroughly in fact you think way too much into things I know this and you are not stupid, despite what you might think of me, neither am I" Remus said again and Severus opened his eyes to stare at him.

"I know you're not stupid and I never thought you were, in fact I think you have a good mind and you will do well but I'm not about to spill on my private life to a friend of Black and Potter"

Remus sighed. "I am nothing like them, you can trust me I think above all else you need someone to talk to otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here like this smoking the crap out of yourself alone"

"Ten points to Gryffindor" said Severus.

"You can trust me you know, I'm aware you find that hard I can see it in the way you behave always on the edge as if expecting an attack-"

"Did it ever occur to you Lupin, that those revolting, nasty friends of yours do attack me, they call me names, spread rumours about me, hurt me and hex me on a very regular basis" Severus began looking Remus straight in the eye.

"Yes but-"

"Did it ever occur to you that the things they do to me might have some lasting effect, that I might have feelings too and like any sane human being I can be hurt when people humiliate and degrade me in front of others, hmm?" Severus continued.

"I know what they're doing is wrong but-"

"Like when your friend Black spat in my face? How do you think it felt for someone to do something so disgusting, sickening and foul not to mention degrading to you to throw you to the ground and spit on you, to tease and torment you in front of others making you the laughing stock of the school and Mr undesirable number one?" Severus spoke calmly and Remus swallowed closing his eyes. "Or perhaps it's just that you enjoy seeing me treated worse than the slime that oozes out of the drains"

"That is not what I think at all, how can you possibly even say that?" Remus snapped his eyes snapping open flashing dangerously at Severus.

"Because unlike you, I have nobody to help me or to protect me or make me feel better, nobody to even step in and say 'this isn't right' and put a stop to this, I don't know why I'm telling you this but you seem genuine enough to know that the things your friends to do me hurt me more than you might think and this is my way of escape, this is how I cope with things" Severus' voice cracked slightly.

Remus felt a horrible pang in his chest, a lump rose into his throat and he forced it back down as quickly as he could.

"You have got to stop this, you should really see someone, report this I'll go with you if you want" Remus said slowly.

"Why are you being so nice to me, how do I know you aren't going to run off and tell the perfect purebloods about this and get me thrown out of school?" Severus' eyes narrowed again as he took another drag.

"Severus, I am offering you friendship here, I know you might not value my life or my kindness but I still value yours"

Severus stopped and stared at the boy searching his face as thoroughly as he could, Remus was offering him to be his friend and to help him, to be kind to him and at least be there for him. He wasn't sure whether or not Remus could be fully trusted at this moment in time but there was no reason as to why that couldn't be worked on if the boy was to prove himself trustworthy.

"So just, let me be your friend, we don't have to tell anyone, we can be secret friends and meet up to talk or to do homework or to just sit and do nothing it's entirely up you to but I'm offering it it's your choice whether or not you accept it" Remus shrugged slightly seeming very calm.

Severus stared at him hard.

"If you promise you won't tell anyone what you've seen tonight, anything we've discussed, if you promise not to act like a mother hen to me then I'll accept your friendship" Severus swallowed shakily, he couldn't believe what was happening it was making his head spin, either that or it was the drugs but either way Severus couldn't care less right now.

"I promise and just like last time when I found you in the toilets, I haven't and won't tell a soul as long as you tell me if there's something else going on"

"Like what?" Severus blinked.

"I don't know, but I know you're not the type to outwardly show emotion to people or to trust them without proof, you don't really have any friends Severus I just want to be there I believe in equal opportunities and I think that behind that cold hard exterior there is someone who just wants to be liked even by just a single person" Remus said sincerely.

Remus watched as Severus stubbed out the end of his joint, placing the tin back inside his pocket he sat staring at Remus.

"Prove to me I can trust you" Severus said simply and Remus nodded.

"Can we go back inside somewhere it's getting cold out here?" Remus asked and Severus nodded.

"I know some place we can go"

Remus smiled at Severus who couldn't help but smile back, the two of them walked back through the courtyard and snuck through the entrance doors closing them quietly behind them.

"This way" Severus whispered gesturing for Remus to follow him down into the dungeons corridor. Remus frowned slightly as they hurried along the passage way and stopped outside an oak door.

"What are we doing down here?" Remus whispered as Severus pulled out his wand and pointed it at the unmarked door.

"Alohomora" he said and the door clicked, opening it he pulled Remus inside quickly before closing and locking it behind them.

"Just in case anyone comes along" Severus sniffed feeling himself slowly starting to come down.

"Where are we, I don't think I've been in here before the place looks new" Remus frowned glancing around what appeared to be an unused classroom, the torches along the walls had lit themselves automatically to glow dimly so they could see.

"It's a spare classroom they don't really use apart from theory exams when the great hall is already in use that day, shame really it's quite nice in here I come to study sometimes" Severus replied glancing around the room. Remus watched as he moved over to one of the desks sitting himself down he stared at Remus. "Are you going to sit down or are you planning to just stand there and stare at me?" he raised an eyebrow at the blonde boy.

Without a word, Remus moved over to awkwardly sit beside Severus staring at him only then did he notice how pale and thin the boy looked.

"I feel like I should start the conversation, so umm, I do want to prove to you that you can trust me so I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone before, not even my friends" Remus said fidgeting his hands nervously in his lap.

Severus stared at him intrigued, if Lupin hadn't told his friends it had to either be something stupid or something very serious. "Go on"

Remus was quiet for a few moments. "I-I'm gay" he swallowed nervously and looked away.

Severus' eyebrows disappeared in his hairline he fought back the urge to allow his mouth to hang open. Remus Lupin, the Remus Lupin was gay…. He liked boys?

"Don't look too surprised" Remus laughed.

"I wasn't expecting that" Severus said still completely surprised and rather pleased it was something else they shared in common and maybe at some point Severus could share some of his thoughts with Remus about it.

"Well it's true, I like boys, well I've never done anything with a guy, or a girl either but still I do like them and I know you're gay too and you said you were a virgin so maybe you can understand that" Remus rambled quickly feeling himself blush.

Severus couldn't help but smile. "I understand completely, Lupin"

They sat in silence for a little while neither of them sure of what they should say or do next.

"You can call me Remus you know…."

"You'd want that?" Severus quirked an eyebrow at him.

Remus nodded "It just seems more, friendly and less formal, if we're going to be friends we shouldn't really call each other by our surnames"

"Alright then, Remus" Severus said quietly. "I'm pleased you told me and I think we can start to build bridges, I cannot believe you haven't told your friends"

"I was too scared to tell them, what would they say? Homo, faggot, cock sucker? Yeah I can think of worse and I don't really want to tell them just yet so can you please…. Keep it a secret?" Remus winced slightly.

"Yes" Severus said.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you"

"Is there anything else you want to ask me about or tell me?" Severus asked curiously.

"Yeah, why instead of letting the rumours circulate do you not try to stop them?" Remus frowned.

"I have tried before in the past and failed miserably at it, I can't stop them just the same as I can't stop the people doing it it's something I'm having to tolerate as best I can no matter what they say but I'm used to it so it just doesn't matter" Severus mumbled looking away.

"You shouldn't have to put up with it at all, I think you should report them from the attitude I get the teachers don't seem to know to what extent this feud is going on"

"I've tried before and I was dismissed, it just seems that they can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it whereas I only have to look at them and I'm the one in the wrong, of course the golden boys are favoured by all" Severus sighed.

"That's not true at all, you are as important as they are you are also a student at this school and you deserve more than that, it is just silly name calling and stuff but it has been going on for a long time it's getting silly now and needs an end put to it" Remus replied.

"Silly? You think all of this humiliation and this degrading nasty behaviour, the vicious rumours, threats, the things they say to me and do to me are just silly?" Severus snarled feeling anger rising up in his chest.

"No! No, I didn't mean it like that I meant the behaviour is childish, bullying is for small children fighting over their favourite colouring pencils not people our age" Remus said quickly.

"Oh yeah but they still do it and get away with it, sometimes I feel like I should just go back to my shitty home in shitty Coke worth and live a slightly less shitty life" Severus sighed angrily getting to his feet.

"No Severus-" Remus reached out to touch him but Severus stumbled something falling from his cloak pocket clattering loudly to the floor by Remus' feet.

They both stopped and stared at it.

"What's this?" Remus asked reaching to pick it up, Severus jumped forward trying to grab hold of it but it was too late Remus was already holding it in his hands, pulling the handle he pulled the blade from its sheath and stared at it, there was dried blood all over the glinting silver.

Remus' mouth fell open and Severus felt his blood run cold.

"What is this?" he stared at it his eyes flicking up to stare at a pale faced frightened looking Severus.

"It's nothing, just give it back" Severus made to snatch it but Remus held it out of his reach.

"It has dried blood on it, from what, who was bleeding?" Remus asked quickly starting to feel increasingly worried.

"I was just cutting something in potions and caught my finger" Severus lied quickly making a grab for it this time successfully pulling it from Remus' grasp.

"Then why is it in your pocket with your casual clothes and a finger bleeding could not put that amount of blood onto the blade, Severus what really happened?" Remus asked quickly.

Severus was panicking he did the only thing he could think to do. He turned on his heels and made to run but Remus was too fast, he lashed out seizing Severus roughly by the arm the dark haired boy yelped in pain and tried to pull free.

Remus froze staring into Severus' terrified face, he could see the tears welling up in his dark eyes. Remus looked down to Severus' arm he was cradling gently and slowly reached out gently taking the arm in his hands he pushed the sleeve up and the sight beneath almost made his vomit. Severus had slashes right up his wrist on both sides, some of the cuts he could tell were old, there were many scars and healing cuts but some of them were still fairly fresh, he swallowed hard.

"Severus…." He breathed looking into Severus' eyes as the tears began to fall.

Carefully, Remus reached out and took Severus' other arm in his hands holding both of the other boys hands he rolled up the other sleeve and saw exactly the same thing, turning the arm slightly he gasped and felt the hot tears brimming in his own eyes.

The words 'I am scum' were carved clearly into Severus' arm. Severus by now had tears streaming down his face, looking away he pulled slightly as though making a vague attempt to pull free but it didn't work.

Remus, unsure of what to do, did the only thing he could think of and pulled Severus into his arms hugging him gently. Severus let out a small sound and tried to wrench himself free but Remus refused to give up on his hold of the other boy only hugging him tighter.

"Severus…. Why?" Remus asked through choked tears burying his face in Severus' neck as the boy shook as the sobs let loose.

Severus hated being so weak, he hated the fact that Remus was witness to this, hated himself for showing such vile behaviour, hated Potter and Black for driving him to it but something about Remus' hug soothed him, it made him feel a little better, he had never hugged anyone before as he shakily wrapped his arms back around Remus' slim waist hugging him back.

"Because I'm scum"

Those words broke Remus' heart, his own shoulder shook and sobs racked through his crying into Severus' neck. Never in his life had he seen anything like this, he had no idea this was happening at Hogwarts, that his own friends had driven someone to this point to make him actually believe that he's not worth anything. If one thing was for sure, Remus was going to help Severus as much as he possibly could….


	4. SectumSempra

"Severus…. Severus look at me" Remus said swallowing hard, he couldn't believe what he had seen it made him feel sick the thought of someone being pushed so far they actually believed they were scum, a horrible thought crossed through Remus' mind, there were probably other carvings too.

Severus drew back slowly his eyes wet and his cheeks pink and stained with tears, he looked away determined not to show any weakness, Remus sighed, he had hoped that Severus would just break down those barriers for once and show some emotion, that way at least people may have some idea how he was feeling.

"You are not scum, okay? Why on Earth would you think that?" Remus sniffled.

"I am, I am treated worse than scum, I am treated as the lowest of the low by everyone apart from you and the people in my dormitory they treat me alright but everyone else sees me as worthless and they're right I am nothing" Severus said.

"I want you to listen to me, there is nothing worthless about you, you are a clever, kind person and you deserve much more than this" Remus said pulling Severus back into his arms. "This is all to do with Sirius, James and Peter isn't it?"

Severus nodded sadly.

"We're going to report them, you and I we will go and see Dumbledore tomorrow and tell them they are bullying-"

"NO!" Severus snapped. "No we can't tell him anything I don't want anyone to know, I don't want them to know I'm weak!" Severus whimpered trying to pull free again but Remus wasn't about to give up on him.

"You are not weak, showing emotion is not showing weakness I don't know where you learned that from but maybe if you did show a little more emotion people would know how you're feeling and leave you alone, this isn't a game, Severus, this is your life"

"I know it's my life, the one I'm going to have to put up with for Merlin knows how many more years yet before I finally drop dead and put an end to it" Severus replied.

"You shouldn't have to put up with it at all, this is wrong, you don't deserve to be treated this way and I know you haven't done anything wrong that James picks on you for no real reason apart from to satisfy his own oversized ego, we have got to report this!" Remus said quickly. "I'll come with you, we could go now but it's kind of late so if you want we can go tomorrow lunch time or evening together?"

Severus sniffed hard and frowned slightly.

"You'd really go against your friends for me?" he drew back to look Remus straight in the eye, for some form of clarification that he was being sincere about all of this, the last thing he wanted was for Remus to turn around and ditch him or laugh at him and make him feel even worse than he already did, if that was possible.

"I promise, we can go to Dumbledore, or even Slughorn and explain to him what's been happening and ask them to have a word or something if you don't want them to know in great details but I really think you should go and see Madame Pomfrey…." Remus replied looking straight into Severus' dark eyes.

"I don't want to, I don't want her to find out or to know about this, ever" Severus said quickly.

"Alright but you will clean those wounds won't you to stop them from getting infected?"

Severus nodded slowly.

"You've got to stop hurting yourself though that really has to stop, the drugs and the self-harming are not good for you at all" Remus said seriously.

"I-I can't" Severus replied.

"Of course you can, put those thing away the blade and the tin, lock them away or throw them away I'm not expecting you to dump the drugs straight away but the self-harm is a far more serious issue you have got to deal with now"

"I'll try"

"Do you promise?" Remus asked.

"I'll promise I will make the effort to stop if you swear to me you won't tell a soul, especially not the teachers or Madame Pomfrey" Severus said shakily.

"I swear, but Severus can you tell me why you don't want them to know?"

"Because I don't want them to see how weak I am, to know that I hurt myself to bleed away the pain I'm in and I don't want them to think I'm damaged or disturbed in any way" Severus replied.

"At least you're consciously aware of what would happen if they found out, they'd be keeping tabs on you and offer you guidance and help, you know they would do that which is a good thing in a way" Remus said hugging Severus slightly tighter.

"They'd treat me as if I was unwell" Severus blinked.

Remus wanted to cry out and seize him by the shoulders shaking him screaming that he was unwell but right now was neither the time nor the place to do such a thing especially after all that had happened between them it was best to leave it and let the dust settle for tonight.

The two boys stood in silence just enjoying each other's company and embrace for a little while, still reeling from the events of the evening.

Slowly they both drew apart looking each other in the eye.

"I think we should go it's getting late" Severus sighed, he was right it was approaching midnight.

"Yes, we should go back to bed before someone catches us here" Remus nodded.

"It's not likely they will but yes just in case I don't fancy getting detention from Filch again for wandering around after lights out" Severus replied with a nod.

"And- wait you got detention from Filch?" Remus asked a smile curling in the corners of his mouth and Severus bit his bottom lip nodding his head.

"Severus Snape I have learned so much about you this evening but never would I have guessed you would break the rules and creep about the castle after dark" Remus laughed making Severus blush slightly.

"You make me sound like some sort of pervert"

Remus laughed even harder.

"Not at all, just unusual, it surprises me I never would have guessed you were one for that sort of thing" Remus chuckled again.

"There are lots of things you don't know about me…." Severus mumbled and looked away.

"Well maybe sometime you'll have to tell me about them and I can share a few interesting things with you" Remus smiled.

Severus couldn't help but smile back weakly.

They crossed the room unlocking the door, Severus poked his head out checking the coast was clear before they both snuck out of the classroom.

"I'll be heading off to Gryffindor we'll meet tomorrow evening in the back of the library at eight o clock, okay?" Remus asked and Severus nodded quickly.

"That's fine by me, I'll see you then" Severus smiled and to his surprise, Remus wrapped his arms around him again in a friendly gentle hug.

"Take care" he nodded before turning and walked away down the corridor. Severus watched him go before he turned and headed back to his own dormitory feeling utterly shattered and confused.

That night Remus lay awake in bed gazing up at the ceiling, his mind was still a haze after what had happened, he had caught Severus Snape smoking drugs down by the covered bridge, then offering him friendship the boy desperately needed and finding out in a bit more detail that he self-harms actually cutting the cruel things his friends say to him into his own skin believing it was true about him.

Remus wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to get out of bed wake up his friends and beat the living day lights out of them before marching them down to Slytherin and making them kiss Snape's arse apologising for all the wrong things they said.

He wanted to pull Severus into his arms to hug him and tell him he was special and that he meant something, he wanted to hold his fragile hands and clean away his wounds, he wanted to talk with him, to help him, to stroke his hair and make him feel okay, he wanted to lean in and….

Remus' heart leapt in his chest. He wanted to kiss Severus….

Down in the Slytherin dormitories, Severus quickly changed for bed and slipped through his curtains under his bed sheets burying himself completely under them. His mind was whirring with the events, he had been caught by someone, been caught during his alone time, he felt guilty that he had been caught, stupid enough not to hear someone coming but at that moment in time he was too far gone to even care.

"At least it was Remus" he breathed. If it hadn't been then who knows what would have happened, a fight? Being marched to Dumbledore's office? Expelled? Severus shook the thoughts from his head there were more pressing matters that required his attention.

Remus was in fact proving himself to be quite the loyal trustworthy person in Severus' books, the worrying thing was that if he did decide to go against his wishes and tell someone about the self-harm, there was no way Severus could hide it if they forced him to reveal it because it was on his skin it was something he had become addicted to do, that he did for release along with the drugs because he needed some form of escape. A thought crossed his mind, what if Remus could help him and become his escape, if he really could trust the Gryffindor maybe he could vent out some of his issues to him in hopes he could understand and possibly help.

Another thought struck Severus, Remus was gay, he liked boys and that was something else they had in common that they could talk about.

Severus found himself thinking about this for longer than he had anticipated, Remus was an attractive boy his soft pale features, his sparkling blue eyes, his blonde locks, pale slender form, when Severus was hugging him he could feel he had a nice body. Severus liked the gentle tone of voice he used, the way he wasn't rough even when he grabbed for him he didn't force him or yank him to hurt him he was careful and Severus admired it.

He closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, maybe Remus would like to get a little closer to him and give him a hug more often, it certainly did help.

The next morning did not go very well, Severus was walking along to Transfiguration when three Hufflepuff seventh year boys leapt out of his way with their backs to the wall staring at him, he shook his head choosing to ignore it, hadn't been the first time in the past couple of days this happened.

Severus continued on his way to the corridor stopping outside of the classroom with the others he stood a way back from them so as not to draw attention to himself as Potter and friends approached.

"Backs to the wall boys" Potter said loudly as himself, Sirius and Peter flung themselves dramatically against the wall opposite, Remus however didn't react and just looked calmly at Severus.

"Do you know something Snivellus?" James said tauntingly.

'Oh no please not again' Severus thought his heart pumping faster in his chest as the fear began to take over.

"I don't think we ever managed to repay you for that little stunt you pulled thinking it was funny to hex my teeth" James snarled nastily, Sirius looked like Christmas had come early and was grinning maliciously beside him.

"Just leave me alone" Severus snapped taking a step backwards against the wall.

"Why should we, after attacking us when our back was turned, that's low Snape and you will pay for it" Sirius growled.

"McGonagall's coming" Remus said quickly and the two boys snapped back to attention immediately.

"Where?" James as peering down the corridor.

"I just saw her" Remus said again trying to bide some time.

James peered up the other end of the corridor right as, thankfully at that moment Professor McGonagall did appear strolling towards them the usual stern look on her face. They never did anything in front of her knowing they would be in serious trouble if they did.

"Good morning" she said unlocking the door and strolling inside the classroom, the students began to trail in after her. Severus made to move and Sirius caught him roughly by the arm squeezing it tightly.

Remus winced as he watched.

"Watch your back, Snape we're coming for you" he hissed.

"Sirius, come on, just go in!" Remus snapped trying to usher his friend into the classroom. As Remus turned around he looked over his shoulder and smiled at Severus who smiled back. At least Remus was keeping to his word.

The rest of the day passed slowly, people continued to shout 'faggot', 'queer' and 'bum boy' at him as he passed in the corridors. It wasn't an unusual thing to be gay, in fact it was quite acceptable even Dumbledore himself was homosexual and there were other gay students who had come out and were clearly in a relationship together but just because Severus was Severus he had to be bullied even more for it.

Severus was thankful when last lesson finished, he hurried back to his dormitory to sit alone for a little while. Flopping down on his bed he gazed up at the canopy.

Today hadn't actually been that horrific, people shouted abuse at him as usual, threw ink over him during potions, jumped with their backs to the walls when he passed them or generally gave him filthy looks he hadn't been humiliated today and for that he was very grateful.

One thing was worrying him though, Sirius' threat. He would definitely have to up his game if he was planning on avoiding them, if they were after him no doubt they would be hunting him down and the surprisingly good way they somehow managed to find him wherever he was unnerved him a little. He would have to be extremely careful and stick to groups of people he knew the Gryffindor's didn't like or would be much less likely to start on him when he was around. Mulciber, Avery, Evan, Regulus and the others were a good example but it would look odd if he suddenly started stalking after them constantly, he did go around with them and speak to them during the day but it wasn't a constant thing like the four Marauders had, no, Severus was going to have to be incredibly cautious even more so than usual, the look on their faces that same morning was one not to be messed with and from past experience, Severus knew better than to infuriate Sirius Black.

"What are you doing up here at this time of day?" Evan blinked opening the dormitory door looking slightly surprised to see Severus there.

Severus shrugged. "Nothing else to do"

"Don't you usually go to the library?" Evan asked shutting the door behind him.

"Sometimes but I like it up here better"

"Okay…." Evan stood staring at Severus for a while.

"Is there something you want?" Severus stared straight back at him confusedly wondering what on Earth Evan was being so suspicious about.

"No" the boy said simply and Severus stared hard at him his eyes narrowing.

"Then why are you staring at me as if I've just come down from another planet?" Severus asked his brows knitting together with confusion.

Evan remained quiet for a few moments, the corner of his mouth twitched as though he was trying not to smile and he looked away heading over to his bed. Severus stared after him and shook his head.

About ten minutes passed of Severus lounging on his bed, he could see Evan watching him closely through the corner of his eye, a smirk fighting its way across the other boys face. Severus had enough, sitting up he glared at Evan.

"What the fuck is your problem, why do you keep staring at me, what do you want?" he snapped.

To his surprise Evan burst out into fits of laughter as the dormitory door opened and the other two appeared in the doorway stopping when they saw Severus and joined in the hysterical laughter.

"What's wrong, what have I done?" Severus asked feeling himself blush awkwardly growing increasingly uncomfortable.

"Oh you haven't done anything…." Avery managed through fits of laughter literally hanging off Mulciber as he laughed.

"Then why is everyone laughing at me, what's the problem just tell me" Severus said starting to get a little upset.

"Oh mate you have to be joking right, haven't you seen for yourself?" Mulciber chuckled.

"No?" Severus looked between them suddenly feeling very worried.

Without another word, Avery lifted up the mirror from his bedside table, walked over to Severus and held it in front of him.

Severus felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

"PINK?" he exclaimed his mouth hanging open with shock and anger, how embarrassing he must have been walking around for a while like that.

"Great to see you're not colour blind" Evan shrieked with laughter at the look of shock of horror on Severus' face.

Severus' hair was still black the two partings at the front hanging down but the rest of it was bright shocking pink, almost blindingly so in fact. Someone must have hexed him when his back was turned, he did feel a horrible prickling sensation wash over him a few hours ago but he hadn't noticed until now, probably because whatever prick had done it had left some of the front black so he didn't see the pink making him look like an even bigger twat.

"Oh god, I think I've been walking around like this all afternoon" Severus groaned examining his now startling pink strands in the mirror.

"Mate you have" Evan laughed again and Severus shot him a furious glare.

Severus pulled out his wand and pointed it to his hair.

"Colovaria" he said but nothing happened. Gritting his teeth he tried again but nothing happened.

"I don't think that's working" Avery smirked plopping down on the bed in front of Severus still holding the mirror watching the other boys feeble attempts at changing his hair back to his natural colour.

"This is so fucking annoying" Severus growled staring at his angry pale reflection in the mirror, the bright colour doing nothing for his complexion apart from making him look even worse than he had done before.

"Do any of you know how to reverse this?" he asked looking around the room, the others shook their heads and he sighed.

"How the hell am I supposed to go out looking like this?" Severus said angrily tugging at his hair.

"You could always wear a hat" Evan suggested.

"Or put your hood up" Avery said.

"Or shave off Hagrid's beard and fashion yourself a nice wig" Mulciber laughed and Severus glared at him furiously a vein throbbing in his temple.

"I think I'd rather have pink hair than hair that looks like an old man's pubes" Severus cringed and the other three roared with laughter.

"Old man pubes, Snape you are funny" Avery laughed hysterically slapping his knee with his spare hand.

Severus fought back the urge to laugh and soon managed over the thought he would have to go down to dinner like this, maybe he could skip dinner and just stay up here all evening, but no that wasn't possible he hadn't eaten since yesterday's dinner time, he had plenty to drink but no food what so ever so he really had ought to go unless he wanted to collapse.

Severus groaned. Then he would be meeting Remus this evening in the library what on Earth was he going to do.

So about half an hour later the four boys headed down to the great hall, Severus' hair covered by the hood of his cloak, a few people walked past and smirked obviously having seen the new style from earlier on, either that or they just found his general appearance amusing which most of them did anyway without the shocking pink do.

Walking into the great hall he sat between his friends and began eating a large portion of hot chips covered in salt and vinegar listening to his friends conversations mostly about what they were planning to do during the upcoming Christmas holidays, they were all planning to go home which left the dormitory free for Severus' use and he could lounge around happily doing whatever he liked, he always loved Christmas at school purely for the fact that hardly anyone else stayed and he would be able to relax and enjoy his time for a little while provided James and Sirius did not stay, usually Sirius went to James for Christmas and the other two went home.

Severus couldn't help but glance over at the Gryffindor table through his large hood, he discreetly watched Remus talking with his friends laughing with them. Remus looked up catching his gaze for a moment flashing a tiny smile before he continued to speak. When Remus looked back over he mouthed the words 'eight o clock' to him and Severus nodded.

After dinner, Severus headed back up to the dormitory with his friends ignoring the way Sirius and James shouted after him but thankfully didn't do anything, most probably because he was in a large group with his dorm mates.

"Off to have a gang bang boys?" James shouted as the four Marauders headed towards the stairs.

The group of Slytherin students turned around looks of disgusts on their faces.

Remus looked to his friends and rolled his eyes shaking his head visibly.

"Bet you'd like to see that wouldn't you, Potter" Mulciber spat nastily.

"No thanks Snivellus' face is enough to make anyone sick" James snapped back.

"Hey Regulus, I knew you swung for blokes but I didn't think you were into beastiality" Sirius laughed and Regulus looked like he was about to punch his brother out.

"Better watch what you say Sirius, that girl I hear you were with the other day is more of a man than you are" Regulus retorted and the others started to laugh.

"Don't be so jealous just because you're not getting any little brother" Sirius smirked.

"I'd rather not be getting any than be caught with a hermaphrodite" Regulus laughed.

Sirius by now looked furious.

"Come on Padfoot, let's leave these wankers to it" James grinned slinging his arm around Sirius' shoulders.

Severus watched as the four of the stalked off, his friends turning to continue making their way to the dungeons grumbling about Gryffindor idiots.

Severus watched as Remus turned and looked over his shoulder waving at him before they both hurried off after their own friends.

A few hours passed and Severus was growing all the more excited, changing into his casual clothes a pair of dark jeans and a plain black shirt he pulled his cloak on over his hair.

"Where are you off to?" Avery asked looking up from his Herbology homework.

"Library" Severus replied swinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Fair enough, see you later" Avery waved as Severus left the dormitory. He was feeling both nervous and excited for meeting with Remus again, from the looks Remus had given him today and the friendly gestures, Severus was feeling pretty good about it.

He walked hurriedly out of the dungeons, up the many winding staircases and didn't slow his pace at all until he reached the library. Walking inside he headed straight through the long enormous rows of books heading towards the back table where they had sat last time.

The library was huge, books floated around in the air stacking themselves moving around, huge great piles of them sat on the floor in places or on the ends of desks. The book cases were towering high above with ladders to reach rows upon rows were filling the room. At this time of evening the library was pretty much empty apart from the odd few students towards the front and Madame Pince sitting at her desk writing as usual.

As Severus walked through the last row of bookcases he was surprised to see Remus already sitting at the desk.

"Hello" he smiled as Severus approached and took a seat next to him.

"Evening" Severus smiled back suddenly feeling very nervous.

"Are you cold?" Remus frowned slightly staring him straight in the face.

"No, why?" Severus blinked confusedly.

"It's just you have your hood up" Remus pointed nodded at the large hood completely covering Severus' hair and most of his face, shading it into darkness.

"Oh umm that's because something kind of embarrassing has happened with my hair…." Severus averted his eyes awkwardly.

"Oh what, can I see?" Remus asked curiously.

"Don't laugh, okay?" Severus asked a slight flush appearing across his face.

"Come on Severus just let me see" Remus pouted slightly and Severus swallowed, he had never noticed before but Remus was actually quite cute especially when he did things like that.

Slowly he reached up and lifted the hood down the look on Remus' face was as though he was fighting the urge to laugh or to stop his jaw from dropping to the floor.

"Oh…. Dear…." Remus said staring blankly at Severus' outrageously coloured hair.

"I think I've been walking around like this all afternoon" Severus cringed, the blush on his face deepening.

"Why haven't you put it back to normal?" Remus asked confusedly.

"Because I can't, I've tried Colovaria and it doesn't work" Severus replied feeling the blush spreading even further as Remus reached out and gently fingered some of the vibrant pink hair through his finger staring at it.

"Do you want me to sort it for you?" Remus asked with a smile letting go of Severus' hair.

"You know how?"

Remus nodded. "Hanging around with Sirius has taught me more than how to be a trouble maker, it has also taught me to do extensive research on hex reversal methods" Remus spoke pulling out his wand and pointing it directly at Severus' hair.

The boy shrank back a look of terror washing over his face. Severus was always wary when people pointed their wands anywhere near him after the incidents he had before it was just a natural reflex to shy away and get out of the line of fire so he didn't get hurt or humiliated as usual

"It's okay I'm not going to hurt you" Remus smiled and then muttered something under his breath his blue eyes focusing on the shocking pink locks.

A tingling sensation washed over Severus' scalp and Remus tucked his wand back into his cloak pocket a smile on his face.

Reaching up shakily, Severus pulled a chunk of his hair forward to examine it closely and surprisingly his hair was back to being jet black. He smiled.

"Thank you"

"Don't mention it, so how are you today?" Remus asked kindly.

"Not so bad I guess, I've had people leaping against walls, shouting abuse at me and someone threw what I think was milkshake all over me today" Severus sighed starting to relax slightly.

"Are you alright now though?" Remus asked his brows furrowing with concern.

"I guess" Severus shrugged.

"About last night, if the conversation starts to make you uncomfortable then we can stop and talk about something else until you feel right to speak openly about it but have you…. You know, hurt yourself since?" Remus asked carefully looking Severus straight in the eye.

"Today? No, but I will be honest and tell you that I want to" The boy said simply.

Remus swallowed and closed his eyes in a long slow blink.

"May I ask why you feel you need to do this, what makes you want to inflict such damage to yourself?" Remus asked calmly.

Severus was quiet for a few moments before he replied.

"Because physical pain takes away the emotional pain, when I cut myself it's like it released all the pent up hatred and sadness inside me it makes me feel relief like I'm releasing the pressure that's build and I can bleed away all the filth in my blood" he replied.

"There is no filth in your blood, Severus, I know people have told you otherwise for far too long but you are not filthy, you are not worthless and you are certainly not stupid, you really have to stop hurting yourself" Remus replied watching the sadness flicker over the Slytherin's face.

"It's something I can't stop very easily but that doesn't mean I won't, I've been doing it for so long now it's quite normal to me I guess you could say it's addictive"

"Does it actually make you feel better?" Remus asked curiously.

"Yes, for a little while at least" Severus shrugged casually.

Remus felt as though he wanted to cry for this boy, he had always been a compassionate child and always took other people's feelings into consideration. He had always thought that Severus was okay he would dust himself off and storm off in a mood before the next hexing match began he didn't realise how deeply this was affecting him, the way he talked his body language and his tone of voice spoke to Remus in itself that Severus was psychologically damaged by this, his traits the more Remus observed him were as though this was normal, his quick reactions and sharp tongue, he was used to this. A thought crossed Remus' mind, Severus didn't know any other way of living but this.

"Do you still do it during the summer holidays when you're at home?" Remus asked quickly the words leaving his mouth before he had a chance to stop them.

Severus nodded slowly.

"Yes, I do, I need to"

"Why, you aren't in school you're away all the abuse and-"

Severus shook his head a very serious expression crossing over his face.

Remus' heart plummeted through his chest. This went way further than playground bullying, this went back to home too.

"Is that something you're comfortable with talking about?" Remus asked in a quiet voice.

"I-I will if…. If you want to hear it…." Severus replied slowly.

Remus nodded. "Yes I want to"

Severus took a deep breath. "Since I was a small child my parents have always been very poor, we have never had much money, we have a house a little terraced house on the street Spinners End of Coke worth, it's a pretty run down industrial area where we live, my mother is a pureblood witch, my father a Muggle" Severus began staring down at his hands in his lap. "When I was five one day my father came home, he told my mother he had lost his job, anyway this escalated into a violent row I watched my mother and father going at it for over an hour before they calmed down, my mother ended up with a black eye and my father a heavy nose bleed, he had stormed out after that and returned three days later, as it turns out he had been going from public house to public house drinking himself stupid and when he did come home he was in an awful state, my mother had accused him of having an affair which as it turned out he didn't and she tried to throw him out of the house but it only ended in another violent argument" Severus continued slowly.

"From then on my father acquired a drinking problem, he used most of the little money we had to buy alcohol and I remember that he would sit by the fire and drink himself into an awful state, my mother had to take him to the hospital on several occasions because he had drank himself unconscious, but he is still alive and he is still drinking heavily" Severus continued. "This brought more violent arguments about which steadily grew worse until my father…. Started beating me too, I would always sit on my mums lap and she would hug me whilst she cried but a year or two later she stopped doing it, money was tight enough as it was and my mother used to give me some of her old clothing and some of my father's old clothes they didn't want anymore because they couldn't afford anything, they still struggle to pay for my school things but they have a year to save up each time and I'm at least thankful for that even if most of my stuff is old" he said with a slight shrug. Remus swallowed.

"But anyway the arguments grew worse, they started to pay me less and less attention I didn't always get dinner every night or have a bath, my father would take his anger out on my mother and sometimes he would turn on me beating me quiet badly I would always hide in my room and cry, I had no other relatives, the neighbours didn't care this was the usual thing in my area nobody at all cared and then when I was nine years old I met Lily, I had been watching her and her sister playing together and realised she was a witch" Severus said glancing up to look Remus straight in the face and was surprised to see tears welling up in his eyes.

"Remus…."

"Go on, I'd like to hear more" he sniffed slightly trying to blink away the tears.

"When I realised she was a witch I thought it was great because there was another person who lived close by, although in a much better area with a nicer family, who was also magical, we used to sit by the river for hours and talk and practice doing simple magic together it was great fun and for once I had a friend who I could play with and stay out of my house during the day only having to go back at night, her sister on the other hand wasn't very nice to me but I could deal with that she was just a jealous Muggle" Severus shrugged. "When it was time to go to Hogwarts together it was so exciting, my mother had sat in my bed with me at night hugging me and stroking my hair and telling me all about school and what it would be like she made it out to be some amazing thing where everything would be perfect" he continued. "And so came September first 1971 and we boarded the train with high hopes, and that is where the problems began as you might already be aware" Severus glanced up at Remus who nodded slowly.

"Yes I know, so what about when you first came here? I remember the part about the train" Remus asked still fighting back tears. "Why were you so desperate to be in Slytherin?"

"Mainly because I respected my mother and her family so much, they were purebloods and I so wanted to be a part of that, the house nearly all of them were in was Slytherin and my mother was too I just wanted to be like her and the family I had never met" Severus replied as tears began to form in his own eyes.

"When I first came here everything was alright although I did have the odd problem with James and Sirius calling me names, shouting things at me and trying to hex me, luckily I had snuck some old books of my mother's which had hexes in them so I knew how to handle them which I think is where the dark arts thing triggered itself from, yes I will admit I am intrigued by them but I'm not a fanatic" Severus continued staring back down at his hands. "As the year went on it got progressively worse and by the second year arrived things were starting to turn nastier, as you know they would call me names, hex me, throw things at me, shout abuse at me, bang into me and stuff I thought it would maybe wear off with time although I did often lock myself in the toilets and cry then as third year came along everything go so much worse they would torture me every day I would cry myself to sleep at night because they hurt me so much and I started to feel low, I tried many different things to help but nothing worked, and now as fourth years nothing everything is getting worse, you saw what Black did to me he spat in my face, the things they say to me, spread about me, hurt me physically and emotionally, I live in constant fear that they are going to attack me and they do I'm always right, they never stop and they never will I feel as though I'm drowning in it and I have no escape and one day it will just finish me off" Severus rambled quickly taking a deep breath afterwards.

"Things are more serious that what you're saying, Severus, you are hurting yourself, you are upset, you are depressed and you are taking drugs to try and relieve the pressure on you we have to think of long term what is going to solve this" Remus said smartly.

"It gets worse seeing as my parents are of no help, they don't give a damn about me I have to wear my school uniform during the summer I only have a few items of clothing that when they do give me money I save up for and buy whatever I can just so I've got something that fits me I always buy them too big so I grow into them that's what my mother does with my uniform and that's alright but people tease me for it it's like they think I don't know my clothes are shitty, or my trousers are far too short or my shoes are old and my books are damaged but I do know and it hurts but at least I have something of my own" Severus sighed. "My parents barely even ask me about school especially my father he hates magic, but then again he hates everything including me he always calls me names and beats me even during the summer he was doing it and threatening to knock me out just because he was drunk and I can't cope with it anymore" Severus whined putting his head in his hands and tugging on his hair.

Remus felt the tears start to trickle down his supple pale cheeks as he carefully pulled Severus into his arms feeling the boy tense slightly under his touch but soon relax his face resting against Severus' chest.

"I know this gesture probably doesn't mean much to you but I think that a hug can help tremendously" Remus said slowly feeling Severus wrap his arms around him in return.

"It does mean a lot to me, nobody has ever hugged me properly before and it is kind of relaxing" Severus sniffed. "I always thought that simple gestures sometimes meant more than words and as it turns out, I was right"

"Very right indeed" Remus replied.

The two boys remained in silence for about twenty minutes just hugging and enjoying each other's company in silence before Remus slowly pulled back.

"Let's go to Dumbledore, we have got to report this"

Severus' face paled visibly, he felt his blood run cold. He opened his mouth to speak but Remus shook his head silencing him.

"Before you say anything you did agree to go and report this, if not Dumbledore we can go to Slughorn or McGonagall, anybody you feel comfortable with and explain the situation, you can go into as much detail as you're comfortable with just to at least make them aware of the situation that is' not a silly spat" Remus said quickly.

Severus pondered on this for a few minutes before he nodded.

"Okay, let's go"

The two of them got slowly to their feet and left the library heading back towards the staircases to go and see a teacher.

"Who are we going to see?" Remus asked as they strolled along the corridor together.

"I'd rather it was Slughorn, Dumbledore has never seemed very fond of me and Slughorn is my head of house so I guess he would be the best bet" Severus shrugged.

"Okay that's fine" Remus nodded.

"Are you sure you don't mind walking with me, what if someone sees, your friends? Aren't you embarrassed?" Severus asked quickly looking up at the slightly taller boy who chuckled.

"My friends are in the common room doing god knows what and I don't give a damn if anyone sees we aren't doing anything wrong, it's not illegal to talk to you" Remus smiled back.

"Oh okay" Severus said quietly as they walked out onto the stairs and began to descend through to the bottom floor.

"So what are your plans for Christmas, only two weeks until December" Remus asked.

"Oh I'm staying here as usual, I don't go home unless I have to which is the summer, you?" he asked glancing at Remus.

"I'll be staying here this year too, my parents are going to visit relatives and I really can't be bothered with the travelling Christmas is never fun with the other relatives anyway so it's either stay here or go with them" Remus chuckled and Severus nodded.

Severus was trying to hold back the happiness he felt, Remus was going to be here for Christmas too, maybe they could spend some of it together and he wouldn't be so lonely, every other year he had been on his own for Christmas and it looks like his luck might have finally started to change.

"Maybe if you're on your own and I am too we could spend it together" Remus suggested.

"I'd like that" Severus nodded as they walked along the dungeon corridor finally stopping outside of Slughorn's office.

With a quick glance at Severus, Remus raised his fist and knocked on the solid oak door.

"Come in" Slughorn called from inside.

Remus glanced to Severus looking down at him steadily. "Ready?" he asked calmly watching Severus shift from one foot to the other nervously.

"Ready" he nodded and Remus pushed the door open. They both walked inside shutting it tightly behind them as the aging potions master sitting behind his desk looked up at them a surprised expression on his face at seeing them both here together.

"Ah Remus, Severus, what can I do for you this evening?" he asked gesturing for them to take a seat in the two chairs sitting in front of his desk.

"Well sir, we've got something we feel you should be made aware of, it is Severus' problem and it is starting to get a bit out of hand" Remus worded himself carefully as they took their seats, he stared at Severus who was looking nervously down at his hands in his lap.

"Yes, well go on Severus, what is it you wanted to say?" Slughorn asked frowning slightly at the dark haired boy.

"Well, I've been having some problems with a few people picking on me, they call me names, shout things at me, throw things at me and hex me and I just want to make you aware that it's happening if you don't already know" Severus spoke without looking up, he was always quite shy when it came to the teachers and even more so when he was forced to talk about personal problems he would rather keep away from them.

"I see and can I have the names of these students please?" Slughorn asked picking up his quill and pulling a spare piece of parchment towards him dipping the quill in the ink well he paused looking at the young boy.

Severus mumbled incoherently and looked away.

"Sorry?" Slughorn asked but Severus didn't answer.

"James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew" Remus said.

Slughorn's eyebrows shot into his hairline, shy, quiet Remus Lupin was telling on the three boys he was closest to, the three boys he spent every day with and would cause trouble and laugh with, they were incredibly close and Slughorn was shocked that Remus was not only associating with Severus having thought that they couldn't stand one another but handing over his friends names in order to protect this boy?

"Very well then, has this been going on long?" he asked trying not to sound too surprised. He knew something was going on between them a feud of sorts but he didn't know to what extent.

"Since about first year but it's getting worse now" Severus replied looking up into the older man's face.

"I see, well I can keep an eye on it for you if you want if it gets any worse let me know and I will pass this message along to Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall and they can have a word, bullying is unacceptable behaviour" Slughorn replied firmly, the two boys nodded.

"Is that everything?" he asked looking from one to the other.

Remus looked like he wanted to say something but when Severus caught his eye he seemingly decided against it.

"Yeah, that's everything" the blonde said quietly.

"Very well, I'll see both of you in lesson tomorrow" Slughorn nodded.

"Professor, could you not tell anyone what we've said here I don't want them to know it was us who said anything, especially not Remus because he's friends with them" Severus asked worriedly.

"As you wish, I won't mention anything" the Professor said calmly.

"Thank you" Remus said as they got to their feet and left the office. Once outside Severus let out a long hard sigh.

"See that was easier than you thought it would be wasn't it?" Remus asked in the cold corridor.

"It was indeed, I do feel slightly better now" Severus admitted with a short nod.

"I wish you would have said something more it was quite vague but then again it's a start it's better than not saying anything at all" Remus smiled resting a hand on Severus' shoulder.

"I'm not comfortable saying anything more to them just yet, I'd rather I kept my feelings between just us two so promise you won't say anything to anyone about me" Severus said.

"I promise, you know you can trust me I wouldn't be this nice to you, help you and keep it to myself, remember when I found you crying in the toilet? Well that hasn't been spread around and neither has anything else if so you would know about it by now people would be talking so I hope you are learning to put your faith in me, I hate to see people upset especially you, Severus" Remus smiled and Severus felt his heart rise in his chest an odd fluttering sensation in his stomach.

"Thank you, it means a lot" Severus smiled.

Remus took a step closer to Severus staring down at him a light blush glowing on the apples of his cheeks a few strands of blonde hair falling in front of his eyes.

Severus felt hot all over all of a sudden and couldn't control the blush that was crawling up his neck spreading to the tips of his ears.

"You're blushing" Remus stated in a low voice a smile curling in the corners of his mouth.

Unable to think of anything else to say, Severus said the first thing that came to mind.

"No I'm not"

He cringed at his own words.

Remus let out a short laugh. "Yes you are, don't look so worried Severus, Its nothing to be ashamed of"

Severus felt the heat on his face radiating as he looked up into Remus' handsome face he could feel himself shaking slightly with nerves. What was happening to him, he wasn't usually like this, why was he so hot all over and felt so strange?

"I-I umm" Severus tried desperately to think of a usual clever, sarcastic or intelligent comment to say but his brain just wasn't functioning properly.

"In fact I think it's kind of cute" Remus blurted out before he could stop himself, the blood racing into his cheeks sending them up in flames, Severus stared wide eyed at him before blushing even further.

Both boys chuckled slightly and looked away from one another.

"I should probably get going it's almost curfew" Remus spoke finally lightening the air around them.

"Yeah before we get in trouble" Severus nodded meeting Remus' gaze. Severus felt Remus edge slightly closer again.

Remus swallowed looking Severus straight in the eye both boys fell silent only the sound of their breathing could be heard in the stillness around them.

Very slowly as if some force was pulling him forward, Remus began to lean in slowly his heart pounding in his chest.

Severus' eyes widened momentarily, Remus was leaning in closer to him. Slowly he dropped his eyelids so they were half lidded so he could see where he was going before leaning in very slowly.

Closer and closer they moved at an unbearably slow pace yet too quickly at the same time their lips were barely an inch apart and Severus could feel Remus' warm breath against his lips when-

CRASH

Both boys sprang back their heads snapping to attention as they gazed off down the corridor, moments later a loud hysterical laugh sounded and Peeves the Poltergeist came whizzing down the corridor.

"WEEEEE!" he shouted shooting past the two boys, footsteps came thundering after him as Filch the caretaker came charging down the corridor his face full of rage.

He stopped staring at the two boys.

"Go on get off to your dorms before lights out or I'll throw you both in detention, you'll be hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons" Filch shouted as he hurried on past them.

They watched as Filch's back disappeared down the other end of the corridor, hearing him shouting after the irritating ghost.

"Peeves! I'll have you this time!"

"We should probably do as he says" Remus said quickly. "I don't fancy being thrown in detention" he looked back to Severus catching his eye briefly.

"Yeah I needn't add that to the list of my problems" Severus cringed slightly and Remus nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" Remus smiled tilting his head to one side.

"Yes, see you tomorrow" Severus smiled back.

Remus reached out and pulled Severus into his arms in a warm hug, Severus wrapped his arms around Remus' waist again hugging slightly tighter taking in every scent and every curve he could feel. Remus smelled Earthy but very clean too like summer.

They drew back slowly and Severus' breath hitched in his throat as he felt a warm pair of lips press against his cheek holding a kiss there for a few seconds before Remus pulled back blushing. Severus's face was on fire his mouth hung open slightly.

"I should get going before Filch sees me" Remus gestured down the corridor and Severus nodded.

"Goodnight Remus" Severus smiled gently his eyes sparkling happily for once in the dim dungeon lighting.

"Night Severus" Remus winked before turning around and walking down the corridor. Severus watched until he was completely out of sight before he sighed and headed back to the dormitory.

His mind was alive with thoughts, Remus had tried to kiss him, kiss him on the lips his first kiss in fact. Severus wondered if Remus had ever kissed someone properly before or if it was his first too, Remus was a nice looking boy he probably had plenty of admirers but he had said that nobody knew he was gay. Severus shook the confusing thoughts out of his head as he walked back into the dormitory a smile on his face.

"You're back late" Mulciber yawned coming out of the bathroom in his underwear as Severus closed the dormitory door behind him.

"Yeah, got caught up with my homework" Severus lied still feeling slightly hot and flustered as he made his way over to his bed not meeting anyone's gaze.

"Same old Snape" Evan smirked.

Severus dropped his bag to the floor before heading into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his hands before heading back to his bed.

"I'm going to sleep now" Severus stated climbing onto his bed and pulling the drapes closed around with without even waiting for a reply. The sounds of the other three boys calling their replies to him filtered through the thick green drapes.

He changed his clothes to his long grey nightshirt looking away as the scars and slashes and words were revealed as he pulled back his clothing. Covering himself with his nightshirt he pulled his underwear off and dropped them to the end of the bed before slipping comfortably under the covers.

Tonight had actually been so good, he had gotten to spend more time with Remus, gotten to know him a little more, been proven he could trust him, informed Slughorn and almost kissed him. Severus' heart fluttered at the thought and he closed his eyes, the image of Remus' soft handsome face moving closer to his own appeared in front of him, his supple rounded cheeks flushed, his golden hair flopping in front of his closed bright blue eyes, his pink lips parted ever so slightly ready to kiss him.

Severus bit his bottom lip letting a long sigh out through his nose, he subconsciously moved his hips a little under the covers feeling himself slowly starting to grow hard at the thought of Remus' warm sweet lips pressed against his own, his pink rosy cheeks positively glowing, his gentle kind hands taking his own and gently caressing over his skin moving across his torso.

Severus was lost in thought, the lights going out brought his attention back and he slipped a hand under the bed covers, it trailed along the soft material of his nightshirt before slipping under the hem and crawling gently between his legs cupping his sensitive plump testicles and then slowly moving up so his fingers curled around the thick shaft of his throbbing member.

Severus let out a soft groan as he began to stroke himself keeping his eyes closed he pictures Remus slowly dropping his clothes to the floor exposing more of that smooth skin down his slender neck over his angular shoulders down his torso. Severus bit back a moan as he pictured Remus removing his trousers standing in just his underwear clinging to his backside. Severus imagined reaching out and touching his rounded backside squeezing it running his hands over it.

He groaned picking up his pace, as he imagined Remus dropping those tight pants to the floor, moving forward to kiss him and his hands crawling between Severus' legs, stroking his member, pushing past his balls and drawing a line along his perineum before pushing against his-

Severus buried his face in his pillow stifling a moan as he came into his awaiting hand surprised at the intensity of it all.

Moments later he collapsed onto his stomach panting for breath his mind hazy feeling very calm and relaxed.

Meanwhile up in the Gryffindor dormitories….

Remus was biting his bottom lip so hard his eyes clenched tightly shut as he fisted his erection furiously, he pictured Severus' naked boy writhing and moaning beneath his touch, tracing his tongue along the contours of his body, his hands delving lower as he pictures pale thighs spreading to allow him entrance.

Remus gasped biting down on his knuckles to keep himself quiet as he came hard onto his stomach.

Collapsing back against the covers breathing heavily he gazed up at the canopy red faced and flushed he was definitely starting to fall for Severus.

A few weeks had passed since they almost kissed in the dungeons and Severus and Remus had been meeting on a regular basis, they would sit in the library and do their homework together, when the weather wasn't too cold they would go for a late night walk of the grounds for a talk or they would just hang about in deserted corridors together and mess around, one evening they had even had a playful duel neither of them ended up getting hurt during it and had both agreed (after a lengthy debate on Severus' part) that it would have to be a tie. Things were definitely starting to look up in some aspects especially seeing as Severus couldn't take his eyes off of Remus, he would find himself distracted during lessons watching the blonder boy, he would blush every time their arm or legs accidentally brushed together and he even felt brave enough to throw in a harmless flirt every now and then, neither of them had mentioned the almost kiss that happened a few weeks ago, both too shy to say anything. Even Severus had to admit he was falling for Remus' charms, his honesty and the trust he showed him.

But things weren't all sunshine and roses, oh no, the tormenting was getting worse. Just the other day it was that Sirius Black and James Potter had managed to steal the essay Severus had written for potions which had totalled to about three feet in length and burnt the whole thing right in front of him before Slughorn had a chance to mark it and now Severus had to re write the entire thing, the boys did receive detention although there was no way to prove it was actually them who had done it.

The rumours were circulating even further than usual, now people were saying that Severus watched the other boy's in the bath and would masturbate over them, that he was practicing dark curses in the Slytherin dorms with his 'death eater' friends, that he was planning on joining the dark lord and brewing dangerous potions in secret at night threatening to poison half the student body. All of which, were untrue.

It was a few hours after Severus had a blazing row with the Marauders minus Remus who had actually tried to stop them. He had been walking back through the entrance hall when they had cornered him by the statue they thought it would be funny to make him dance by repeatedly shooting stinging hexes at his legs, unable to defend himself Severus had cried. They had tormented him, called him vile names and before they turned to leave he was lying a crumpled mess on the floor, Remus shouting in the background but his friends completely ignoring him and Sirius had once again leaned in and spat in his face in front of an enormous crowd of students, normally they would have called it disgusting if it was any other student but because it was Severus, they called it heroic saying he deserved it just for being alive. Feeling lower than ever, Severus retreated to hide away in the dormitory for a little while and cry.

Severus sat in the Slytherin common room, it was pretty much empty that lunch time he had just eaten and had gone back to the common room to do a bit of light reading.

Severus' mind began to wander after some minutes of reading through his boring History of Magic text book and he couldn't stop it from moving onto someone, a very special someone. Yes it was true, Severus was falling fast for Remus' charms, his handsome features, his light happy laugh, his adorable smile and the way he was so kind and caring, so gentle with him all at the same time.

Another thing that Severus really admired about the boy was that Remus wasn't a stupid student far from it he was very clever especially in Defence Against the Dark Arts which was Severus' second favourite subject partly because he was good at it but mostly because he had a strong interest in the beauty of the dark arts, their teacher had pulled him aside after lesson once when he was reading from a text book and was believed to have an odd caress in his voice which had upset some of the other students, in other words, James perfect Potter who's ears are far too delicate to hear about such things and pureblood perfection Sirius Black who joined in with him in the protest.

In fact, there wasn't anything Severus disliked about Remus he was genuine, trustworthy, caring, decent, kind, gentle, funny, smart he was an all-rounder and Severus found him so easy to get along with and the bonus part of it was that Remus seemed to like him too.

Severus sighed checking the time quickly, about ten minutes until lesson. Packing his things into his school bag he headed out of the common room and along the corridor. He walked into the boy's toilet just a little way down the large corridor and sighed. It was empty, thank god.

Moving over to the urinals, Severus opened the front of his trousers, pulled himself out and began to urinate. He never usually would actually use a toilet if there were other people in there mainly because he was frightened that if he did they would pick on him, hurt him or humiliate him so he chose to either wait it out, walk all the way back to the dormitory or find another toilet.

He finished, closing his trousers he headed over to the sinks and began to wash his hands his thoughts drifting to the upcoming work scheduled for the potions lesson. They would be doing practice exam questions today which Severus was quite happy about to be honest he had been doing a fair amount of reading and revision over the past few days and was eager to put it to good use.

The door opened just across the room but he didn't pay it much attention, drying his hands on a piece of paper towel he tossed it into the bin and stepped out from behind the sinks.

"Well, well, well look who we have here"

Severus froze his blood running cold at the sound of that horribly familiar voice.

"Snivellus" Sirius Black smirked nastily and Severus swallowed his hand slowly making its way down to his cloak pocket to reach for his wand.

"What are you doing in here Snivelly, I didn't think greasy bags of shit like you ever bothered to wash your hands?" James smirked crossing his arms over his chest. It was just the two of them, maybe Severus could handle that at least they didn't have Peter to encourage them any further.

"Grow up, Potter" Severus said stiffly straightening himself up trying to show he wasn't afraid of them, inside he was shaking like a leaf.

"Ooh I see you still have the manners of an animal, I thought we taught you some respect, did you forget our little lesson by any chance?" Sirius said in a voice far too calm for Severus' liking. He swallowed and shook his head.

"No I think I manage to recall how you spat like a filthy camel, an untrained animal soiling all over the place" Severus said hotly glaring at them through his cold black eyes.

Sirius' eyes flashed dangerously for a moment before he smirked at James.

"It just doesn't seem to learn does it?" Sirius laughed and James nodded thoughtfully for a moment.

"Come on Padfoot, you really expect Snape to learn anything about respect, look at the state of him he doesn't even wash therefore he has no self-respect, if he can't respect his own greasy body there's no way he can respect others without a good teaching first" James smiled back.

Severus' hand slowly made its way into his pocket clutching at his wand ready to rip it out at any moment, he was frightened he didn't like the way they were talking to one another it was as if he wasn't there or was chained up and they were about to torture him or something.

"Do you know something, Padfoot, I think we should give Snivelly here a little reminder of how to respect his superiors" James smirked his hazel eyes turning their attention back to Severus who visibly tensed.

"Why Prongs, I think you are right" Sirius grinned maliciously.

The two boys advanced on him and in an instant Severus' wand was out, he raised it above his head his mouth opened to call a curse.

"Don't think so, Expelliarmus!" Sirius shouted ripping his own wand from his pocket and firing it at Snape.

Severus' wand shot out of his hand and clattered away as both boys continued to advance.

Severus looked helplessly to the side, there was no time he couldn't retrieve his wand. He took several steps back his arms coming up to shield his face, his heart hammering in his chest as he bumped against the wall behind him.

"Stay away from me!" Severus snapped but the two boys started to laugh.

"We have no intentions of letting you escape now, Snape" James grinned as Sirius lashed out grabbing Severus by his hair, the boy yelped in pain trying to pull free and Sirius laughed again.

"Don't think your oily hair will slick you up and let you out of my grip you filthy bag of shit, we're going to teach you this lesson you will never forget, make sure you learn how much of a waste of air you really are, you are scum, you are no better than the grime that sits around the toilets, you are lower than that Snivellus" Sirius spat their faces mere inches apart.

Severus was shaking with fright he reached up and grabbed Sirius' wrist in a helpless attempt to save himself, he didn't know what to do he was starting to panic and tremble with fright as the two boys burst out laughing again.

"What's the matter, haven't got anything clever to say for your nasty little self today or perhaps you agree with us, you already know how meaningless your existence is" James smirked.

"Fuck off and leave me alone" Severus stammered feeling the tears welling up in his eyes, the painful grip on his hair burning at his scalp.

"No Snape, we won't leave you alone, if you didn't exist then you would be free but unfortunately for the entire planet you're still here wallowing in your own filth" James snarled.

"Yes now time for your little lesson, you filthy piece of shit" Sirius shouted.

Before Severus had registered what was happening Sirius' fist had collided with his nose a horrific crunching sound broke through the air as blood spurted from Severus' nose, he shrieked in pain as Sirius' fist collided with his cheek knocking him out of the boy's grasp freeing his hair.

Severus fell back against the cold stone wall behind him shaking with terror and pain as James' hand slapped harshly across his face, Sirius aimed another boy to his stomach and Severus dropped to the ground tears streaming down his face as they laid into him punching, kicking, scratching and beating him senseless anywhere they would reach.

Severus was shaking violently, tears streaming down his face as he cried trying to helplessly shield himself wishing someone, anyone would come along and help him to stop the beating as they continued to pound him.

Their fists at his face, his chest, and stomach, yanking his hair, slapping him hard, kicking him anywhere they could.

"Greasy"

"Death eater"

"Wanker"

"Unloved little monster"

"Waste of space"

"Abomination"

"Should just drop dead"

Their cruel words rang through the air black spots were dancing in front of Severus' eyes.

Finally the endless beating came to a stop and the two boys towered over him whimpering and trembling on the floor covered in blood and tears he blinked up at them trying to force his vision back into focus.

"Look at the state of him Prongs, he's filthy, do you think anyone would notice if he got just a little bit dirtier?" Sirius spoke a nasty turn in his voice Severus could barely see them through the blood and tears his head was spinning dangerously after the brutal beating.

"I doubt it Padfoot, what do you have in mind?" James asked raising his eyebrows at his friend.

Sirius didn't say anything, but a ruffling sound of material and a zipper being pulled down, through the haze of his mind Severus swallowed hard.

"Now Padfoot, mind yourself" James said in a high irritating voice that sent shivers down his spine, he could only imagine what that bastard had in mind. He couldn't even look when they stepped closer, unable to do anything he lay back and closed his eyes willing this all to stop or to be a terrible nightmare.

"Time for a wash, Snivellus" Sirius' voice was laced with venom as he began to urinate over Severus.

Severus unable to do anything else burst into tears sobbing, the room was spinning, the distinct smell of urine filling his senses as it splattered thickly over his torso, moving slowly upward.

"Look at me you filthy little shit" Sirius snarled and Severus obediently opened his eyes gazing up at the purebloods who were standing over him laughing and Severus was almost sick in his mouth as the urine moved across running onto his face, Severus spat furiously hissing like a cat and as soon as it had begun it was over and Black was zipping up his trousers again.

"Why don't you just drop dead" Potter hissed before the two boys turned and left the toilet laughing hysterically together.

Severus lay on the cold hard floor sobbing his heart out, blood and tears mixing with the foul stench of the urine covering him he rolled onto his stomach vomiting onto the floor some of the piss dripping from the ends of his nose and hair as he continued to cry.

Hauling himself along the floor in a blind state he used the sink to drag himself shakily to his feet, not wanting to look at himself in the mirror he stumbled along using anything in reach for support and opened the door, the corridor was cold and empty by now the students all in class as Severus made his way along his mind was blank, tears were still streaming down his face he felt like he was in a trance their cruel words ringing through his ears as he began to move faster and faster ripping out his wand he burst through the classroom door frightening the life out of everyone in there, they all turned to stare at him soaked in sweat, blood, tears and urine.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT?" he shrieked hysterically staring at James and Sirius who looked disturbingly smug.

"YOU WANT ME TO DIE? WELL FINE THEN, FUCKING HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" Severus screamed at the top of his lungs, he couldn't even look at Remus' face as he pointed his wand back at himself.

"SECTUM SEMPRA!" he screamed, a bright flash of light erupted from the end of his wand, a vicious slashing sensation tore through him as he was thrown backwards across the corridor his head banged hard against the stone wall and he fell to the ground in a crumpled mass, the last thing he saw before he passed out was Remus running towards him with Professor Slughorn by his side….


	5. The Hospital Wing

"Severus! Oh my god, SEVERUS!" Remus shouted utter panic and terror washing over him as he flung himself from the classroom sending his chair flying as he bounded across the room hurtling towards Severus' crumpled mass lying on the floor, the boy's eyes fell closed as he passed out his body falling limp blood seeping from his wounds slashed all over his front.

"Everyone stay in your seats let me deal with this" Slughorn shouted slamming he classroom door shut behind them, the whirring of voices echoing slightly through the door.

Remus knelt down by Severus' side the sight of the tears on his red stained cheeks, the blood dry and fresh all over him, the stench of urine was unbearable. Remus thought he was going to be sick, he started to shake violently. Reaching out he took Severus' wrist pressing his fingers against it as Slughorn shouted down the corridor to someone.

"He has a pulse, he's still alive but it's weak" Remus choked his eyes scanning over Severus' frail unconscious frame, his right arm was twisted in a sickening way and Remus had a sneaking suspicion that it was broken probably in more than one place.

"We need to get him to the hospital wing as quickly as possible" Slughorn said quickly and Remus nodded still struggling to take it all in, he had to be strong for Severus' sake.

"I-I can lift him" Remus said reaching out to touch Severus.

"Wait here we need to be careful of him he's incredibly fragile" Slughorn said pulling out his wand, waving it he conjured a stretcher and carefully levitated Severus onto it.

"I'm going to take him to the hospital wing, I know you're his friend I think you should be by his side, and you obviously care for him" Slughorn said looking down at the young boy with tears in his eyes.

Remus nodded. "I need to be there for him"

Turning Remus walked hurriedly along the corridor in front of Professor Slughorn walking alongside the stretcher where Severus lay still breathing faintly, Remus felt sick to his stomach how could he not have noticed how bad Severus was getting, he knew Severus was in a terrible state but he didn't know it was quite this bad. Stealing another glance he frowned, Severus' nose appeared broken angry purple bruises were appearing on his pale face, someone had attacked him prior to this someone had pushed him.

Then it snapped.

Someone had given Severus one last push and driven him over the edge.

Barely a minute later and they arrived in the hospital wing, hurrying through they burst into the warm fresh room, rows of immaculate made beds and a warm fire burning in the corner of the room gave it a pleasant feel.

Remus' head was spinning, his ears ringing over what had just happened, what he had just witnessed it was shocking to say the least. Poor Severus.

"Poppy!" Slughorn shouted loudly as they continued through the room to the far back corner.

The nurse came bustling out, her face dropped the second she saw Severus on the stretcher.

"Oh my good lord, what has happened?" She asked looking between all three of them as she grabbed the boy's wrist up his sleeve and felt for a pulse, thankfully it was still there.

"He has just…. Tried to…. Commit suicide" Slughorn swallowed hard as Remus and Madame Pomfrey carefully shifted the boy onto the bed, she gagged at the smell of him. Quickly she reached up and drew the long flowing white curtain closed around the bed giving the three of them some privacy from potentially prying eyes, although they were the only ones in there.

"We have to act fast, the cuts from what I can see seem to be easing off with the bleeding which is good, I'll need to remove his clothing, wash him extensively and bandage him up" Pomfrey said quickly.

"No let me do it, please, please let it be me!" Remus threw his arms out shielding Severus from Pomfrey as she reached to remove the soiled clothing.

"Mr Lupin please stand aside this boy is in danger he needs medical attention" she said bluntly but Remus shook his head.

"Please, let me wash him and bandage him I know how to do them I've bandaged myself and taken care of my own wounds myself thousands of times, you know I can do this if there's anything that looks really bad I'll inform you but let me take care of him I need to do this I can do this" Remus said quickly refusing to move.

Madame Pomfrey hesitated a moment.

"Please…." Remus tried again tears welling up in his eyes.

"Very well, but only because I know you are capable of doing this by anything that looks very deep or dangerous you must allow me to look at it" she replied moving out from behind the curtain to fetch the supplies.

"I must go, I don't want to but I have a whole class of students waiting for me in the classroom wanting to know what has happened I really have to go and see them it's my duty as a Professor" Slughorn said slowly looking away from the dark haired boy lying on the bed as Remus reached over and pushed off his cloak making for his tie.

"Will you be alright here? I will come back and see him later, this is just awful" Slughorn sighed shaking his head.

"I'll be fine" Remus choked pulling off Severus' shoes and carefully removing his jumper throwing everything into the corner well away from him.

"Okay, I'll see you later" Slughorn nodded before heading out from behind the curtain.

Madame Pomfrey returned moments later holding a large what appeared to be cauldron of warm steaming liquid it had a strong medicinal scent, a brand new white wash cloth, a towel and a bag of bandages.

"You must work quickly, call me when you are done" she said before heading out behind the curtain again drawing it completely closed.

Remus quickly opened all the buttons on Severus' shirt pulling it off the sight before him made him burst into tears. There were slashes long ones all over Severus' torso, across his chest, over his ribs, vertical ones cutting his stomach and a long slash just by the top of his trousers and these were as well as the scars and marks from his self-harm Remus could have sworn he saw something even more disturbing on the boy's chest.

Quickly he opened his trousers, blushing as he pulled them down and off there were several cuts on his legs but they were mainly red angry scars where he had been cutting himself, blood was covering and seeping over them.

Severus' underwear was dry, leaning forward Remus sniffed and frowned, he hadn't wet himself so if his underwear was still clean and dry that could only mean…. Someone else had done it. Remus fought back the almost over powering urge to vomit onto the floor some filthy little beast had done this to Severus, his Severus.

Angrily he threw the clothes aside and hurried over to the steaming cauldron, dropping the wash cloth in it he rung it out so most of the sparkling blue hot liquid was out before he gently began to wipe it gently over Severus' face watching as it burned slightly on his skin turning it pink. He rubbed thoroughly until it was as clean as he could get it before moving onto his neck and shoulders the blood coming away. He dipped the cloth back into the potion surprised at how clean it was, it must have been something in the potion.

Taking a deep breath he wiped quickly at the cuts on his chest tears falling silently from his eyes as he uncovered more of Severus' chest, the sight made his break crumble in his chest.

The word 'Snivellus' carved the full width of his chest.

Remus sniffed hard trying not to sob as he cleaned his way down dipping the rag into the potion every few seconds so it was clean, he washed completely over Severus' torso his eyebrows raising slightly with surprise as he saw an adorable little piece of jewellery dangling merrily in Severus' belly button seemingly unharmed.

He dipped the rag in the potion again before cleaning up Severus' legs trying his best to ignore the words 'die' and 'filth' written on his thighs as he cleaned them.

Dropping the rag into the potion he heard it sizzle, blushing even further he reached up and hooked his fingers into the waist band of Severus' boxer shorts, he pulled them down slowly exposing the boy's hips thankful there were only one or two little scratches he moved it down lower feeling the blush spreading to his chest as Severus' soft member hung limp between his legs. He covered him back up quickly and dipped his own hands into the potion wincing at the sensation before yanking them out and drying them off on the towel.

He took a few minutes carefully drying Severus, some blood leaking from the wounds but only in a small amount, Severus' chest rose and fell rhythmically the only indication he was actually alive. Remus took his time drying Severus off with the towel before he reached for the bandages and began to wrap his wrists first, tightly but careful that they weren't too tight. He was in fact partly trying to cover some of the scars and cuts Severus had inflicted on himself, he gave Severus his word and when he came round Remus was going to ask him to tell Madame Pomfrey about it he did not want to break the trust between them.

He wrapped each arm carefully before reaching for the larger gauze slipping it underneath Severus he wrapped it around his chest fixing it into place before bandaging his ribs. The gashes on his stomach weren't too deep and he left them open. Carefully he pulled the bedcovers out and draped them over Severus covering him up to the tops of his shoulders so he remained warm.

"Madame Pomfrey" Remus called dropping into the seat at Severus' bedside staring at Severus' still form.

Moments later the nurse appeared from behind the curtain her eyes wide and worried.

"Nothing was too deep he's clean and bandaged I covered him up so he doesn't get cold" Remus said quickly and she nodded.

"I need to take care of that arm, if you're very squeamish I'll ask you to look away now but the most important part was stopping at bleeding and getting those gashes sorted out, were there very many?" she asked moving around to stand beside Severus pulling out her wand.

"There were quite a lot but I guess wands don't work that well against their owners no matter how much they want them too" Remus replied watching as the woman nodded waving her wand and muttering something a loud sickening snap sounded and Remus grimaced, it was soon followed by two more as Severus' bones were mended quickly.

"Broken in three places, but it's fixed now the most important thing is he rests until he comes round, you may leave if you wish or you can stay until he wakens" she replied looking down at the blonde boy worriedly, in all her years as a nurse at Hogwarts she had never seen anything quite this shocking.

"I need to stay here and be with him, I can't even think straight it was so awful" Remus replied putting his head in his hands. "I think his nose might be broken too" he added quickly.

Madame Pomfrey gently felt along the boy's nose examining it closely and she nodded. "Episkey" she said and the nose snapped back into place, Remus winced at the sound of it.

"Would you mind telling me exactly what happened so I know the best plan for his treatment?" she asked pulling up a chair and sitting down calmly in front of Remus, the best way to help the situation was to be calm and careful especially with the witness.

Remus took several deep breaths exhaling slowly trying to calm himself before he spoke again.

"Well, I saw Severus leaving the great hall at lunch time he seemed alright then quite calm he looked relatively happy, he headed off down into the dungeons so I presumed he was going to the common room after eating which he does quite often" Remus began trying to recall as much as possible. "At the end of lunch time I went straight to my potions lesson with my friend Peter, James and Sirius had disappeared off somewhere doing who knows what as usual and we take Potions with the Slytherin's including Severus" he continued.

"Continue" she nodded.

"We hadn't been there long, long enough to take our things out then James and Peter came in laughing with each other and sat down as normal, Slughorn arrived and then the lesson began it was a few minutes later that the door burst open and Severus was in the doorway covered in blood, he was obviously crying he started screaming at everyone saying 'is this what you effing want' and 'you want me to die? Well fine then, have it your way' then he sounded some spell I didn't quite catch it properly because he was screaming and there was a jet of light the next thing was he slammed into the wall in the corridor and fell to the ground, everyone started panicking and I leapt from my seat and went running towards him Slughorn came after me and told everyone to stay in their seats and shut the door on them so they didn't see Severus like that, he passed out when I approached and he was covered in blood, tears and urine" Remus began to sob again his shoulders shaking as he put his head in his hands.

"He just seemed so feral the look in his eyes he had completely lost it, it was disturbing to say the least, but one thing that upset me a lot was that he hadn't wet himself I checked when I undressed him the urine was on his torso, neck and face so someone had actually urinated on him" Remus cried and Madame Pomfrey rested a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"Try to calm down you're doing well, so this has derived from some form of physical attack?" she asked and Remus nodded quickly.

"I think so, he has been bullied for years and I knew things were bad but I didn't realise they were to this extent I wish I'd have said something sooner maybe I could have prevented this I blame myself" Remus continued to cry.

"Remus none of this is your fault in the slightest, you cannot control the actions of other people only influence them in some ways, if he was pushed over the edge as you believe he was then it could well have been that which has caused this tragedy not the bullying, when Professor Slughorn comes back I will ask him to take a full statement from you this will go straight to Dumbledore, the person who has caused the attack will be severely pushed do not fear that" she said calmly and Remus nodded again.

"Is he going to be okay?" Remus looked up at the witch his cheeks stained with tears.

"He is going to be alright, the emotional trauma exceeds the physical and he will need time to heal physically and psychologically" Madame Pomfrey smiled and Remus was quiet for a few moments.

"Do you know something Remus?" she asked.

"What?" he sniffled sadly.

"I think you might just be the perfect person to help Severus through this, you care for him a lot don't you?"

Remus nodded vigorously.

"Then I think it's safe to say that you are what he needs right now, you are welcome to stay here by his side as long as you wish I will have some food sent up for you later on" she smiled again.

"Thank you" Remus tried to smile back but he couldn't muster the strength for it.

"I am just going to fetch something I will be back in a moment" she said getting up and leaving Remus alone.

He wasn't alone for more than a minute before she returned holding a small bottle with a spray cap in her hands.

"You said that someone had urinated on his face didn't you?" she asked and Remus nodded again.

"I am just going to spray this in his mouth it is a strong disinfectant which will kill anything in there so it cuts the chances that he will get from ingesting the waste" she spoke shaking the bottle. Parting his lips slightly Remus watched as she sprayed it four times into his mouth a fairly large amount going in each time.

"Will it hurt him?" Remus' brows furrowed slightly.

"No he won't even be able to feel it, depending on how long he remains in this state he may be able to taste it slightly when he wakes up" she replied moving on to spray it vigorously through his hair.

Remus stared in amazement as his hair began cleaner and the faint smell of urine vanished completely.

"I'm just going to wash my hands" Remus swallowed getting to his feet and slipping out from behind the curtain he hurried into the bathroom.

Severus had actually tried to commit suicide right in front of him, how could he not have seen this coming? Then again if what Madame Pomfrey said was true by the sound of it the incident of unknown circumstances had sent him over the edge not just the bullying. A wave of hot anger burned through Remus' skin his blood was boiling, how could someone do this to him? Severus had done nothing wrong, NOTHING, how could any foul little beast thing that he would deserve this kind of punishment. Remus was so angry he washed his hands under the boiling hot tap and marched back out of the toilet heading behind the curtain his face softened when he saw Severus still lying there his face tilted to the right facing Remus, his lips parted ever so slightly where he breathed.

Remus sat down pulling the chair right up to the bed he reached out and gently took Severus' hand in his own holding it stroking it softly he watched as the dark haired boys chest rose and fell in time. At least he was alive, that was the main thing.

A few hours passed painfully slowly, Madame Pomfrey popped her head through the curtain every half hour to check on them bringing Remus a large jug of juice and a pair of goblets just in case Severus woke up and needed something to drink.

"Madame Pomfrey?" Remus asked just as the nurse turned to leave again.

"Yes?"

"His breathing has changed, it seems…. Better…. Somehow" Remus asked frowning slightly.

She moved over to the bed and nodded.

"It is entirely possible that he has come round out of his unconscious state but is in a deep sleep, he will wake up when he's good and ready it's best to let his body rest so he can heal" she replied resting a hand against the boy's forehead. "He doesn't have a temperature which is a great sign, it's just a matter of time now it could be minutes or hours before he wakes there really isn't any way to tell until the time comes" she replied.

"Okay, I just hope it's soon I have so many questions and so much to say to him" Remus swallowed his eyes fixed on Severus as Madame Pomfrey moved towards the curtain.

"I know you've had a little bit to eat but if you want any supper I can have some brought up for you if you wish?" Pomfrey asked turning back to look at Remus who shook his head.

"Alright, I'll pop back in a little while" she said before leaving Remus alone with Severus.

There were so many things he wanted to say to this boy, so many, he didn't even know where to start. He debated on whether to start a little speech in his head but his brain wasn't functioning properly, it had been a long day and now it was evening he was sure the whole school knew although because nobody had been in Remus assumed they had either been told to stay away for now or nobody was planning to come and see if he was alright. Still, Severus had Remus and that was the important thing that he had someone who cared who was going to do his best to care for him.

Remus gently lifted Severus' hand again resting it in his own he kissed the boy's fingers gently the scent of medicinal wash powerful on his frail hands but Remus didn't even care.

A soft twitch brought his attention back, his eyes snapped open and he stared at Severus' hand. His eyes shot up to the boy's face, he was still sleeping soundly but surely this had to be a good thing, he was responding, his body was moving more. Remus grinned and gently stroked Severus' fingers again but to his disappointment Severus never moved.

With a curious expression on his face, Remus softly kissed Severus' warm fingers again and smiled when they twitched in response. Severus was responding to his kiss.

A little while later and the curtain moved behind him, Remus turned to see Professor Slughorn and Madame Pomfrey standing there staring down at him. Professor Slughorn looked terribly worried as he looked from Remus to Severus and back again.

"How is he?" the aging man asked quietly.

"Sleeping, he hasn't woken up yet but I think he might soon, watch" Remus smiled he gently stroked Severus' hand with his own.

"See? Nothing"

The two of them stared at him confusedly.

"And now" Remus said again bringing Severus' fingers to his lips kissing them softly he drew back quickly and Severus' fingers were twitching again.

"He's responding to you" Madame Pomfrey smiled. "This is great progress"

"What does it mean, Poppy?" Slughorn asked moving over to Severus' bedside.

"That he is conscious enough to feel people touching him which is another step closer to waking up, that he is possibly aware to some degree of his surroundings, and the fact he is responding when Remus kisses him only means that it is quite possible that somehow he is aware of Remus' presence" she said and a smile broke out on Remus' face.

"But why would he respond to kisses and not a touch?" Slughorn frowned confusedly.

"Most likely because he associates Remus with kissing and by responding to the kisses it is quite possible he knows you're here" Pomfrey said again.

"Why would he associate me with kissing, we've never kissed in fact neither of us have ever kissed anyone before" Remus shook his head in confusion.

Madame Pomfrey stared at him for a few moments raising her eyebrows and smiling at Remus. The expression on his face was as though he was putting two and two together. Severus wanted to kiss him.

Remus blushed furiously turning his attention back to Severus who was still lying on the bed his eyes closed breathing softly.

"I have told the others not to come up today it will be tomorrow at least before they are allowed to come and see him, whenever Madame Pomfrey thinks he is well enough" Slughorn said suddenly.

"Who asked?" Remus asked quickly his eyes snapping to focus on the potions master.

"Avery, Mulciber, Rosier and Regulus Black" Slughorn replied and Remus relaxed slightly. They were sort of his friends, the first three Remus knew he shared a dormitory with and if they wanted to see him then he really should allow it when Severus was feeling better.

"They're sort of his friends…." Remus said and Slughorn nodded.

"They seem to get along together do you still not have any idea what this might have stemmed from?" Slughorn asked curiously.

"Judging by his appearance someone had attacked him, quite badly too and whoever did it had…. Had urinated on him as well across his torso neck and face" Remus swallowed hard.

"That is absolutely vile, I will ask you to give me a statement tomorrow a full one because I know you two seem to be quite close, for tonight though I think everyone needs to rest and let everything sink in" Slughorn said calmly still staring down at Severus' sleeping form his face washed with sorrow.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best" Remus nodded slowly.

"I'll leave you both to it, if you need any potions of any sort I can bring something up for you please notify me when he wakens I would very much like to see him" Slughorn said turning and walking towards the curtain again.

"Very well Professor, good night" Pomfrey said as the man disappeared. She turned back to Remus again.

"You may use one of the beds if you wish to, try and get some sleep if you plan to stay here all night with him, if you need anything come and knock on the second door to the right of the back room those are my quarters, if he wakes up make sure he has something to drink but do not let him get out of bed apart from to use the toilet" she explained and Remus nodded.

"Okay, goodnight" Remus smiled weakly.

"Goodnight Remus and try not to worry too much, things will get sorted eventually" she smiled back resting a hand on his shoulder.

He watched as she disappeared and the lamps around the room went out apart from the torch behind the curtain burning to Remus' left above the bedside table. Remus listened as the backroom door opened and her footsteps eventually died away leaving him in complete silence.

Sighing he got to his feet pulling off his cloak, tie and shoes folding them up and putting them on the little shelf of the night stand making himself more comfortable, it was very warm and comfortable in the hospital wing he couldn't deny that at all.

About an hour passed with no change and Remus felt his eyelids growing heavy.

"Perhaps it would be okay to just close my eyes for five minutes" he grumbled resting his head in his hands, his fingers still laced through Severus'. Remus took one look at Severus and closed his eyes wishing everything would be alright by tomorrow.

It was only minutes before Remus drifted off to sleep, he was tired, he was stressed and he was worried terribly for Severus' well-being and his health, if there was anything he could do he would do it just to protect the boy he has fallen in love with.

It was a strange feeling, Severus felt himself filtering through the darkness his senses becoming stronger as he drifted back into consciousness. Very slowly he opened his eyes blinking slowly they came back into focus and he frowned. Where was he, what was happening, how did he get here, why wasn't he in the dormitory?

And then it hit him.

The common room, the toilet, Potter, Black the beating all of it came flooding back to him at a rapid pace, him bursting into potions, Sectum Sempra and-

"I'm still alive" he whispered blinking several more times, he aches all over he was sore and tired and confused.

A soft snuffling sound caught his attention and he glanced down a little way his eyes widened at what he saw.

"Remus?" he breathed staring down at the sleeping boy, his face resting in his arms, his long slender fingers entwined with his own as the boy slept.

Shakily he used his left arm which ached so painfully and began to gently stroke Remus soft blonde locks, he couldn't believe it, Remus had stayed with him all night, all day, what day was it even? Severus was confused, sore and tired.

"Mph?" Remus groaned softly lifting his head up, Severus stared at him as the boy sat up slightly blinking himself awake.

"Sev?" he asked sleepily before his eyes widened. "Sev!" he beamed excitedly he made to throw his arms around the boy but stopped himself thinking it would probably be too painful.

"You're awake I've been so worried about you how are you feeling?" Remus asked worriedly sitting himself up making sure he was close to the boy as he gazed into his dark eyes, the only source of light a silvery glow from the moon shining through the paned window high above the bed.

"Remus…." Severus repeated blinking slowly at the boy. "How long have you been here, where am I?" Severus asked his brows knitting together in confusion.

"You're in the hospital wing you've been unconscious, well, asleep since yesterday afternoon I haven't left your side I was so, so scared" Remus breathed reaching out and gently stroking the raven haired boys face.

"Y-you stayed here with me since then?" Severus asked slightly surprised.

"Of course I have, I'm so happy you're awake I thought for a moment there I'd lost you and it terrified me" Remus said softly tears welling up in his eyes.

"You haven't lost me I'm still here" Severus said at almost a whisper.

"Oh Sev, why did you do this I thought you were starting to get better?" Remus asked sadly the tears brimming so close they were threatening to over flow.

"I was or at least I thought I was, I felt better but they never stopped, they carried on didn't they and it got worse, then they cornered me in the toilet and-" Severus bit his bottom lip and tried to look away.

"They, who is they?" Remus asked quickly.

Severus didn't reply.

"Severus, who is they please tell me I have to know, what happened?" Remus asked worriedly. Severus' eyes scanned over Remus' handsome face he genuinely looked a mix of terrified, worried, hurt and confused.

"Potter and Black" he said simply.

Remus' face immediately turned stony. "What did they do to you?" he growled, Severus could see the anger flashing through his eyes.

"Remus-"

"Sev I have to know I need to know what they did to you" Remus said quickly swallowing the lump that appeared in his throat as the tears began to fall down his cheeks.

"Can-can I tell you later please I'm not feeling very well" Severus mumbled watching Remus' face soften dramatically.

"Of course, tell me whenever you're ready" Remus nodded tucking a few loose strands of hair out of Severus' face.

"Thank you" Severus whispered blinking slowly at him.

"Madame Pomfrey says you have to drink something when you wake up" Remus said suddenly remembering his instructions to take care of Severus.

"That would be nice I'm really thirsty" Severus replied.

Remus turned around seizing the fresh jug of pumpkin juice he poured some out into the clean goblet and left it on the bedside table.

"Can you move, do you want me to help you?" Remus asked quickly and Severus nodded.

"Yes please" he said in a slightly hoarse voice.

Remus carefully wrapped his arms around Severus slowly pulling him up so he was sitting half upright against the over fluffed pillows, not quite sitting not quite lying down.

Carefully he pulled the covers up over Severus' naked torso and picked up the goblet of juice.

Severus reached out to take it and Remus wrapped his hand around the frailer boys helping him hold it to his mouth in case he spilled it as he drank, the rested it back on the bedside table.

"Better?" Remus asked sitting himself back down.

"Much" Severus breathed closing his eyes momentarily.

"Is there anything you need I can go and get Madame Pomfrey if you want" Remus said quickly and Severus nodded.

"There is something I need, I've known this for a while now" Severus swallowed.

"What's that?"

"You, Remus" he replied looking Remus straight in the eye.

"Severus…." Remus breathed. "I need you too, honestly, I thought you were going to die it broke my heart to see you like that, why didn't you tell me things were so bad, if you'd died I wouldn't know what to do with myself I-I'd want to die too" Remus said honestly staring into Severus' eyes.

"You don't mean-"

"Yes I do, I promise, I've been so worried I was thinking about telling you this for a while but now this has happened I want to tell you right now I was waiting for the right moment to say this but I'm going to say it now I feel it's right you knew" Remus began nervously and Severus stared at him confusedly.

"Severus…. I love you" he looked Severus straight in the eye.

Severus' world was spinning, Remus loved him Remus told him he loves him that he needs him. Severus felt his heart rise in his chest and tears spring to his eyes. How could he have been so stupid, how could he have missed the signs, how could he have done that to himself if he had have succeeded no matter how much he wanted to end his life of suffering, Remus would probably have ended his too and that was something Severus never wanted to happen he cared about Remus too much, Severus knew what he wanted even before the suicide attempt and by the sounds of it Remus knew before-hand too.

"Remus, I love you too" Severus smiled reaching his weak hand out to touch it against Remus'. Despite lying in a hospital bed after just trying to kill himself, he had never felt happier than the moment those words left Remus Lupin's lips.

"Can I have a hug?" Severus asked feeling shy for asking but he really wanted to feel Remus' arms around him even if it did bring him some physical pain.

Remus smiled, leaning forward he gently wrapped his arms around Severus' ribs burying his face in the Slytherin's neck. He felt Severus' weak arms lift to rest on his back and he wanted to cry for him, he wanted to cry that Severus had been pushed this far, that someone had done this to him, that some vile person had made him feel this way, he wanted to cry because he loves him and wants to protect him.

"Am I hurting you?" Remus whispered.

"No I like this" Severus whispered back.

Very slowly and carefully Remus drew back, leaning forward he pressed his lips to Severus' forehead for a few moments then moved back. As he went to sit down he felt Severus grab weakly at his arm and he froze looking Severus straight in the eye.

Remus' heart was hammering in his chest with nerves he continued to gaze at Severus for a few moments before he began to lean in slowly. He had never kissed anyone before in his life.

Severus watched as Remus drew closer his eyes falling closed his lips slightly parted ready to kiss him his heart was beating a tattoo in his chest as Remus' lips came closer at an unbearably slow rate.

Severus' eyes fell half lidded just so he could see everything, take in every moment as he felt Remus' warm breath against his lips.

Severus allowed his eyes to fully close as Remus' lips pressed against his own in a warm tender kiss. Severus' breath hitched in his throat, he had never kissed anyone until now and it was the greatest feeling he had ever felt, he felt the fireworks erupting in his head the shockwaves coursing through his body, he felt as though Remus had sent him sky rocketing to heaven and he loved it.

All too soon their lips slowly drew apart his eyes opening slowly to meet Remus' gaze, both boys were blushing and breathing heavily.

"Remus…." Severus whispered gazing into those sparkling blue eyes.

Remus shook his head. "Before this goes any further between us there is something I have got to tell you" Remus swallowed nervously, the serious tone in his voice worried Severus slightly.

"What's that?" the dark haired boy blinked.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but you know I care about you so much and I really want to be with you but I'll understand that if what I'm about to tell you puts you off of me forever" Remus said nervously and Severus frowned.

"Remus what is it?" Severus asked starting to feel very worried.

"I-I have Lycanthropy" Remus said quickly closing his eyes so he couldn't see the expression on Severus' face.

Severus' eyes widened slightly as he stared into Remus' face.

"Y-you're a werewolf?" Severus breathed searching the boy's face and Remus nodded.

"Yes, I am"

"Remus look at me" Severus spoke calmly.

Slowly but surely Remus opened his eyes meeting Severus' gaze, and the other boy smiled.

"I had a feeling you might be to be honest" Severus admitted and Remus' mouth fell open with surprise. "But I don't care what you are, you're still Remus" he smiled and Remus couldn't even speak he was so stunned.

"Don't look so surprised, you have been so good to me and after everything I've done I don't deserve you but I still really want you, I-I have done for a while" Severus blushed.

Remus' face split into an ear to ear grin at Severus' words, carefully he reached out and gently wrapped his arms around the injured boy holding onto him carefully, the tears he wanted to shed now weren't of pain or anger they were of happiness Severus wanted him back.

"You won't tell anyone will you, apart from my friends and yourself nobody else knows" Remus said nervously.

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me, I always keep my word" Severus smiled as Remus drew back.

Severus started blushing even more as he gazed up into Remus' handsome face.

"What?" Remus chuckled.

Severus continued to blush and looked away.

"What?" Remus tried again.

"May I have another kiss, please?" Severus asked shyly averting his eyes his blush deepening. Remus thought he had never seen something so cute in all of his life.

Instead of replying he leaned in and brought their lips together in a gentle kiss. When they drew back Remus was also blushing.

"Does this mean we're together?" he asked quickly.

"I'd really like that, if you want to be" Severus smiled.

"What I want is you as my boyfriend and I want you to get better, I want to help you get well again" Remus smiled.

"That settles it then, we're together" Severus smiled, he couldn't believe it, how could he have been so stupid if he'd have died he would never have seen Remus again, never have kissed him or gotten into a relationship with him.

"Great" Remus giggled pecking Severus on the cheek.

"What's the time by the way?" Severus frowned slightly.

Remus rummaged around in his cloak pocket pulling out the little gold pocket watch he held it into the light, the moonlight was beginning to fade ready for the early morning sunshine.

"Almost six in the morning" he replied resting the watch on the bedside table.

"Okay" Severus replied closing his eyes for a few moments.

"Are you tired, do you want to go back to sleep?" Remus asked reaching out and stroking a few stray strands of hair from Severus' face.

"Yeah in a minute, but first can I ask why am I almost naked?" Severus frowned looking rather worried.

"Oh you were bleeding a lot you'd cut yourself and Madame Pomfrey was going to remove your clothes and bandage you up but I knew what was under them and I couldn't face letting her do it so I said I'd bandage you up and clean your wounds so she didn't see your scars" Remus swallowed watching the changing expressions on Severus' face.

"Don't worry she hasn't seen and I haven't told her anything, you're pretty badly cut up, like someone had slashed you with a knife or a sword" Remus said again and Severus nodded.

"The spell I used is designed to be somewhat like a sword slashing the skin, when used properly it can be fatal" Severus replied.

"But your wand, it wasn't fatal" Remus said quickly.

"I guess my wand didn't want to attack its owner, the wand chooses the wizard kind of thing" Severus replied quietly.

"And very lucky it was that the wand works that way, I couldn't face losing you, I know what they did to you Sev" Remus said quickly.

Severus' eyes widened.

"I know they beat you and hurt you and urinated on you, I know they pushed you but I'm going to let you tell me about it in your own time for now the most important thing is that you rest so you can get better and I can give you proper cuddles" A smile curled in the corners of Remus' mouth and Severus couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you" he said quietly.

"Go back to sleep for a little while, you need the rest, I'll be right here I won't go anywhere I promise" Remus smiled caressing the side of Severus' pallid face.

Severus smiled brightly at him. "Thank you so much" he reached out shakily and touched Remus' hand before burying himself up to the shoulders under the covers just in case anyone saw the few remaining uncovered cuts.

Remus watched as Severus breathing slowed to a comfortable sleeping pattern, he smiled to himself, Severus was alive, although he was unwell and needed the help Remus was desperately going to give him he was alive and he was going to be okay.

About two hours later Severus began to stir or at least Remus thought he was stirring. Severus let out a small cry jerking under the covers his eyebrows creased into a worried frown as he continued to jerk his aching body in his sleep.

Remus frowned as Severus began to jerk more aggressively whimpering and crying his breathing growing heavier, he sounded like he was panicking. Remus' eyes widened and he jumped to his feet unsure of what to do, when he saw a tear trickling down Severus' cheek he grabbed hold of the boy by the shoulders and began to shake him.

"Severus, wake up its okay, Severus" he said quickly and the boys eyes flashed open. Severus let out a cry as his fist came into contact with Remus' cheek.

Remus stumbled back staring at him wide eyed.

Severus' face drained of colour as he whimpered in pain staring at Remus.

"I'm so sorry, Remus" he whimpered but Remus shook his head.

"It's okay, it's understandable it's my fault I shouldn't have been leaning over you and shaking you it must have given you a fright after what happened" Remus said calmly moving over and wrapping his arms gently around Severus as the boy sniffled in his arms. "It's okay, no harm done, are you alright, you were having a nightmare weren't you?" Remus asked worriedly. He felt Severus nod against his shoulder.

"Was it them?" he asked again and Severus nodded.

"Shh its okay they aren't here, nobody is going to hurt you now" Remus replied in a soothing voice.

Severus' breathing slowly began to subside and Remus felt him relax back into the bed. Drawing back he sat back down in the chair right up against the bed reaching out and taking Severus' sore hand in his own as the curtain opened and Madame Pomfrey appeared.

"Oh my goodness you're awake" she said looking very surprised, immediately she hurried over to his bedside tucking him under the covers tighter and checking his temperature.

"How are you feeling, any headaches, dizziness or nausea?" the nurse asked quickly.

"No" Severus said slowly.

"Do you know where you are and who we are?" she asked again observing him closely.

"In the hospital wing with Remus and Madame Pomfrey" Severus replied.

"Very good" she nodded placing a cup of what appeared to be a deep red smoking potion.

"He woke up a few hours ago, he's had something to drink and he's been talking to me just fine" Remus explained quickly and she nodded again.

"Very good, now Severus you'll need to drink this twice a day for a few days until your strength starts to come back, it's called a blood replenishing potion" Madame Pomfrey explained as Severus stared at the cup dubiously as though it was filled with something horrible. "Don't worry there isn't any actual blood in it, it's just going to help refresh you, you did lose a fair amount of blood yesterday so we have to be cautious" she chuckled slightly and the expression of worry eased on Severus' face.

"Is he going to be alright, Madame Pomfrey?" Remus asked.

"Yes I should think he will as long as you make sure he takes his medicine and stays in bed" she looked straight at Severus when she spoke.

"I'll have some breakfast sent for you both" she said. "As you need to eat something otherwise your body won't be able to heal itself properly" she looked directly at Severus again just as he opened his mouth to say he wasn't hungry.

"I'll be back in a little while" she said before disappearing again closing the curtain behind her.

"I'm not even hungry" Severus said grumpily and Remus shook his head.

"You are so skinny though Severus, you need to eat something, haven't you been eating properly?" Remus asked a worried expression on his face.

Severus was debating on whether or not he should tell Remus but in the end gave in, Remus deserved to know the truth.

"No I haven't, been to stressed and too frightened to go into the great hall very often" he mumbled averting his eyes.

Remus let out a long hard sigh. "Why didn't you say something, you need to eat you're underweight it can't be healthy being as thin as you are now, in fact I think you've lost weight"

"If it'll make you happy then I'll eat something in a bit" Severus smiled weakly.

"Good, now you've got to take this potion" Remus smiled lifting up the cup and holding it out to Severus who wrapped his fingers around it gently and Remus kept a firm hold as Severus lifted it to his mouth and began to drink it pulling back and grimacing in disgust.

"It tastes awful" he gagged.

"Come on only a little bit left you can finish it the sooner you drink it the sooner you can have some juice to wash it down" Remus said quickly.

Severus stared at the cup in disgust before he downed the rest pulling faces of disgust as Remus set it back down on the bedside table.

"Do you feel comfortable talking to me about what happened yet?" Remus asked slowly trying to approach the situation the best way he could.

Severus went quiet staring down at the bed covers before he nodded.

"Alright I'll tell you" he said slowly.

Remus reached out and took his hand gently in his own and looked into Severus' face as the boy began to speak.

"I was in the common room for a while it was nearing the end of lunch so I decided to leave and go to potions early, but I needed to go to the toilet so I left the common room and went into the toilets in the dungeons" Severus began and Remus nodded.

"I used the toilet and was washing my hands when I heard someone come in, they were talking loudly and when they saw me they immediately started" he continued. "They started off calling me names and mocking me so I told Potter to grow up and he said I have the manners of an animal, I mentioned the way Sirius spat on me but then they said I never learn and something started to change and I was getting really frightened" Severus continued slowly closing his eyes.

"It's okay I'm listening, what happened next?" Remus asked gently squeezing Severus' hand to show his support.

"They were talking about me as if I wasn't even there, I gripped my wand and they said it was time I learned some respect that they were going to teach me a lesson, as soon as they started moving closer I pulled out my wand but I was disarmed instantly it rolled away and I couldn't reach it so I backed up into the wall but Black grabbed me by the hair I tried to break free but he was too strong, he said I'm lower than the grime around the toilets and they started taunting me calling me names being horrible to me it was so scary" Severus said again fighting back the urge to cry.

"I told them to fuck off and it made things worse, it's all my fault and they started punching me I felt my nose break there was blood running down my face and the next thing I know I'm on the floor and they're beating me really badly, it was so painful and frightening I couldn't even defend myself they were punching me, slapping me, kicking me everywhere they could whilst calling me greasy, death eater, abomination, unloved, wanker and said I should just drop dead but they carried on beating me and once they eventually stopped I couldn't even see properly" Severus started to shake tears welling up in his eyes and began to over flow running down his pale cheeks.

"It's okay Sev they can't hurt you now, what happened next?" Remus asked trying to fight back his own tears, tears of sadness and rage that his so called friends could do this to someone.

"Then, then I thought I might pass out my head was spinning so much I could barely see anything and they started talking again calling me filthy, asking if it anyone would notice if I got any worse, I couldn't listen my ears were ringing I was horrible I was terrified and helpless I didn't know what they were going to do to me then I heard the rustle of clothing so I closed my eyes I really hoped it was a nightmare that it wasn't really happening when Black said 'time for a wash' and he started to…. He…. He urinated on me" Severus sobbed.

Remus reached out and gently wrapped his arms around him tears falling from his own eyes. "Come on Severus what happened next"

"I-I was so scared and disgusted, he demanded I look at him I was so frightened I didn't know what else to do so I looked at him and he urinated on my face, it was getting in my mouth and everything it was hard to breathe it smelled awful and then he stopped" Severus sobbed. "They told me t-to just drop dead and left me there they were laughing and I couldn't stop crying I threw up and managed to drag myself up using the sink it was like I'd gone into a trance there was only one thing on my mind I couldn't even think straight it was all a blur and I had my wand back in my pocket then I walked blindly down to the classroom and that's when I…. all I wanted to do at that moment was to die, to put an end to this suffering and humiliation that by far was the worst thing they've ever done to me I felt so low so pushed and the only way to stop this is to die so that's what I did I tried to commit suicide" Severus cried burying his face in Remus' neck.

Remus couldn't control the sobs that were racking through his own body as he held Severus and cried for him, cried so hard it hurt his stomach, he wanted to be sick, he wanted to rip his own hair out, to punch walls, to go after James and Sirius and put them in Severus' position, he wanted to humiliate them in the worst way possible to show them what it was like for that, they had pushed Severus, his Sev so far he actually wanted to die, the tone of his voice sounding so desperate.

The two boys remained like that for some time until their crying eased off slowly ebbing away. Remus pulled back slightly to look into Severus' eyes.

"Oh Sev I am so sorry this happened to you, I'm so angry I just want to go and kill them I want them to know what it's like to suffer" Remus said anger boiling up inside of his chest.

"No Remus don't, please don't, let Dumbledore deal with them I don't want you getting in trouble for my sake" Severus said quickly.

"Severus…."

"No please just stay here and hold me I feel like shit" Severus whimpered sadly.

Remus' face softened instantly, he wrapped his arms back around Severus kissing him on the cheek.

"Just try and relax now Sev, let yourself rest this has been terribly traumatic you need to give yourself time to feel better and get well again, is there anything I can get for you, anything you want?" Remus asked slowly.

"I just want you" Severus smiled.

Leaning forward Remus kissed him softly on the lips feeling those familiar waves of sensation crashing through him.

"Good because I want you too" Remus smiled when they finally pulled apart.

It wasn't long before Madame Pomfrey returned with two plates full of food in her hands she smiled at the two hugging boys before clearing her throat. Remus jumped back slightly both trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Breakfast" she said simply handing Remus a plate and resting the other one on Severus' lap as he was propped up against the warm fluffed pillows quite comfortably.

"Thank you" they said as she turned and left them alone in peace to eat after refilling the jug with fresh iced pumpkin juice.

Severus stared down at the plate of toast covered in fresh fruit in his lap as Remus began stuffing his down.

"Sev you have to eat something" Remus said swallowing a large mouthful of food.

"I'm just not very hungry" he shook his head, although, the food did look very attractive.

"Come on you have to, you said you would and you're too thin you need something to keep you going" Remus encouraged him.

"Okay" Severus sighed deciding it would probably be better to give in and eat rather than be forced to do so by Madame Pomfrey. He slowly picked up a slice of toast and brought it to his lips sinking his teeth in the sweet flavour of the juices seeping into his mouth. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

Once they finished eating, Remus piled their plates on the bedside table and smiled at Severus.

"Well done you ate it all even though you said you're not hungry" Remus chuckled making Severus blush.

"Maybe I was a little hungry" he admitted and Remus laughed helping him have a drink.

"Are you feeling any better?" Remus asked sitting back down in the chair.

"A little, I'm still in pain and a bit tired but I'm happier than I was" Severus said calmly as Madame Pomfrey came bustling back through.

"Just in the nick of time then I'd say I was just going to give you some painkillers" the nurse said stopping at the bottom of Severus' bed.

"Umm would it be possible to…. Go to the toilet first?" Severus asked shyly.

"Yes would you mind if Remus takes you, I think you would be more comfortable if a male took you rather than me?" she asked and Severus nodded blushing furiously. He had never needed help to take himself to the toilet before but he was unsure if he could walk steadily on his feet.

"Is that alright with you?" she turned to Remus.

"Yes absolutely fine" Remus nodded quickly.

"Very well, call me when you're back in bed and I can give you something for the pain" she spoke before disappearing behind the curtain.

Remus leaned forward carefully pulling back the covers revealing Severus' bruised and battered body he looked dreadful.

"Is it okay if I pick you up and put you on your feet or do you want me to carry you?" Remus asked and Severus blushed even further his hands making his way down his body to try and cover his underwear.

"Whichever if easier" Severus replied and Remus chuckled.

"You don't need to be so shy around me, we're both boys you haven't got anything that I haven't seen before" Remus smiled and Severus blushed even further. "Besides yesterday I will admit I did have to look underneath your underwear to check for any more cuts or damage" he admitted and Severus' face couldn't go any redder, it had spread to the tips of his ears, flushed all down his neck to his chest.

"But thankfully you're alright" Remus said quickly as he moved closer. Carefully he slid one arm under Severus' back and one under his knees lifting him from the bed bridal style. Severus grabbed hard at Remus' shoulders as though frightened Remus would drop him. He placed him down carefully on his feet but Severus moaned in pain and sank back onto the bed in a sitting position gritting his teeth.

"Okay maybe I will have to carry you" Remus said quickly, he pulled his cloak free from the cabinet and slipped it around Severus fastening it at the front before he lifted Severus back into his arms.

"I never thought I'd be wearing a Gryffindor's clothing" Severus commented as they stepped out from behind the curtain into the empty hospital wing.

"Red looks good on you" Remus smiled as he carried Severus across the room, nudging the bathroom door open he stepped inside shutting it behind them before walking over to the toilet and resting Severus on his feet.

Severus groaned slightly in pain as he shuffled awkwardly over to the toilet, Remus moved behind him turning his back to him so they were standing back to back.

"I'll hold the cloak open for you, you can lean against me if it helps" Remus said slowly and Severus nodded. Reaching around, he pulled the cloak apart holding it at Severus' hips as he felt the boy lean back against him a little.

A few minutes later and Remus helped Severus wash his hands.

"Ready to go back to bed?" Remus asked.

"I'll never be so glad to go to bed in my life" Severus breathed as Remus lifted him back up. Pushing through the door he carried Severus still wrapped in the Gryffindor cloak back to bed, resting him down he pulled off the cloak and helped Severus lie back against the pillows his face full of pain.

"I'm so sore" Severus hissed trying to make himself comfortable his whole body was aching, the strain on his wounds was a harsh stinging pain, his bruises throbbing and his muscles ached.

"Your face is covered in bruises" Remus sighed gently stroking underneath Severus' left eye where a large purple bruise was glowing angrily under the skin. Leaning forward he gently kissed it before pulling back and smiling.

"I'll just get Madame Pomfrey" Remus said hurrying off behind the curtain.

Severus let out a long drawn out breath, he was alone now. Just when he started to feel uncomfortable Remus returned with Madame Pomfrey by his side.

"Are you ready for some pain killers, your body will be sore for a few days until it has the chance to recover" she explained and Severus nodded.

"Definitely, I'm in pain" Severus replied quietly.

"Right well I'm going to inject these ones seeing as you've already had potion which you'll need later on as well, these painkillers are a bit longer lasting than some others there is also a bit of sedative in here too which will help you relax and sleep" Pomfrey explained placing a few things down on the bedside table. Severus watched as she opened the sterile needle and syringe packet and drew the liquid from the little bottle checking for air before she moved over to his side.

"I'll put this in your right arm seeing as that is the one that was broken in three different places it is healed but it will take a few days for the pain to wear off as you may have noticed" she explained moving over to his side where the top of his arm was poking out from under the covers.

Severus flinched as she wiped a small cotton swab of alcohol onto his arm cleaning it before checking the syringe and holding the needle to his arm.

"Deep breath in for me" she said as the needle sank into his sink, a small sound of discomfort escaped his lips and a few moments later she pulled it out wiping the area clean again and sticking a tiny plaster over it.

"There you go, wasn't so bad was it?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Professor Slughorn and some students will be along later to see you, Slughorn will want the names of the students who have caused this you don't have to go into detail just yet but there will be a thorough investigation, speak with him if you're feeling up to it but it won't be until this evening" Pomfrey smiled disposing of the used items and removing her latex gloves.

"Okay I'll see later, I'm not up to seeing lots of people just yet not that anyone will come to see me" Severus replied.

Madame Pomfrey felt a pang of sadness for him.

"Right, well I shall see you both in a little while I have some work than needs to be done and such I will come and check on you in a bit" she nodded refilling the large jug of iced pumpkin juice before she left them alone together again.

Severus was starting to feel drowsy his eyes were half lidded and his body was incredibly relaxed, the pain was starting to slowly ebb away as he stared at Remus a smile on his face.

"You look sleepy" Remus smiled reaching out and stroking Severus' face gently with two fingers.

"I am" Severus said quietly. "Feel so relaxed, so warm and tired" he grumbled lazily and Remus smiled.

"It's just the sedative, have some rest and you'll feel better" Remus smiled.

"Can I have a kiss first?" Severus slurred slightly trying to keep his eyes open.

"Of course" Remus smiled leaning in and pressing his lips softly to his lovers, he smiled against Severus' mouth as he felt the boy kissing back rather eagerly until slowly his kisses grew softer. Remus pulled back a little way gazing into Severus' eyes for a few moments before Severus fell into a comfortable sleep.

Remus sat back in his chair holding Severus' hand in his own again watching him sleep, he'd wake him up later if need be when other people came to visit, Remus hoped so much that at least one of Severus' Slytherin friends would show to see him.

Remus smiled, he was so happy that Severus was alive and loved him back it was unbelievable the only thing that would make this situation better would be when Severus was well again and could leave hospital and they could be happy together and living normally. Remus smiled leaning in and kissing Severus on the lips again as the boy slept, he just loved him so much….


	6. Things Get Worse Before They Get Better

The rest of the day passed fairly slowly, Severus spent most of the day waving in and out of sleep, Remus made sure he woke up for something to eat at lunch time and then went back to sleep once he was finished eating. It was just past one when Madame Pomfrey poked her head around the curtain.

"Remus Professor McGonagall is here, is it okay for her to come in?" she asked and Remus nodded.

"Oh hello Remus" Professor McGonagall said appearing through the curtain a bag in her arms full of things. "I've brought some of your things here, Madame Pomfrey tells me you haven't left his side there's just a change of clothes, your toothbrush and bits if you're planning on staying here with Severus" she said her eyes falling on Severus sleeping in the bed.

"Thank you Professor" Remus smiled weakly as she placed the bag at the bottom of the bed.

"How is he, after what happened yesterday I'm surprised he's even alive" she said sadly staring at the young Slytherin.

"He came round early this morning tired and sore but he's had a blood replenishing potion he's had both breakfast and lunch and he's been talking quite well, he's also had some painkillers and a sedative so he's been a bit doped up since this morning" Remus replied gently stroking Severus' fingers in his hands.

"Has he been alright, not tried to hurt himself or anything?" she asked again.

"No he's actually been surprisingly good, he's in pain once he has some rest and starts to feel better he'll be well again I'm sure of it" Remus replied. "He feels safe in here nobody can push his limits or hurt him while he's in here he's actually been quite cuddly this morning" Remus blushed slightly.

"Forgive me for asking but are you two…." She looked from one to the other.

"Yes" said Remus.

"It's good that he has someone who cares so much for him, he'll need your support to help him through this difficult time, I hope he's out in time for Christmas it's in little over two weeks now especially if he's thinking of going home" she said again.

"No he's staying here, he always stays here I said I'd be staying with him too" Remus swallowed.

"Well it gives him some extra time to recover, stay with him as long as you need, I shall leave before I wake him up" she said turning to leave.

"Professor before you go there's something I should tell you" Remus said quickly.

She stopped in her tracks and stared back at him. "What is it Remus?" she asked.

Remus bit his bottom lip. "Those people, the ones who pushed him, they beat him and hurt him, called him filthy names and even urinated on his face, they were Sirius and James" he said slowly.

McGonagall's eyes widened and she stared at him in utter disbelief.

"I knew they were trouble makers and I knew they didn't exactly see eye to eye with Severus but I didn't realise things were this bad, do not worry I shall pull them in and interrogate them immediately they will be punished for bullying, however until Severus gives a full account of what happened to myself or another Professor there isn't much we can do" she explained.

"Okay, thank you" Remus swallowed, they deserved everything they had coming to them.

"Thank you for telling me this, try to relax and just focus on Severus for now we will deal with the others" she said calmly. "I will see you later"

Remus watched as she left, he heard her footsteps die away across the room and he sighed. Picking up the bag he rummaged around in it taking the fresh change of clothes and his fluffy white towel he leaned down and kissed Severus softly on the lips. Slipping out the curtain he headed over to Madame Pomfrey.

"Is it alright if I go and have a bath while he's sleeping, please?" he asked politely.

"Of course, you know where the bathroom is" she nodded towards the door he had gone through with Severus earlier.

"Okay thanks" Remus smiled before heading off into the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later he was washed and changed into plain Muggle clothing consisting of a brown earthy coloured zip up hoody, a plain white t-shirt and a pair of navy jeans. He left the bathroom his things in a bundle in his arms.

"Madame Pomfrey where shall I put these they're dirty and the towel is wet?" Remus asked feeling rather embarrassed.

"Just pop them on the side there, I'll have the clothes washed if you want the towel I'll hang it by the fire to dry for you" she said pointing towards one of the side tables. Remus moved over placing the things down before sprinting across the room behind the curtain to find Severus still sleeping in the bed. He tugged the curtain fully closed once again and sat back down reaching out and stroking the side of Severus' face. The boy moved in his sleep rolling fully onto his right hand side and Remus winced, he would probably need more painkillers when he woke up for doing that.

Remus leaned forward onto the bed his head resting in his arms, perhaps he could get a few minutes rest even though he did get a good five hours in last night. Yawning, he gently closed his eyes allowing himself to relax into the position before he drifted off.

It was evening by the time he was woken by Madame Pomfrey coming behind the curtain having just fetched them their dinner.

"I see you've both fallen asleep, it's time for dinner it's probably best that you wake him so he has something to eat" Madame Pomfrey said handing Remus a plate of food and resting the other one on the edge of the bed. She left them in peace to enjoy their dinner.

"Sev, come on Severus time for dinner" Remus said quietly shaking Severus gently. "It's time to wake up and eat" he said shaking the boy slightly harder. Severus groaned not liking the fact he was being woken up. "Come on Sev" Remus smiled as Severus' dark eyes fluttered open.

"Mm do I have to get up?" he groaned lazily.

"It's time for dinner, Madame Pomfrey said you need to eat something" Remus replied lifting up his plate and showing it to him. Severus blinked at it for a few moments rubbing his tired eyes Remus rested his own plate on the bedside table and wrapped his arms gently around Severus helping him so he was propped up against the pillows and placed the plate of food onto the other boy's lap.

"Thank you" Severus yawned still feeling a bit weak. Remus picked up his own plate as the two of them began eating.

"Professor McGonagall came in earlier on this afternoon" Remus began sinking his teeth into a carefully cut piece of steak.

"What did she say?" Severus asked worriedly.

"Just that she hopes you're better in time for Christmas, I hope you aren't angry but I gave her James and Sirius' names saying they had been bullying you and drove you to the edge" Remus admitted dropping his eyes down to his plate.

Severus stared at him for a few moments. "It's fine, she's going to find out anyway, I'm not angry with you at all, Remus"

"Good" Remus smiled. They finished eating and Remus helped Severus drink half the jug of iced pumpkin juice he was so thirsty.

"Has eating a bit more today helped you any?" Remus asked picking up a comb and running it gently through the areas of Severus' hair he could reach.

"Actually yes I think it has to be honest" Severus smiled as Remus put down the comb leaning down to press his lips to his forehead.

"See it does you good to get plenty to eat, you looked like you'd been starving yourself" Remus replied as Madame Pomfrey came bustling back round.

"Right" she began leaning over and taking Severus' temperature. "Perfectly normal, now here's your blood replenishing potion if you take it now you won't need any more until tomorrow morning, do you need any more painkillers now or do you want to wait until bed time?" she asked placing the cup of potion on the bedside table.

"They're still working quite well so I'll wait until bed time if that's alright" Severus replied slowly watching her pick up the two empty plates along with a small steaming cauldron that Remus immediately recognised from yesterday.

"I'll be back in a moment" she said before disappearing behind the curtain, she was back less than a minute later with a large amount of fresh bandages and a new wash cloth.

"Severus one of us will need to clean your wounds and replace all of your bandages, it's up to you whether Remus or I myself do it" she explained placing them down on the bedside table with the rest of the stuff.

"I'd like Remus to do it" Severus said looking to Remus who had a knowing expression on his face.

"Very well, you know how to take care of them call me if there are any problems I will give you some privacy" she said and left.

Remus got up slowly from the chair, lifting back the bed covers he watched as Severus shivered against the cold air.

"I'll unwrap them all, clean the wounds and then bandage you back up" Remus smiled reaching out as he began to unfasten the bandages around Severus' wrists, Severus swallowed as the wrappings fell away exposing the cuts and scars, the words were still there only left as red scars now. Remus tried to ignore them as he moved over unwrapping the other side he set to work on Severus' chest, then his ribs, and the rest of them.

"Are you okay?" Remus frowned slightly watching the sadness wash over Severus' face.

"I didn't want you to see me this way, I'm so ashamed of myself" Severus sniffed.

Remus reached out quickly and wrapped his arms around him. "It's alright I saw them yesterday, don't upset yourself or be ashamed this is not your fault" Remus cooed.

"Look at the state of me Remus" Severus sniffed tears brimming in his eyes.

"To me you look lovely, even with the cuts and scars" Remus whispered into his hair kissing him on the cheek softly.

"I feel so disgusted with myself…." Severus said sadly.

"Don't, it's okay just lie back and I'll have you washed and bandaged up in no time" Remus smiled reaching for the wash cloth he dipped it into the potion and wrung it out like before and then set to work cleaning the wounds on Severus' arms. The boy hissed at the pain so Remus leaned in and kissed him warmly on the lips.

"Remus it really stings" Severus gritted his teeth as Remus continued working the cloth over his chest rinsing it through the wash every few seconds.

"It will do it's cleaning them out for you so they heal properly they have to be kept clean and bandaged so you can get better" Remus said quickly. "You were out cold when I cleaned you up yesterday but don't worry I'll be as quick as I can" he smiled rinsing the cloth again as he moved down to the ones on Severus' stomach.

"By the way I love your piercing" Remus smiled watching the blush creeping onto Severus' cheeks.

"Thanks I've had it done for a few months now" Severus replied opening his eyes to meet Remus' gaze.

"If you don't mind me saying so I think it's incredibly sexy" Remus flushed and continued to wipe his way across Severus' thighs.

"I'm far from sexy" Severus sighed sadly.

"Severus I don't know why you think so poorly of yourself you shouldn't listen to what nasty people say about you, calling you names it isn't right they're only picking faults in you they will say anything to hurt you to make them feel better about their pathetic little selves" Remus said as he finished cleaning, he tossed the wash cloth into the cauldron and stared straight into Severus' pale face.

"They might be saying it to hurt me and they do but they're right about me, I am skinny, I am greasy and I am hideous" Severus replied looking away. "I always have been and I always will be"

Remus sighed moving over to Severus' side he sat perched on the edge of the bed looking down into Severus' face he could see tears in the boys eyes and leaned down closer to him.

"You trust me don't you, Severus?"

He nodded.

"Look at me" Remus said softly. Severus' eyes swivelled up to meet Remus' when Remus reached out and gently stroked the side of his face. "There is nothing ugly, hideous, greasy or otherwise bad about you I know it's going to take some time for you to recover and start to like yourself but I'm going to tell you this every day, Severus" Remus spoke still looking Severus directly in the eye. "You're beautiful" he smiled warmly leaning down and capturing Severus' lips in his own he felt Severus' breath hitch slightly in his throat as his lips parted just enough to deepen the kiss.

Remus' tongue trailed lightly along Severus' bottom lip asking for entrance, Severus gasped his lips parting and Remus was in. Severus let out a soft moan and blushed at the warm loving sensation of Remus' tongue slipping shyly into his mouth probing at his own. Severus' mind was buzzing as their tongues moved together rhythmically tasting and touching one another rolling in Severus' mouth, neither of them had kissed like this before.

Severus shivered slightly and Remus pulled back their eyes wide and panting for breath.

"Remus…." Severus breathed a smile curling in the corners of his mouth. Remus grinned excitedly at him.

"I've never kissed anyone like that before" the blonde boy blushed.

"Me neither, you were my first kiss" Severus admitted feeling his cheeks growing hotter.

"And you were mine" Remus replied.

Severus looked incredibly surprised by this admission staring at Remus his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised.

"Don't look too surprised" Remus chuckled.

"It's just I'd have thought you would have done this before" Severus replied awkwardly and Remus shook his head a bashful smile on his face.

"You are my first"

Severus smiled back as he lay shivering in the bed. "Can you put my bandages on please so I can have the covers back?" he asked quietly.

"Oh sorry I was a bit distracted" Remus chuckled reaching for the towel he dabbed at Severus' wounds.

"Good to know how much of an attention span you have"

"My attention span is very good, thank you" Remus teased.

"Oh yes by letting yourself get distracted by me" Severus replied.

"How could I not get distracted by you, you're lovely" Remus smiled and Severus thought his face was hot enough to catch fire.

"You're making me blush" Severus said feeling very embarrassed.

"That's good though, it looks cute on you" Remus grinned slipping a larger piece of the gauze under Severus' back and wrapped it around him fastening it at the side. He moved on to re-bandage Severus' sore thighs doing his best to ignore the words carved there. Once he was finished he smiled lifting the bed covers he laid them over Severus so he was once again covered to the tops of his shoulders lying propped up against the pillows.

"Comfy?" Remus asked sitting back down in the chair, Severus nodded his response.

"How are you feeling in yourself?" Remus asked gently treading lightly on the subject, he knew Severus was still fragile and he knew Severus was deeply affected by the bullying but he wasn't insane he was thinking straight, he was communicating properly and he was behaving well, especially well after what happened.

"Like utter shite, I feel hurt, sad, angry, depressed, but I also feel happy as well" Severus spoke calmly. "Happy that you told me you love me, happy that I didn't die because if I did I wouldn't have you and I'd never have known about this, I'm happy you've been helping me so much I'm grateful and I do really love you Remus, I fell in love with you a while ago and my feelings for you have only grown stronger since but I was too scared to tell you" Severus said sincerely.

"I love you too so much, my feelings towards you are very strong and will grow even stronger, I really do care about you I was so scared yesterday but things seem better today it will be a long road to recovery but we'll get there" Remus smiled and Severus smiled back gently.

"I hope so, I can't even think about facing the rest of the students now what on Earth are they going to say about me I don't think I can cope with them" Severus said worriedly.

"Don't worry about it for now you're here now you're supposed to be resting and you won't be well enough to come out for a while yet we'll just take it a day at a time until you're ready" Remus smiled reaching out and taking his hand.

Madame Pomfrey came hurrying back around the curtain her latex gloves in place a small metal tray in her hands.

"Right I can give you half a dose of the painkillers and sedative now and half your dose later, it will be perfectly safe to take like this but it won't be as strong so by the time it's bed time then you'll be needing the rest of it" Madame Pomfrey explained resting the little dish on bed next to Severus.

"Will it be as strong later?" Severus asked watching as she cleaned the area just below where she injected him that morning.

"Yes it will, it will be relatively strong now strong enough to make a difference and make you a bit sleepy but not strong enough to full on knock you out" she replied piercing the fresh little pot with the sterile needle.

"Okay then" Severus replied relaxing into the bed.

"Does it help you much? By tomorrow you might be feeling the pain a lot more because your body will have had the chance to recuperate enough by then you may need something stronger" she asked.

"It's working but I'm getting very sore now the painkillers have worn off a bit though" Severus replied as she checked the syringe for air.

"This will sort you out then" she said moving so she could reach the top of his arm properly. "Take a nice deep breath in" she said sliding the needle into his skin.

Severus winced and emitted a small whimper before she pulled it back out and sticking another little plaster over the area.

"There all done" she smiled disposing off the things properly. "I'll come back and see you in a little while" she said before slipping behind the curtain again.

The two boys watched her go before Remus gently took Severus' right hand in his own again stroking his fingers.

"I wonder how much school work we've missed" Severus mused gazing at Remus.

"I can't believe it, a day and a half in the hospital wing and you're already worried about school work" Remus chuckled playfully. "Now that's the Severus I know"

"I like to keep on top of my homework" Severus flushed slightly. "And I know you do too so if you want to go back to lessons or something I guess I'd be okay on my own" Severus said sadly.

"No Sev not at all I'm perfectly happy to stay here with you besides I think you're much more important than how much sleep I can get during history of magic" Remus replied and Severus laughed.

"I think I'm the only one who can stay away during that lesson... most of the time" Severus smirked and Remus started to laugh.

"Hey I almost forgot!" Remus said reaching onto the bedside table and lifting up the blood replenishing potion and Severus' face suddenly dropped.

"You almost made me forget you haven't had your potion" Remus said holding it out to Severus who wrinkled his nose lazily at it.

"Damn it and I thought I could get away without it" Severus said slowly blinking a few times.

"You alright?" Remus frowned a little.

"Yeah just the drugs are kicking in" Severus spoke lazily and Remus smiled.

"As they should now come on drink up, you have to take it" Remus insisted pushing the goblet closer to Severus' face.

"You'll have to help me hold it I don't think I can make my arms work very well" Severus yawned.

"Okay I'll hold it for you no problem" Remus replied pressing it to Severus' lips he parted them slightly grimacing as the horrible tasting liquid trickled down his throat, he swallowed it all down quickly before Remus pulled the goblet away, Severus by now was looking very disgusted.

"Horrible stuff" he cringed.

"What does it taste like, it can't be that bad" Remus replied resting it back on the bedside table.

"Kiss me and you'll find out" Severus smiled.

"With pleasure" Remus smirked leaning in and pressing his warm lips against Severus' in a soft gentle kiss, very slowly he parted his lips slightly and flicked his tongue out against Severus'. Severus let out a happy sigh and parted his lips, Remus' tongue slipped through the opening tracing against his own thoroughly exploring the inside of his mouth although Severus wasn't doing much because he felt a bit too docile due to the sedative.

When Remus pulled back slowly he ran his tongue along his pink lips for a moment. "Yeah it doesn't taste too good does it?" he chuckled sitting back down in the chair and giving Severus' hand a gentle squeeze just as Madame Pomfrey poked her head back through the curtain.

"You have a few visitors is it okay if they come in?" she asked lightly, Remus glanced at Severus who looked slightly worried but nodded anyway clinging hold of Remus' hand tighter.

Moments later Avery, Mulciber, Evan, Regulus and Professor Slughorn appeared around the curtain walking around Severus' bedside and Madame Pomfrey closed the curtain over behind them as she walked away.

The five of them huddled around the bed behind Remus standing staring at Severus very awkwardly unsure of what to do.

"Severus how are you feeling this evening?" Slughorn began after realising nobody else was brave enough to say anything.

"A little better, really sore and tired but better" he slurred a little and the four boys exchanged glances.

"We umm, brought you some of your things we figured you would be more comfortable with them because we were worried about you" Avery said softly holding up Severus' old school bag they must have dug out of his trunk and filled it stuffed with his things. "There's a couple of nightshirts, a towel, some underwear and socks and plain clothes" he added awkwardly and Severus smiled.

"Thank you that's really thoughtful" he said watching Avery rest the bag down on the end of the bed.

"We also brought you some of your books we found these in your trunk they look new so maybe you haven't read them yet?" Evan asked placing a stack of six various sized books in a bag next to his things.

"Thank you and yes they are new I just haven't gotten round to reading them yet" Severus slurred blinking slowly.

They all stared at him for a few moments.

"Are you okay, you seem kind of..." Mulciber trailed off looking to Avery as though asking for help on what to say.

"He's just had some more painkillers and sedative he's a bit doped up right now" Remus said quietly giving Severus' hand a gentle squeeze.

"Do you want us to go?" Evan asked frowning slightly.

"No stay, it's okay" Severus replied with a weak smile.

"So when did you wake up then?" Mulciber asked as Madame Pomfrey came back through pushing a stack of five chairs, lifting them up she placed them all down and the boys took their seats comfortably around the bed before she hurried back out leaving them to talk.

"I woke up early this morning it was before six and Remus was asleep with his face by my side" Severus said slowly.

"He's your hero Severus, without him I don't know what would have happened" Slughorn replied with a smile. "Terribly worried about you and clearly he hasn't left your side since"

"Yeah you should have seen him run out the potions classroom he looked distraught" Avery nodded in agreement.

"He's been really helpful and good" Severus slurred a little.

"That's good, are you in much pain at all?" Regulus asked his brows knotting together worriedly.

"Not if I've had these painkillers, when they start to wear off my whole body aches all over" Severus said

The four boys looked at him sadly, Professor Slughorn let out a quiet sigh of despair, it was horrible seeing him like this lying weak in a hospital bed, drugged up on painkillers and sedative so he could rest with the whole school talking about him, not that he knew but it was a pretty easy guess to make.

They sat in an awkward silence for a little while, the five visitors wanting to ask so many things, feeling unsure and uncomfortable to ask them in case they upset Severus. It was a while before anyone spoke.

"Look I know what you're all thinking so why don't you go ahead and ask me, get this awkwardness over with" Severus slurred a little looking between them through his dark eyes.

They all exchanged glances before Avery cleared his throat.

"Why did you do it?" he asked gently.

"Because I had been bullied for years, I thought that was fairly obvious to see, called names, attacked, hexed, hurt, abuse shouted at me, food thrown over me, stalked, chased, spat in my face, made my life a living hell, yesterday when they attacked me it was the final straw I hadn't been coping at all for ages and was finding ways to try and relieve the pain, I didn't want to leave and go home either because my parents…. Don't exactly treat me well and they have literally no money, when they attacked me in the toilet yesterday they just broke something inside me and then…." Severus swallowed looking to Remus who squeezed his hand reassuringly.

Severus bit his bottom lip fighting back tears. "Then Black, your brother, urinated on me, on my chest and my face…." Severus choked tears brimming in his eyes.

A shocked gasp and sounds of disgust echoed around him. Remus leaned forward wrapping his arms around Severus gently.

"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard" Avery tutted shaking his head.

"He's an absolute animal, what kind of human being does something like that? Wait until I tell mum" Regulus said angrily.

"Why would any normal person even think of doing something like that?" Evan sighed in disgust wrinkling his nose.

"They'd have to be extremely sick" Mulciber replied.

"H-he said I needed a wash…." Severus sobbed burying his face in Remus' neck.

"It's okay Sev, see, everyone is just as revolted by that bastard as we are" Remus cooed softly.

"I hate them so much…." Severus whimpered.

"And so will everyone else when they realise how vile and awful James and Sirius are" Remus replied firmly.

"I don't want everyone to know, I don't want them to know what they did to me I'm so ashamed" Severus said quickly.

"We won't tell anyone until you're ready for them to know, they probably will find out eventually though" Evan said.

"Thank you" Severus sniffled his face still buried in Remus' neck.

"Is there anything we can do for you, anything you need now we're here?" Mulciber asked trying to be helpful watching as Remus pulled back slowly and sat back in the chair taking Severus' hand again.

"No thank you, you've already brought some of my things that's plenty enough" Severus replied quietly.

"Are you feeling up to giving me a statement tonight, it doesn't have to be very detailed I just need to know some of what happened, the boys have been pulled up on this but deny ever seeing you that day" Slughorn asked calmly.

"Okay" Severus nodded.

After Severus had given the statement, trying his best not to burst into floods of tears again as he spoke, Professor Slughorn closed the little notebook he had been writing in.

"Thank you for that I will pass the information on to Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, rest assured that this behaviour is not tolerated and we will be deciding on the best punishment suitable for these boys so you can sleep knowing they aren't going to get away with this" Professor Slughorn said firmly.

"Thank you" Severus said slowly.

It was starting to get late and everyone was feeling tired.

"I suppose we had ought to go we have lessons in the morning" Mulciber said checking the time on his pocket watch, it was gone ten.

"Thanks for coming it was really nice of you" Severus slurred blinking at them slowly.

"Don't worry about it, we were really worried" Evan smiled.

The five of them got to their feet.

"I'll come back and visit you soon, Severus I hope you feel better" Slughorn nodded before disappearing behind the curtain.

"Yeah we'll come and see you tomorrow if that's alright?" Avery asked.

"That would be nice" Severus smiled weakly.

The four boys exchanged glances before Avery moved forward reaching down he very carefully wrapped his arms around Severus giving him a friendly hug, Severus automatically tensed under his touch, he had never been hugged by any of them before and after what happened he was worried about people touching him.

"Feel better" Avery said moving aside as Regulus gave him a gentle hug.

"You'll be up and about soon, don't worry when I tell mum what he's done she'll probably end up in Azkaban for attempted murder" he said and Severus gave a small laugh.

"See you tomorrow" Mulciber said giving him a hug.

"Get well soon" Evan nodded after giving him the last hug.

They all called their goodbyes to Severus before heading out of the curtain, the two boys listened as their footsteps died away.

"That was really nice of them to come and see you wasn't it, Sev?" Remus smiled turning back to his boyfriend.

"Yeah it was I'm surprised they did I…. didn't think they really cared about me" he replied.

"Well it just goes to show, more people care about you than you think, Severus"

"I guess so" Severus replied smiling slightly.

"Look they've brought your things" Remus said moving and lifting the pile of books from the end of the bed and placing them up against the wall on the back of the night stand before he moved and opened the bag. "They said there was some underwear and nightshirts in here, didn't they?" he said again rummaging through and pulling out a long grey nightshirt.

"Do you want to put one of these on at least you'd be covered up then and you'd be nice and warm" Remus offered pulling two nightshirts out of the bag one blue, one green and a pair of white silky pyjamas.

"Can I wear the grey one, please?" Severus asked and Remus nodded folding the others back into the bag he rummaged around and pulled out a fresh pair of baggy grey boxer shorts.

Remus stared at Severus for a few moments holding the two items in his hands. "Is it okay if I um...?" he asked blushing slightly.

"Oh….Yeah it's fine" Severus replied watching as Remus lifted back the covers and helping him sit up straighter before pushing the soft material of the nightshirt under him putting his arms through the sleeves and pulling it around his chest buttoning it quickly and straightening it so it hung to just above his knees.

"Shall I?" Remus asked holding up the clean underwear.

"Yes please" Severus blushed a little as Remus hooked his fingers into the waistband of Severus' underwear under the nightshirt and pulled it down and off. Moments later Remus had slipped the fresh pair of boxers on and draped the warm bed covers back over Severus.

"Better?"

"Much I'm nice and comfy and warm now" Severus slurred allowing himself to relax.

"Good" Remus smiled dropping back into the chair as Madame Pomfrey came back around the curtain with a fresh jug of juice and a little metal tray.

"Okay then I'm just about to retire to my own quarters, here is some more juice and I'll just give you your final dose of this and you can go to bed" she said resting the jug on the table and moving around so she was on Severus' left hand side.

She reached under the covers and gently pulled out Severus' arm resting it on the bed and shuffling the baggy sleeve up as high as she could (half way up his upper arm) she wiped the area clean before piercing the little pot with the needle drawing the clear fluid into the syringe and tapping for air. "Once again, take a nice deep breath in for me" she said sliding the needle into Severus' skin he winced and let out a small groan of discomfort before she pulled it back out and quickly put another little round plaster over the area.

"All done for the night" she smiled disposing of everything quickly. "Any problems and you know where I am, I'll see you in the morning make sure you both get some sleep, remember what I said yesterday Remus, you can always sleep in one of the beds or the chair" Madame Pomfrey said. "Goodnight"

"Goodnight" they both said as she left them alone, the lights dimmed right down to tiny flames just enough for them to see for a little while before they burnt out completely.

Severus felt very drowsy and incredibly relaxed as he watched Remus moved sitting with his legs up in the little armchair beside the bed he took his hoody off and draped it over himself resting his face on the back of the chair.

"No Remus…." Severus said slowly and Remus looked at him. "Don't sleep there"

"Do you want me to go?" Remus asked confusedly.

"No, no please don't go I meant…. isn't there somewhere more comfortable you can sleep?"

"Madame Pomfrey says I can sleep in one of the beds but I don't want to leave you, I'll be fine here honestly" Remus smiled.

Severus was quiet for a few moments. "Why don't you come and sleep next to me?" he offered shyly.

"Are you sure, you wouldn't mind me sleeping with you?" Remus asked then flushed at his own words.

"I do trust you, Remus, I know you aren't going to hurt me and it's okay I want you to" Severus slurred trying to blink himself awake.

"Well okay, I'd like that" Remus smiled getting to his feet slowly thankful he wasn't spending another night in that uncomfortable chair.

"Is it okay if I put a nightshirt on?" Remus asked again and Severus nodded slowly still watching as Remus pulled off his t-shirt folding it neatly onto the chair, he dropped his trousers and they followed, Severus bit his bottom lip as he watched the slight muscles in Remus' chest and abdomen flex as he moved to pick up the nightshirt, he noticed two long scars running from Remus' ribs to his side but they were fading and he briefly wondered if he had been attacked by something on a full moon.

Remus turned around catching his gaze and he blushed furiously, he had been caught staring at Remus getting changed. Remus smiled pulling on the nightshirt he closed all the buttons and moved over to Severus' left hand side. Slowly he lifted back the covers and slipped in beside Severus, there was plenty of room for both of them and for a little extra space as well.

"You're warm, like a hot water bottle" Severus smiled as Remus shuffled a little closer.

"A life sized one, do you want me to lower these pillows so we're lying down a bit more?" Remus asked quietly.

"Just a little, I'm too tired for much movement tonight" Severus yawned trying to force himself to stay awake.

Remus carefully draped his arms around Severus pulling him and the pillows down a little way so he was more comfortable before Remus snuggled himself down under the covers beside him.

"Is that okay?" Remus asked quickly.

"Just perfect" Severus slurred his eyelids drooping.

With a smile on his face, Remus leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. "Night Sev"

"Goodnight Remus…. Love you…." Severus slurred feeling himself starting to drift off.

"I love you too" Remus smiled watching as Severus drifted off into a comfortable sleep his face tilting towards Remus' their noses almost touching.

A few days had passed and slowly Severus was starting to improve, every night before bed Madame Pomfrey would give him a dose of stronger painkillers and sedative which would last him pretty much all day and he was eating three meals a day, getting plenty to drink and plenty of sleep.

"I think today it would be alright for the bandages to come off as long as the wounds are healing properly, so Remus make sure to check the wounds are healing well if not then you will need to put the bandages back on, make sure you clean them well even if you're leaving the bandages off but let them get some air first" Madame Pomfrey said as she cleared away the empty plates just after they had finished their lunch.

"Alright that's fine by me I'll be sure to check him" Remus smiled watching her go.

Severus was sitting more upright in bed although still emotional, upset and a little sore he was able to move around much better, he could hold his own goblet, eat properly by himself and stand just enough to move himself into the chair next to the bed. The colour was beginning to return to his skin and he was looking brighter as well.

"I'm really full now" Severus said gently rubbing his cut stomach.

"Good, you need to eat more" Remus chuckled. "Shall I take a look at those bandages now, you'll probably be much more comfortable with them off" Remus smiled and Severus gave a small nod.

"Yes please"

Remus pulled back his bed covers, unbuttoned the front of his blue nightshirt he pushed it off so Severus sat awkwardly blushing in his underwear and wrappings.

"I've been bandaging you for days and you're still shy?" Remus smirked, and Severus blushed an even deeper shade of crimson feeling all flustered and embarrassed.

"I can't help it I'm not used to someone seeing me like this, cuts, scars, words and boxers" he replied.

"Well let's have a look and see if they're ready to come off, just another step closer to healing" Remus said as he began to unwrap the bandages on Severus' arms. Severus lay sat back as all of the bandages fell away and Remus stared at him his bright blue eyes examining the cuts and he smiled. "They're healing well, all of them, you will probably have some scars but they should fade with time I think"

"Good, can I please have my nightshirt back on I'm cold?" Severus smiled.

"Aww" Remus grinned leaning forward and pulling Severus' nightshirt on helping him into it and buttoning it back up before he leaned in for a kiss.

"Things are definitely getting much better, aren't they?" Severus asked draping his arms around Remus' shoulders.

"Slowly but surely, yes they are" Remus leaned in for another kiss.

Meanwhile just outside the hospital wing….

"Poppy, Poppy I really need to have a word with you it's very urgent" Professor Slughorn said stopping the woman right before she walked back through the door. She had asked that all students with problems should report to the empty classroom next to the wing unless they are a very severe case of something as she didn't want them all in with Severus whilst he was healing, and unsurprisingly a disturbing amount of students came in during the past few days complaining of all sorts just trying to catch a glimpse of Severus.

"Oh Professor, whatever seems to be the trouble?" she frowned staring at the older mans worried expression.

"Oh Poppy we've just had some terrible news…." He shook his head and sighed.

"Why, what's happened?"

Slughorn gently took her arm and pulled her aside lowering his voice so no possible eavesdroppers could hear.

"It concerns Severus actually, you see, I've just come back from Dumbledore's office he called me up because he had received a letter with some terrible news…." He said unsure of how to word it right.

"Severus? What's happened?" she asked her eyes wide and full of worry.

Slughorn took a deep breath. "In the early hours of this morning the Muggle police force were called to a domestic disturbance in Spinners End, Coke worth where apparently Severus lives with his mother and father" he began nervously. "When they arrived they had discovered something awful, they believed from what they had heard from the neighbours was that Severus' father, Mr Snape, had gone to the pub the previous evening, had stayed out very late and when he came home there was a terrible argument, the neighbours reported that they had frequently heard the couple arguing but this had been much worse, there was a lot of noise and banging that went on through the night and eventually it stopped, there was a terrible screaming then nothing that's when they called the police and…."

"It feels strange not having the bandages on" Severus commented wriggling a little under the covers.

"I'm not surprised you had so many on, does it feel better though?" Remus asked cheerfully.

"Much better, more comfortable I feel like my skin can breathe"

"Good, so is there anything in particular you'd like to do today?" Remus asked as the curtain drew back and Madame Pomfrey stepped in looking rather dishevelled and upset.

"Remus may I please speak with you now, it's urgent" she stated a very serious look in her eyes.

"Sure" Remus replied frowning a little before getting up and following her behind the curtain and across the room.

"We've just had some terrible news concerning Severus" she said in a low voice resting a hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, is he okay?" Remus asked feeling panic rising in his chest.

"Oh yes he is fine but I'm not so sure he will be when he hears this" she said slowly. Remus stared her hard in the face she looked like she was about to burst into tears and he swallowed hard. It must be something extremely serious.

"Remus what I'm about to tell you is incredibly serious, Severus doesn't know yet the school has only just received the information and we feel that you should be the one to break the news to Severus" she continued making Remus' heart race in his chest.

It was another twenty minutes before Remus made his way back behind the curtain drawing it closed behind him white faced and shaking.

"What did Madame Pomfrey want?" Severus asked gazing up at Remus with a small smile on his face.

Remus swallowed hard closing his eyes in a long slow blink before he walked over to Severus' bedside.

"Remus?" Severus asked his brows furrowing with worry and confusion as he noticed the expression on his boyfriends face.

"Severus I've got something to tell you and it's extremely serious…." Remus said nervously looking Severus straight in the eye the boy's face dropped dramatically a look of terror washing over him.

"You're not breaking up with me are you?" he asked his voice shaking a little.

"No, no of course I'm not don't worry, it's just, I don't know how you're going to take this…." Remus continued nervously. He moved around the bed climbing up next to Severus he sat beside him turning to fully face him looking down into Severus' little worried face.

"Remus…. What's happened?" he asked quietly.

Remus took a deep breath and remained silent for a few moments.

"During the early hours of the morning the Muggle police were called to your parent's house by the neighbours because of a domestic disturbance during the night" Remus began gazing down at Severus who lay staring at him. Slowly Remus reached out and clasped Severus' hand in his own.

"The neighbours have told the police during their interviews that your father had gone to the pub the night before and had come home very late during the middle of the night and was extremely drunk, he had immediately gotten into a blazing row with your mother they were said to be screaming, shouting and it had thought to have turned very violent I carried on for several hours with shouting and the sounds of things breaking and it was the early hours when they heard shrieking and crashes before everything went quiet for ages, they were worried so they called the police who went straight round to investigate but when they knocked the door there was no answer" Remus continued looking Severus straight in the eye.

Severus' heard was hammering in his chest.

Remus took several deep breaths before he continued.

"They forced entry to the house, everything had been smashed to bits and when they went into the living room they found…. They found your mother in there and she…. Was dead" Remus looked Severus' straight in the eye, a look of pure horror washing over his face. Remus thought it best to continue quickly while Severus was still processing the information.

"They searched the house and upstairs in the smallest bedroom they found your father, he had hung himself" Remus said painfully as tears welled rapidly in Severus' eyes. "They believed he had murdered your mother and then being overridden with guilt, hung himself to compensate for his actions, Severus I am so, so sorry" Remus shook his head tears brimming in his own eyes as they began to trickle down Severus' face.

"N-no that c-can't be, not my parents, not both of them…." Severus said in disbelief as more silent tears fell from his eyes.

"Severus I am so terribly sorry this has happened" Remus swallowed watching Severus' bottom lip begin to quiver.

"Come here" he said pulling Severus carefully into his arms and sliding under the covers with him, Severus snuggled up into his chest as he began to shake violently all over. "Let it all out, Sev" Remus murmured into his boyfriend's hair kissing I softly as Severus began to sob loudly.

"This can't have happened, why? Why do these things keep happening to me?" Severus sobbed loudly shaking even more violently the tears streaming down his face.

"None of this is your fault, Sev, you're a good person that bad things have happened to" Remus cooed tears trickling down his own cheeks.

Severus let out an ear piercing shriek as he began to cry and shout and scream and sob louder than ever, pulling back he started to thrash lashing out and hitting himself screaming and biting his bottom lip until it bled.

"SEVERUS!" Remus gasped. "Madame Pomfrey! Help!" he yelled over the noise. Moments later the nurse came hurrying over and gasped.

"Oh my goodness, I'll be right back" she said wide eyed hurrying off.

Remus reached out trying to grab hold of Severus and pin his arms down to stop him flailing and injuring himself as he screamed himself hoarse.

"Severus please calm down, please stop you're hurting yourself" Remus pleaded panic gripping his heart like ice.

Madame Pomfrey burst back through the curtain hurrying over to his side. Remus moved straddling him forcing his arms down into the bed trying to stop him from thrashing.

"That's good hold him still" she said yanking his right sleeve up to his elbow gasping at the cuts, the carvings and the scars before piercing the top of a little pot filled with clear fluid with a fresh needle and syringe, drawing it back she tapped for air before sinking it into his skin by his elbow. Severus cried out even louder as she pulled the needle out and slapped a plaster on before she disposed of the things quickly staring down at him tears in her own eyes.

Barely a minute had passed and Severus' thrashing was coming to a stop, his eyes became hazy as he came to a complete stop slumping into the bed, tears still trickling down his cheeks, his lips slightly parted and his breathing beginning to slow.

Remus slowly slid off of him, reaching onto the bedside table he pulled a tissue from the box and dabbed at his bleeding lip cleaning it up until the bleeding came to a stop.

He threw the tissue aside climbing back into bed beside Severus he gently began to stroke Severus' cheek, Severus' eyes flickered onto him.

"There's a good boy Sev, it's okay" he said softly continuing to stroke Severus' cheek soothingly. Severus didn't even have the strength to blink, he lay there enjoying the sensation of Remus' gentle touch, he didn't have the strength or the ability to move, to thrash, to shout and scream or cry, he just wanted to let all of his emotions run loose he wanted to explode with the amount of emotion he had inside of him, he wanted to tell Remus how much he loved him, he wanted to be able to kiss him he could barely even think straight, his father had murdered his mother and then hung himself, if this is what it felt like when someone you knew committed suicide or died then Severus knew he would never wish this on anyone, he regretted his suicide attempt even more right now. He was an orphan, his parents were dead and gone and he would never see them again.

"I doubt he will be able to say anything for at least a few hours, he's been sedated fairly heavily just to keep him from hurting himself any further" Pomfrey explained and Remus nodded.

"Okay, it won't hurt him will it?" Remus asked worriedly.

"Not at all, he'll be alright, he won't have the strength to move about much or say anything so if he looks uncomfortable in any way try to help him out I'm going to go and leave you two alone for a little while to settle" she nodded "And Severus, I am terribly sorry for your loss" she said before leaving the two boys lying in the bed together in silence.

"Try and get some sleep, Sev it will help you, I'll stay right here with you I promise I won't go anywhere I'll be right in this spot when you wake up" Remus said quietly still stroking his lovers face.

Severus emitted a small soft moan and Remus smiled at him. "Do you want a kiss?"

A flicker of delight crossed Severus' face he appeared to be trying to nod. Remus smiled leaning in he kissed Severus softly on his sore mouth. Drawing back slowly he gently pulled Severus into his arms.

"I really love you, Sev" Remus breathed burying his face in Severus' silky black hair.

Minutes later and Severus had fallen asleep in his arms hanging limp, Remus sighed hugging him close feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of Severus' chest as he slept. How could things possibly be this bad for him, he didn't deserve any of this none of it was even his fault. Remus couldn't even begin to imagine what it must be like to lose both parents in a matter of hours especially within days after trying to commit suicide.

Remus frowned thoughtfully for a few moments an idea crossing his mind, there was definitely something he could do for Severus. A flash of excitement shot through his system, he couldn't stop his from happening with his parents, but he could make Severus' life a much better one.

Just over an hour had slowly dragged on by when Madame Pomfrey returned with a fresh jug of juice resting it on the bedside table.

"Madame Pomfrey, can I speak to you for a moment?" Remus asked quietly so as not to wake Severus.

"Of course" she nodded turning to face him.

"Well, I've just written a letter for my parents, would it be possible if you sent it to them for me? I don't want to leave Severus' side I told him I would stay here and not leave until he wakes up" Remus asked.

"That would be no trouble at all, is it something important?" she asked as Remus reached under the pillow with his free hand and pulled out a letter sealed in an envelope, his home address already scrawled across the front of it.

"Yes actually, I've been thinking about it for a few days now and was going to ask them about this anyway but it seems a lot more urgent now than it did before, under the circumstances" he replied handing it over to her glancing at Severus whom was still sleeping peacefully beside him.

"Does this have something to do with Severus?" she asked.

Remus nodded quickly. "I was going to ask them if he could come and stay with us during the summer, he expressed some…. Concerns…. To me before and I thought it would be nice to invite him to my house but now this has happened he won't have anywhere to live, I was planning on waiting a while before I asked them if he could come but I need to ask them now so we know where we stand, I was hoping they would let him stay with us because he no longer has a home to go to" Remus spoke sadly gazing sympathetically at his boyfriend's sleeping form.

"I think that would be a very nice thing to do for him, don't worry I'll have this sent off today for you and fingers crossed they say yes, I assume he doesn't know anything about this at the moment?"

"No he doesn't, I'd like to surprise him with it you know, a bit of good news and something to look forward to is what he needs provided he'd like to stay with me that is" Remus replied gently stroking the side of Severus' face.

"Indeed it is, I'll take this and send it off now for you, the quicker it goes the quicker you'll get a reply, have you explained the situation to them in this letter?"

"Yes"

"Very good, I'll be back soon" Madame Pomfrey smiled before disappearing once again.

Remus lay back against the pillows draping an arm over Severus' side and pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of his nose, hopefully things would start to get better soon for Severus' sake.

Down in the dungeons….

"Oi Avery, isn't that Potter and Black?" Mulciber nudged his friend in the side pointing towards the two boys who were strolling down the corridor towards them heading to lesson laughing their heads off with Peter trailing alongside them puffing to keep up.

"Shit it is" Avery said peering down the corridor anger burning up inside him. "Right, I'm not having this" he said angrily storming towards them.

"Potter, Black I want a word with you" Avery snarled marching towards them anger blazing in his chest from what they did to Severus.

The two of them stopped laughing abruptly when they saw the enraged dangerous Slytherin come marching towards them, Mulciber, Evan and Regulus hurrying after him.

Before Sirius had time to react, Avery grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the wall their faces inches apart so it was impossible to miss the dangerous aggressive snarl on Avery's slim pale face, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes.

"Now you listen to me little boy, and you listen good, what you did to Severus was despicable, filthy and inhumane you are _scum _and you should be locked up you're no better than an untrained wild animal" he began feeling Sirius swallow against his hand.

James made to grab him but Mulciber and Evan pinned him to the wall beside Sirius their wands pointed under his chin.

"Tell me, did it feel good what you did to him, to bully him, to call him names, to torture him into that state, when you were beating him senseless did it feel good to put someone that low?" Avery continued his voice laced with venom. "Did it feel good to hurt him so badly you made him bleed, to then pull your revolting self out and defecate on him in the worst way possible?"

"I-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK!" Avery bellowed in his face, he could literally feel Sirius shaking underneath him struggling and trying to reach his wand.

"TELL ME RIGHT NOW, did it feel good to put him so low that he couldn't even think straight, that you made him so low that he wanted to die, he was willing to destroy himself in front of a whole class of students just to escape the endless torture you put him through, and what the hell is your pathetic excuse for it all?" Avery shouted, some other students were coming down the corridor and stopped to stare at the scene before them.

"Wait until mum finds out what you've done, Sirius, wait until you're exposed for what you really are, all these people" Regulus gestured to the gathering crowd of students craning their necks to see what was happening. "They think you're s innocent, you're perfect that you'd never do anything out of fun and the sheer enjoyment of it all, but we made a promise that we won't tell them it's not our place to and we don't break our promises and we don't torture other people the way you do, there's harmless fun, there's having a laugh and a prank then there's down right torture" Regulus said icily.

"In fact we should probably kill you right now, we should torture you, put you through agony and shame just how you deserve" Mulciber growled his wand pressing harder into James' throat a small whimper escaping his lips.

"Boys!" Professor Slughorn's voice broke through the tension as he pushed through the crowd hurrying over to them. "Let go of them" he said firmly.

Slowly Avery released his vice grip on Sirius' throat and the boy dropped to his knees shaking his face devoid of colour, Mulciber and Evan pocketed their wands taking a step back from the trembling James who was pressed hard up against the cold stone wall.

"Professor surely you don't think these…. SAVAGES…. Should get away with what they have done?" Avery growled pointing an accusing finger from one to the other.

"No and believe me boys they will most certainly not get away with any of this, Professor Dumbledore wishes to see them both in his office right now as a matter of fact and I have never seen him so angry" Slughorn replied glancing at the two Gryffindor's. "Go, you've been in more than enough trouble to know where the headmaster's office is already, if you do not turn up I will come and find you and escort you both by the hands there so I suggest you get a move on, quickly" Slughorn said coldly.

James and Sirius didn't need to be told twice they got to their feet and pushed their way through the confused crowd with useless Peter running after them having been too cowardly to even attempt to stop the Slytherin's.

"Go back to the common room and calm down, you can visit Severus later on this evening I'm sure after the day he has had today he would be glad of your friendship" Professor Slughorn said.

"Go on, there is nothing left to see here, all of you get going" the teacher said turning and waving his arms shooing the rest of the student's away. Noisily they all began shuffling off down the corridor again talking excitedly amongst themselves about what they had seen.

"The day he has had today?" Evan asked confusedly.

"It's not my place to release information like this but I will warn you to be careful with what you say to him tonight he has received some terribly distressing news, if there's anything you can think of that might cheer him up you're more than welcome to try" Slughorn replied.

The boys exchanged confused and worried glances.

"Go back to the common room and settle yourselves down, we don't need any more fighting at the moment" Slughorn said dismissing them. They turned and made their way back down the corridor talking amongst themselves.

Up in the hospital wing, Remus lay pressing soft sweet kissing on Severus' lips as his eyes fluttered open, he gazed at Remus through half lidded eyes.

"Hello beautiful" Remus smiled kissing Severus again. Severus was still weak and immobile from the sedative, he could hardly move at all.

Severus gazed at Remus wishing he could wrap his arms around him and bury his face in his chest and cry and scream until there was nothing left inside to let out, both of his parents were dead and gone, neither of them were coming back. Severus had never felt so broken in all of his life, he just wanted to curl up and die, no, he didn't want that at all, he wanted to curl up in Remus' arms, close his eyes and let his lover take all of his pain away. Severus decided that Remus was the best person to help him through this, he had known he loved him for a while, he loved him so much he really cared for Remus he wanted to be able to hug him and kiss him and tell him he loved him but the sedative was preventing him from doing this, he blinked up at Remus trying to show him he loved him trying to smile with his eyes. Remus seemed to get the message as he smiled and leaned down bringing their lips together in a warm tender kiss. Severus let out a small happy moan allowing himself to be kissed by the boy he loves. Nothing could make him happier than Remus being by his side and loving him back, he never wants to lose him.

"I love you, Sev" Remus smiled as he drew back their lips barely a centimetre apart.

"I love you too" Severus whispered back.

Remus watched Severus drifting back off into sleep again and smiled to himself, he knew Severus would get better with him, he knew he had to do everything in his power to help the boy as much as possible, he wanted to give him everything he could he just loved Severus so much and he never wants to lose him. Excitement welled up in his stomach he hoped his parents reply would arrive soon….


	7. Punishment And Hospital Wing Antics

James and Sirius could safely say they were in deep trouble. Neither of them spoke as they nervously made their way sending awkward glances to one another as they passed through the school making their way towards the headmaster's office. It was true enough they had been there plenty of times before on many different occasions for all sorts of different things including letting off an array of dangerous fireworks in the bathrooms, that time when Sirius and James had taken pleasure on James physically restraining Regulus whilst Sirius beat the crap out of him, his mother had even been brought up to the school for that and he received three months detention and put on a kind of report where he had to have a little booklet signed by teachers and notes written about him in every lesson, he had to go to Professor McGonagall before and after lessons each day and wasn't allowed out of the common room apart from meal times and for lessons, not even on the weekends for a whole month. Another time was an incident involving Severus when they had decided hit him in the face with a stinging hex and knocked him flat out, Professor Slughorn was furious with them as it had in fact happened during a potions lesson and they were both punished severely being forced to scrub the Owlery with toothbrushes and no gloves on a cold winter morning and given six weeks detention with Filch in the dungeons. This time though they had a feeling it would be far worse than that.

"You don't think we'll be expelled do you?" James asked worriedly as they rounded the corner and headed along the corridor towards the staircase of Dumbledore's office.

"I don't know everyone is acting like this is something way worse than it is, we didn't actually _make_ Snivellus try to kill himself, we didn't use the Imperius curse on him or anything he's just gone loopy" Sirius shrugged a little chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

"Well, he did try to kill himself Sirius and besides you don't know what that little shit has said about us do you for all we know he could have made it all up said we forced him or tortured him or threatened to kill him in a brutal way if he didn't top himself" James replied.

"I wouldn't put anything past that slimy git it's all the same with those Slytherin scum, I can't fucking believe old Slughorn didn't even punish those death eaters for attacking us like that" Sirius growled angrily.

"Don't let yourself get wound up over it Pads, there are still plenty of people on our side we haven't done anything wrong remember, anyway it's Moony I'm worried about, what the hell is he doing hanging out with Snivellus in the hospital wing?" James shook his head.

"By the sounds of it he's actually taking care of him, from what I've heard but it could just be rumours, they've been friends for a while and he's been helping Severus get better, apparently he hasn't left the little gits side"

"We'll need to have some serious words with him, can't have our Remus being corrupted by scum like that, we'll need to talk some sense into him I don't understand how he can even look at Snape let alone actually be friends with him it makes me sick" James snarled as they stopped outside the little staircase.

"Our Moony isn't like them, he's perhaps just trying to be goodie two shoes Lupin sucking up to the teachers for extra credit or something you know how he is, he can be a right kiss up sometimes" Sirius sighed.

"I guess you're right" James replied looking up at the stone phoenix shaped staircase that had already been lowered for their arrival. "Ready?" James asked and Sirius nodded.

"Ready as I'll ever be, remember we've done nothing wrong" Sirius said and James nodded.

The two boy's headed up the staircase together stopping outside the large wooden door James raised a fist and knocked gingerly.

"Come in" Dumbledore's voice rang from inside the room. Taking a deep breath and shooting a worried glance at Sirius, James pushed the door open and the two of them stepped inside.

"Ah, I've been expecting you two, come and have a seat" Dumbledore said gesturing to the two chairs laid out in front of his enormous work desk littered with all kinds of trinkets, books and papers, his face was solemn without showing the slightest hint of emotion, James hated this, he hated not being able to read people. They made their way over to him quickly and sat down their hands nervously fidgeting in their laps.

"As I understand it some recent events have taken place resulting in the near suicidal death of a student at this school" he began slowly staring over his half-moon spectacles into the faces of the two boys. "I think you both know exactly who I am talking about, so do not even try to pretend you don't know what is happening or why you have been brought here it will not help you under any circumstances" the man said sternly.

"Yes Professor" they mumbled.

"Now, Professor Slughorn has taken a full account and a statement from Mr Snape as to exactly what happened on the day of his attempted suicide, we have also taken a statement from Mr Lupin whom I believe is close friends with Severus as Severus has been sharing his own concerns and fears as to what has been happening prior to the event" the elderly man said again.

Sirius and James glanced at each other nervously for a few moments.

Dumbledore shifted his hands around on the desk lifting up a notebook he opened it his pale blue eyes scanning over the pages as he flicked through them painfully slowly, the tension in the air was almost unbearable for the two boys as they sat there waiting for the verdict.

After a while Dumbledore nodded and closed the little book pushing it away from him slightly he clasped his hands together interlocking his fingers looking from one to the other.

"It seems that Mr Snape has stated that on the day of his attempted suicide another incident took place in the boy's toilet on the dungeon corridor, he has claimed that both of you were present there, an argument had taken place, wands were drawn but he was disarmed and cornered by both of you" Dumbledore began. "He states that he was called names, shouted at, physically abused as you both attacked him beating him until he was almost unconscious telling him he should die, then he has claimed that something absolutely vile, disgusting, horrific and obscene happened to him which was done by you, Mr Black" the older man said watching as Sirius' eyes grew wide.

"Severus has said you urinated on him, his chest, neck and face to be precise calling him 'filthy' and telling him that he 'needs a wash'" Dumbledore quoted angrily. "Now this is what was said to be the final straw that pushed Severus over the edge, this was the last of the many direct causes that lead to him actually trying to take his own life in such a brutal way in front of a classroom full of students, he claims the both of you along with Mr Pettigrew have been bullying him for several years now emotionally and physically, humiliating him, hurting him and making him feel dreadful about himself, you have been bullying him"

"Professor we-" James was cut off as Dumbledore held his hand up to silence them both.

"Bullying is something we do not tolerate at this school, this is not the only account of the bullying that has been taking place involving the two of your and Severus, Mr Lupin has also given his version of events saying he has witnessed you bullying Severus, both accounts match very well and-"

"Of course they match very well, they have sat in the hospital wing plotting this together, maybe not Remus so much but that Snape he is a trouble maker him and his friends are all aspiring to become death eaters!" Sirius jumped to his feet.

"Mr Black please sit down we are going to talk about this rationally not just fly off the handle at the slightest of things, if you interrupt me again I will be sending the both of you away" Dumbledore said sternly.

Sirius' mouth twisted horrible for a moment before he sank back into his chair biting the inside of his cheek in order to keep himself silent.

"As I was saying they were not the only eye witnesses to this, I have in fact had over thirty different students who will remain anonymous come forward and state they have seen you doing various different thing to Severus in a bullying manner" the old man continued. "As you know this behaviour is not tolerate at Hogwarts, it is completely unacceptable the way you have both behaved is shocking and disturbing to do something so foul to a fellow student to make him so low he wanted to take his own life in any way possible and is now lying helpless in a hospital bed is sickening and atrocious I hope you both are ashamed of yourselves"

Both Sirius and James hung their heads, not out of shame just to try and show the headmaster they were taking this seriously, oh yes they were taking it seriously but they still deemed that nothing was wrong and if they played their cards right they might get off the hook.

"I am a man of fairness and equal opportunities so I will give you a few minutes to give me your version of events and admit to anything or make me aware of anything you think I should know"

James and Sirius looked at one another awkwardly.

"We weren't bullying Snape, it was only a bit of fun at first he knew that we thought he could take it he never reacted and he isn't completely innocent in this he did call us names back, make hurtful comments, hex us and his friends just now attacked us, he isn't telling you the truth he isn't as innocent as he makes out to be" James began. "Cunning and manipulative is what all Slytherin's are and he is no different just because he is playing the innocence card like he could do no wrong and we're such terrible people it's all for attention!"

"He is just attention seeking I wouldn't put anything past Snape you don't know what he's really like sir he'll do anything it's all a front it's all fake he's into the dark arts him and his friends they are bad people they are all going to become death eaters he doesn't have feelings he doesn't care about any of this it's just Snape's way of crying out for attention because he never got any at home, he isn't upset he doesn't give a damn about anything but himself and his stupid Slytherin pride it's to get in good with the death eater cronies" Sirius insisted but Dumbledore shook his head.

"Mister Black that is quite enough, I want to hear your reasons behind bullying Severus, I know for certain he is not putting this on, he is in an awful state right now which has only been made worse by something I cannot divulge with you"

"We didn't bully him! He isn't all innocent here he's playing it up!" James insisted.

"That is ENOUGH" Dumbledore said sternly. "Now, seeing as neither of you have any intentions of telling me how this all came about or what has been going on, I have no choice but to announce your punishments" Dumbledore spoke looking from one to the other.

Both boy's held their breath nervously with anticipation.

"Please don't expel us, we don't want to leave just yet we love it here Professor" James said quickly and Dumbledore stared at him in confusion.

"Mr Potter I have no intention of expelling you, although your extreme, outrageous and downright disturbing behaviour is enough evidence to expel you I will however not, I have decided on something I personally feel with be a greater burden on you" Dumbledore spoke calmly.

"First of all I will be deducting every single house point from Gryffindor and the hour glass will be frozen so no more points can be added it will remain at nought until the start of next September" he announced and both of their faces dropped.

"But what about Quidditch and the house cup?" James gasped.

Dumbledore completely ignored him and continued on "Secondly, you will be removed from the Quidditch team until next September, you will also be in detention from now until the end of the school year, your wands will be confiscated and will have to be signed for by a Professor in a kind of log book, you will only be allowed them during lessons in which you will require a wand and nothing more, your Hogsmeade privileges will be suspended for exactly one year from now and all luxury items will be removed from your dormitories and locked away you will only have them back at the end of the year and finally you will be made to publically apologise to Severus once he is feeling well enough to leave the hospital wing hopefully in the new year" Dumbledore finished.

Both James and Sirius' mouths were hanging open they both looked as though they were about to burst into floods of tears.

"But that's not fair!" Sirius whined but Dumbledore shook his head.

"I feel this will be a very lax punishment for you considering the circumstances" Dumbledore sniffed slightly looking down the end of his long crooked nose at them.

Neither one of them said anything they just stared in shock, what on Earth were the other students going to think of them now?

"Please hand your wands over to Professor McGonagall when you leave, I have nothing more to say to either of you except I am thoroughly disgusted, disappointed and ashamed of you" Dumbledore shook his head at them.

Slowly they got to their feet and headed for the door, James glanced back sadly before closing it behind them. Well, at least neither of them got expelled.

That evening they had just finished dinner and Remus was busy cleaning Severus' wounds, he was still sedated to the point he couldn't move properly but he could speak much better now.

"Does it sting?" Remus asked as he dabbed carefully at Severus' healing wounds and scars.

"A little" Severus spoke quietly as Remus dabbed at the marks on his thighs.

"It won't for much longer now you're healing quite nicely" Remus replied tossing the cloth into the cauldron and dressing Severus back in his clean light blue nightshirt buttoning it up before he tucked him back under the covers.

"Remus I feel so sad" Severus mumbled as Remus sat down on the bed beside him.

"That's understandable, I'd be worried if you didn't feel upset but once today is over that's the worst part finished" Remus said kindly reaching out and gently holding Severus' hand.

"I'm also really worried" Severus slurred gazing up at Remus.

"Why?" Remus' brows knotted together in confusion.

"I'm worried you'll break up with me and leave me here on my own because I have too many problems, too much for you to cope with, you're too good for me Remus" Severus slurred tears welling up in his eyes.

"I promise I will NEVER break up with you Sev, you might have some problems but NONE of this is your fault and you can get through this I'll be here every step of the way I want to help you, I can cope with this fine trust me, it's hard having my... Condition and I can in some ways relate to the way people treat you as an outsider but there is no reason for them to treat you like that you're wonderful, I am not too good for you Sev, I love you so please don't be worried" Remus said sincerely looking Severus straight in the eye as the tears began to fall from the other boys eyes. "Hey come on, come here let's have a cuddle" Remus said shuffling over and wrapping his arms around Severus kissing his soft hair.

"I love you, Remus" Severus slurred slightly still weak from the sedative.

"And I love you too"

About two hours went by of Severus drifting in and out of sleep and enjoying Remus' cuddles when Madame Pomfrey came behind the curtain.

"You have visitors again tonight, are you feeling up to seeing anyone?" she asked calmly.

Severus stared at her thinking it through in his mind. "Yes please" he slurred quietly.

He watched as he drew back the curtain enough for the four boys to come shuffling through with smiles on their faces, Avery was clutching a something in his arms under his school cloak. Madame Pomfrey slipped out behind them drawing the curtain closed not wanting to intrude on their time together.

"How are you feeling?" Mulciber asked as they lifted the chairs from the stack in the other corner by the curtain and laid them out at Severus' bedside taking their seats around him.

"Not too bad" Severus replied slowly.

"Professor Slughorn said you've had a really rough day today, he hasn't told us anything about it though so we thought we'd come and see you and make sure you're alright" Evan said nervously fidgeting in his seat. The others shot him a look ordering him to be quiet Remus sat staring at them very uncomfortably.

"Today has been the shittiest day of my life" Severus slurred blinking slowly at them all.

"Well, Professor Slughorn told us to bring some more of your things or something that might help cheer you up so we, umm, went through your things again and I found this under your pillow…." Avery said pulling a piece of pink material out from under his cloak placing it on Severus' chest where he sat propped up in the bed.

Severus' eyes widened and a fiery blush spread all over his face, down his neck and to the tips of his ears as he stared at it.

Remus raised an eyebrow to him in confusion as he stared at the material, it was fairly old and had been used but well looked after probably for years now, a soft pastel pink in colour and knitted it appeared to be a baby blanket. Remus watched as Severus appeared to be straining trying to move obviously to hide the blanket so he reached out and tucked it completely under the bed covers on Severus' chest and the boy immediately calmed down but was still red in the face looking horribly embarrassed.

"We just figured because it was under your pillow hidden and it looks quite well cared for but like it's been used at the same time that it must mean something to you" Mulciber said trying to break the awkward tension in the air.

"It does…." Severus slurred.

"We also brought you chocolate" Regulus said resting a pile consisting of a large bar of Honeydukes chocolate, several chocolate frogs, two boxes of chocolate and a small chocolate cake in a box on the bedside table for him.

"Thank you it's very nice of you, you didn't need to do that" Severus smiled at them.

"We only wanted to help" Avery shrugged a little.

"It's very thoughtful of you" Remus smiled at him.

"We umm... Also had a word with Potter and Black for you" Mulciber said and the two boys in the bed stared at him with surprise.

"Well Avery started it really he kind of went mad and pinned my brother up by the throat against the dungeon wall and started having a go at him calling him names, scared the shit out of him, Mulciber and Evan had their wands to Potters throat, I also told him what people would think that he's not that stupid innocent little boy they think he is" Regulus said.

"Professor Slughorn stopped us from blasting them through the wall and they were sent to Dumbledore's office but don't worry we'll get them for you they had better be watching their backs" Avery sighed shaking his head a little looking very determined.

"Don't get yourselves into trouble because of me, I'm grateful you had words with them though" Severus smiled weakly.

"Well we aren't through with them yet, we'll work out a way to get our sweet revenge for you" Regulus smirked and Severus chuckled.

It went quiet for a few moments before Severus spoke again.

"You know…. Something happened this morning and I feel that because you've been so nice to me you deserve to know but please don't go around telling everyone yet I might be in here but I still know that they're talking about me out there and I'm not ready for them all to know I don't want to add to the rumours and gossip I can't handle it at the moment" Severus said slowly swallowing hard he glanced at Remus who gave him a reassuring nod and a gentle squeeze of the hand.

The others leaned in a little expectantly staring at him with a mixture of expressions.

"This morning the school was notified to something that happened during the night in Coke worth where I'm from at my parent's house" Severus said slowly. "Apparently the neighbours had rang the police, which are a Muggle force of authority who stop people from behaving dangerously and make them obey the law, and they went to the house in the early hours of the morning" Severus began tears welling up in his eyes, he had to stop speaking to fight them back.

"The neighbours told the police my dad had gone to the pub the night before and he had come home very late which caused an argument with my mother, the neighbours could hear them shouting and screaming and breaking things which lasted a few hours…." Severus began to sob and Remus wrapped his arms around him pulling him against his chest a hand gently rubbing at his back trying to soothe him.

"Do you want me to tell them the rest?" Remus asked calmly.

"Yes please" Severus whimpered into his chest.

"As Severus said, they had been having a violent row and smashing the house to bits and in the early hours of the morning the neighbours could hear someone shrieking and crashes then it all went quiet, they were worried that's when they called the police who arrived at the house and had to force entry" Remus explained and they all nodded with understanding. "They then searched the house and in the living room they found Severus' mother…." He took a deep breath. "They believed his father murdered her and when they went up the stairs in one of the bedrooms, the smallest one, they found his father hanging, it turns out he had murdered Severus' mother, his wife, and then killed himself" Remus swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat as Severus' continued to sob limply into his chest unable to do anything else, the sedatives were starting to wear off and Remus knew before long he would need a full dose again to keep him calm through the night.

"Oh god that is so awful" Avery gasped, Remus looked at them all their mouths were hanging open with shock, their faces pale, Mulciber was shaking his head in despair.

"I don't even know what to say apart from I'm sorry for your loss" Mulciber sighed.

"You have my greatest sympathy, that's a terrible thing to happen I hope everything turns out well for you, at least you have Remus by your side, and you have us your friends" Regulus said as Severus continued to sob weakly into Severus' chest.

Just when he was really starting to improve as well it's unfortunate but it's not Severus' fault" Remus said gazing down at the boy in his arms.

"You seem to be coping quite well with it though" Evan blurted out and Remus stared hard at him his eyes wide.

Severus mumbled something into Remus' chest and they all looked to the blonde.

"He's been heavily sedated all day it's just starting to wear off a little now he's still a bit drugged up" Remus explained and they all stared sadly at the boy.

"Are you going to be okay, Severus?" Mulciber asked gently.

Remus pulled back a little just enough for them to hear what Severus was saying.

"I guess so" he sniffled, his sobs ebbing away.

"You'll be alright Sev, I know you will" Remus said calmly as Severus hiccoughed.

They all sat quietly for a while talking about lighter subjects and telling Severus what work he had been missing during lessons which seemed to relax him somewhat, despite all he was going through he was still Severus Snape, worried about his homework.

"It's getting late we should be heading back, don't want to be caught by Filch out of hours" Avery yawned stretching upwards looking at his pocket watch.

"Yeah, thanks for coming I appreciate it" Severus slurred watching them all get to their feet and stack the chairs up back over in the corner again.

"No worries" Evan smiled as Avery leaned over and gave him a gentle hug.

"Sorry for your loss, I hope you feel better soon" he said before Mulciber moved in, they each hugged him in turn before waving goodbye and leaving closing the curtain behind them.

"So, mind telling me what this is?" Remus asked sliding his hand under the covers and resting it on the pink baby blanket watching the hot blush creeping back onto Severus' cheeks.

"It's my blanket…." Severus blushed looking away.

"Yeah but what's it for, what do you do with it?" Remus asked feeling very intrigued.

"I-I umm I like to…. Cuddle it when I feel insecure and sad, it relaxes me and makes me feel safe I like the feeling of it on my face because it's really soft I've had it since I was little" Severus blushed.

"Aw Sev, that's adorable" Remus grinned leaning over and kissing him on the lips.

"I take it to bed with me every night which is really embarrassing" Severus closed his eyes so he didn't see the expression on Remus' face.

"Do you feel better now it's here, did you miss it?" Remus asked a smile playing on his handsome features Severus gave a small weak nod.

"Yes…."

"That's so bloody cute" Remus grinned, pulling Severus into his arms and kissing him on the cheek.

"S'not cute" Severus mumbled still feeling extremely embarrassed.

Remus laughed. "Oh Sev, still as stubborn as ever I see"

"I'm not stubborn" he grumbled and then chuckled at his own statement.

Remus tutted playfully and rolled his eyes, at least Severus seemed a little bit better tonight.

The curtain drew back a little way again as Madame Pomfrey appeared carrying her usual little metal tray of things.

"I'll just give you the rest of this sedative before bed and it will help you sleep" Madame Pomfrey said resting the tray on the bed next to Severus.

Severus watched as she prepared it as usual, moving closer she rolled up his sleeve staring uncomfortably at his arms. When she looked him in the eye he automatically averted them.

"Severus, why didn't you come to me or speak to someone when you did this to yourself?" she asked slowly.

Severus said nothing.

"He came to me, well I discovered them and made a promise I wouldn't tell anyone I don't have to heart to break promises especially not to Severus so I kept it quiet, he did improve for a while and I know for a fact he doesn't done any of these recently" Remus spoke clearly making sure the nurse understood that Severus had been improving on that scale.

"Well I won't get on at you today but if you feel you need to talk about them I'm here, it's good that you haven't harmed yourself recently and I want to make sure that you don't do this anymore, you're safe now and everything will get better soon" she said slowly picking up the syringe.

"I don't hurt myself anymore, Remus has made sure of that he has helped me" Severus said smiling up at Remus.

"In that case you should be really proud of yourself, Remus" Madame Pomfrey smiled cleaning the area of skin on Severus' arm. "Nice deep breath in again" she said pushing the needle into Severus' skin, he whimpered and winced in pain for a few moments before she withdrew it disposing of everything again.

"Right, you have plenty of juice, if you need anything then you know where I am I will see you both in the morning" she said. "Goodnight"

"Night" the boys said as she pulled the curtain shut and the lights dimmed. They heard the backroom door click shut and Severus' hand snaked its way under the covers clutching his blanket he turned on his side before the drugs kicked in and snuggled up to Remus pressing the soft material to his face breathing deeply on it.

"So that's what you do with it" Remus chuckled burying himself under the covers wrapping his arms around Severus. "That's so sweet you have a cuddle blanket" Remus grinned kissing Severus' hair feeling the boy starting to go limp in his arms. Although Remus couldn't see his face, he knew Severus was blushing.

"I love you, Remus" Severus slurred slightly his eyelids growing heavy everything seemed to be slowing down again as the sedatives took effect.

"I love you too, Severus, so much" Remus smiled, he lay quietly stroking Severus' hair feeling the boy fully relaxed his breathing deep and even, Severus was sleeping.

Two days went by and Madame Pomfrey had stopped heavily sedating Severus to see how he would cope without that amount of drugs in his system.

It was evening time just after dinner and Severus was sitting propped up in bed reading through a book, he hadn't mentioned his parents or anything since the other day but Remus knew he was still upset. He had woken up both past nights crying and snuffling against Remus' chest, he seemed worse in the morning as well but Remus put it down to the fact he was probably counting the days and hours since they passed in such a tragic way.

"Hey I'm not finished reading that" Remus chuckled as Severus turned the page quickly.

"Come on Remus, you need to learn to read a bit faster" Severus replied with a smile turning the page back over so Remus could finish the last few lines.

"Indeed I do, hey listen Sev, do you fancy having a bath this evening you haven't really had a proper one since you've been here…." Remus said taking the book from Severus' hands and closing it resting it down on the bed.

"Are you trying to say I smell?" Severus raised an eyebrow at him.

"No you don't smell, I just thought you might like to have a nice bath above all else it will make you feel better" Remus smiled.

Severus went quiet blushing and staring down at his lap.

"You know I can't walk that far or do that much by myself" he blushed an even deeper shade of crimson.

"Well, I can help you can't I?" Remus offered brightly.

"But I'll be naked..."

"So? You're a boy you haven't got anything I haven't seen between my own legs and besides I have briefly seen your bits before" Remus felt his cheeks glow a little.

"I guess that's true... Promise you won't laugh, okay?" Severus said glancing up at Remus.

"I promise I won't laugh at whatever it is you don't want me to" Remus smiled back.

"Good, in that case, let's go" Severus smiled pushing back the covers and swinging his legs over the side of the bed making to get up. Remus jumped out of bed beside him almost falling over in the process, Severus turned to stare at him in confusion before Remus came running over to him and lifted him up bridal style.

"What the hell were you doing falling out of bed?" Severus laughed as Remus grabbed Severus' towel and carried him out from behind the curtain.

"Being too clever to get out of bed like a normal person" Remus grinned as he nudged open the bathroom door, reaching out with his fingers he closed and locked it behind them tossing the towel onto the large bottom of the bath where the shampoo, soap and other toiletries sat unopened.

Remus gently and carefully rested Severus down on his feet, he rested a hand to the back of the door to help support himself watching as Remus rinsed the bottom of the bath round and plugged it up, turning on the taps Severus watched the warm water and soap bubbles pouring out.

"It smells like cherries and vanilla" Severus commented as the scent wafted through the air.

"Indeed it does" Remus smiled rolling up the sleeves of his own nightshirt.

A minute or so later the bath was fully, Remus turned off the taps staring down at the nice deep bath. He slowly turned to look at Severus who seemed quite nervous.

Remus moved towards Severus, reaching out slowly he began to fumble nervously with the buttons on Severus' dark blue nightshirt.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked quietly as he gently pushed the shirt over Severus' shoulders watching it flutter to the ground landing around his bare feet.

Severus nodded and his breath hitched in his throat when he felt Remus tucking his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear, he was shaking nervously.

Slowly Remus pulled his underwear down and his hands instantly flew to cover himself feeling his underwear slide down his legs onto the floor.

"There's no need to be so shy, Sev, I'm not going to laugh at you or hurt you, you can trust me" Remus spoke softly leaning forward and wrapping his arms carefully around the naked boy in front of him.

"I do trust you" Severus replied relaxing slightly.

"Then come on, let's get you in the bath" Remus said and before Severus could say anything else he scooped him up again earning a yelp of surprise, moving over to the bath Remus lowered Severus down into the warm deep water which came up to around his chest.

"It's so warm" Severus smiled as Remus knelt down at the side of the bath next to him trying to keep his eyes focused on Severus's face.

"It should make you feel much better" Remus smiled reaching for the soap trying to distract his attention from the naked boy in front of him. He picked up the shampoo and a cup dropping the cup into the water he sat watching Severus running his fingers over the healing wounds and scars over his wrists, his other hand still covering his genitals.

"Why do bad things happen to me, Remus?" he asked finally after a few minutes of silence, he looked up from his arm to gaze into Remus' eyes.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure, you're a good person who bad things happen to and you certainly don't deserve it, you're a kind sweet person and things will get better I promise" Remus smiled.

"It just seems that everything and everyone I ever come into contact with hates me just because I exist" Severus sighed sadly turning his attention back to his arms.

"Hey, listen you know that's not true" Remus said cupping Severus' face in his hands and turning it to face him holding him there. "You're in close contact with me and I love you, we're together Sev if I didn't like you I wouldn't be with you would I? I think your kind, sweet, funny, incredibly clever and you're beautiful, you have everything Sev you just need more confidence in yourself" Remus smiled leaning in and kissing Severus softly on the lips.

"You're so sweet, Remus" Severus blushed.

"Not as sweet as you though, Sev" Remus smiled leaning in and kissing him again, he reached for the cup filling it with water before he pulled back he tilted Severus' head back a little resting his hand over the boys forehead he tipped the water over Severus' hair.

Once his hair was wet through Remus popped open the bottom of shampoo and squeezed some into the palm of his hand, closing the top he began to massage it through Severus' hair. Picking up the cup again he filled it with water and began to rinse Severus' hair slowly running his fingers through it from roots to tip.

"I feel like a baby having to be washed" Severus chuckled as he moved his hand away from his genitals. Remus was having to force himself to keep his eyes on Severus' hair whilst trying to ignore the waves of heat flooding down to exactly the place they shouldn't.

"Don't pretend you're not enjoying having me do everything for you" Remus teased and Severus playfully batted his arm.

"Why don't you pretend you're not having fun washing me" Severus blushed a little.

"That would be impossible" Remus flushed leaning over and kissing Severus on the cheek.

He carefully picked up a new flannel dipping it into the water he rested it to Severus' back and started gently rubbing his skin with it. Severus' eyes were fixated on Remus as the blonde washed over his shoulders and moved slowly down his back sinking his hand under the water again to rub his lower back and move around washing his sides. Remus couldn't help but stare at Severus' body he was skinny but very slender, a very boyish angular figure and pale his longer ebony hair hanging slick and wet to his shoulders almost like a curtain. He tried to ignore the cuts and scars as he moved his hand back up washing carefully across his chest watching the trickles of water slowly running down his soft skin tickling his tiny pink nipples. Remus swallowed hard trying to ignore the throbbing sensation growing rapidly in his boxers hoping it would go away before he had to stand up and Severus would see it, otherwise Severus would think him some sort of pervert pretending to be helpful but secretly molesting him in the bath.

Remus blushed furiously as his hand moved across Severus' navel his eyes resting on the silver glinting under the water of his piercing. Remus had to practically drag his own hand away before he went any lower he could feel the heat radiating from his face and glanced up at Severus whose face mirrored his own.

"I-I think I can wash myself... Down there" Severus stammered gesturing to his crotch before his hand delved back under the water.

Remus stared at him intently his mouth open slightly as he watched the expression on Severus' face as the boy gently slid his foreskin back and began to wash himself underneath before pushing it back over and turning his attention to Remus once again.

"Is something wrong?" Severus frowned slightly looking at the odd expression crossing Remus' face.

"No of course not it's just... I don't want to sound creepy or anything but you have a really nice figure" Remus blushed nervously.

"Oh thank you" Severus smiled feeling his own cheeks glow slightly. "Can I get out now?" he asked shyly.

"Yes, course" Remus said reaching over and nervously grabbing the towel, he opened it up quickly holding it wide open in front of him enough to shield his obvious erection.

Severus stood up slowly the water rushing down his skin dripping back into the bath tub Remus blushed as he caught a full view of Severus' private parts hanging flaccid and pink between his legs. Severus rested his hands on Remus' shoulders as Remus helped him out of the bath wrapping the towel around him as he rested Severus carefully on his feet.

"Are you alright?" the werewolf asked following Severus as he took a few steps forward.

"Yeah, if I take this back through Madame Pomfrey will put it through the wash again" Severus spoke suddenly bending over to pick up his nightshirt, Remus bumped into his backside and Severus fell forward into the door banging his shoulder against the hard wood.

"Ah!"

"Sev, are you alright?" Remus asked worriedly reaching out and helping Severus back to his feet Severus' face was on fire and he looked away biting his bottom lip. "Sev?" Remus asked worriedly.

Remus didn't need to wait for a verbal response as Severus' eyes dropped between them to the obvious tented bulge in Remus' nightshirt.

"Sev I…."

"It's alright you can't help it, it's natural every guy gets them" Severus shrugged slightly feeling very flustered. Remus had gotten hard over him, over seeing him naked like that and it excited him a little to know this.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" Remus asked trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Yeah my legs are aching" Severus nodded.

Remus moved around and scooped him up bridal style once again, unlocking the door he kicked it open and left the room, Severus tossed the nightshirt onto the side where some of their other dirty clothes lay, still wrapped in his towel, Remus carried him back over to the bed behind the curtain and sat him on the edge.

"Your grey nightshirt is clean do you want that one on or the white pyjamas?" Remus asked opening his bag of things and turning to Severus.

"Mm pyjamas" Severus smiled and Remus pulled them from the bag.

Severus dropped his towel pushing to the floor he smirked as Remus moved over to him, the blonde boy bent down pushing his pyjama bottoms over his legs his eyes focused on Severus' penis

Quickly, Remus shifted them up and Severus wiggled his bum around on the bed as Remus pulled them up over his hips and grabbed his top helping him into it be began to do the buttons on the front up so Severus sat in his baggy satin white pyjamas perched on the end of the bed. While they were gone apparently Madame Pomfrey had chosen the time to change the bed covers, Severus swung his legs back up on the bed immediately burying himself under the covers rummaging around until he found his blanket and seemingly relaxed considerably.

"You looked worried for a second there" Remus chuckled pulling off his nightshirt turning around to hide his erection straining against the fabric of his underwear before he reached into his own bag and pulled out a fresh nightshirt yanking it over his head he moved around the other side of the bed and flopped down on his stomach.

"I was I thought she might have moved it and lost it or something" Severus breathed fiddling it through his fingers.

"It's so cute you have it though" Remus smiled making Severus blush. "I just want to take care of you" Remus smiled and Severus shifted down the bed a little to cuddle up to him burying his face in his blanket into Remus' chest. "Which reminds me... a letter came this morning" Remus began stroking Severus' hair, the boy instantly tensed up.

"What's happened now? Don't tell me I don't want to know any more bad things" Severus said quickly feeling panic washing over him.

"What? No, nothing bad at all it's actually really good news" Remus began but Severus started to shake and sob in his arms.

"Oh no, Severus don't get upset, not every letter is going to be a bad one" Remus explained kissing his boyfriend's soft fluffy hair.

"I know it's just... I feel I don't know I feel like everything has just given up on me that life doesn't want me here anymore" Severus whimpered.

"I don't want you to think like that, ever, life hasn't been kind to you recently but none of it is your fault at all I want you to know that you are loved and although things have been rough they can and will get better, let me protect you and show you that nothing bad will happen again" Remus spoke rubbing small soothing circles on Severus' lower back.

"That's not the whole problem it's what about if and when I ever get out of here, what will everyone else in the school and say think about me, what about Potter and Black, what about my friends, what about everything, where the hell am I going to live?" Severus sobbed.

"With me"

Severus froze tears still running down his face he turned and stared up into Remus' face. "What?" he frowned slightly.

"With me" Remus repeated with a smile.

"Remus I can't just go and live with you, what about your parents-"

"They've already said yes" Remus smiled and Severs' mouth hung open with surprise. He opened and closed it several times unable to think of anything else to say.

"I asked them a couple of days ago, when you were first sedated I asked Madame Pomfrey to send my letter home to my parents, I explained everything and asked if you could come and live with us and they said yes, look" Remus smiled turning over he fumbled around in his bag pulling the letter out, pulling it from its envelope he unfolded it and wrapped his arms back around a confused looking Severus holding the letter out to him they both began to read.

_Dear Remus;_

_I don't know where to start with this but I just want to say that what you've told me about what has happened to your boyfriend brought tears to my eyes, I am very sorry to hear this has happened to him life can be terribly cruel sometimes and it is with only those around us, the good ones, that can make it better. _

_How is Severus doing? I am really proud of you, and so is your father for being by his side through this I know a lot of people wouldn't be able to cope, you're such a good boy Remus and I hope you're looking after him well, keep him strong your father also sends his sympathy for everything that has happened and we both hope he is feeling much better soon. _

_And yes Severus is more than welcome to come and live with us, your father and I are looking forward to meeting him in the summer from what you've told us and said in your description he sounds lovely although I do wish you had told us you were gay rather than just springing it on me like that but as long as you're happy that's fine by me. _

_I really hope everything improves for you and that Dumbledore severely punishes those rotten little toe rags they deserve everything they get, I remember when I was at Hogwarts and bullies would be strung up by their thumbs in the dungeons and left for a couple of hours, maybe they should reinstate that just for this one occasion? _

_Anyway I hope you are both doing well, your father has just gotten a new job at the Ministry so now we have a little bit more money coming it that is really helping. Take care of yourselves, keep me updated on how things are going and we'll see you both in the summer. _

_Lots of Love Mum and Dad x_

Severus lay and stared at the letter in Remus' hands unable to even think of what to say about it.

"See, people do care about you Severus" Remus smiled still holding the letter out in front of them.

"I-I can't believe it…." Severus breathed his eyes still scanning over the paragraphs of writing.

"Well believe it because they said yes, you can come home with me and come and live with me and my family you're more than welcome to... that is... if you want to of course" Remus smiled hopefully.

"Want to? I'd absolutely love to, Remus" Severus grinned throwing his arms around Remus ignoring the pain it brought him, he buried his face in Remus' neck sniffing loudly.

"Sev are you crying?" Remus asked and his boyfriend nodded.

"But I'm crying because I'm happy, I was getting worried about what would happen to me I thought they might send me away somewhere to live with Muggles or something" Severus sniffled.

"No, I told Madame Pomfrey I was asking if you could stay with me and now they've said yes you can and you won't be going anywhere bad you'll be coming to live with me and my parents" Remus grinned cuddling Severus tightly.

"Thank you so much, when you send a letter back can I write something on it to thank them please?"

"Of course you can" Remus laughed kissing Severus' cheek softly.

Shifting his face, Severus leaned in and pressed his lips to Remus' in a warm tender kiss, his lips parting slightly as his tongue trailed along Remus' bottom lip asking for entrance. Remus let out a soft moan opening his mouth as Severus' tongue made its way nervously inside flicking against Remus' own.

Remus' left hand made its way up slowly to cup Severus' cheek, his fingers slowly curled around the back of the boy's neck drawing him in closer deepening the kiss as their tongues began to pick up a slow rhythm rolling together.

Severus let out a deep throaty groan as Remus' tongue pushed on Severus' a little he drew back his mouth so their tongues were out but still sliding together before Remus gently drew Severs' tongue into his mouth sucking on it softly he felt Severus' breath hitch in his throat.

Remus let out a soft breathy moan as he gently drew Severus' bottom lip into his mouth suckling lightly on it and nipping at it, he opened his eyes as he let go and moved to kiss Severus again watching the expressions of excitement and possibly arousal washing over Severus' pretty face.

Severus shifted a little closer to Remus something hard pressing into the werewolf's stomach and he moaned at the feeling. Severus was getting hard. Very slowly Remus' hand began to wander downwards slowly down Severus' body, passing over his slender chest, down over his stomach closer and closer until-

"Good afternoon boy's" Madame Pomfrey said pushing her way through the curtain. Both of them sprang apart blushing furiously and trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked looking from one to the other.

"No we were just... talking" Remus lied. "My parents sent a letter back and they said Severus can come and live with us" he grinned and Madame Pomfrey's face split into a broad smile.

"How nice, at least that's one less thing to worry about" she said. "However... I have just received some news that your parent's funeral will take place in four days and-"

"NO PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME!" Severus squealed panic washing over him and he began to thrash again.

"Severus!" Remus said grabbing his boyfriend by the arms trying to hold him still as Severus buried his face under the covers determined not to hear what Madame Pomfrey was trying to say.

"Severus please listen-"

"NO I don't want to go, don't make me!" he cried restlessly as Remus moved under the covers with him pulling him tightly into his arms.

"Severus it's alright" Remus soothed trying to hold his boyfriend still in his arms as Severus began to gasp for breath struggling against him his eyes wide. Remus quickly pulled him out from under the covers.

"He's having a panic attack" Madame Pomfrey said quickly heading back over to the curtain.

"Keep him still, make him take slow deep breaths and keep talking to him don't let him hyperventilate himself or start thrashing" she instructed before disappearing behind the curtain.

Remus was starting to panic a little himself as Severus began coughing his eyes wide and his face pale.

"It's alright Sev, please just calm down I'm here nobody is making you do anything just relax everything is fine" Remus said quickly as Severus began to splutter.

"I'm gonna be sick" he coughed still gasping for air.

Remus reached over and quickly grabbed the little cardboard bowl from the bedside table and shoved it quickly onto Severus' lap. Severus coughed several more times before he vomited into it his whole body shaking.

"I can't breathe" he gasped.

Remus was terrified he wrapped his arms tightly around Severus as the boy began to flail again lashing out at himself.

Remus could have cried with relief when Madame Pomfrey appeared carrying another little metal dish, she placed it straight onto the bed next to Severus she took his arm quickly and shifted up his pyjama sleeve to his elbow. Severus was struggling, panicking and gasping for air. Remus was trying his best not to pin him so he didn't cause him any further pain or stress he didn't want Severus to think he was trapped that would only make the situation worse.

"Severus please stay still for a moment" Madame Pomfrey said firmly as she prepared the syringe with the clear liquid tapping it for air she didn't hesitate before she sunk the needle into Severus' skin. The boy yelped in pain feeling the needle pierce his skin and a few moments later it was gone and a little plaster at in its place.

Remus watched as Severus' breathing began to slow and deepen he started to fall limp very quickly.

"Want... lie on stomach..." he mumbled his whole body relaxing into the bed.

Remus glanced at Madame Pomfrey for a moment before he carefully moved the bowl of sick onto the floor, gently and very carefully he moved Severus so the boy lay on his stomach relaxing even further into the bed his inky black hair strewn across the pillow in stark contrast to the snowy white bedding.

Remus felt incredibly sorry for Severus, each time his parents were mentioned he seemed to completely flip. Even though he didn't particularly show it Remus knew he was still very upset about what happened and wasn't ready to talk about it any time soon, maybe in a while once the difficult time has passed and the emotional wounds are not so fresh.

"Does that feel better?" Remus asked as Severus gazed up at him looking incredibly dazed.

"He'll be alright, I think I was just too soon" Madame Pomfrey said gently as Remus tucked Severus in properly.

Remus watched Madame Pomfrey go before he lay back down facing Severus watching the dazed upset boy lie there blinking slowly at him his lips parted slightly.

A few days had passed and it was the day before Severus' parent's funeral, two days ago he had been taken off sedation when Madame Pomfrey deemed him to be calm enough not to need it and nothing more was mentioned what so ever about his parents, instead Remus helped take Severus' mind off of things by going through some of the homework the other's had been bringing them so they could stay caught up with the rest of the class. This seemed to relax Severus as he could become absorbed in his work and explain things in detail to Remus. However Remus knew Severus was still fragile and was still not showing his feelings about his parent's deaths or much about his attempted suicide just over a week ago.

"Remus could I have a word with you please?" Madame Pomfrey asked poking her head around the curtain. Both of them looked up from their writing and stared at her, Remus nodded and got up following her out quickly.

She led him a slight distance away before turning to face him.

"I just want to let you know that because tomorrow is the day of Severus' parent's funeral I am planning to fully sedate him for the entire day" she explained and Remus glanced back over at the curtain feeling a pang of sadness for the boy.

"But he seems so much better today" Remus sighed.

"He might seem it now but when tomorrow comes it will be a different story, I was originally going to say that if he so wished he could go to the funeral as long as he is accompanied by a small group of people but I don't know as he is emotionally stable enough to cope with it and I don't think it would be right to test his boundaries especially not right now"

"He was a little restless during the night last night but he seemed to be calm by this morning I don't know if it's related but if he really isn't ready for it then I agree it wouldn't be right to push him" Remus replied biting his bottom lip.

"So I plan on sedating him fully early in the morning so he will be unconscious the entire day, I know it doesn't seem right or fair by him but I think that it could be too distressing for him" the nurse said slowly.

"Should I... give him the option on whether or not he goes to the funeral, I mean they are his parents and if he says no at least he's had a say in the matter, I know Severus and I think that if he doesn't get his say or doesn't get a choice he will feel inadequate" Remus suggested.

Madame Pomfrey went quiet for a minute or so before she spoke again. "You'll need to be really careful how you word it, if he does want to go then we'll need to arrange something but if he doesn't I still will need to fully sedate him whether he likes it or not"

"So you mean... you're not going to tell him you're planning on drugging him up, or you are going to force him?" Remus' eyes went wide.

"No you misunderstand I will tell him but it will be later on tonight I don't want him to have time to think about it too much, but if the worst comes to the worst I will have to force him it is my duty to protect the students and if forcing him into full sedation is the best way of helping him cope then it is what I have to do" she said calmly.

Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He really couldn't do very much in this situation it was a difficult one to be in even for Remus seeing his boyfriend like that after he seemed so much better the past couple of days, he could get out of bed and walk a little way, he didn't need his painkillers unless he was straining himself doing anything, he was talkative and seemed very calm and quite genuinely happy it was a shame in some ways to be kind of taking it away from him.

"I'll let you have a think about it for now, but yes definitely offer him the choice it is up to him if he wants to go or not but let me know if he does by later on this evening and we can sort something out the funeral isn't until half eleven in the morning so we've got plenty of time" she smiled weakly and Remus nodded.

"Okay I'll be sure to let you know" Remus replied heading back behind the curtain he smiled at Severus who looked up eagerly when he came back.

"Is everything okay?" Severus asked as Remus sat back down in front of him on the bed, it appeared the boy had been writing furiously while Remus was away.

"Oh yes its fine, it's just... I don't want you getting upset about this but Madame Pomfrey says it is entirely up to you if you want to go to the funeral tomorrow morning" Remus swallowed nervously watching the mixture of expressions washing over Severus' face.

Severus went very quiet.

Did he want to go to the funeral, somewhere in his mind was screaming yes he had to they were his parents he would be insane not to go, but the vast majority of his brain and his heart told him not to that it wouldn't be a good idea, that his parents didn't give a damn about him when he was alive why the hell would they care if he went to their funeral, they wouldn't of course.

Remus continued to stare at the boy who was looking down at his lap he appeared to be having an inner battle with himself.

"Severus?" Remus asked after a long while of silence.

"No I don't want to go" he said simply and picked up his quill dipping it into the inkwell he continued to write although his hands were shaking a little bit.

Remus nodded "Okay" and thought it best to leave it at that and not say anything else, upsetting Severus right now would be a very bad thing to do something he really didn't want to witness again seeing him need to be sedated by force because he had flipped. The best way to handle it was to drop the subject and pick up a different conversation on something that could take both their minds off of it.

It was late that evening just after the others had gone, turns out that Avery had been given detention writing lines because he had decided to throw a bucket of toilet water over James and Sirius from the first floor and it had soaked right through them but he had only been given detention because of the amount of mess it made that Filch had to clear up and unfortunately for Avery Filch had only just cleaned those floors.

"Come here gorgeous" Remus grinned wrapping his arms around Severus from behind as he leaned against the bed just after changing into his favourite grey nightshirt.

"You never call me that" Severus blushed feeling Remus press himself flush against his back.

"Really? Because maybe I should you know because you are very, very gorgeous" Remus purred against Severus' ear.

Severus felt himself go hot all over and smirked shyly to himself looking back over his shoulder at Remus whose arms were draped around his waist.

Remus buried his face in the side of Severus' neck leaning down slightly so he could reach better he inhaled deeply. "You smell lovely too" he breathed exhaling slowly against Severus' supple skin making the boy shudder visibly.

"Remus I'm-"

"Oh, you're ready for bed good I've just brought your juice" Madame Pomfrey smiled appearing round the curtain, she moved over and placed the jug on the bedside table as Remus let go of Severus.

She watched them get into bed side by side and fall back against the propped over fluffed pillows making themselves comfortable together.

"Severus I have something I need to talk to you about" Madame Pomfrey said gently moving closer to the bed.

"If it's about tomorrow-"

"Please let me finish" she sighed and he nodded slowly fear creeping up his chest, it couldn't possibly be more bad news.

"As I have said to Remus earlier, I think that tomorrow it would be the right idea if I was to put you on full sedation all day" the nurse told him straight, she wasn't about to mess around and beat around the bush as one would say.

Severus' eyes went wide. "Why, what I going to happen to me, have I don't something wrong?" he asked worriedly looking from Remus to Madame Pomfrey and back again.

"No you haven't done anything wrong it's just I don't think it would be wise or healthy if tomorrow you were left conscious all day, seeing as you do not wish to attend the funeral for your own good it would be best to knock you out and in a way... skip tomorrow" she explained as Severus lay staring at her feeling stunned by her proposal.

"You think I won't be able to cope don't you?"

When Madame Pomfrey didn't reply Severus nodded slowly staring down at his lap.

"It's for your own good Severus I know you are dreading tomorrow, maybe if you did just sleep through it then you'll feel better" Remus said gently and Severus nodded.

"I'd rather you were willing and would consent to me sedating you than to just knock you out-"

"You were going to do it either way!" Severus gasped.

"Severus it is my duty to protect the students you being one of them, I would only do something for your benefit and whatever I thought was necessary to keep you safe" she said calmly.

He stared at her suspiciously for a few moments. There was an awkward silence.

"I'll leave you both to get some rest, goodnight" she said turning and walking away, with the closure of the backroom door the lights dimmed.

Severus immediately turned on his side snuggling up into Remus' chest entangling their legs under the covers he sighed as he felt Remus' warm strong arms wrap around him. This is where he wanted to be right now, and tomorrow, he wanted to be in Remus' arms where he felt safe and protected and secure knowing that his boyfriend wouldn't let any harm come to him.

"You okay?" Remus asked after a while and Severus nodded against his chest.

"Yeah I just want to be in your arms and stay here like this forever and forget all the bad things that have happened to both of us and just enjoy the now" Severus breathed feeling Remus cuddle him tighter.

"You can be, I do love you Sev I want you to always remember that and I'm going to keep reminding you, I love when I cuddle you that you feel so delicate and fragile like you could break and you're so gentle and light like even a gust of wind could blow you away" Remus smiled kissing Severus' hair softly.

"I love you too Remus, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here right now you don't understand how grateful I am to you for saving me and I'm really grateful to you parents to for letting me come and live with you I know I haven't met them yet and they're already being so kind to me it feels almost alien to me"

"It doesn't have to feel alien to you, Sev, things to do get better and they will I know they will once tomorrow it out of the way it is a fresh start, it's Christmas in just over a week now and I'm really excited to be spending it with you" Remus smiled feeling Severus cuddle even closer breathing deeply into his chest taking in the warm scent of his soft skin and the fabric of his black pyjamas.

"Me too, Remus, me too" Severus yawned closing his eyes.

It wasn't long before both boys had drifted off their heads filled with pleasant dreams of what the next few weeks and months could hold for them, exciting times were approaching and neither of them could wait to see what would happen next...


	8. Release

The next morning arrived and it was the day everyone had been dreading.

Remus woke early rubbing his tired eyes he gazed down at Severus' still sleeping form in his arms. Remus was worried about today, worried about Severus' mental state especially seeing as he had woken him up several times during the night unable to sleep or feeling increasingly anxious but he seemed to be sleeping peacefully now.

Remus felt a small stirring in his arms and a soft groan from Severus, he smiled to himself.

"Morning gorgeous" he greeted as Severus' dark eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning Remus" Severus smiled back stretching out his legs under the covers. "I didn't sleep very well last night" he sighed, snuggling back into Remus' arms.

"I know you kept waking up and shuffling around, are you feeling alright now though?" Remus asked stroking a few fly away hairs from Severus' face.

Severus let out a small sigh. "As well as I can be given that it's the day of both of my parent's funerals"

"Come here" Remus said pulling him into his arms kissing his silky black hair. "After today things will get better" he smiled.

"I hope you're right" Severus sighed.

Madame Pomfrey came bustling through the curtain looking anxious and worried carrying a small tray of items and a jug of freshly iced pumpkin juice.

"Good morning boys are you feeling alright?" she asked resting the tray and jug on the bedside table.

"Not so bad thanks" Severus grumbled into his boyfriend's chest.

"Right well, if you want to pop into the bathroom and have a wash go to the toilet I'll bring you something to eat for when you get back and then I'll give you the sedative" she explained watching Severus tense in Remus' arms and nod slowly.

"Alright I will see you in a bit then" she said moving over across the shielded area to tidy some of the things on the other table.

Slowly Severus sat himself up, Remus jumped out of bed and moved around to Severus' side taking his hands he helped him from the bed and draped an arm around his lower back.

"Toilet?" Remus asked and Severus nodded.

Slowly Remus helped his lover out from behind the curtain and helped him across the room.

"I'll wait out here call me if you need anything" Remus smiled leaning forward and pressing his lips to Severus' forehead.

"Alright, see you in a minute" Severus replied with a smile disappearing inside the bathroom.

A couple of minutes later he emerged looking bright and happy smelling strongly of peppermint. Remus gently draped an arm back around his waist and led him back behind the curtain and into his bed.

"Here you are boy's, make sure you get plenty to drink I'll be back in a couple of minutes" Madame Pomfrey smiled handing them both a plate of toast and freshly sliced fruit.

"Thank you" they nodded before tucking in.

A few minutes later Madame Pomfrey reappeared lifting up their empty plates and clearing them away before reappearing as Severus finished a large goblet full of juice.

"What time is the funeral starting?" he asked in a small voice shifting down into the bed covers feeling Remus wrap his arms around him.

"Around eleven" Madame Pomfrey said calmly rinsing off her hands and pulling on a pair of fresh latex gloves and reaching into the tray.

A small sniffle caught Remus' attention and he pulled Severus further into his arms. "Come here Severus" he said softly cuddling his lover gently in his arms.

"Do you want me to give you a minute?" Madame Pomfrey asked in a low soft voice.

Severus reached up shakily wiping the fresh tears from his cheeks and shook his head. "No thank you I just want this day over with" he sniffed.

"Very well" Pomfrey said reaching into the tray and opening the fresh syringe, popping the top on a small bottle with the needle she drew the liquid into it tapping for air and squeezing a small amount out. "Okay, if you roll up your sleeve for me please" she said. Remus lifted Severus' arm smiling gently at him as he rolled up the sleeve t just past his elbow.

"Okay sit back and relax your arm" Pomfrey said watching Severus lie back against the pillow. She moved over to his side lifting his arm and wiping it clean before moving the needle towards it. "Nice deep breath in for me please" she said sliding the needle into his soft skin. Severus let out a small sound of discomfort and cringed when she removed the needle from his pale skin disposing of the items and pulling off her gloves.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked staring at Severus.

"Yes I'm fine" he said slowly starting to fall limp.

"Remus can you help me?" he slurred blinking very slowly.

"Of course what do you want me to do?" Remus asked quickly knowing it wouldn't be long before Severus was asleep.

"I want to lie on my tummy" Severus slurred slumping back against the pillows.

"Alright" Remus said pushing the pillows down, he moved around and helped to lower and turn Severus over so he was flat on his stomach lying comfortably on the bed. Remus lifted the covers and draped them up to his ribs so he didn't get too hot and lay down beside him leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

"Love you" Severus slurred his eyes barely even open.

"I love you too" Remus smiled kissing his boyfriend again feeling him go completely limp in his arms.

"That was quick" Remus commented and Madame Pomfrey nodded.

"Yes he will be unconscious nearly all day as it starts to wear off he will probably come round but he just won't be able to say or do very much but we'll have to see when the time comes.

"Is there anything he will need or anything I need to do for him?" Remus asked quickly.

"He should be alright you could just make sure he's not too warm or getting cold just keep him comfortable and if he wakes up try talking to me and see how responsive he is" she replied moving over towards the edge of the curtain.

"Alright, it's probably for the best he sleeps through it I mean he seems to be alright but to be honest I think he's trying to suppress his emotions for today, I know that if he was fully conscious around the time of the funeral he would be very distressed by it no matter how he tries to play it off" Remus sighed stroking a few fly away hairs from Severus' soft face.

"Yes that's exactly what I was worried about, I was afraid that he might suddenly break down and after the progress he has been making it would be a shame to have him put right back to the start" she replied. "I think that he may be a little upset about this afterwards but nothing compared to the potential state he could be in if we had left him conscious, he's still fragile although he has improved a fair amount I do think he still needs some time this has been a real unfortunate knock back, terrible shame" she sighed.

"Yeah but I think he'll be alright he just needs some time, once today is over he can move on and start putting things behind him and work towards being able to go back to lessons again" Remus said slowly his eyes focused on the sleeping form of his boyfriend.

"I expect he will be" she smiled. "Anyway I'll leave you to it, call me if you need anything or you're worried" she nodded.

"Okay thanks" Remus smiled watching her disappear behind the curtain before snuggling down into bed with Severus intently watching the other boy sleep.

A few hours passed and Remus had just had something to eat for an early lunch and was lounging on the bed stroking Severus' hair when the curtain moved and Madame Pomfrey poked her head around the curtain.

"Professor Slughorn is here for a visit, is it alright if he comes through?" she asked quietly glancing down at Severus.

"Yes of course" Remus nodded and she smiled.

Moments later, Slughorn slipped through the curtain pulling it shut behind him he pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed.

"How is he?" Slughorn asked his eyes dropping to Severus' sleeping form.

"He's doing okay, Madame Pomfrey heavily sedated him this morning so he would sleep all day he was trying to pretend he was calm but he was starting to get a little upset" Remus replied stroking his boyfriend's cheek.

"Probably for the best, can he hear what we're saying?" the older man asked quietly.

"I'm not sure he is unconscious as in asleep, I don't think so he's really out of it" Remus replied leaning down and pressing his lips to Severus' cheek.

Slughorn stared at Remus for a few moments before he nodded slowly. "It's good he has you here to look after him, it's nice for him that he has someone who cares so much" he smiled.

"I'd never leave him, I'd also never leave him on his own I do really care about him and I think he will recover soon, he's obviously not ready for much yet but soon he will be fine" Remus replied.

"Have you spoken to your friends since the incident?" Slughorn asked quietly.

"Those ANIMALS are NOT my friends any more, they make me sick at first I couldn't even fathom the amount of hatred I felt towards them but now" Remus shook his head closing his eyes in a long slow blink trying to calm himself down. "Now I just pity them"

"I expected you to say something like that" Slughorn nodded.

"I want to protect him ya know, he needs me and my help and I need him in return"

"He's going to live with you and your family in the summer, am I right?" Slughorn asked curiously and Remus nodded.

"Yeah, I know that before any of this happened he was having a rough time at home anyway so I was planning on asking them sometime closer to the summer but now this has happened I asked them anyway and they said they'd be happy to have him and he seems pretty excited about it" Remus smiled happily. "My house isn't much, it's right out in the countryside but I think he will like it to be honest and it might do him some good because it's very sort of out of the way and relaxing it will be like a holiday for him so hopefully it does him good" Remus smiled kissing his lover on the cheek again.

"I agree completely, it will be something good for him that he can look forward to and he will be in safe hands I think what he needs right now is things to look forward to, it will help him through all of this especially if you're inviting him into a stable family home that's away from everything it gives him a rest" Slughorn replied

"Madame Pomfrey thinks he is making great progress he seems to be improving quickly he still gets upset but she reckons at this rate he'll be out for Christmas" Remus said excitedly. "Although it does make me extremely worried and sad that I won't be able to stay with him at night knowing he's safe with me and I know he's anxious about that too" Remus sighed sadly.

"That is actually one of the things I came to see you about today" Slughorn began pulling a slip of paper from his pocket and handing it to Remus. "Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore and myself have been talking about this and we feel it would be best for Severus' stability and for his safety if you were kept together"

"You mean-"

"If his dorm mates agree with it then you shall have permission to move in here with him seeing as for obvious reasons he couldn't go near the Gryffindor tower and Professor McGonagall thinks it would be best to keep you away from there as well.

"You really mean that? I can stay with him?" Remus asked hopefully and the potions master nodded a smile on his face.

"Yes, I thought it would be nice for you to hear some good news today and after the funeral this morning it will be good news for him when he wakes up"

"He is going to be so happy I can't wait to see the look on his face, hopefully the others will say yes I think they will they have done a lot to help Severus" Remus grinned excitedly resting the slip down on his bedside table.

"Yes I've been rather surprised with their behaviour if I'm honest I never would have expected them to care as much as they do for him, I've told them they can come and visit later on this evening so you can ask them about it then" the potions master smiled.

"Okay that would be nice, hopefully he'll be awake by then it might cheer him up a bit to have people visit he's already slept through the funeral so it's really just got to finish the day and he can put it behind him" Remus spoke gently stroking Severus' face.

"I think he will be alright soon once today is over he should be feeling much happier, I'm still worried about him but I think part of his is upset over losing his parents and anxiety about today, actually I'm surprised he's not a lot worse" Remus replied lying back down beside Severus gazing at the raven haired boy's soft pink lips parted slightly as he slept.

"Is there anything I can do or get for either of you?" Slughorn asked looking from Remus to a sleeping Severus.

"No thank you we're alright" Remus shook his head.

"Good, well I had ought to get going I have lots to do and I've got a couple of student meetings with a couple of first years, the Slytherin boy's will be along later on this evening I wish you both well" Slughorn smiled gently resting a hand on Severus' side.

"Thank you for coming by, Professor" Remus nodded.

"Any time" Slughorn replied with a smile before disappearing behind the long draping white curtain. Remus sighed to himself snuggling back down under the covers with Severus, at least he was sleeping peacefully no more harm could come to the poor boy today.

Several hours passed and dinner time had been and gone, Remus had pulled the fluffed pillows Severus was lying on up so they were propped up against the head board and moved Severus very carefully so he was lying propped up into a near sitting position still tucked in and sleeping peacefully under the covers. He didn't want the boy to wake up aching after having slept in the same position for hours on end that really wouldn't help the situation any.

It was about an hour after dinner and Remus was watching Severus sleep when the dark haired boy let out a long slow sigh his eyebrows furrowing his face titled towards Remus.

"Severus?" the blonde called gently watching his boyfriend's eyebrows twitch with response.

"Are you ready to wake up now?" Remus tried reaching out and gently stroking the boy's face with two fingers.

"Mmmm" Severus groaned quietly sighing again.

"You can wake up if you want everything is fine" Remus said gently trying to coax his lover back into consciousness. "I'm still here with you I haven't left your side all day except to pee" he tried.

"... Remus?" Severus asked weakly his eyes fluttering open to gaze at his boyfriend.

"I'm right here beautiful" Remus smiled warmly leaning forward and kissing him softly on the lips a small smile curled in the corner of Severus' mouth.

"What time is it?" Severus asked weakly.

"It's around seven now, you've been asleep all day, almost eleven hours in fact" Remus smiled warmly.

"Really? I still feel too... out of it to think straight" Severus replied blinking slowly.

"You'll be alright soon, if you want to go back to sleep you can but the other's will be coming up for a visit soon maybe you'd like to see them" Remus said happily.

"Yeah I'll try and stay up, can I have a drink please?"

"Of course" Remus said jumping off the bed, he grabbed the jug of fresh iced pumpkin juice Madame Pomfrey had just left for them filling a large goblet up for Severus handing it over to him.

"Thank you" the raven haired Slytherin smiled putting it to his lips and drinking quickly from it as though desperate. He drained the goblet in one go and rested it on the bedside table as Remus climbed back into bed.

"Is there anything at all I can do for you? Do you want anything?" he asked quickly searching his boyfriend's face.

"Can I have a kiss and a cuddle?" Severus asked hopefully his dark eyes sparkling.

"Of course" Remus smiled wrapping his arms around his lover pulling him right into his embrace leaning down and kissing him tenderly on the lips.

"Mm" Severus moaned into his boyfriend's mouth as Remus' tongue trailed along his bottom lip asking for entrance.

Remus sighed happily his tongue slipping into Severus' mouth probing and rolling against his own thoroughly exploring his mouth. Soon their tongues became trapped in a battle for dominance, panting slightly their cheeks stained red as they continued to kiss passionately leaning further and further into one another.

When they eventually parted for air the two boys remained gazing into each other's eyes for a few moments flushed and excited.

"By the way, before the others do arrive I've got some great news to tell you" Remus grinned.

"What is it?" Severus asked curiously.

"Well Professor Slughorn came by earlier and he had some interesting news for us" Remus began glancing at Severus whom was watching him intently. "He said that he was still worried for your safety and how you would cope on your own, he said he has had words with Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore and they came to the conclusion that it would be best for everyone if I was to move into your dormitory in Slytherin with you, provided your room mates agree to it" he said excitedly.

An enormous grin spread across Severus' still rather sleepy looking face. "Remus that's wonderful news!" Severus beamed. "I can't believe it, so we can be together all the time?"

"As long as you friends say it's okay then I can move in when you're out, there's no way I'm going to share a dormitory with those animals after what they did to you, I will beat them black and blue I want to be by your side to protect you and I honestly don't know what I'd do sleeping in another bed away from you I would be so distressed" Remus explained.

"Remus..." Severus smiled. "I love you so much it will be great having you around in Slytherin, ohhh come here" Severus grinned.

Remus leaned down kissing his boyfriend on the lips their mouths parting immediately as their tongues continued their battle for dominance over Severus' mouth. Neither of them even noticed the noise as people slipped behind the curtain again until...

"WHAT THE HELL?"

The two boys sprang apart faster than you could say Flipendo.

"We were just umm..." Remus tried watching Severus nod his head frantically.

"Snogging each other's faces off" Regulus replied.

Severus and Remus blushed furiously staring at one another.

"It's alright we don't mind we're not homophobic" Avery smiled resting a large bar of chocolate on Severus' lap.

"Yeah we actually had a feeling we might find you like this" Evan smirked making them feel all the more embarrassed.

"Yeah it was so blatantly obvious you two fancied each other" Mulciber laughed as they pulled up their chairs sitting down.

"That obvious were we?" Remus chuckled snuggling himself down properly under the covers beside his lover.

"You have no idea" Avery replied. "So Severus how are you feeling today, we heard about what was happening" he said in a much gentler voice.

Severus swallowed hard, his parents. He had slept through the entire day right through the funeral, they were both dead and buried now and that was it they were gone forever.

"Sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No it's okay, Madame Pomfrey fully sedated me this morning so I was unconscious the whole way through it, in fact I've not long woken up actually I still feel a bit sleepy and that" Severus explained swallowing the lump that appeared in his throat.

"You'll feel better soon" Regulus smiled reassuringly.

"Which reminds me" Remus said quickly tying to strike up conversation before Severus could get upset. "Professor Slughorn has spoken with Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore about the arrangements for when Severus comes out of the hospital wing" he began watching their expressions turn to confusion.

"He said that the best option for Severus and I and to keep my ex friends away from us is that, provided it is okay with you, I have permission to move into Severus' dormitory with him" Remus bit his bottom lip nervously watching their faces turn to complete surprise.

"Oh wow" Mulciber said rather taken aback by Remus' information.

"He said it can only happen if you agree to it, if you wouldn't mind me being there with Severus" Remus said quickly.

"Well of course we don't mind, after everything that has happened I think it would be good for him to have you there" Avery replied.

"Yeah it's fine by me" Mulciber shrugged.

"I'm a year younger so it doesn't really affect me" Regulus held up his hands.

"I think it will be fun, we can think up new ways to wail on those Gryffindor wankers with your help" Evan said excitedly. Both Severus and Remus burst out laughing.

"Thanks it really means a lot to me that you're allowing Remus to stay with us I don't know what I'd do without him I'd be in a terrible state" Severus said.

"No problem" Mulciber smiled.

"Yeah thank you very much" Remus grinned.

"So Remus, we assume you'll be spending Christmas here with Severus then?" Regulus said trying to strike up conversation.

"Yes of course I will, hopefully he will be out in time for Christmas and by then the rest of the school or at least most of them will be gone for the holiday's so he'll have plenty of time to settle back in before we go back to lessons" Remus replied gently stroking his fingers through Severus' silky black hair.

"That's good then and it gives you a chance to settle into the Slytherin dormitory I'm guessing it's probably a lot different to Gryffindor" Evan said.

"Yeah most likely" Remus chuckled.

"So you think you'll be back in lessons for the New Year then?" Avery asked.

Severus nodded. "Yeah should be provided Madame Pomfrey gives me the all clear and thinks I'm okay to go back, I'm nervous after everything that has happened but I'm hoping it will all be okay"

They sat talking for just over two hours, it was getting late and the Slytherin's decided they should go before they break their curfew and Filch went after them again.

"See you tomorrow, hope you feel better" they called after giving Severus their usual hug saying their goodbyes before they left the hospital wing.

"Today has been nowhere near as bad as I anticipated" Severus commented with a sigh as he finished his drink and curled up in Remus' arms.

"See, things do get better and now we can stay in the same dormitory together that will be amazing" Remus grinned kissing Severus on the lips again.

"It will indeed, Remus I love you so much" Severus breathed.

"I love you too, Sev" Remus smiled.

"Right is everything okay in here, boy's?" Madame Pomfrey spoke coming through the curtain. "Oh Severus, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling alright thank you" he said calmly.

"Very good, did you want some more sedative to help you sleep tonight seeing as you've been sleeping all day?"

"No thank you I think I'll be fine" he smiled.

"Good, any problems come and fetch me I will see you both in the morning" she nodded. "Goodnight"

"Night" they called as she disappeared behind the curtain the lights dimming as she made her way into the back room.

The two boys snuggled down under the covers pressing soft kisses to each other's lips.

"You want a lot of kisses today don't you?" Remus chuckled.

"I love your kisses, you don't mind do you?" Severus asked worriedly.

"No of course not your lips are amazing" Remus breathed gently running a thumb over his lover's bottom lip.

"Good in that case, kiss me again?" Severus smirked.

"With pleasure" Remus grinned leaning in again.

About three days passed, the weekend was gone and Severus seemed much brighter. The weekend had arrived and it was the last day for the students in the castle, tomorrow they would be getting the train back to Kings Cross and to their homes for Christmas.

Severus was lounging on the bed after dinner that evening watching Remus reading through one of his books, they had spent the whole day yesterday catching up on school work which Professor Slughorn collected just to make sure they weren't falling behind, he had been against it at first but Severus insisted he wanted things back on track he was sick of being treated as an invalid he wanted everything to be normal again.

"What?" Remus grinned looking up from his book o gaze at Severus whom was lounging on his back staring at him a smile playing on his face.

Severus' smile spread into a grin.

"Seriously, what?" Remus laughed closing the book still lying flat on his stomach right beside his boyfriend.

"Your eyes are pretty" Severus replied reaching up to stroke the side of Remus' face.

"Thank you, so are yours" Remus smiled.

"They're blue" Severus commented.

"I know and yours are almost black they're so dark" Remus breathed rolling onto his side to cuddle up to Severus who rolled over to properly face Remus.

Severus sighed happily cuddling his boyfriend a warm smile on his face.

"You seem much better today, how are you feeling in yourself?" Remus asked placing a small kiss on the very tip of Severus' nose.

"So much better I'm still upset about what happened but I just think that there's nothing else I can do now I may as well just put it behind me and try to live normally given the circumstances" Severus replied.

"I like how you're thinking so positively, you seem much happier today" Remus smiled.

"I am much happier, I feel much better about everything now I know where I stand that I've got you, and you get to move into my dormitory with me and that your parents are kind enough to let me stay with you during the summer which I'm really excited about and we can spend Christmas together hopefully out of the hospital wing" Severus grinned snuggling up to his lover.

"I'm really proud of you, Severus, I love you and I can't wait to spend Christmas with you and have you come live with me I hope you enjoy yourself" Remus grinned kissing him softly on the lips.

"I love you too" Severus smiled kissing his boyfriend.

"Alright?" Avery called walking through the curtain with his friends.

"Fine thanks" Severus smiled.

"Just thought we'd come and visit, we're off home tomorrow evening so we'll come earlier then" Regulus said as they pulled up their seats.

"Oh thank you we weren't expecting you to come tomorrow seeing as you've got to finish your packing and that" Severus said slightly surprised.

"We'll manage" Mulciber smiled.

"So, when are you out of here, in time for Christmas I hope" Evan said brightly making himself comfortably by the bedside.

"Hopefully, he's been making such good progress he seems a lot better now it depends on what Madame Pomfrey thinks" Remus grinned to Severus.

"I hope she says I can be out in time for Christmas it would be nice to be back in my own bed, and of course Remus will be in with me" Severus sighed happily.

"Oooh I get it" Avery winked and the others started laughing.

"Not like that you pervert!" Severus laughed reaching over and playfully batting his friends arm.

"So I'm guessing you two haven't done it then?" Regulus smirked making both boys turn a startling shade of crimson.

"No, we're both virgins" Severus blushed furiously.

"Aw that's so cute" Evan grinned.

"You two look well embarrassed" Avery chuckled looking from Severus to Remus and back again the blood beating into their cheeks.

"Not embarrassed just slightly flustered" Remus chuckled.

"So what are you planning on getting up to over the holidays?" Mulciber asked curiously trying to change the topic of conversation.

"Just relaxing, hopefully if I'm out we're going to just spend time together, if I'm still in here then we'll spend it together anyway" Severus smiled. "You?"

"Just going home and that got people coming for Christmas dinner" Avery replied.

"Yeah and I'm having to spend it with my brother in the house" Regulus cringed.

"I feel extremely sorry for you, Regulus" Remus said sincerely.

"Oh it's not me you should feel sorry for, It's Sirius, the amount of stuff I've got planned to get him into trouble for is rather thrilling, it really does pay to be the favourite son" Regulus grinned rubbing his hands together with anticipation.

"Nice, revenge away from school, give him one from us yeah?" Avery said clapping Regulus on the back.

"Don't worry I will" Regulus grinned.

The next day passed pretty slowly, the noise in the castle picking up with the excited buzz in the air. Severus and Remus could feel the excitement and anticipation of both going home and it being Christmas and they were kept away from the rest of the school, nobody had been in the hospital wing at all that day.

"Your hair looks so pretty today" Severus smiled reaching over and stroking his fingers through Remus' golden locks.

"Thanks, Sev, so does yours" he smiled back.

Severus shifted closer still smiling he kissed Remus softly on the cheek.

"You smell really good too" Severus breathed his lips slowly trailing tender kisses down Remus' jawline and onto his neck.

A soft shiver ran down Remus' spine. "I umm"

Severus let out a soft warm breath against Remus' pale supple skin before gently sinking his teeth into the area drawing the skin into his mouth he sucked on it leaving an angry purple mark in his wake. Slowly Severus drew back gazing into Remus' eyes shifting himself so close their noses were practically touching.

Remus leaned forward capturing Severus' lips in a passionate kiss, his left hand sliding up to cup his lover's cheek. Remus let out a soft very quiet breathy moan as he drew Severus' bottom lip gently into his mouth suckling light on it giving it a gentle nip.

Severus let out a soft moan shuffling forward he broke the kiss climbing up and sitting in Remus' lap draping his arms around his boyfriend's neck blushing furiously. "You don't mind do you?" he flushed.

"Not at all, kiss me again?" Remus breathed a smile playing on his handsome features.

Severus smiled leaning in he pressed his lips to Remus' as the blonde's arms wrapped around his middle their tongues stroking against one another gently outside their mouths.

Severus' hands slowly made their way down Remus' chest feeling his taught slender figure down to the hem of his t-shirt he slipped his hands underneath shyly touching his boyfriend's bare warm skin.

"Your skin is so soft" Severus breathed in between gentle slow kisses.

"You're so beautiful" Remus smiled his eyes half lidded as he gazed lovingly at Severus. "I want to touch you" he blushed.

"You already are touching me" Severus chuckled slightly.

"I mean, can I touch your skin?" Remus asked a smile still lingering on his features.

"Of course" Severus grinned breaking the kiss he gently took Remus' hands sliding them under his own long sleeved t-shirt. He continued to smile nervously as Remus' hands wandered around a little.

"You have a gorgeous figure" Remus breathed leaning in and pressing his lips to the pulse point of Severus' neck.

Severus' face was on fire. "I'm not gorgeous" he sighed.

"Yes you are, you need to have a bit more self-confidence, you're beautiful if I didn't think that I wouldn't feel this way" Remus breathed shifting his hips and grinding them against Severus' allowing the boy to feel the growing hardness between his legs through his trousers.

Severus gasped slightly his cheeks on fire. "But-"

"I don't care what other people think of you or what they say you look like, to me you're breath taking" Remus smiled.

"Remus..." Severus breathed leaning in and bringing their lips together in a passionate kiss.

"You're perfect" Severus whispered against his boyfriend's lips, he couldn't believe how lucky he is to have Remus by his side. "I love you so much"

"I love you too" Remus breathed. "So very much, Severus"

"Gooood afternoon guys" Avery said brightly appearing through the curtain with his friends behind him, all of them were dressed in casual clothing obviously ready to get on the train sometime soon.

Both Severus and Remus broke the kiss and turned to stare at them their cheeks glowing slightly.

"Are we umm... interrupting something?" Regulus asked staring at Severus straddling Remus their hands under each other's tops.

"Oh umm no we were just finding..."

"Let me guess, you were just finding your way down Remus' throat?" Avery finished.

"So are you lot off back home tonight then?" Remus asked changing the subject trying to rid the awkwardness from the air.

"Oh yeah we've got about an hour before we need to head off to get the train on time, we've already had dinner early" Mulciber replied checking the time on his pocket watch.

"What are you guys planning on getting up to this evening?" Regulus asked.

"Nothing really to be honest there isn't much we can do" Severus sighed.

"Just gotta hope for the best, are you feeling up to leaving here now then?" Mulciber asked.

"Kind of, I want to leave because I'm tired of being here, it will be nice to be out in time for Christmas, I want things to get back to normal and start having a normal life again not be trapped in the hospital wing forever but at the same time I'm still feeling worried about everyone's reactions and what's going to happen once I am out if people will start" Severus replied chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

"I think you'll be fine, I won't lie people are still talking but they will and once you take the plunge and go back in and face them they will see you aren't afraid and it will put an end to everything bad that has happened people will see you're strong and you're fine and you can tell them all to fuck off, try to make a new meaning and a standing point here" Mulciber said.

Severus and Remus exchanged glances before Severus cuddled further up to Remus again.

"Yeah I guess so, I'm hoping I'm out in plenty of time to get settled back in especially whilst most of the students will be away for Christmas so I can actually get used to things again without tons of people staring at me and hopefully I can just blend in without any trouble"

"You've got me to protect you, and everyone else here will help you we won't let you down, Sev" Remus smiled warmly kissing Severus' silky black hair.

"Remus is right, we'll help you in any way we can" Evan smiled gently.

"Agreed" the other's chimed.

"Thank you it means a lot to me having your support" Severus smiled happily.

A little while later it was time to say their goodbyes for the Christmas holidays, after hugging each and every one of them, wishing them all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, Severus was feeling in good spirits just after they had gone to get on the train headed for their homes.

"Seems weird now they've gone" Remus chuckled.

"Yeah and pretty much everyone else too" Severus added still sitting in Remus' lap.

"Ah forget them, it's just you and me" Remus smiled pulling his lover in for a warm tender kiss.

About two day's passed and they were both still in the hospital wing, it was the morning before Christmas Eve and both of the boy were sitting on the hospital wing bed reading books having not long eaten their breakfast.

The curtain shifted and Madame Pomfrey came bustling back through a bright cheery smile on her face.

"Good morning again you two" she said cheerily.

"Morning" they replied.

"Now Severus I've got some news for you" she began.

Severus paled instantly tensing up. "Oh no what now?" he whimpered feeling that familiar icy grip clutching at his heart, he couldn't deal with any more pain or hurt especially not so close to Christmas, the past few weeks had been more than enough for him.

"Oh no, nothing bad don't worry, I just want to ask you how you're feeling?" she said calmly.

"I feel absolutely fine" Severus smiled feeling Remus resting a hand gently on his thigh.

"That's very good, so I've been assessing you and I think that seeing as it's so close to Christmas and you seem to be right down the road to recovery, that you may go back to your dormitory today whenever you wish" the nurse smiled.

Severus' face spread into an enormous grin. "Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, I wouldn't allow you to leave unless I thought you would be absolutely fine, you have Remus with you so I don't see any harm in letting you out" she replied with a smile.

"Remus, oh my god" Severus squealed throwing his arms around his lover's neck.

"This is great news" Remus grinned hugging Severus back.

"But if you are feeling upset, or worried I shall leave this area set up for you for as long as you wish if you ever need time out or you are feeling stressed you are more than welcome to come back and I will help you in any way I can" Madame Pomfrey said.

"I will but I feel fine at the moment, perhaps slightly nervous about going back though" Severus replied.

"You'll be fine, we'll take it slowly and go together" Remus smiled gently squeezing his lover's hand. "Besides, we'll be moving my things into your dormitory anyway so you can always busy yourself helping me with that if you feel up to it" Remus replied.

"I will" Severus nodded. "Thank you Madame Pomfrey" he smiled to the nurse.

"My pleasure" she replied. "If you feel ready you may pack up your things, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and remember you may come back at any time you wish for any reason that is perfectly fine, don't push yourself take things easy I know you are much better but you aren't completely healed" she said calmly.

"Okay" Severus nodded.

"Have a nice Christmas" she smiled.

"You too" they said before she disappeared once more.

"Remus I'm so excited, come on let's get our things together" Severus said hopping off the bed and grabbing his bag.

Remus chuckled to himself picking up his own bag he began cramming his things into it shovelling as much as he could inside watching Severus eagerly doing the same it was wonderful to see him so excited about going back to his own dormitory for Christmas.

It wasn't long before they were both packed, slinging their bags over their shoulder's Remus reached out and took Severus gently by the hand.

"Hey listen, everything will be fine" he smiled warmly giving said fragile hand a gentle squeeze.

Severus smiled. "I hope so, I'm just glad to be free"

Remus chuckled. "Come on then let's get moving, you can show me your dormitory"

Pulling back the curtains, Severus smiled as they walked slowly across the room towards the door, he felt as though butterflies were doing a little dance in his tummy as they stopped in front of the door.

"Ready?" Remus asked turning to him.

Leaning forward, Severus brought their lips together in a warm tender kiss. Taking a deep breath he nodded. "Ready!"

Remus pushed open the door and for the first time in a few weeks, Severus gazed out into the empty corridor. Slowly they walked out closing the door behind them. They made their way out into the corridor, Remus could feel Severus tensing slightly his eyes wandering all around him constantly glancing back over his shoulder and he couldn't help but feel slightly nervous about what Severus might do, he really didn't want to see him break down again. He gave Severus' hand a gentle reassuring squeeze catching his attention just to reassure him that he was there, that he wasn't going to leave Severus and that he wasn't doing this alone.

They headed out onto the staircase, three students were walking along on the ground floor talking excitedly to one another apparently they hadn't even seen the two boys coming down them. Slowly they headed down and out into the entrance hall completely undetected.

Severus nervously guided Remus towards the dungeon corridor, Remus could feel how worried and tense Severus was as they began to head along the cool stone corridors towards the Slytherin common room.

All of a sudden Severus stopped dead in his tracks staring ahead of him shaking slightly.

"Sev? Are you alright?" Remus asked worriedly searching his boyfriend's face. He looked towards what Severus was staring at and that's when the realisation hit him. The classroom just up ahead was where it all happened, where he tried to commit suicide.

A pang of sadness washed over Remus and he pulled his lover into his arms softly kissing his cheeks. "It's alright Sev, I understand" Remus breathed feeling Severus bury his face in his chest.

"This is where it happened..." Severus said slowly.

"I know, everything is okay, you're fine, everything will be okay" Remus said calmly rocking Severus slightly to soothe him.

"It's just so strange..." Severus breathed.

"Everything is better now, you're fine even Madame Pomfrey says so, you're safe here I'm with you nothing bad can or is going to happen to you, I promise I will protect you" Remus said cupping Severus' face in his hands tilting it up to face him so he could look the Slytherin directly in the eye. "I love you, I will protect you nothing is going to go wrong" he said calmly.

Slowly Severus nodded taking a deep breath and closing his dark eyes in a long slow blink.

"I really trust you, Remus" Severus breathed.

"And I you, so come on show me where your common room is I'm looking forward to finally getting a look inside the Slytherin house" Remus smiled pecking him on the lips.

A small smile curled in the corners of his lover's mouth. "Okay" Severus nodded. They gently took hands again, Remus leading Severus straight past the classroom and the toilets.

It wasn't long before they arrived in front of a large blank stone wall.

"Pureblood" Severus spoke to it and. There was a small noise before it began to pull back revealing a short passage way into the common room. Severus led Remus straight through hearing the wall slide shut behind them as they emerged in the large long room of the Slytherin common room. It was made from stone, a fire was burning brightly with two large black leather sofa's sat beside it, chairs and tables decorated the room with Slytherin banners, there was a dark green hue to the room, the lamp torches burning a bright green instead of their usual colour.

"Oh wow, it's quite fancy" Remus said slightly taken aback, he was expecting it to be some sort of dark, dank pit with no warmth or light at all. True enough there were no windows but it was still a very neat and pleasant room to be in. There was a little Christmas tree decorated merrily a good few feet away from the fire, its lights twinkling brightly. Severus streams of tinsel were wrapped around table legs and pinned onto some of the normal decorations.

"You like it? Did you know we're actually underneath the Black Lake? That's why there aren't any windows here, it's also partly the reason why some of the dungeons can get extremely cold in winter" Severus explained gazing around, it felt good to be back even though the common room was currently empty.

"Really? I knew stuff about Hogwarts and I knew where the common room was sort of but I didn't know it was actually under the lake, that's very interesting" Remus commented slightly surprised.

"Yeah so come on, the dormitories are this way" Severus smiled leading Remus over to a door on the other side of the room to the left. Thy made their way through it and up some stone stairs until they reached one of the doors, the black one. Severus pushed it open and pulled Remus into his dormitory.

Remus stopped and gazed around him, it was a nice room, stone like everything else the beds were very nice, wide with tall canopy's with silver and green tinsel wrapped around them and long emerald drapes hanging down currently pulled back revealing the emerald bed covers. On one side of the room was a door presumably leading to the bathroom like in Gryffindor although this was much different. Remus looked over to the bed just across from them and read the name Severus Snape on a small plaque above it.

"You get name plaques over your beds?" Remus gasped feeling rather surprised, no wonder some people wanted to be in Slytherin if they were going to get special perks like this.

Severus chuckled. "Come on" he smiled leading Remus over to his bed. He rested his bag down at the foot on top of his trunk, the room was surprisingly tidy, Remus felt he would be much more at home here and would have to be on better behaviour here if Severus and his dorm mates were going to be so clean, James, Sirius and Peter would throw everything everywhere and the place would be stinking. Although the Slytherin dormitory did still smell like a room full of randy teenage boy's.

"It's so nice and clean in here" Remus commented cautiously resting his bag down beside Severus' and moving to sit beside his boyfriend.

"Yeah, Evan and Mulciber aren't that tidy but I think that Avery has obsessive compulsive disorder, he is crazy clean on things and really fussy about his appearance especially that hair" Severus replied.

"Nothing like those ex friends of mine then, they are dirty, messy and mad" Remus sighed wrapping his arms around his lover.

"So do you like it here then, you're sure you wanna stay with me?" Severus asked hopefully gazing up into the Gryffindor's face.

"Positive, it's really nice and even if it wasn't I would still think it brilliant purely because you're here" Remus smiled.

"Aw that's so sweet" Severus grinned as Remus leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

"So do you want to go and get the rest of your stuff then so you can settle in?" Severus asked when they drew apart.

"Alright, are you staying here or do you want to come with me?" Remus asked happily.

"I want to come with you, I don't want to be alone" Severus smiled. "If that's alright with you?"

"Yeah course, you'll get a look around Gryffindor" Remus chuckled. "Just promise me that if you don't feel comfortable at any point you will let me know" he added.

"Promise" Severus nodded.

"Good, come on then" Remus smiled getting to his feet and taking Severus by the hand again. The two of them left the dormitory to head up for Remus' things.

The journey up to the Gryffindor tower took slightly longer than expected, Severus was still very nervous about being out in the castle, he knew he was safe but he still felt slightly anxious.

"Dragon Egg" Remus said to the portrait of the fat lady. Severus glanced back worriedly over his shoulder as though someone was going to run up behind him and push him over. The portrait swung forward and Remus pulled Severus through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room.

It was much different to Slytherin, a warm cosy circular room decorated with gold and red, a cosy fire burning brightly with a large comfortable red sofa and armchairs. There were small bookcases and a table the room was very homely and slightly worn but looked very inviting none the less. There were also Christmas decorations up in Gryffindor, unsurprisingly decorated with red and gold shining tinsel and baubles, the bright lights flashing quickly on the tree.

Severus' eyes dropped to where a group of students were sitting talking to one another on the sofa, they turned around and stared their mouths falling open when they saw the two of them standing there.

"Come on, Sev" Remus said quickly he felt Severus shrink back with worry. Draping an arm around the dark haired boy's waist he guided him over to the dormitory stairs and hurried up. They made their way quickly into Remus' old dormitory.

Severus closed the door nervously and gazed around. The room was high up in the tower, circular and mostly wooden. Instead of emerald and silver, the colours were red and gold. Severus swallowed nervously this was where Remus used to stay with his ex- friends.

"Right I'll just pack this stuff up then" Remus said moving over to his bed. Nothing appeared to have been touched at all. Grabbing some of the things left on his bed he kicked open his trunk and began to pile everything in. Severus walked over slowly and sat down on Remus' old bed watching as his lover went into the drawers of his bedside tables and began pulling everything out emptying them completely into his trunk.

"You alright? You seem kinda quiet" Remus asked.

"I'm fine I just feel like I'm in enemy territory" Severus laughed nervously.

"You and me both" Remus grinned.

"I'll take the bedding as well just so we've got plenty" Remus smiled closing his trunk and dragging it towards the door before heading back over to the bed. Severus stood up and helped Remus pick up the bedding , they stuffed it into the trunk, snapping it shut before Remus pulled it up.

"Right that's everything then" Remus smiled excitedly. "Shall we get going?"

"Definitely" Severus nodded eagerly.

And with that they left the dormitory, shutting the door behind them, Severus helped Remus carry his things down into the common room. He did his best to ignore the couple of students sitting by the fireplace still blatantly staring at him. They left as quickly as possible without a word to anyone.

Out on the staircase the two boys smiled to one another as they headed down to the entrance hall.

"See, everything is okay" Remus smiled as they headed towards the dungeon corridor.

"At the moment yes, I still need to settle in though" Severus replied.

"Yeah it will take time, but you'll get there, and heck, I've got to settle into your dormitory, a Gryffindor on Slytherin territory" Remus chuckled making Severus laugh.

They headed back through the common room and back into Severus' dormitory.

They heaved the trunk over to the bed beside Severus'. Remus opened it and pulled out the bedding sitting it on top and tossing the pillows by the headboard.

"Remus?" Severus asked.

"Hmm?" Remus turned to Severus.

The dark haired boy leaned in slowly closing his eyes capturing Remus' warm supple lips in a delicate kiss. Slowly he began to press soft kisses against his boyfriend's lips savouring the sweet, tender moment as Remus' strong arms draped around his waist pulling him in closer against his body. Severus' tongue gently stroked across Remus' bottom lip asking for entrance, with a soft moan Remus' lips parted and Severus' tongue slipped in stroking lovingly against Remus'.

"Mm" Severus moaned softly as they continued to kiss passionately.

They drew apart slowly gazing into each other's eyes, smiles curling in the corners of their mouths.

"Mm you're beautiful, what was all that about?" Remus spoke softly.

"For believing in me, for loving me and for being kind to me when nobody else was" Severus smiled. "Also for staying here with me and being so good to me"

"I love you so very much, Severus, you don't need to thank me" Remus smiled leaning down and pressing his lips to the tip of Severus' nose.

"I really do mean it Remus, If I didn't have you I would be dead right now, and we both know it" Severus replied seriously.

"I don't ever want to lose you, I don't want to see you dead or hurt or anything bad I want to make you happy and be good to you and give you everything I can" Remus smiled. "I love you so much and things will get better, things are getting better there isn't anything we can do to change all the bad things that have happened but we can always look for the positives in life and face the challenges head on and I know you can do anything you set your mind to, Sev and I will always be here for you" Remus replied looking him straight in the eye.

"Always" Severus repeated, with a smile on his face he leaned in for another kiss.

Most of the day passed, the two boy's unpacked Remus' things, used his bedding as extra padding to go on top of the mattress under Severus' bed covers.

"Feeling more settled?" Severus asked as Remus came out of the bathroom.

"Yeah, definitely getting used to this" Remus chuckled. "I know you probably aren't going to be too happy about this but do you want to go down and get some dinner? It's almost time for food and you haven't really eaten that much today" Remus asked warily.

Severus swallowed hard and remained quiet for a few moments. After everything Remus had done for him the least he could do right now was to go down to dinner with him. "Yes that's fine" he nodded with a smile.

"Great, shall we get going then?" Remus offered and Severus nodded again taking Remus' outstretched hand.

They made their way back out into the entrance hall, Severus was now feeling very nervous, this was the first time he'd face a room where people could openly stare over at him and he wouldn't be able to run away. No he had to be stronger than that, Remus was with him they wouldn't say anything, it wouldn't stop them from thinking anything bad but it would sure enough stop them from bullying him or questioning what happened.

They stopped outside the entrance to the great hall, Severus was feeling more nervous than ever.

"Ready?" Remus asked gently squeezing his hand.

"Yes, I'm ready" Severus nodded smiling up at his lover. And with that they both walked calmly into the great hall, Severus' eyes instantly dropped to the floor, the teachers were sat up at the high table talking and eating, the once already up there glanced up at him when he entered and made his way with Remus over to the Slytherin table. There were a few other student's staying for Christmas about four in Gryffindor, six Hufflepuff, two Ravenclaw and three other's in Slytherin.

Severus looked up and gazed around at the beautiful Christmas decorations, the enormous tree's sat at the head of the room their tiny lights sparkling amongst the thousands of beautiful decorations, the bewitched ceiling changed to appear as though it was snowing. The whole room felt so warm and happy it was a shame there weren't many student's around to enjoy it. Still that didn't deter the fact that the remaining handful of students were still staring over at him.

"People are staring" Severus murmured as the food appeared on the plates in front of them.

"Just ignore them they're curious is all, nothing to worry about just look at me and we'll pretend it's just us okay?" Remus asked quickly piling food onto his plate.

Severus took a deep breath and nodded slowly, he began to pile some dinner onto his plate, he knew people were still glancing over at him even as he tucked into his food.

"Decorations are beautiful, shame there isn't enough people here to really enjoy them much" Remus commented sipping his drink.

"I agree, they really are quite lovely it's nice to see them" Severus smiled back.

A few moments later Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonagall appeared through the door talking to one another, they spotted Severus and Remus sitting at the Slytherin table and immediately went over to see them.

"Severus my boy how are you feeling?" the potions master asked cheerfully.

"Alright, a bit nervous but I'm doing fine" he smiled back.

"It's good to see you out, I assume you moved everything into the Slytherin dormitory alright?" Professor McGonagall asked turning to look at Remus whom nodded.

"Yeah everything is fine, Severus is doing surprisingly well" Remus smiled glancing at his boyfriend.

"That's wonderful news all in time for Christmas as well are you excited?" Professor Slughorn asked brightly.

"Yeah" the two boys smiled to one another.

"Good so we'll leave you to it, remember any problems you can come to either of us at any time or of course go to Madame Pomfrey" McGonagall said quickly and they both nodded.

They watched as their teachers headed up to the high table. Finishing their dinner they quickly ate dessert. Getting up from the table, Severus immediately grabbed Remus' hand for comfort and they left the great hall.

It wasn't long before they were back up in the dormitory feeling warm and full.

"Would you mind if I put my pyjamas on?" Severus asked nervously.

"Go ahead I think I'll join you in a second" Remus smiled sitting himself down on the bed and kicking off his shoes.

"Okay" Severus smiled, he opened one of the bedside drawers pulling out a long white nightshirt and tossing it onto the bed. "Just gonna have a wash first" he said heading into the bathroom.

A few minutes later he emerged, pulling off his hoody he tugged his t-shirt up over his head and dropped both onto the top of his closed trunk. He could feel Remus' eyes on him and he kicked off his shoes pushing his trousers down so he stood in his underwear.

"You really are beautiful, Sev" Remus smiled his eyes trailing over Severus' chest. His wounds healing well, some of the older scars beginning to fade, he would heal fully in time.

"I'm not, I ruined what normal skin I had" Severus said turning brick red and grabbing for the night shirt.

"I don't care about what your scars look like, with or without them you are beautiful to me" Remus smiled and Severus couldn't help but smile back feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Severus smiled to himself pulling his night shirt over his head, Remus got up and made his way into the bathroom. Severus sighed happily, he was out of the hospital wing, he had the dormitory to himself and to Remus, it was Christmas eve tomorrow and everything was getting so much better he would just enjoy it all.

Severus pulled back the bed covers climbing in he reached under and pulled his underwear down and off as Remus reappeared from the bathroom. Severus threw his underwear to the end of the bed blushing slightly as he noticed Remus staring at him.

"I like sleeping without underwear on, I kept them on in the hospital wing because Madame Pomfrey was there" he blushed. "If it's a problem I can put them back on-"

"Not a problem" Remus smiled as he began to pull off his own clothes. Severus watched intently chewing lightly on his bottom lip watching as Remus dropped his trousers, stepping out of them he grabbed a plain black t-shirt from his bag and pulled it over his head. Severus couldn't stop staring, he noticed some claw like scars in different places on Remus' body and remembered that Remus had told him that when in wolf form he completely loses his human mind and being trapped in the shrieking shack, he would become highly aggressive and agitated so he would sometimes attack and injure himself.

"You're so sexy" Severus breathed as Remus slipped under the covers beside him. Realising what he said, Severus blushed furiously.

Remus let out a small laugh. "Thanks Sev" he smiled kissing his lover on the cheek. "I can't believe it's Christmas Eve tomorrow" Remus chuckled as the snuggled down under the bed covers.

"Me too, doesn't seem like it" Severus replied.

"Mm come here I want a cuddle" Remus smiled happily pulling Severus into his arms under the covers.

Severus sighed with happiness snuggling up to Remus, everything seemed so perfect. Smiling to himself he leaned in and pressed his lips to Remus' and began to kiss him, slowly at first but building in intensity. Severus slowly parted his lips deepening the kiss feeling Remus shuffle closer to him, his tongue making its way steadily into Severus' mouth.

Severus moaned softly entangling their legs together under the bedding, their tongues becoming trapped in a battle for dominance over Severus' mouth. Remus' hands slowly began to stroke down Severus' sides, moving to feel across his chest through the boy's nightshirt making him gasp softly and moan.

Nervously, Severus began to move his hands, touching Remus' taught chest, his slender stomach his well-shaped sides. Severus shuddered slightly as Remus' fingers trailed lightly down the sides of his neck sending small sparks of excitement through him. A rush of blood descended rapidly down his body stirring him and he moaned. He was getting hard.

The more the kissed, the more aroused Severus became. His throbbing erection was straining against his nightshirt, he was about to break the kiss and hope they would just go to sleep rather than save himself the embarrassment of having a throbbing erection the second Remus touched him when something long, thick and hard pressed into the curve of his inner hip. Severus jumped slightly and Remus pulled back.

"Sorry I can't help it, we can stop if you-"

He was silenced by a passionate kiss on the lips, Severus shifted his body closer, enough and slightly higher so he could push his hard throbbing erection into Remus' stomach showing him that he was very aroused too.

"Severus..." Remus breathed stroking his fingers through Severus' long silky black locks as he gently ground his erection into the boy's hip moaning quietly.

By now Severus was also moaning, he jumped slightly feeling Remus' hand make its way down his body stroking slowly over his sides and down to his stomach. Remus lifted up the hem of Severus' nightshirt exposing his hard member, Remus couldn't help but break the kiss and gaze down at it, a fair size with a light sprinkling of dark hair around the base, his foreskin had already slipped back over the head revealing his tender sensitive glans, glistening fluid already beading at the time. Severus could feel himself blushing furiously feeling extremely embarrassed, what would Remus think of him now, what if he didn't like it.

"Beautiful" Remus breathed turning to gaze into Severus' eyes. Severus jumped and moaned slightly as he felt Remus' long slender fingers curling around his hot throbbing erection.

"Mm" Severus moaned softly as Remus began to stroke him. Severus gasped clutching Remus' t-shirt in his fists as the boy thumbed his way over the head spreading his clear fluid over the head of his penis making him shudder slightly with pleasure before Remus continued to stroke him slowly.

Nervously, Severus' hand made its way down his lover's body, he reached the waistband of Remus' boxer shorts and hesitated. "I-I can... if you want me to that is" he stammered swallowing hard, he hoped Remus wouldn't reject his offering, he craved for the touch of his lover, to touch him in return.

"Please..." Remus breathed stroking Severus' member harder encouraging his touch.

Severus let out a moan heat spreading up into his cheeks before he pulled Remus' boxer shorts down exposing his hard erection, Severus glanced down between them to gaze at Remus' member through half lidded eyes, he was big, his erection was long and thick with a delicate foreskin and a damp rosy head peeking out from under it, Remus was already leaking.

Severus moaned at the sight of it, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around it giving it a tentative stroke watching the expression on Remus' face his eyelids fluttering closed and he began to stroke Severus harder.

Slowly, Severus began to stroke Remus' erection giving it a slight squeeze pleasuring Remus in the exact way he pleasured himself, and apparently Remus seemed to enjoy it. The boy moaned loudly increasing his pace on Severus' penis leaning forward and kissing him on the lips. Severus' cheeks were on fire, his eyes half lidded gazing at Remus looking into one another's eyes, Remus was biting his bottom lip as he began to stroke Severus with mounting urgency.

The air was filled with their soft gasps and moans as the two boy's continued to masturbate one another, Severus could feel his orgasm mounting quickly the expressions on Remus' face and the little noises that escaped his perfect lips were driving him wild with need.

"Remus... I'm close" Severus panted pecking his lover on the lips, he moaned again feeling Remus increasing his speed.

"So am I gorgeous" Remus moaned loudly as Severus continued to stroke him quickly.

Severus began to whimper thrusting his hips slightly with every movement, he could feel the pressure building until-

"Remus!" he cried his whole body tensing, his toes curling as he came hard spilling his hot seed all over Remus' awaiting hand. The aroused, frustrated expression of pure pleasure on Severus' flushed face was enough to make Remus cum hard.

"Severus!" Remus cried as he came in thick white ribbons all over Severus' hand and stomach relishing in his orgasm as they continued to stroke each other's cocks until every last drop of semen leaked out.

Both of them slumped against the bed covers panting, slowly they released hold on each other's now softening members and snuggled back up together panting heavily.

"Severus..." Remus breathed. "Severus..." he repeated gazing into those dark lust filled eyes.

"I love you, Remus, that felt amazing" Severus breathed kissing the werewolf softly on the lips.

"It felt incredible, I love you too Severus, so very much" Remus smiled warmly kissing his lover back before closing his eyes.

It was barely a few minutes before both of the boys were fast asleep wrapped in each other's arms. It had been a perfect day, Severus was out of the hospital wing, it was Christmas in two days and they had so much to look forward to if not things to worry about as well. The coming weeks would be an exciting challenge for them as they faced up to the aftermath from the rest of the school hand in hand. All in all things were looking up for both of them as they lay snuggled up in each other's arms...


	9. A Very Merry Christmas

The next morning Severus woke a little later than usual yawning he stretched himself out like a cat and smiled. Remus was still there wrapped around his back his face buried in Severus' neck breathing softly against his skin.

Severus sighed happily turning around he snuggled up to Remus pressing soft kisses to his neck. "You're so sexy" Severus breathed gently stroking a hand up and down Remus' side.

"So are you" Remus replied.

Severus almost jumped out of his skin he watched Remus' eyes flutter open a smile playing on his handsome features.

"I-I thought you were sleeping" Severus said nervously.

"Wouldn't it have been more fun to say it when I'm awake?" Remus chuckled kissing Severus softly on the cheek.

"I'm a bit shy to say things like that when you're awake" Severus blushed burying his face in Remus' warm chest.

"Aww there's no need to be shy, Severus, say whatever you want I feel very flattered you told me" Remus smiled warmly kissing the top of Severus' silky black head.

"Thanks, same to you" Severus blushed even further gazing up into Remus' handsome bright face.

"Well in that case, I think you're fucking stunning" Remus smiled warmly.

Severus blushed furiously and grinned. "Thank you so are you" he said happily.

"By the way Sev guess what day it is?" Remus grinned excitedly.

Severus' face broke out into an enormous grin. "Christmas Eve!"

"I'm guessing you're looking forward to Christmas?" Remus chuckled kissing his lover on the cheek.

"Yes because I get to spend it with my Remus" Severus smiled warmly. "I've also woken up in my own bed with him beside me and everything is just wonderful right at this moment" he breathed.

"I'm glad you're so much better" Remus said brightly. "I love you"

"I love you too" Severus smiled.

After around half an hour of kisses and cuddles, Remus spoke again.

"Do you want to go and get something to eat?"

Severus automatically tensed again in his boyfriend's arms, he felt fine in the warm safety of his dormitory where nobody could sit and peep at him from afar or whisper blatantly right in front of him.

"There's no need to be so nervous, Severus everything was fine last night and it will be fine this morning you need to make sure you're still eating properly you look so much healthier since you started getting a few square meals in" Remus smiled.

"I guess you're right it's still just..."

"Just you aren't comfortable with being around other people yet?" Remus tried.

Severus nodded. "I'm perfectly happy and settled with you but other people scare me a lot and make me feel so uncomfortable like they're judging everything I do"

Remus pulled Severus forever closer to him kissing him softly on the cheek. "Don't let them scare you they aren't worth it, you're the most amazing person I have ever known you don't deserve people treating you badly and the ones that do are scum that don't deserve the same air as you" he smiled gazing into Severus' eyes.

Severus blushed and couldn't control the smile that spread across his face. "Remus..."

"Don't worry, I will protect you, once you're settled back in everything will relax again and be normal I'll still be by your side no matter what because I love you"

Without a word, Severus suddenly flipped them around rolling on top of Remus he began to kiss him hungrily.

Remus moaned with surprise and delight as Severus' tongue pushed its way into his mouth his arms resting either side of Remus' head and his hips sliding between his legs. His left arm wound around Severus' tiny waist, his right hand moving into his long ebony locks as he deepened the kiss.

Severus emitted a soft moan as their tongues rolled together rhythmically.

When they eventually drew apart after some good minutes of making out they lay in the same position gazing into each other's eyes.

"Well that was certainly some amazing kiss" Remus smiled warmly.

Severus blushed furiously and smiled. "I love you"

"I love you too, Sev" Remus smiled back gently pulling him down for another kiss.

After a few more minutes of kisses they drew apart once again.

"I'm starting to get a little hungry myself" Severus said quietly.

"Let's get up and go have some food then, breakfast will be starting in a minute" Remus said slowly.

Severus swallowed and nodded, he could do this he had to for Remus.

They got up slowly and began to pull on their clean clothes, Severus grabbed a clean t-shirt and jeans pulling them on, he didn't really have a lot of clothes, well none that fitted him well anyway and he really didn't want to dirty the majority of his good ones the day before Christmas because although they weren't planning on doing a lot he still wanted to be nicely dressed on the biggest day of the year.

A few minutes later and they were washed, dressed and ready to go down for breakfast. Severus stood staring at his reflection in the dormitory mirror, he looked pale, not quite as pale as before he did look physically a little bit better after having a few good meals inside of him.

Remus walked up behind him and gently draped his arms around Severus from behind resting his chin on the smaller boys shoulder. "Ready to go down?"

Severus took a deep breath and nodded. They headed towards the dormitory door, Remus' fingers lacing through Severus' giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

They passed down into the empty common room, the fire roaring as usual giving it a lovely warm glow. The two boys headed out into the dungeon corridor, Severus' nerves increasingly dramatically the hairs on the back of his neck prickled with anticipation. Slowly they made their way along it.

"New year in just a few days, it'll be nice to put this year behind us won't it?" Remus asked with a smile trying to strike up some light conversation.

"Definitely, there has only been one good thing come out of this year and that's falling in love with you" Severus smiled warmly.

"Sev..." Remus grinned.

They headed out into the main entrance, a small crowd of students were just ahead making their way into the great hall. Severus tensed automatically as they approached the doors.

"It's alright nobody is going to hurt you" Remus said giving his hand another reassuring squeeze. "Nobody will do anything to you whilst I'm here I promise"

"I love you, Remus" Severus smiled up at him.

"I love you too, Severus" Remus beamed. "Come on let's go in the sooner we eat the sooner we can go back to the dormitory or whatever you want to do"

"Okay I'll do this for you" Severus nodded and Remus couldn't help but smile.

They walked into the great hall and hurried over to the Slytherin table sitting themselves down they began to pile food onto their plates. Students were turning around to stare at them but Remus kept Severus' eyes focused on him.

"Last night was really nice" the werewolf commented.

Severus blushed furiously his dark eyes dropped to his toast. "It was amazing"

"You're so cute when you blush" Remus said.

"Thank you, you were a bit pink last night when I touched you" Severus said shyly feeling his blush deepen.

"That's because I was extremely aroused..." Now it was Remus' turn to blush a little. Severus looked up into his face and smiled warmly.

"Your skin is lovely by the way" Severus commented taking another bite of his toast.

"I've got some scars in places though" Remus sighed.

"Look at the state of me, I'm nothing but scars and carvings" Severus said lowering his voice.

"I don't think you're in a state, I still think you're beautiful" Remus smiled. "Your scars will heal with time, fade to nothing whereas mine won't, you see they're self-inflicted when I... change... and long story short they're cursed wounds" he explained.

"I don't mind them at all, they're a part of you and there isn't anything to think they're bad" Severus replied. "You're lovely just the way you are"

"Thank you I'm very flattered and I think you're lovely too, even if you were ugly-which you're not- I'd still think you amazing" Remus smiled pecking Severus on the cheek.

"Thanks it means a lot to me" Severus breathed.

They finished their breakfast and Remus took Severus by the hand before he really had the chance to catch anyone's gaze, Remus on the other hand had noticed other people staring and whispering about them he just wanted to protect Severus.

"I assume you want to go back to the dormitory?" Remus asked as they headed hand in hand down to the dungeon corridor again.

Severus nodded quickly. "If that's alright with you?"

"Course it is, I just want you to be happy and comfortable, you needn't do anything you aren't comfortable with give it some time, when you feel ready we can perhaps take a little walk or go up to the library, even just sit in the common room" Remus replied gently as they headed through into the common room.

"That's so kind, what I really want is just a nice cuddle" Severus smiled as they made their way up into the dormitory.

"That can very easily be arranged" Remus chuckled.

A few hours later and they sat up in the dormitory together curled up on top of the bed covers wrapped in each other's arms, Remus stroking his fingers through Severus' long straight black hair.

"Severus can I ask you about something?" he asked softly.

Severus looked up and nodded. "Anything"

Remus remained quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again. "You know you smoked weed? Well were there any other drugs you've taken at any point besides that?" he asked curiously gazing down into Severus' face.

Severus took a deep breath. "Remus I'm going to be really honest with you now I hope this doesn't upset you or anything but yes I have"

"Okay, what else have you taken I'm not upset I'm just curious" Remus aske gazing down into Severus' face.

"Well I've had weed but you know that I smoked A LOT of it, I've had magic mushrooms, I've had crack and I've had cocaine" Severus replied honestly looking Remus straight in the eye.

Remus' fine eyebrows shot into his hairline he quite frankly had no idea this was going on, well Severus wasn't taking them when they had started being friends and not at all since they'd been in the relationship so this must have been before.

"May I ask when?" Remus said calmly.

Severus nodded slowly. "I've been smoking weed for quite a long time, I can't remember exactly when but it's not the standard traditional stuff it's better for you than that grotty Muggle crap it doesn't cause the health problems but it can make you extremely paranoid and it's addictive, more so than the original you don't need very much tobacco with it either so it's not that bad" he explained. "Last summer things were really bad at home, my parents were fighting so much it was horrible my house was like a constant battle field, it was dirty, unkempt, my mum was permanently crying, my dad always drunk there were beer bottles everywhere it was quite a disturbing place to live my neighbours weren't really much better anyway, dad used to beat me up so badly I told you about the bruising but he actually managed to break three of my ribs, my mum healed them up for me of course with her wand but he'd beaten me unconscious some days it was horrible I couldn't cope so I would sneak out and pick up drugs, that's when I got into crack cocaine" he explained pausing for a few moments.

"I'd go and get from this girl she never took drugs herself and never sold anything like heroin or anything to inject, I've never injected anything in my life and I never would so don't worry I'm not diseased, I'd take it somewhere private like down by the river then roll it up and smoke it, it's much stronger than cannabis I'd be off my face on it, there are different ways of taking it I used to smoke it, it would always leave these horrible bits in my mouth and taste nasty but it made me feel better for several hours I could just lie back and wallow in it" Severus continued glancing up at Remus who nodded.

"This went on for about two weeks an things got much worse, I would sneak off at night time, whenever I could really during the day, nobody gave a crap I'm sure people knew what I was doing sometimes we can't always be perfectly private but they never said anything nobody bothered each other round there so I could just have my peace to do them" he said. "Anyway, one day things were so bad I left the house in the evening to get away from it all and then went outside to have my little escape and this was the first time I took proper cocaine, the stuff you inhale" he explained.

"Severus..."

"Please let me explain" he said sadly. "So I went out, took a book with me and poured it out, I don't need to explain how to take it I'm sure you know how people do it but anyway I took it and it was so intense I didn't know what I was doing I staggered around for a bit it felt incredibly but so daunting I'm glad nobody saw me that night, I ended up falling asleep in the grass under a tree and woke up the next morning not feeling too bad my dad gave me a right hiding for staying out all night"

Severus paused to catch his breath a moment before continuing on with his story. "I only took cocaine two or three times I didn't like it, it was too much for me and the second time it made me really sick so I gave up, my parents were coming down on me more for my staying out so I had to get something I could take discreetly or in the house, that's when I stumbled upon the Magic Mushrooms, they were so much lighter I could take them in a drink which was the easiest way to disguise them I could put them in tea or something and rinse the cup round properly before someone washed the dishes up, I kept taking them until the end of the summer I decided to give up on them they were enjoyable and they made me feel good but it would be kind of difficult to take them here and I didn't want to end up addicted to anything so I quit, I was in a real mess at that time and so glad to get back to school but I still kept doing the weed and at the start of term I did do crack another couple of times but then I stopped" he sighed.

For a few minutes nobody said anything it was complete silence in the dormitory until Severus decided to say something again.

"I'll understand if you think I'm dirt and you don't want to be with me after this, I should have told you sooner but I thought to just put it behind me I really hope this doesn't colour your view of me or anything I really do love you Remus and I just want to be honest with you and-mph!"

Severus was silenced with Remus' soft lips pressing down on his own.

When they drew apart Remus was smiling much to Severus' surprise.

"I don't think you're dirt, none of this has even slightly changed my view on you, I am actually proud of you for telling me and trusting me enough to tell me these things it makes me feel really happy, although it wasn't good I understand what happened but now you don't have to live that way anymore, I really truly love you Severus and I am going to help you make things right and for the record, I have absolutely no intentions of leaving you" Remus said warmly.

Severus' heart was fluttering madly in his chest, tears were brimming in his dark eyes as he gazed up at his lover, he couldn't even express the amount of happiness he felt at that moment. Remus wanted him, he wasn't going to leave him and he thought no less of him, this was so perfect!

"I love you so much" Severus breathed burying his face in Remus' warm chest.

"I love you too, more than anything and don't ever forget or doubt that" Remus whispered back pressing a sweet kiss to the top of Severus' head.

"Please don't ever leave me..."

"Sev look at me" Remus said tilting his lovers face up to look him directly in the eye.

"I swear that no matter what happens I will not leave you" Remus smiled sincerely.

"Good" Severus breathed pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss.

"So how are you feeling today in yourself?" Remus asked nicely cuddling back up to Severus pulling the duvet around them.

"I feel fine, still worried about being out there with other people to be honest but I'm getting there" Severus smiled.

"You've come a long way from what you were, these things take time you need to let yourself feel better and just take things one day at a time I think that if things hadn't have taken a turn for the worse and hadn't been quite as bad you would have been let out sooner because they don't usually keep suicide attempts in for long" Remus said slowly.

"Yeah and I was sedated a lot but that was probably for the best" Severus nodded.

"You seem so much more capable of talking about things" Remus smiled. "I'm really proud of you"

"Thank you, it's only because of you that I've managed to get better I want to get better for you" Severus replied.

"I'm really glad" Remus breathed leaning in for another kiss.

The day passed and the two boys decided to skip lunch and save up space for their Christmas dinner later that evening.

Both of the boys were buried under the bed covers heavily making out, their hands roaming down each other's sides and over their chests.

"You've got an amazing body" Severus breathed against Remus' lips.

"You should see your own" Remus replied continuing to kiss Severus so passionately.

"There's nothing even remotely sexy about me" Severus whispered. "I can't really help that much but I know you're extremely nice to look at"

"I don't want you feeling so bad about yourself, if you weren't hot then you wouldn't have me all over you, would you?" Remus breathed between kisses.

"I guess that's true..."

"And you wouldn't make me hard if I didn't find you sexually attractive" Remus added a hand sliding under Severus' top to feel his supple skin there.

Severus moaned loudly arching into Remus' touch.

"We should really get ready and go down for Christmas dinner in a little while" Remus breathed against Severus' kiss swollen lips his hands still roaming over the smaller boys frame.

"I agree for once I actually feel hungry" Severus breathed.

Remus' face spread into a grin and he held Severus in for a much longer more passionate kiss. "That's wonderful"

"It's Christmas I want to make an effort because I don't want to spoil things for you" Severus replied cuddling up to Remus. "I just want to have a nice Christmas with you"

"And you will, so come on how about we get ready, go and have a nice Christmas dinner then come back up and do some more relaxing" Remus smiled and Severus nodded.

"Sounds good to me"

They slipped from the bed, Remus ran his fingers through his hair watching Severus grab a comb and run it through his long locks pulling them smooth. Remus smoothed out his clothes tidying them up pulling on a long, plain black clock he slipped his feet into his shoes watching Severus pull on a navy clean shirt using his hands to smooth out any creases. When Severus finally finished getting ready he looked up to see Remus staring at him.

"What?"

"Nothing" Remus shook his head a little a warm smile spreading across his face. "You just look lovely"

Severus didn't even attempt to stop the smile that spread across his face, he moved forward lacing his fingers through Remus' and leaned up to kiss him on the lips. It was a slow yet loving kiss that said all the thanks Severus' need not say aloud.

"Mm very nice, Sev" Remus breathed as they pulled apart slowly Severus still holding his hands.

"Why are you so lovely?" Severus asked his eyes half lidded.

"Because I love you so much" Remus smiled back.

"And I love you too"

"Come on let's go and get some dinner" Remus smiled pecking Severus on the lips again he could still feel the way Severus tensed when he mentioned leaving the dormitory and that was to be expected he was recovering slowly but surely and after the instability of everything bad that had happened to him it was nice to see Severus being Severus again. Although he was still in the dormitory most of them time he seemed much better than he was before his personality was shining through the thick walls he had built that were affecting him and Remus knew how much Severus needed him and in turn he also needed Severus.

"Okay" Severus nodded he swallowed nervously as they headed out of the dormitory door and through the common room. As they left through the passage he felt Remus' arm shift and drape around his waist pulling him much closer, supporting him. Severus smiled and returned the gesture giving Remus' side a gentle loving squeeze.

"You seem to be a little better tonight" Remus commented with a bright happy smile.

"Thanks I feel it, I feel like I'm starting to relax more I'm still anxious, terrified, worried, upset but I've got you to help an support me and I know you love me and you won't let bad things happen to me when you're here I feel safe like nothing can hurt me and your cuddles feel like I'm wrapped in a nice ball of cotton wool it feels so perfect and like I can't get hurt" Severus replied as they crossed the entrance hall, the extravagant Christmas decorations twinkling brighter than ever on the night before Christmas.

"I'm glad, I want you to be better and to feel important I don't want you to be like before I want your personality to shine through like it's starting to already you act perfectly fine around me but let's spread it and let you come out of your shell, nobody is judging you and if they do they aren't worth your time" Remus smiled kissing Severus' silky temple.

"I want to I just need time to feel completely better I'm so nervous about going back to lessons I need time to relax and get used to everything again I feel like I've got these walls that are stationary but when people stare and whisper or do something to me they start closing in trapping and suffocating me and it scares me because I'm not sure of what I'm capable of doing to myself" Severus said quietly as they took their seats in the vibrant great hall, the room was buzzing with Christmas cheer the Professors were sitting at the head table clinking goblets, tucking into their delicious Christmas dinners and pulling crackers. The Slytherin table was over decorated and over flowing with food the two boys smiled at, Severus glanced up so far nobody was staring at them seemingly preoccupied with their Christmas dinner.

"Severus I understand completely and I know it's hard but trust me I don't want anything bad to happen to you and it won't just keep talking to me any time you feel something please just tell me and we'll get it sorted and you can recover fully, talking about it openly with me shows your trust in me and it makes things so much easier to overcome if you keep it bottled up inside of you then I don't know what's happening with you and nothing can be sorted" Remus said softly reaching out and taking Severus' left hand in his own gently stroking the back of his delicate hand with his thumb. "I love you so much and I'm so proud of you Sev can you make me the promise you will talk about things and tell me if you aren't feeling okay?" he asked looking Severus straight in the eye.

"I love you too that's one of the only things I'm certain about with my life that I love and need you I want to be with you and because I trust you so much I will make the promise to talk to you about everything I'll admit I do feel better talking about things like a load is building up but it's being brought down quickly each time I say something like I'm getting it all off my chest a sort of confession rather" Severus explained.

"That's good it's healthy for you" Remus smiled warmly. "Come on let's eat this food looks delicious" Remus said grinning at the enormous plates and piles full of perfectly roasted turkey, salad, cranberry sauce with gammon, beef, chicken, roast and mashed potatoes with all the gravy and vegetable trimmings.

They piled their plates eagerly even Severus had rather a lot of food on his plate.

"Merry Christmas, Remus" he smiled.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Severus" Remus grinned leaning over and pecking him on the cheek ignoring the way some of the other students had turned to stare at them but neither of the boys seemed to care.

"Tuck in" Remus grinned as they began cutting into their delicious dinners.

Remus smiled watching Severus willingly eating his large plateful of food, he had never seen Severus eating that much before at all and it was good progress to see him not need to be told he needs food, although he did sometimes try and get away with only a small plateful, progress was progress.

"Dip the turkey in the cranberry sauce and the gravy" Severus commented watching as Remus did as he was told, took a bite and grinned.

"Delicious"

"Agreed" Severus smiled.

After they finished their dinner the plates immediately refilled full of desserts, chocolate cake Christmas cake, Christmas pudding, ice cream, sticky toffee pudding and tons of trimmings.

"We're going to end up so fat" Severus chuckled.

"You could never be fat you're like a little stick you're so skinny" Remus chuckled sinking his teeth into a combination of the desserts.

"You're skinny yourself I don't know why you complain about me" Severus laughed.

"I'm not quite as underweight as you are" Remus smiled.

"True... but I'm not that bad I've never been very big"

They ate their desserts much slower getting extremely full with each bite they took. After dinner they sat for a few minutes quietly breathing slowly.

"I'm stuffed" Severus laughed rubbing his stomach.

"Me too, shall we go back to the dormitory?" Remus suggested happily.

A burst out laughter came from the staff table and they both exchanged worried looks.

"Yeah let's get going" Severus laughed getting to his feet and taking Remus' hand. They turned and headed towards the exit of the great hall Severus leaned up and kissed Remus softly on the cheek.

"What was that for?" Remus chuckled lightly as they left the great hall and headed across the entrance hall.

"For being amazing" Severus replied his dark eyes twinkling brighter than the Christmas lights.

"Aww, Sev" Remus grinned draping his arm around Severus' slender waist as they made their way along the dungeon corridor, through the warm cosy common room and up into the dormitory.

"Mm I think I'm going to have a bath" Severus yawned stretching himself upwards in a cat like gesture.

"Okay I think I'm going to clean up in here" Remus smiled.

"Actually I was thinking... maybe if you wanted to, then you could- we could- take a bath... together?" Severus asked shyly averting his eyes from Remus' handsome face.

Remus' eyebrows shot into his hairline and he grinned. "You want to have a bath with me?"

Severus blushed even further covering his reddened face with his hands and nodded slowly.

Remus reached up and gently pulled Severus' hands away from his face. "Look at me" he said softly.

Severus nervously looked up into Remus' eyes trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I'd love to, let's go" Remus smiled warmly gently taking Severus' hand and leading him towards the bathroom snatching up two white fuzzy towels and gently pulling Severus into the bathroom in a graceful motion. He kicked the door shut resting the towels on the spare stool in the room before heading over rinsing the bath around, plugging it and switching on the taps warm water pouring from one of the taps and bubbles pouring from the other filling the bathing pool and the room with the sweet scent.

Remus made his way slowly back over to where Severus was standing gently stroking the side of his face his hands moving down his neck over the smaller boys slim shoulders and down his arms. "May I?" he asked his fingers touching the buttons on the front of Severus' shirt.

Severus nodded biting his bottom lip partially with excitement and also with nerves, his scars weren't healed everything was still inflamed and Remus would see his disgusting damaged skin for what it was but for the most part he was okay with that, he trusted Remus.

Remus smiled opening the buttons all the way down the front of Severus' shirt grinning as he fully opened the front of it and pushed the fabric over his shoulders allowing it to fall to the ground around their feet, his blue eyes fell on the scars and the words all over Severus and then dropped to the sparkling piece of jewellery dangling in his tummy.

Severus closed his eyes and swallowed allowing Remus to look him over.

"You look beautiful" Remus breathed his fingers curling around the back of Severus' neck gently pulling him in for a kiss.

"I'm far from beautiful" Severus whispered nervously.

"You might not _think _you're beautiful but I _know_ you are" Remus smile brushing his lips against Severus', his eyes opened and he smiled, Remus always made everything so much better.

"Thank you" Severus breathed as Remus shrugged off his cloak and stripped down quickly so he was topless standing before Severus taking his hands and resting them gently on his chest allowing Severus to feel him. He gazed at the smaller boy as his fingers trailed over some of the small scars on Remus' torso, ones you wouldn't notice unless you were up close.

"You see, I also have scars and you know that so you aren't alone, Severus" Remus said gently.

"You're gorgeous" Severus smiled as Remus reached for the button on the front of his trousers.

"Thank you, is it okay if I...?" he nodded to the button on Severus' trousers. Severus gave him a warm smile and Remus opened the front of them dropping them to the floor so Severus stood in just his grey underwear.

"Here" Remus said taking Severus' hands and resting them on the front of his trousers, he smiled as Severus nervously opened them and pushed them down watching as Remus stepped out of them just wearing his underwear.

"I'll get the taps" Remus spoke as he turned and headed over to the bath turning off the taps he turned his attention back to a blushing almost naked Severus. They kicked off their socks before Severus made his way over to Remus. Taking a deep breath he reached forward hooking his fingers into the waist band of Remus' underwear he glanced up at him for a moment before he pulled them down watching Remus kick them off standing fully naked before him. Severus blushed slightly gazing at Remus' soft penis hanging between his legs.

He smiled again as Remus carefully pushed his underwear down leaving him standing fully naked before Remus, it was their first time having a bath together.

"Shall we get in?" Remus asked happily and Severus nodded. Remus turned and slipped into the pool holding his arms out for Severus as he did so helping his lover into the bath watching Severus' face spreading into a grin as he sank into the soothing warm water.

"It's lovely" Severus commented moving around up to his chest in water and wrapping his arms around Remus' waist.

"It is indeed" Remus chuckled pulling Severus closer. "It's nice to have some intimate time together like this don't you think?"

Severus nodded happily. "It is, it makes me feel like we're in our own little world alone together, like nothing else is happening just that we're together and nothing else is happening in the world just the two of us alone" Severus said quietly.

Remus smiled he lifted his arms into the air he clapped twice and the wall torches dimmed the fire turning lower making the room fill with a romantic glow.

Severus' breath caught in his throat as he gazed at Remus, the soft warm glow of the dim torches caressing his skin sending streaks of colour through his blonde hair, he looked stunning.

"Severus?"

Severus didn't even bother to reply, his arms draped around Remus' neck leaning forward and kissing him passionately on the lips pressing their bodies flush against one another.

Remus moaned into Severus' mouth his hands cupping Severus' bottom as he kissed the smaller boy back with equally as much intensity as Severus gave.

Remus' breath caught in his throat and he shuddered as Severus continued to press himself against his body. Remus drew back a little gently brushing Severus' hair out of the way before pressing his lips softly to Severus' neck sucking on it lightly smiling at the purple love mark he left behind each time he did so.

Severus groaned relaxing under Remus' mouth allowing himself to be covered in love bites. When Remus was done with the right side, he switched and began suckling and kissing Severus' left, the boy moaned under his kisses enjoying the sensation of them.

Remus drew back admiring his handiwork gently stroking the damp patches of skin gazing into Severus' eyes.

"Can I... do it to you?" Severus asked shyly.

"Yes" Remus smiled warmly.

Severus' face spread into a grin as he leaned into Remus' neck and sank his teeth carefully into the skin there, he slowly began to suckle on his lover's neck moving his lips leaving the same angry red love marks all over Remus' neck, he didn't stop until he coated both sides with them and then drew back to grin madly at Remus.

"Mm feels good, Severus" Remus grinned.

"How about we have a wash, relax then go back in there and we can see what else feels good" Severus winked seductively watching Remus' mouth fall open with surprise.

"That sounds like a very nice plan to me" Remus beamed.

Severus beamed, holding his breath he dunked under the water and came up brushing the water from his face his hair dripping wet. Remus laughed and copied his antics.

"Let me wash your hair for you" Remus smiled snatching up a shampoo bottle.

Severus blushed but nodded his agreement, it wouldn't be the first time Remus washed his hair and in truth he really enjoyed it.

Remus tipped some shampoo onto the palm of his hand, gesturing for Severus to turn around he began massaging it into his long, ebony locks. When he was done he reached for the cup on the side of the bath and began carefully tipping water over Severus' hair then watched as Severus dunked himself again.

Severus turned around quickly with a playful smirk on his face. "Now it's my turn" he grinned picking up the shampoo bottle, he set to work on Remus' hair copying what the werewolf did to him and watched Remus dunk himself before emerging quickly shaking the water from his face and grinning.

"Ready to get out now?" Severus gave Remus a lop sided smirk watching the werewolf's eyes glitter excitedly before he nodded.

Remus jumped out reaching an arm down he hoisted Severus out of the water in such an easy fluid movement it made the smaller boy squeak with surprise.

"You're strong"

"It's all part of the package" Remus sighed.

"Which one?" Severus winked his eyes dropping to Remus crotch for a brief second.

Remus blushed a grin spreading across his face as he handed Severus a towel watching himself dry himself off wringing his hair out repeatedly and rubbing it until it was almost dry. He watched Severus wrapping the towel around himself defensively like a blanket as he tossed his own towel into the wash basket.

"Nobody can see you" Remus smiled moving over to Severus gently stroking the side of his cheek.

"I know but still" Severus sighed looking away, he wasn't comfortable with outright wandering about even if it was just him and Remus, having his scars out so blatantly on show made him feel defenceless, damaged and exposed.

"Don't worry about it" Remus smiled. "I understand" he said gently pulling Severus into his arms kissing his cheek gently.

They headed back into the dormitory, Severus felt much brighter than he had before and far more relaxed, he watched Remus walk around the bed and casually lounge himself across it grinning madly at his lover completely naked.

"You don't mind do you?" Remus asked referring to the fact he was lying stark naked on their bed, well, Severus' bed.

Severus swallowed and shook his head. "Not at all you look very attractive"

Remus let out a soft laugh. "Why don't you come a bit closer then?" he smirked playfully.

Severus slowly dropped his towel his hands moving up to cover his chest a little as he crawled onto the bed and without hesitation made himself comfortable on top of Remus gazing lovingly into Remus' eyes his fingers moving up to gently stroke the side of his face, Remus was gorgeous there was no doubt about it Severus wondered why nobody had been interested in him before.

"Comfy?" Remus asked brightly and Severus nodded.

"You don't mind me being on top of you do you?" Severus asked.

"That's fine, you're light as a feather" Remus chuckled. "I bet I could lift you one handed"

"Please don't" Severus cringed a little.

"Aww scared of being dropped on your bum?"

Severus nodded "Yeah"

They lay in silence for a little while just admiring one another, Remus shifted his hips a little his breath catching in his throat as his penis brushed against Severus'. His eyes flashed to Severus' face again and his expression mirrored the one Remus wore.

"That felt good" Severus whispered.

Remus gazed at him his lips slightly parted before he gently laced his fingers through Severus' hair pulling him down gently into a passionate kiss. Severus groaned as their lips made contact sending those wonderfully familiar sparks through his body.

Remus let out a soft moan his free hand moving to stroke down Severus' pale exposed back feeling his soft skin shifting to gently rest on his bottom giving it a playful squeeze once again. Severus groaned again shifting his hips his growing erection pressing into Remus'.

"I'm getting hard..." Remus groaned his fingers stroking through Severus' hair as they continued to kiss passionately.

"Me too" Severus whispered against his lovers lips.

"Mind if I flip us round?" Remus asked breaking the kiss panting slightly for breath.

Severus shook his head slightly curious as to what Remus was planning. He yelped with surprise as Remus suddenly flipped them completely over so Severus was lying slumped back against the comfortable pillows his hair fanning out looking rather much like ink bleeding into the fabric as Remus shifted himself slightly on top of him pressing their crotches together.

Severus hissed and moaned with pleasure feeling Remus' hard member brushing against his own. Curiously, Remus shifted his hips again letting out a groan of his own as their erections pushed against one another, it felt good.

"Do that again please" Severus breathed.

Remus repeated his movement pressing their erections together thrusting his hips enough to cause friction between them and they both moaned, he continued at a slow pace watching the expressions of pleasure washing over Severus' pretty face.

Reaching up, Severus draped his arms around Remus' neck gazing into his face his eyes half lidded and swirling with pleasure as Remus began to thrust their erections together keeping a steady but increasing pace, the slap slap of skin echoed through the room as their foreskins were tugged on by one another's penis'.

Severus let out a long, loud moan as Remus continued to thrust against his erection adding more pressure with each movement.

"Remus... can you... talk dirty to me?" Severus blushed looking up into Remus' handsome and thoroughly aroused face.

"I-I really want you to say filthy things to me, it's kind of a turn on I've been thinking about recently..." Severus whispered watching Remus convulse with pleasure.

The werewolf shifted down so he was lying flat on top of Severus kissing him softly on the cheek. "Of course I can talk dirty to my gorgeous little Severus, talking isn't the only thing I can do to him" Remus began panting slightly for breath still thrusting at a steady pace against Severus' member.

"Mm I want to slide my body against yours, feel your skin underneath me as my hands roam all over your naked body" Remus groaned.

Severus let out a breathy moan tilting his face a little towards Remus'.

"I could touch you all day, my hands moving across your chest and down that gorgeous tummy of yours before stopping at your long hard erection" Remus continued. "Yeah I'd gently pull your foreskin back and run my thumb over your leaking slit smearing your pre-cum all over your erection, mm I bet it tastes delicious"

Severus moaned much louder this time his hands stroking their way down Remus' back moving in sensual motions making the hairs on the back of Remus' neck stand on end.

"Then what would you do to me?" Severus moaned kissing Remus on the cheek.

"Then I'd press my lips in soft kisses all over your erection and your rounded plump balls teasing you so much" Remus continued.

"Well I'd stroke my fingers over your perineum whilst I tongue your cock slit hungrily" Severus replied much to Remus' surprise.

Remus moaned shifting back he slid off and lay on his side beside Severus.

Severus' face dropped, shit, he had blown it and Remus didn't like him saying things like that.

"Sorry if I-I don't- mph!" he was silenced by Remus lips clamping down on his own, Remus body rolling him gently onto his side and pressing their bodies close, his fingers teased over Severus' chest before descending again stroking down his stomach towards his throbbing, aching erection.

Breaking the kiss, Remus slid down the bed pressing feather light kisses down Severus' torso. Severus propped himself up gazing down at Remus his eyes wide with surprise and lust.

Severus' breath caught in his throat as Remus pressed a kiss to the head of his leaking erection.

"Moan for me, beautiful" he growled playfully swiping his tongue across the tiny opening.

Severus gasped and moaned loudly spreading his legs so Remus could get more comfortable between them. He groaned as Remus' tongue traced from the base to the tip and his kiss swollen lips engulfed the head of his erection sucking on him lightly. Severus had an idea.

"You look gorgeous like that, sucking my cock, so dirty, still an innocent for the most part" Severus said huskily watching Remus shudder with pleasure, he liked it.

Remus began to suck slowly yet thoroughly on Severus' erection earning soft gasps and moans from him.

"You like that don't you? You like it when I put my mouth there, when my lips are on your cock" Remus moaned his hand moving to gently caress the inside of Severus' thigh brushing over a sensitive spot making him moan again. "Moan louder, be louder for me..."

Severus shuddered and moaned loudly as Remus' tongue began swirling around the head of his erection only to engulf him once again sucking much harder and faster. Severus gasped and groaned wiggling his hips a tiny but asking for more each time, he felt Remus gently rolling his balls through his fingers.

"Remus... I'm getting close" Severus breathed he could feel that pressure and rush building inside of him his balls slowly drawing up closer to his body as Remus continued to suck furiously on his aching member.

"Cum for me... in my mouth..." Remus moaned continuing to suck hard on his boyfriend's penis.

And that's all it took. Severus came hard with a loud cry, Remus' name whimpering off of his lips as he came into Remus' awaiting mouth, he felt dizzy the waves of his orgasm still crashing over him but he forced his eyes to stay open so he could see the beautiful expressions on Remus' face as he swallowed every last drop of semen licking Severus clean.

Severus slumped against the pillows he lay panting for a few moments feeling dazed and unbelievably happy. Remus shuffled back up the bed kissing his neck and grinning to himself.

"How was that?"

Severus turned to stare at Remus a grin spreading across his face. "It was brilliant, thank you"

"Good" Remus blushed. "Because you know I'd never done anything like that before"

"I know, our first ever kisses remember?" Severus smiled warmly. He was quiet for a few moments before he decided to speak again feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed. "Umm if you want then maybe I could-?" he gestured down the bed to Remus' own throbbing erection lay there lonely.

"You don't have to if you don't want to"

"I want to, do you want me to?" Severus flushed even further.

Remus smiled and nodded shyly. "I'd love that"

Severus smiled warmly, moving down he kissed his way down Remus' body his fingers roaming all over Remus' skin.

"Who is my hot, sexy, little werewolf?" Severus purred pressing kisses inside Remus' slender hips.

"Me" Remus moaned as Severus gently took his member by the base his lips kissing all over the thick length.

"You're a very naughty boy, Remus" Severus purred gently pulling his lover's foreskin back his tongue twirling around the damp leaking head lapping up the clear glistening fluid there before he teased the slit. Remus gasped and moaned loudly clenching the sheets in his tightly balled fists.

"You love it when I tease you, don't you?" Severus groaned giving Remus' member a rough suck watching Remus prop himself up so he could see what Severus was doing.

"Yes..." he replied hoarsely as Severus began to suck on him rhythmically, it felt incredible so warm and moist and strong, Remus couldn't help but moan repeatedly at the wonderful sensations. "Feels so good" he whimpered gasping as Severus kneaded his balls his fingers moving a little further back to stroke along his perineum and he moaned loudly.

"There's a good boy, Remus, feels good for you doesn't it? Makes you want more, makes you want to have an orgasm" Severus breathed using his lip to thoroughly tease Remus' throbbing erection.

"Yes..." Remus panted as Severus began to suck hard against him using his hand to massage the base of his penis only intensifying his pleasure.

"Mm I bet you'd love to soak me in your hot cum" Severus moaned sucking harder and faster.

Remus was now panting like a dog on a hot summers day, his fingers balled into tight fists clutching the bed sheets furiously his legs hanging wide open. He never knew Severus could be so dirty.

Severus picked up his pace one last time his fingers stroking and pressing his perineum he looked up holding eye contact with Remus and he continued to suck him off moaning each time his mouth slid up and down the large length of his lover's erection.

"Sev... I'm close" Remus panted his cheeks glowing with arousal as he gazed at his lover hungrily.

Severus moaned loudly the vibrations shuddering down Remus' cock. "Cum for me, cum in my mouth please" Severus moaned before picking up his pace sucking harder and faster the aroused look on his face proved to be too much for Remus who came with a cry.

"Severus!" he cried whimpering and gasping as his cock pressed into the back of Severus' mouth pulsating straight down his throat. Severus swallowed every single drop holding his mouth open giving Remus a show of the hot white semen on his tongue before his swallowed it and drew back still moaning to lick him clean.

Remus slumped back against the pillows and closed his eyes panting for breath, he had never seen anything so hot has Severus with his mouth full of cum moaning in pleasure when sucking him off. A shuffle caught his attention as Severus shuffled up the bed to snuggle down next to him burying his face in the crook of his neck.

Remus turned over and wrapped his arms around Severus pulling him closer and pressing kisses all over his face making the smaller boy laugh and blush.

"I never knew you were so dirty" Remus smirked when he drew back to gaze into Severus' quickly reddening face. "No need to look embarrassed I think it's a really hot turn on" Remus grinned lowering his voice.

"Well I was thinking about it and the whole idea of it really turns me on I know we're only messing when we say these things, well some of them anyway, and it really turns me on" Severus admitted.

"Mm that's good because apparently it turns me on as well" Remus grinned pulling Severus under the soft, cosy covers.

"I'm glad" Severus yawned snuggling right up to Remus and kissing him softly on the lips.

"How about we get some sleep then, it's Christmas day tomorrow we don't want to be tired for then?" Remus grinned excitedly his eyes sparkling he always loved Christmas even as a child but he didn't want to be too over the top this year in case it upset Severus, after everything that happened and losing his parents too he didn't want to see him upset on Christmas morning.

"Sounds good to me, Merry Christmas Remus" Severus smiled entangling their legs under the covers.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Severus" Remus smiled. He lay there for a few minutes watching as Severus drifted off, tired after his orgasm before he allowed himself to follow into an easy comfortable sleep.

The next morning Remus awoke first as he had expected feeling excited his head was buzzing with delight, he raised his head and glanced down the bed and saw two piles of presents on either side one for him and one for Severus. He grinned madly reaching up to rub his tired eyes before turning his attention to the still sleeping Slytherin who had during the night pulled his blanket up to rest the side of his face on his thumb in his mouth as he slept peacefully.

Leaning forward, Remus began to press kisses all over Severus' face in such a loving gesture he felt Severus' face twitch under his touch and he groaned confusedly.

Severus' dark eyes fluttered open to Remus pressing kisses all over his face again, he slipped his thumb from his mouth which was instantly covered by Remus' supple pretty lips. He moaned happily allowing himself to be kissed until Remus drew back grinning excitedly.

"Morning beautiful" he said cheerily instantly perking Severus up.

"Good morning to you too, handsome" he flushed a little.

"Guess what?" Remus said eagerly and Severus chuckled.

"What?"

"It's Christmas!" Remus beamed smiling bright enough to light an entire room. A grin spread across Severus face. "We've got presents come on let's open them" Remus said excitedly.

Severus stared at him confusedly for a few moments. "Huh?"

"We've got presents, look!" Remus said pointing down the bed and sure enough there were two stacks of presents on either side, a card on each pile clearly stated Remus and the other Severus.

"I've got presents?" Severus asked sitting bolt upright feeling shocked and confused.

Remus sat up slowly staring at him confusedly. "Yes... of course you have, go on have a look and hey open the ones wrapped in the pink metallic paper those are mine" Remus winked still staring at the shocked expression on Severus' face.

Severus looked to Remus' pile and pointed to the ones he wrapped in bright gold paper. "The gold ones are from me" he smiled warmly.

"You didn't need to get me anything" Remus chuckled watching Severus pick up one of the floppy presents carefully.

"Neither did you" Severus smiled opening the paper very carefully as though he didn't want to damage it. When it fell away he grinned inside was a pile of three t-shirts one just a plain black one, the other a dark navy with sort of a black tattoo print tribal pattern on it and the other plain and dark Slytherin green.

"What do you think?" Remus asked hopefully.

"They're really nice, thank you" Severus grinned pecking Remus on the cheek.

"Open the others" Remus smiled pointing to the other three parcels.

Severus picked up a smaller but heavier parcel opening the paper carefully once again he smiled, it was two advanced potion making books, he flipped the second one open his eyes scanning the contents and he blushed when he read the word 'Aphrodisiac's' and closed the book with a grin. "Thank you" he smiled pulling the next one towards him, being slightly less careful with the paper this time he opened it to find a brand new plain black cloak, his old one (not the school one) was starting to get very faded and worn he had it for several years and it was getting too short on him, this was a great present something practical and very useful.

"Do you like it?" Remus asked eagerly and Severus nodded.

"Definitely, it's amazing I really needed a new one" Severus grinned reaching for the last parcel, this one was much smaller wrapped much neater in a fairly flat box. Curiously Severus pulled off the paper he could feel Remus' eyes watching him closely as he carefully lifted the lid and gasped. Inside was a locket, a fairly large heart shaped locked with their name engraved on it.

"Open it up" Remus said nervously. He watched as Severus popped the tight closure and a piece of folded parchment fell out.

Severus gasped slightly again inside were two photographs on either side of the locket, a picture of him and a picture of Remus taken not that long ago actually. His eyes dropped to the parchment that was sitting on his lap, curiously h rested the locket down and picked it up, unfolding it he began to read.

_Severus x_

_I know this is only our first Christmas together but I want to make it special for you. You've had a tough year, we both had but I can't even begin to imagine the things you have gone through and I wanted to tell you I am so incredibly proud of you for pulling through this and putting your trust and faith in me, I can feel tears coming to my eyes at this very moment as I'm writing so if there's tear stains on the paper you know why. I know how hard you've been trying and I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, I know we can make it through anything together and I know for a fact that you need me just as much as I need you. I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even close, I've fallen so hard for you sometimes when I look into your eyes I feel like I can't breathe, get butterflies and I want to let you know I love you with all my heart and I swear I will never leave you. _

_Love, Remus xx_

Severus was in tears before he had even finished reading the letter he put it down carefully far enough away so it didn't get wet as he sobbed into his hands, tears running down his face.

"Severus, what's wrong?" Remus asked fear crashing over him, now he was frightened.

Severus shook his head. "Nothing is wrong" he sniffled as Remus wrapped his arms around him, Severus turned and buried his face in Remus' chest neither of them even cared that they were naked.

"Sev you're crying, did I say something wrong? You hate it don't you..." Remus said sadly.

Severus shook his head furiously. "No not at all I absolutely love it, I'm crying because I'm happy" he sniffed pulling back to gaze into Remus' face. "I love you so much you don't understand I can't even put it into words, if it wasn't for you I'd be dead you helped save me Remus you cared enough to keep me going and help make me strong an I am so grateful to you, I owe everything to you and I will never leave you either I promise" he said tears trickling down his cheeks.

By now Remus had also burst into tears of joy, he didn't even care how wet their faces were he pulled Severus in for a passionate kiss he wrote that letter from his heart, he hadn't been with Severus that long but he had fallen for him long before the incident in the hospital, hard and fast. Only the two people who say I love you are the ones that truly know if it's real, and in their case it most certainly is.

The drew apart slowly wiping their tear stained faced sniffling and grinning at one another.

Severus reached and carefully folded the letter up tucking it neatly back inside his locket before placing it around his neck smiling at Remus. "Thank you so much for the presents I really wasn't expecting anything"

"It's no problem, Sev, I don't have much money myself but I wanted to get you things that were heartfelt and things you would find useful" Remus replied.

"And they are" Severus smiled warmly pecking Remus on the lips. "Now open mine" he grinned.

Remus turned pulling the four gold wrapped parcels towards him he curiously picked up the lightest one first tearing off the paper he smiled. A pocket guide to the wonders of Lycanthropy and beneath it a book on how to properly mend your own torn or worn out clothing. "These are really thoughtful, thank you" he grinned resting it down and picking up the next he pulled off the paper, the next was actually a set, an art set of professional sketch pencils a thick sketch book and some pencil colours all were very good quality.

"I know you like artistic stuff and you like drawing so I thought you might find it useful" Severus chuckled.

"Sev this looks expensive you didn't need-"

"But I wanted to" the smaller boy said brightly, Remus leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

"Thank you it's lovely" Remus smiled picking up the third present, this one was larger than the others. Tearing off the paper he smiled it was a thick hoody line with a fluffy fleece material, pull over in black it would be a little big on him perfect for the cold weather, just what he wanted in fact.

"Practical?" Remus grinned kissing Severus again who nodded and blushed.

"You get cold really easily and I think it would look really good on you" he smiled.

"I love it, looks really warm and cosy" Remus smiled picking up the final present. It was a fairly small neat box, tearing off the paper he lifted the lid and gasped. It was a pocket watch, a nice one made from gold the hand finely crafted ticking away merrily, it looked fairly expensive.

"Severus how-"

"I got some money from my vault come through I wanted to get you something special and meaningful I saw this and thought you'd really like it so I bought it for you" Severus said brightly. "Do you like it?"

"I love it but how am I supposed to accept this, you shouldn't spend your money on me" Remus sighed but Severus shook his head.

"I bought it for _you_ because I wanted to and I want to make you happy, please just have it I know I don't have much money but me treat you a few gifts are nothing compared to what you've done for me" Severus smiled warmly.

Remus carefully placed the watch down and threw his arms around Severus crushing their lips together passionately, for a minute there he thought he might burst into floods of tears again.

"Thank you so much" Remus breathed.

"No need to thank me" Severus blushed a little as they drew apart.

"I love you so much" Remus said stroking Severus' cheek in a loving gesture.

"I love you too" Severus smiled back.

"Come on let's open the rest of these presents" Remus grinned reaching for the card on top of his pile he tore it open, it was a moving picture of a Christmas scene with Santa and his sleigh flying over the tops of houses snow falling from the sky in glistening flakes, he opened it and wasn't surprised to find it was from his parents wishing him a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

"It's from my parents" Remus mused looking up to see Severus was holding a Christmas card with a sparkling snow man glittering as flakes fell around him covering the brim of his smart, black top hat.

"So is this" Severus blushed holding it out to Remus who read aloud.

_To Severus, _

_Wishing you all the warm greetings for a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year, we look forward to meeting you during the summer and have you live with us. Take care of yourself Remus has been speaking so much about you in our letters. _

_Love Mr and Mrs Lupin x_

"That's really nice of them I'm glad I sent them that letter myself now" Severus grinned carefully placing the card on his bedside table, he stared at it for a few moments.

"You know it's the first Christmas card I've ever gotten" he sighed with a smile playing on his face, he tried to force the thoughts of his parents from his mind he didn't want to think about them today or get upset over it especially with how nicely everything was working out.

"Aww, Sev" Remus smiled hugging his boyfriend.

"I'm really grateful to your parents by the way"

"It's fine, they can't wait to meet you" Remus grinned excitedly.

"Yes they said and- hey! What have you been saying about me in your letters?" Severus pouted playfully making Remus blush a bit and look away.

"Hey look you've still got more presents to open!" Remus pointed to the rest of Severus' gifts trying to distract him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah distractions, distractions" Severus chuckled reaching out and picking up another present. "You can tell me about that later" he grinned checking the tag on the presents wrapped in gold paper, there were three of them. "These are also from your parents" Severus said actually rather shocked they had sent him anything.

"Well go on then, open them" Remus grinned excitedly the paper half hanging off one of his own presents wrapped in red, it appeared to be a pocket telescope.

Severus quickly unwrapped the first soft lumpy present, inside were two pairs of home-made knitted fluffy socks, one pair black one pair green and underneath them sat a brand new Slytherin school scarf. "Wow this is really nice, your parents didn't need to get me anything" Severus smiled warmly.

"They're really curious about you" Remus smile unwrapping his own present of hand knitted sock. "Remember, I've been telling them things about you" Remus winked playfully making Severus blush and reach for the next present which turned out to be a new set of ink, parchment and quills and a notebook. "Really nice" Severus breathed running his fingers admiringly over the set before putting it down and picking up the final parcel from them. He opened it curiously grinning at the large tub full of home -made Christmas cake he laughed when he saw they had sent Remus the same thing.

"We'll never eat all of this I wonder how long it keeps..." Remus sighed shaking his head slightly.

"Christmas cake keeps a long time you can keep it for months and it's fine, years in fact we'll get through it" Severus smiled at the impressed look on Remus' face.

"Ooh a master chef as on top of everything else, I am impressed" he grinned making Severus blush.

"I'm not a chef I just know these things" he chuckled.

"Very well" Remus grinned kissing him again.

The rest of the presents consisted of a box of chocolates each from Evan, A Remembrall each from Avery, a box of chocolate frogs each from Mulciber and Regulus sent them a card each both in the envelope printed 'House of Black' inside each of them was a Christmas card and a five galleon gift voucher for honey dukes each.

"FIVE GALLEONS?" Remus exclaimed his mouth hanging open with surprise, that was a fair amount of money especially to be spent on sweets.

"We're going to end up so fat" Severus laughed. "Lucky we remembered to send them some things for Christmas wasn't it?"

"Yeah I hope they like them.

They cleared up the wrappings chatting away happily to one another both of them glowing with the bright happiness of Christmas. Getting dressed Severus pulled on one of his new t-shirts and the green pair of knitted socks Remus' mother had made.

Remus sighed flopping down against the newly made bed covers grinning up at Severus, he extended his arms inviting the smaller boy down who immediately sank into him kissing the side of his marked neck.

"What a wonderful Christmas this is" Remus sighed happily.

"It's the best Christmas I've ever had to be honest" Severus admitted.

"The best Christmas you've had, so far" Remus corrected watching the grin spread across Severus' face.

"I really do love you, Remus" Severus smiled looking into Remus' beautiful blue eyes.

"I love you too, Severus" Remus smiled gazing lovingly back into Severus' pitch dark ones. "By the way, when did you get time to buy me stuff for Christmas?" he asked curiously.

Severus blushed "Whenever you were in the bath when we were in the hospital wing, I asked Madame Pomfrey to send the letters off and when the stuff arrived I hid it" Severus admitted. "You?"

"I did the same thing whenever you were sleeping during the day" Remus admitted a blush scattering across his cheeks and nose.

Severus sat up and reached into the tub of Christmas cake on his bedside table, taking a slice ut he began to munch on it hungrily. Remus quirked an eyebrow.

"Christmas cake for breakfast?"

"It's Christmas I can do whatever I want" Severus laughed watching Remus sit up and go into his own for some cake.

"Best save some room if we're going down for Christmas dinner later on, if it's anything like last night we'll both end up like fat little piggies" Remus beamed.

Severus burst out laughing. "I agree, your mother is an excellent cook"

"Thank you, wait until you're living with us she can make some great dinners, dad too" Remus added.

"I look forward to it" Severus chuckled.

The rest of Christmas day was spent mostly in the dormitory but they did go down into the common room for a little while to sit by the fire and read their new books. Christmas dinner was even more filling than last nights and by the time they had finished both boys retreated back to the common room, pulling on their pyjamas they slipped into bed neither of them able to keep their eyes open, full of food ready for sleep.

"I love you" Remus mumbled against Severus' lips.

"I love you too" Severus breathed. Seconds later and they were both sleeping their lips just brushing against one another's wrapped in each other's arms. Everything seemed to be getting so much better for Severus even though he still wasn't confident enough to go out of the common room or sometimes into the common room, he was anxious and dreading the impending student's return to school and the restart of lessons. Above all though he was so happy that Remus was there for him and returned his love.

Things were much better they could only hope that Severus coped well with going back to school...


	10. Showdown

A few days went by nice and smoothly, Severus seemed a little bit better. It was one night two days before New Year and they were sitting down in the Slytherin common room relaxing in front of the fire.

"Severus can I ask you something?" Remus asked quietly.

"Hmm? Of course you can" Severus replied his locket glinting merrily in the warm glow of the fire as the two boys snuggled up together.

"I was thinking that, if you want to maybe at the Easter holiday break that you would..." Remus said awkwardly.

"Would what?" Severus frowned confusedly.

"Would maybe want to... visit your parent's graves..." Remus said holding his breath he hoped he hadn't asked too soon and Severus wouldn't get too upset over this.

Severus was quiet a moment before taking a deep breath and nodding slowly. "Maybe by Easter I'll be feeling up to it right now I just, I just can't think about that"

"Severus you have to let yourself grieve please don't bottle it up I want you to be happy and to be able to let your emotions go a little bit more it will really help you I don't want to sound pushy but please let yourself grieve"

"I just don't want to break down in tears..." Severus said quietly focusing his eyes on the burning fire trying to hold back that prickling sensation in the back of his eyes. "I understand where you're coming from and that you want me to be able to mourn but I'm scared of what will happen if I do"

"I promise you you'll be fine, I'm here for you if you want to sit and have a cry then that's okay it's healthy, if you want to just think about it all through then that's okay it's healthy to let your emotions out once in a while trust me on this, but storing it all up it's going to have to come out at some point and when it does you'll be far more upset then when that happens it's not healthy" Remus said kissing Severus softly on the top of the head.

"I know" Severus whispered gazing up into Remus' face.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Can I tell you some stories about when I was little and that?" Severus asked quietly, it was getting late and they were completely alone it as the perfect opportunity to actually say anything.

"Of course go ahead I'd love to hear them" Remus smiled pulling Severus further into his lap snuggling up to him.

"Well when I was little and it was Christmas I never really remember having a Christmas tree" Severus began. "One day when I was six my dad came home with an artificial one, it wasn't that big but he had a box of decorations he sat them down and sat 'Severus why don't you help your dad decorate this tree' I was so excited, I helped him it took hours because I kept getting wrapped up in tinsel and because he was a Muggle he bought wired lights and I got all tangled up in the so he plugged them in and I ended up looking like a Christmas tree" Severus said and Remus started to laugh.

"I'll bet you looked adorable" he grinned making Severus flush.

"There's actually a photo somewhere in the house of that... my mum took it before she went ballistic at my dad for doing such a thing to me saying it was dangerous in the end we actually had a good laugh and I went to bed really fulfilled, that's one of the few happy memories I have from living at home" Severus said with a sigh.

"It's a very nice one to have, any more?" Remus asked curiously.

Severus thought for a moment before he nodded quickly. "I remember when my dad kept asking my mum if she wanted to have another baby, they talked for months but in the end they decided not to and in some ways I'm quite glad they didn't, other times I wish they did"

"I'm an only child as well, after I was bitten my mum and dad automatically wouldn't have another they didn't want to put me or another kid at risk, it was nobody's fault my dad still blames himself the only reason I was bitten was because my dad insulted Fenrir Greyback, he was close by the house on the night of a full moon, I was outside playing and he changed and then attacked me, I've still got the scars from it obviously they're cursed they'll never fully heal I had no defence against him until my mum ran out and managed to grab me after that I don't really remember what happened I was losing too much blood and I fainted after that everything just went downhill from there" Remus explained.

"Remus I am so sorry that happened to you, they haven't caught Greyback have they?"

Remus shook his head. "He's a well-known werewolf, the most savage one in existence apparently he's in league with Voldemort only being a half breed he can't actually join as a death eater so he's just sort of stuck as a grunt"

"I hope one day he gets what's coming to him" Severus said sternly.

"Maybe one day he will but for now let's forget about it" Remus smiled pulling Severus in for a kiss.

A little while later and they headed off up the stairs into the dormitory, they washed up and got changed into their pyjamas slipping beneath the bed covers they snuggled up together.

"This Christmas has been amazing I'm really, really happy I got to spend it with you" Severus said warmly entangling their legs under the covers.

"I'm happy I got to spend it with you too I love you, Severus" Remus said kissing the tip of his nose.

"I love you too, Remus" Severus smiled leaning in for a proper kiss on the lips.

Remus smiled snuggling up into Severus' chest it was usually the other way around but Remus fancied doing it today.

"You're so cuddly" Severus spoke stroking his fingers through Remus' floppy blonde hair.

"I hope that's a god thing" Remus said.

"Definitely" Severus whispered. They lay in silence for a few moments, Remus shifted under the covers and winced. "Are you still hurting?" Severus asked softly.

"Just a little" Remus replied. Last night had been the full moon meaning Severus had spent the night alone in the dormitory, he was going out of his mind he was restless, up and down pacing all night watching the seconds tick past at an unbearably slow rate, fear was constantly crashing over him he lay chewing his finger nails down so far they bled, he had even lay crying for a while he hated being alone, hated the thought of Remus out there being alone and hurting unable to even think with his full state human mind, he lay listening intently paranoid someone was coming for him, something awful was going to happen he had even managed to lose himself inside the maze of his own mind until finally in the early hours of the morning the door clicked open and Remus appeared limping through the door. Severus had instantly thrown back his covers and leapt from the bed throwing his arms around Remus smothering him with kisses and crying into his chest.

'_It's okay Severus I'm here I'm okay' Remus had whispered. _

'_I was so worried about you I was going out of my mind' Severus heard himself say. _

'_Don't worry I'm here you're not alone I'm okay I'm just tired and sore' Remus whispered._

After that they had climbed back into bed snuggling up to one another both of them completely exhausted by the events. They fell asleep almost instantly and didn't wake up until mid-afternoon still wrapped in each other's arms.

"You'll be okay soon, won't you?" Severus whispered his eyebrows knotting into a concerned frown.

Remus just smiled pressing kisses to the small amount of exposed skin of Severus' pale chest. "I'll be fine as long as I have you" he whispered his breath hot against the skin.

"You've got me" Severus smiled warmly.

"Do you promise?" Remus asked hopefully.

"Always" Severus breathed tilting Remus' face up to kiss him on the lips.

The next day arrived and it was New Years eve, the buzz around the school even though there were hardly any students left, was strong.

"New year tomorrow and a new start" Remus smiled as they sat down in the common room together.

"I know I'm looking forward to putting this shitty fucking year behind me" Severus sighed resting his head on Remus' shoulder.

"Next year will be much better I know it" Remus said an air of excitement in his voice. "I know this might be a bit too soon but how about we go and sit in the library for a little while today just to sort of get out for a bit and get you used to being in public it will be better for you than sitting in here all the time and having to jump in at the deep end when lessons restart in a few days" Remus suggested.

Severus froze, he had been dreading going back to lessons ever since he was in the hospital wing. What would everybody say, what would they think, how would they react to his presence? Surely it wouldn't be good...

"Severus?" Remus asked worriedly breaking his train of thought.

"Huh?"

"Do you feel like going to the library?" Remus asked calmly.

Severus swallowed the lump in his throat fear washing over him, he had to confront this he had to do it for Remus he couldn't expect the boy to just sit about in the dormitory all day and do nothing he had a life too and it wouldn't be fair to make him hide away as well.

"Yes..." he said so quietly Remus almost didn't hear him.

"Shall we go now then?" Remus asked lacing his fingers through Severus' reassuringly giving him such a lovely warm smile. Remus was there for him and Severus trusted him.

He nodded getting to his feet they walked out of the common room and down the dungeon corridor, nobody was loitering around and Severus breathed a sigh of relief as they headed for the stairs. In a small corner of his mind he was actually rather looking forward to going to the library he hadn't been there since before the incident it was a place that was rather comforting to him he used to spend so much time in there even if he wasn't doing anything in particular just being around the old books in such a quiet peaceful place, not that many people went there especially during the school hours, early morning and weekends so Severus got the chance to really have some quiet time there.

They walked in silence up the stairs, Severus spotted a small group of students on another staircase they stopped to stare at him leaning over the banister to get a better look whispering excitedly amongst themselves. Severus tensed up shuffling closer to Remus who immediately looked to him his blue eyes shot to the group of students and he did something that shocked even Severus, he stuck his middle finger up at them and pulled Severus out along the corridor towards the library.

"Wow Remus..."

"You forget I was once a Marauder, I still have a cheeky side to me" Remus winked making Severus blush furiously trying to depict what sort of cheeky side he really could have.

"Is someone getting ideas?" Remus chuckled glancing slyly down to Severus who nodded.

"I was just trying to decide what sort of cheeky stuff you really are capable of" Severus smirked watching the light blush scatter across Remus' handsome face.

Remus smirked letting go of Severus' hand he gently pushed him up against the wall pinning him there their lips barely an inch apart. "Is this the sort of cheeky you had in mind?" he growled playfully.

Severus had to force back a moan his eyes fell from Remus' startling blue eyes to his rosy cupids bow lips a smile curling in the corners of them.

"Something you want?" Remus breathed his tongue gently trailing along his bottom lip hungrily.

"Yes..." Severus whispered his eyes fluttering closed for barely a moment.

"And what is that?" Remus smirked watching the excited slightly embarrassed look appear on Severus' pretty face.

"Kiss me" Severus whispered.

"With pleasure" Remus breathed leaning forward and pressing their lips together in the most tender of kisses their tongues moved together rhythmically as they kissed, Severus couldn't hold back the soft moan that vibrated into Remus' mouth.

"Good afternoon boys" a cheerful older male voice spoke.

Severus' blood ran cold, they broke the kiss Remus' face resting against Severus' as they looked to see who it was talking to them.

"Oh Professor" Remus said standing himself up straight and moving his arms to gently take Severus' hands instead.

"I saw you down the other end of the corridor, I didn't want to interrupt I was planning on going a different way but I thought I'd take the opportunity to ask how you're feeling" the potions master said with a smile looking between them.

"We're doing okay" Severus smiled trying to force the blush on his face back down.

"Yeah we were just headed to the library for a bit trying to get out for a little while before the rest of the school comes back" Remus explained.

"A fine idea, get your bearings back" Slughorn nodded glancing to Severus.

"Yeah and get used to being out and about again before lessons resume" Severus added.

"Definitely I expect students will be very curious about your return" Slughorn nodded watching Severus grow increasingly uncomfortable. "You'll be alright though nobody is going to hurt you though and if anyone does give you any grief then please come and let me know right away so I can deal with it"

"I will"

"Good and I thought I should let you know that some students have been asking for you and your Slytherin friends have been very protective" Slughorn smiled watching Severus' eyebrows raise questioningly.

"W-what, why?" Severus asked confusedly.

"They were wondering if you were alright and if you were coming back to lessons" Slughorn replied. "You're a very lucky boy Severus, having Remus to take care of you seems to be doing you a world of good"

"It is he's unbelievably amazing" Severus flushed a little looking up to Remus whose expression mirrored.

"I'm glad he's helping you through all of this it must still be a difficult time for you and I do hope things get much better for you, it's a New year and a new start so best of luck for that" Slughorn smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you Professor" Severus said quietly.

"I'll leave you to it, take care!" the older man waved as he headed off down the corridor presumably going back to the dungeons.

"Come on let's get to the library" Remus smiled guiding Severus off into the library.

The library was as silent as always, Severus couldn't help inhaling deeply as they walked in grinning at the familiar scent of the old books.

"Oh Severus it's good to have you back" Madame Pince commented with a smile very unusual for her face.

Severus turned to stare at her and smiled weakly. "Thank you"

"And mister Lupin too it is nice to have some students in who actually respect the books for a change" she sighed shaking her head and turning her attention back to the book she was writing in.

"Come on let's go find a seat" Remus smiled draping an arm around Severus' lower back. They made their way through the familiar rows of bookshelves winding their way right to the very back corner, the most secluded where they finally sat down.

"It's actually quite nice to be here" Severus said quietly as Remus shuffled his chair closer to Severus turning to face him.

"See I knew you'd be alright, you've engaged in two conversations today, well almost two but that's a start" Remus smiled.

"Yeah I know, I just love the smell of the library" Severus mused.

"I know what you mean, it's so nice and quiet in here although sometimes I have to admit I do fall asleep" Remus chuckled making Severus laugh.

"I can safely say that I've done the same thing" the Slytherin flushed a little.

"Mm come here, Sev" Remus pulled him into a warm hug. "I'm so proud of you"

"You don't need to be proud of me I haven't really done anything..."

"Yes you have look how much better you're getting, albeit you still have a long way to go and it takes time but I can't express how pleased I am with your progress" Remus kissed him on the cheek.

"I wouldn't be like this now if I didn't have you, in fact if I didn't have you I probably wouldn't be here right now at all" Severus muttered cuddling up to Remus.

"Don't talk like that the important thing is you're alive and you're getting well" Remus said.

A couple of hours passed before they finally decided to get up and leave. There was a party going on in the great hall but Severus really didn't fancy it, he did however offer to go if Remus wanted to but the blonde boy shook his head saying he couldn't be bothered with all the fuss he just wanted to spend a quiet new year in with Severus.

Severus came out of the bathroom dressed in a short black nightshirt about an inch and a half longer than his genitals, it was borderline dangerous with his little black socks on. The second Remus saw him he cat called.

"Ooft it must be illegal to look that sexy" he purred sitting himself upright to gaze at Severus, his eyes lingering on his legs.

Severus blushed awkwardly. "It was the only clean one I had today"

"Mm make sure it's the only clean one you have every day those legs are incredible" Remus grinned his eyes wandering back up to Severus' face.

"They're scarred..."

"Still the nicest pair of legs I've ever seen" Remus blushed a little flopping back down still gazing at Severus.

Severus blushed even further. "Thank you"

"Why don't you come here and let me get a closer look?" Remus grinned and Severus knew instantly he wanted to do something playful.

Severus looked delighted as he made his way over to the bed, he was starting to feel a bit better about himself and his appearance, he still believed he was ugly as sin and very unappealing but Remus was making him feel better about the way he looked, he guessed if Remus found him attractive that counted for much more than everyone else.

Remus immediately pulled him into a kiss pressing his lips merrily against Severus' making silly unnecessary, but cute all the same noises.

Severus giggled as Remus' hands cheekily slid up his pale slender thighs and a strange excitable noise escaped Remus' throat.

"No underwear?"

Severus' face went red although his face looked rather gracious. "No underwear"

"Mind if I take a look? You're too tempting to resist" Remus tittered causing Severus' face to redden further but he kissed Remus on the lips with his consent.

Remus' right hand slid up his tight his fingers curling at the base of his night shirt before he lifted it back exposing Severus' soft, highly attractive balls and penis.

"Mm very, very nice" he mused gazing lovingly at them. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Severus' balls then his penis before covering them back up and moving to kiss his lover once again.

"Can I see your bum?"

Severus quite literally burst out laughing at such a question. "What?"

"Can I see your bum?" Remus asked again, hopefully.

Severus smiled and rolled onto his tummy peeking up at Remus whose eyes dropped from his face to the dark fabric encasing Severus' bottom. He lifted back the material slowly revealing Severus' small, rounded, plump backside his face lit up instantly.

"Now that is a beautiful arse" Remus' whole face was twinkling.

"Thank you" Severus flushed burying his face in his pillow.

Remus' fingers reached out and gently began to stroke over Severus' backside, one cheek then the other and back again.

"You have a really nice bum" Remus breathed shuffling closer to kiss Severus on the lips.

"Can I see yours?" Severus blushed as they drew apart.

Remus bit his bottom lip a smile still on his face as he rolled onto his stomach and shamelessly flipped up the back of his own night shirt revealing his bare arse.

Severus groaned smirking at Remus' bum he reached out to touch it feeling the smooth supple skin under his hand. "It's very, VERY nice, mmm" he smiled.

"Thanks"

"So what do you want to do to celebrate New Year?" Severus asked cuddling closer to Remus.

"I was thinking maybe we could just talk, cuddle and mess around a little just hanging out like" Remus replied casually.

"Sounds cool to me" Severus grinned.

They lay talking for what seemed like hours, telling fun stories, making jokes and generally having a laugh together. Midnight was approaching and Remus pulled out his Pocket Watch to check the time.

"Five minutes to go"

"Umm Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something I want to do..." Severus said nervously shifting closer to him.

"What's that?" Remus asked the curiosity in his voice peaking.

"Well there's this thing that people do on New Year, they wait until the clock strokes Midnight-it's for couples you see- and they kiss each other to promote good times ahead for them in the New Year and stuff I was hoping that maybe we could do it?" Severus' face turned pink.

Remus just smiled and nodded. "Sounds great to me"

They sat waiting excitedly, four minutes, three minutes, two minutes... one minute.

Thirty seconds...

"Remus I want to tell you again how grateful I am for everything you've done" Severus said with a bright happy smile, an honest smile.

Twenty four...

"Don't be I'm always going to be here for you, you'll have me forever and always" Remus replied gently stroking the side of Severus' face.

Nineteen seconds...

"And I want you to know I'll always be there for you too, ALWAYS" Severus breathed leaning in closer, their eyes kept wandering to the clock.

"I love you so much, Severus"

Ten...

"I love you too, Remus promise me you'll never leave me" he whispered their faces drawing forever closer.

Five...

"I swear" Remus replied. "Two..."

"One..." Severus whispered and their lips finally touched as the hand struck twelve bringing forth January the first of a brand New Year.

Neither of them cared right now, their lips crushed together ferociously their tongues desperately caught in a battle for dominance of Remus' mouth their hands were roaming everywhere as they plopped down against the pillows.

When they drew apart they were both panting, flushed and excited.

"That was some kiss..." said Severus.

"Mm nice lips" Remus grinned looking rather dazed and warm.

"You too" Severus chuckled pulling him in for another.

By the time they had managed to pull their faces apart it was almost three in the morning and neither of them could keep their eyes open any longer.

They spent pretty much the whole of New Years day playing chess and finishing off any set homework over the holidays, they even sat down in the common room for a little while. Severus seemed a little better.

Late in the afternoon the two of them were lying on the bed in the dormitory, Remus reading and Severus watching him, his mind elsewhere.

This was the first year without his parents, he could officially say they died last year, they were gone and they were never coming back. The reality of the situation wasn't quite as full on as it should have been as Severus hadn't been to their funeral or to see their graves and it was playing increasingly on his mind, especially today.

He sighed inwardly, he was extremely grateful to Remus' parents for giving him a home and although he was nervous about meeting them and worried about what they would think he was still excited at the prospect of meeting his family, finding out where he lived, how he grew up and what the house would be like. Anything would be better than where Severus came from and by the sounds of how kind his parents are, things were looking pretty positive for the young Slytherin.

He had to worry to some degree though of what they would think of him, he had after all tried to commit suicide, he had been bullied, he used to take drugs, he was an ex cutter, his family were atrocious, he had no money, he was a Slytherin... the list just went on and on...

"A sickle for your thoughts?" Remus asked resting the book on the bedside table.

"Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?" Remus smiled warmly.

"I've just been thinking about my parents and how grateful I am to yours" Severus smiled back cuddling himself closer.

Remus' face lit up slightly his fingers gently caressing Severus' side. "It's good to think about them you know, it won't do you any harm as I said before you need to allow yourself to grieve"

"I'm trying to it's hard to just let it all out, it doesn't seem real, that house all empty and cold... they're really gone and it's difficult to get my head around the fact I'm the only family member left, there's just... nobody" Severus said sadly as he played with the buttons on the front of Remus' shirt.

"You still have me and my family, you know you're welcome at my house my parents are really looking forward to meeting you" Remus said.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to them and how happy I am that I have you, it makes me feel good"

"And it should" Remus replied. "I know you probably already know this, Severus, but you aren't alone I'm here for you and so are your friends, we all want to help you and I don't want to sound pushy or stalkerish but I am still so proud of you, you're coming a long way and I hope this continues when we go back to lessons in a couple of days"

Severus chewed his bottom lip absent mindedly, his eyes still fixated on Remus' fascinating buttons until finally the werewolf's thumb gently moved down and freed the abused lip from Severus' teeth.

"I want to be the best I can because I want to make you happy and proud of me" he said finally. "I'll do it for you, I want to prove to you I am strong"

"Good and I want you to show the rest of the school that you're coming back and nobody is going to ruin your life any more" Remus said with a firm, motivating smile.

"I'll do my best" Severus smiled.

"That's all anyone asks for" Remus whispered leaning in for a kiss.

A few days passed and the day of arrivals had come sooner than expected. Now Severus was feeling very nervous, his friends would be back from their Christmas Holiday's just in time for the start of the next school term the following day. Severus' stress levels were climbing rapidly.

He hid up in the dormitory buried under his bed covers refusing to come out, he wasn't ready for this he had to prepare. It was so much easier to say he would improve, to say he would face the public and be strong than it was done.

Remus seemed to completely understand, instead of saying anything he slid under the covers behind Severus and cuddled him pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck and burying his face in his hair. Those simple loving gestures comforted Severus. Remus knew it was going to be hard for Severus, he knew how awkward and uncomfortable he would feel and how bad it would be to bring back all of those memories to the surface and have to cope with them in the stressful environment again, but this time he wasn't alone he had support and love and good people around him, the school obviously weren't going to let the Marauders get away with anything and Remus had a good mind to hunt them down on his own and have it out with them, the thought of them coming back to school and not being expelled made him sick and lose some of the respect he had for Dumbledore.

They lay like that for a long time just enjoying each other's company, Severus relaxed drastically in Remus' arms he loved to feel so comfortable and at home with him.

"The other's will be back any minute now" the werewolf said slowly, breaking the silence.

Severus automatically tensed at the words and gave a small nod. "Let's sit up so it doesn't look rude when they come in"

"Okay"

They moved so Remus was lounging up against the headboard with Severus' face resting on his chest, their arms wrapped around each other.

"Is it still snowing outside?" Severus asked quietly.

"I think so, can't tell from down here though" Remus chuckled.

"I love the snow" Severus mused to himself. "It's beautiful, just not when you're outside in it getting soaking wet and freezing cold"

"Or when you slip and fall on your arse in front of people" Remus chuckled.

"You've done that before?"

Remus laughed and nodded. "Yeah fell right on my backside, I thought 'oh good nobody saw' so I turned around and there were loads of people behind me looking at me like I was stupid"

Severus couldn't help but laugh. "Aww"

The door clicked open making Severus jump, he clung onto Remus' shirt tightly feeling the werewolf's arms wrap around him giving him a gentle squeeze.

"Hello" Avery greeted with a bright smile as he came shuffling in with his things. "You're out!" he exclamined grinning at Severus as Mulciber and Evan came hurrying in behind him smiling at Severus and Remus.

Severus blushed slightly feeling very awkward. "Yeah I got out in time for Christmas"

"That's great news, how are you feeling?" Mulciber asked kicking off his boots and throwing his cloak on top of his trunk.

"Not so bad thanks, how was your Christmas?" Severus said immediately changing the subject, this apparently had not gone unnoticed.

"It was great thanks I ate way too much Turkey" Mulciber laughed, the others nodded their agreements.

"Yeah thank you for the present by the way" Avery said quickly.

"No problem thanks for yours" Remus replied, he still felt slightly uncomfortable about being around them in their dormitory on their territory, after all he was still a Gryffindor.

"So what have you been up to over the holidays then?" Evan asked carefully.

"Nothing much we've just been spending all our time together really" Remus said casually and almost rolled his eyes as a mad grin spread across each of their faces.

"Ohh I see, wink wink" Avery teased.

"There's no 'wink wink' about it we haven't had sex" Remus sighed.

They all stood and stared at the two boys in confusion.

"You really haven't had sex?" Mulciber frowned slightly. They shook their heads.

"No we're both still virgins" Severus said quietly.

"Aww that's well cute, so you haven't had a bit of a knuckle shuffle together then?" Avery teased watching their faces turn bright red.

"We might have done..." Remus said.

"AHA!" Evan pointed bursting into fits of laughter.

"Oh shush, it's not like you don't do it in the bathroom when you think nobody is around" Severus teased. Evan instantly stopped laughing and a light blush appeared on his pale face. Now it was everyone else's turn to laugh.

When they finally calmed down, Evan stalked off into the bathroom in a mood to brush his teeth and have a quick wash ready for bed.

"So Remus are you staying in here with us permanently then?" Avery asked curiously as he pulled on his nightshirt.

"Uhh yeah if that's alright I thought you were okay with it" Remus said worriedly glancing between the two boys.

"It's fine by us even if you are a Gryffindor you're pretty decent and you're good for Severus" Avery said nodding to him.

"Thanks?" Remus chuckled lightly not sure whether it was supposed to be a compliment or an insult.

"It's a good thing" Avery flashed a smile before slipping into bed.

"I'm so nervous..." Severus muttered taking some fresh pyjamas from the drawer and pulling the drapes shut around the bed.

"Don't be you'll be absolutely fine" Remus said comfortingly slipping into his own night shirt, he knew Severus wouldn't want to change in front of the others not so soon at least with all the marks and scars that still remained contrasting against his beautiful snowy skin.

Remus watched as Severus quickly and nervously stripped and pulled on his pyjamas burying himself beneath the blankets before anyone could see him. Remus smiled sliding in beside him pulling Severus into his arms protectively, all Severus needed right now was for somebody to hold him and tell him everything was okay, Remus knew Severus was still in a bit of a mess and he was still upset about his parents he would often wake up crying in the night, Remus needn't say anything to him about it just cuddle and kiss him until he settled down again, all Severus wanted was Remus' love and attention just to make him feel better again and that's what Remus planned to do.

"I know it's hard for you right now, Severus, but you aren't alone I care about you and so do your friends nobody wants to see you sad or hurt and that won't happen I can't stop you from thinking bad things but I can stop them from happening" Remus said quietly kissing the top of Severus' head.

"I just want to stay with you and be happy like we have been all Christmas"

"And that is exactly what will continue, have a little faith in yourself" Remus smiled. "Besides it's your birthday in just a few days, next weekend in fact you should be looking forward to it"

"I never look forward to my birthday" Severus said quietly.

"Well this one you should, come on it's a new start and everything is going to get so much better from now on" Remus smiled.

"It's going to be very difficult"

Remus gave a light chuckle. "Believe me, I know difficult I'm barely human, in fact I'm not human" he said quietly.

Severus looked up at him and shuffled even closer resting his head on Remus' chest. "I can hear your heartbeat, you are a human to me"

"I'm also a monster"

"I don't think you are, you just have a... problem... but it doesn't bother me you're still Remus and still love you"

"Thank you" Remus whispered kissing the top of Severus' head inhaling his warm scent, he was just so perfect how could anyone love a monster, Remus never thought he would ever find someone especially someone who thought he was lovely even with his Lycanthropy, he really had struck platinum with Severus.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever met" Remus breathed nuzzling Severus' long silky black hair.

"No you're the most amazing person you've ever met, you put up with me and my problems and now you've lost those... friends of yours"

"Those vile excuses for human beings are not my friends and they never will be again, they lost that right after what they did to you and I won't ever let them hurt you again" Remus said hugging Severus tighter.

"If you think about it, I guess we're both fucked" Severus chuckled making Remus laugh.

"I can agree with you there, all in good fun eh?" he laughed again. "I was bitten by a fully grown werewolf when I was little, I'm an outcast, unpopular, I'll never have a proper job for very long, I'm poor, I'm a horny teenager and I'm not the most appealing looking guy around"

"I think you're gorgeous and the horny part just excites me" Severus grinned. "I'm an orphaned, abused, ugly cunt I'm far less popular than you, I don't have any blood family left, I used to spent a lot of my time off my face on drugs and I tried to kill myself"

"Things will be fine they are so much better, no more bullying or killing or drugs" Remus said softly kissing the back of Severus' head again.

"No more bad times" Severus breathed twisting his face a little and closing his eyes.

"What are you up to?" Remus chuckled.

"Listening to your heart beating... it's really soothing" Severus smiled to himself. An idea came into his head and very slowly with a smirk on his face he let his hand trail slowly down Remus' body lingering at the hem of his night shirt. He heard Remus' breath catch in his throat his heart rate picked up a little. Smiling to himself he slowly slid his hand under the night shirt stroking his fingers gently along Remus' thighs towards his crotch.

"Your heart is picking up a little" he chuckled.

Remus let out a small laugh kissing the top of Severus' head. He emitted a very soft moan as Severus' fingers moved closer to Remus' hardening member.

"You get horny very easily, Remus" Severus smiled to himself his hand crawling further between the boy's legs and gently stroking his soft balls earning another small groan.

"Well that's because you're sexy, you're touching me in naughty places and I'm a teenage boy full of testosterone" Remus chuckled kissing the top of Severus' head and stroking his hair.

"I'm far from sexy but thank you anyway" Remus blushed.

"Don't be silly, you are very sexy I find you so attractive" Remus smiled tilting Severus' face up to look at him.

Severus bit his bottom lip for a moment blushing. "Close your eyes" he breathed. Remus stared at him curiously for a moment but did as he was told, frowning as he felt Severus'shuffling down the bed. Remus jumped and groaned softly covering his mouth with his hand as he felt Severus flop back his night shirt and run his tongue down the length of his member.

"Mm lovely hard cock" Severus groaned softly moving so he could gently slip Remus' foreskin back using his lips. He glanced up at Remus who had now propped himself up his eyes wide and cheeks flushed to watch. Severus emitted a soft moan again his tongue darting out to lap the clear glistening fluid beading at the tip. "You're really sexy" Severus breathed using his lips to gently tug at Remus' foreskin watching the expressions of pleasure wash over the Gryffindor's face.

"Very sexy" he smiled before engulfing the head of Remus' member in his mouth. Remus gasped covering his mouth once again trying to quieten himself, his hips gave a tiny buck and his back arched off the bed a little, his eyes wide as he felt Severus sucking roughly on his hard penis.

"Oh gods that's... oh shit!" Remus panted quietly.

It wasn't long before he felt that familiar pooling sensation in the pit of his stomach, that building rush tingling throughout his body. His toes were curling as he grabbed the pillow and shoved it over his face.

Severus smirked to himself with amusement picking up his pace. "Your penis tastes so good I love sucking you dry"

Remus let out a soft whimper.

Severus quickened his movements one final time groaning, the vibrations flowing down the shaft of his cock making Remus shudder with pleasure, his panting increased.

"I'm cumming..." he whispered stuffing the pillow further into his face.

Severus smiled to himself and gave one long, hard suck before Remus exploded a flow of his hot liquid down Severus' throat, whimpering his name with pleasure. Severus swallowed repeatedly pulling back to lap up every last drop effectively, sucking him dry.

Slowly, Severus pulled back reaching up he lifted the pillow from Remus' face watching the blonde boy panting his cheeks pink with pleasure as he gazed at Severus lovingly.

"How was that?" Severus smiled feeling rather flustered and embarrassed now, his own member throbbed in his trousers.

"Fucking great" Remus grinned his breathing slowly returning to normal, he reached up and pulled Severus down for a tender, loving kiss giggling playfully.

When they drew apart Remus' face instantly lit up. "Can I do it to you?"

Severus' cheeks went up in flames his dark eyes dropped to the bed covers and he nodded slowly. Before he realised what was happening Remus took him gently and flipped them over so he was lying flat on his back against the covers his bottoms being tugged down. And he moaned.

Half an hour later and an intensive orgasm for Severus, they were both tucked under the warm, cosy covers snuggled up together fast asleep. Severus didn't even have the time to be nervous or worry about lack of sleep tonight thanks to the thorough blow job Remus had given him completely relaxing his body.

He could only hope and dream that tomorrow would go much better than he anticipated, that everything would be okay...

The next morning arrived in the blink of an eye and unsurprisingly, Severus was the first one awake. He yawned the light filtering through a crack in the heavy hanging emerald drapes. Slowly he blinked himself awake rubbing his tired eyes. That's when it hit him, it was the first day back at school for the new year. A horrible wave of nausea hit him and he felt dizzy with nerves, what would people say? They would all be staring at him, whispering about him, making speculations... What would they think of him? None of them could possibly have forgotten what happened little over a month ago, he had tried to kill himself in front of a classroom full of students and a teacher, people wouldn't put that out of their minds especially when they saw him.

Severus swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat and closed his eyes in a long slow blink he glanced at Remus who was snuggled right up against him sleeping peacefully. Remus always made him feel better even just lookin at him made Severus relax considerably, Remus was good and safe and he promised he wouldn't let any harm come to him no matter how hard today would be.

Severus breathed a long drawn out breath, he felt bad for what he was about to do but he was sure Remus would understand. Gently he began to shake Remus pressing soft kisses to his cheek.

"Remus... Remus I feel really sick... Remus I'm scared" his voice cracked as he tried to keep his voice down.

Remus' blonde brows furrowed very briefly before those beautiful Azure eyes fluttered open. He gazed at Severus confusedly for a moment still not fully awake.

"Remus I don't feel very good" Severus said sadly.

Remus' eyes widened and he sat upright rubbing his eyes before turning his attention back on Severus. "Come here" he said pulling the smaller boy into his arms. "Do you think you're going to be sick, do you want to go to the bathroom?"

Severus gave a small shrug. "No it's just nerves I should be okay in a minute"

"Okay what's the time?" Remus said calmly reaching onto the bedside table and checking his pocket watch. "We've got just under an hour until breakfast do you want to go back to sleep or get up?"

"Get up I know I can't sleep like this I might end up actually being sick, I feel really worked up" Severus swallowed.

"Okay that's fine, just a cuddle then?" Remus smiled kissing the top of his silky black head. Severus nodded quickly burying his face in Remus' warm chest.

They remained like that for a few minutes, the seconds ticking by at a disturbing fast rate. Why was it that every time Severus didn't want to do something time seemed to speed by faster than the latest model of racing broom.

"Don't be nervous, Severus" Remus' voice broke the silence. "People might stare and they might talk but nobody is going to have the courage to confront you about it especially not on the first day all you have to do is hold you head high for one measly day and tomorrow things will be much easier and with every day that passes things will get much better"

"I'm just so frightened" Severus whispered burying his face in Remus' neck.

"It's okay I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, at lunch we can even come back up here for a while just to let you get a break from being in with everyone so much" Remus smiled. "Remember, everything has changed everything is good now you're going to be happy and we'll be together and people can see there's nothing wrong with you all you have to do is smile and prove to them you're worth it and you're amazing" Remus said again tilting Severus' chin up so he could look him in the eye.

"I love you so much"

"I love you too, Remus" Severus smiled without any hesistation.

"So how about we get ready then go down to breakfast early?" Remus shot a lopsided grin making Severus chuckle.

"Okay" he nodded. Severus wasn't sure how he always managed it, but Remus was ridiculously crafty when it came to convincing him.

Remus pulled back the drapes and slipped out from under the covers collecting up their clothes from the fresh pile he cast a quick warming charm on Severus' before handing them over to him with a kiss on the cheek. The other's were already up and watched the scene with a small smile playing on their faces.

"Thanks" Severus said feeling slightly flustered especially knowing the others were watching.

"No problem" Remus winked turning to pull on his own clothes, he watched as Severus hurried into to bathroom knowing he was planning to hide and get dressed in there so the other's didn't see his scars which was understandable.

"Hey Lupin- um Remus?" Avery called making his way over to the smaller Gryffindor boy. He stopped right in front of him as Remus quickly buttoned the front of his shirt so the other's didn't see his own scars even if they were quite faded.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say that I think what you've done for Severus is great and I mean... I'm not good with this kind of shit but I think the way you've brought him round and made him so much better if he didn't have you he would be dead I know it" Avery said awkwardly, he wasn't entirely sure how well Remus would react to him saying something being a very intimidating Slytherin he hated putting his guard down but when it came to his friends he always helped them as best he could.

"Oh yeah I mean, Severus is doing really well he's fine now just a little nervous still got a way to go until he's entirely better but I love him and I'll do anything for him" Remus smiled.

"In some ways" Evan said coming up behind Avery. "We blame ourselves a little for not understanding how bad he was he always hid his emotions and stuff"

"It's not your fault, it's not Severus' fault either it's those who did this to him" Remus said.

"We still feel guilty for not knowing or helping him any" Evan said awkwardly.

What they didn't know was that Severus was standing against the bathroom door, fully dressed and ready listening to everything they were saying and it made him feel... happy to know they were all being so nice about him, especially Remus the way he was willing to declare love for him even to his rather intimidating Slytherin dorm mates.

"He hid it very well I knew he was having problems but I didn't know to what extent I won't go into any detail because I believe in confidentiality and I wouldn't tell anyone anything he has told to me" Remus replied slowly. "This might sound really stupid to you but to me it feels good, I get this warm feeling whenever I see him smile"

And with that, Severus opened the door. Without a word he crossed the room and pulled Remus into his arms burying his face in his neck pressing soft kisses to his skin.

"Thank you" Severus whispered.

Remus smiled and cuddled him tighter for a few minutes until they pulled apart slowly.

"We'd ought to go and get something to eat before it gets any later if you don't want to be there when the great hall is full" Remus said glancing across to his pocket watch, he felt Severus automatically tense in his arms his eyes widening ever so slightly. "It'll be fine don't worry about it"

"Yeah if anyone gives you beef we'll smash their teeth into their throat" Avery said loudly cracking his knuckles against the palm of his hand. Mulciber stood beside him grinning maliciously and Evan looked like he was over the moon with joy at that statement, he was always slightly sadistic and unstable.

"Umm, thanks" Severus said hesitantly.

"Come on" Remus said handing Severus his school bag. "One second" Remus headed into the bathroom and reappeared moments later heading towards the door he opened it standing watching Severus.

Taking a deep breath Severus walked forwards and through the open door, he could feel the students in the school hear the familiar noises of a normal school day of the other boys in the other dormitories banging about or even the very faint snores from next door. Remus carefully laced his fingers through Severus' giving his hand a gentle reassuring squeeze and oh! One of those heart warming smiles that had Severus melting from the sight of it.

Very slowly they made their way down into the common room, there were a few students down there, different to the ones that were there over Christmas, they were sitting talking by the fire or by the windows watching the giant squid floating past in the lake.

They immediately stopped talking upon setting eyes on Severus, a few of them nudged each other and they stared at him blankly watching as he walked past with Remus. Severus tried his best not to look at them to try and ignore the stares it was horrible, he felt awful like he was a caged animal being ogled at the zoo.

When they were out in the dungeon corridor he relaxed somewhat. "That wasn't nice"

"It wasn't that bad it could be a lot worse, at least they didn't say anything to you, once you've been seen once you can go to lessons and people will soon forget you're there" Remus smiled as they made their way at a snails pace down the cool corridor.

"I hope you're right" Severus sighed.

They walked along the corridor in silence, Severus shifted closer to Remus closing his eyes as they walked past the classroom, first lesson he would be in there, in that room where it happened. They walked past the toilet and Severus tried to force it from his mind, he did not want to even think about that place right now.

The main entrance hall wasn't particularly busy, there were some groups of students standing around talking excitedly, a few on the stairs and some heading into the great hall. The scent of freshly cooked food wafted through the air, it was surprisingly unwelcoming right now.

As they made their way past, some of the students turned to stare, Severus caught a glimpse of a group of boys muttering amongst themselves their eyes fixated on him with genuine curiousity rather than any hatred. Severus swallowed and dropped his eyes to his shoes once again.

"If you can't see them they're not there" Remus said his voice so low it was almost a whisper, Severus wasn't even sure he had heard him correctly.

They slipped into the slowly growing great hall, students were filing in chatting excitedly. They made their way over to the Slytherin table Severus wasn't sure whether people were actually looking at him or not he kept his eyes focused on his shoes, even as they sat down he turned his body to face Remus beside him his eyes lingering on the table. "Are they looking?" he asked quietly.

Remus was quiet for a few moments glancing uncomfortably around him, Severus was right this wasn't nice at all. "Yes" he said slowly. "But not really in a bad way, they're just looking"

"Okay" Severus breathed closing his eyes in a long slow blink, he barely registered Remus piling some food on both of their plates until Remus practically had to force the food into his hand.

"Come on just have some toast, I know you feel sick but you'll be okay in a bit" he smiled warmly.

Severus looked up into his face, he looked worried but at the same time he looked the way Remus usually looks his happy-go-lucky self and that settled Severus more than anything. He carefully took the toast nibbling on the corner his eyes on Remus' face watching him eat, he was amazed at how Remus could act so casual, a Gryffindor sitting at the Slytherin table, away from his friends with a boy who was supposed to have commited suicide.

By now the great hall was filling rapidly with student's, Severus couldn't mistake the gasps and whispers that rang through the air when people caught sight of him, once or twice he glanced up trying desperately not to meet anyone's eye he didn't want to spark any futher interest or worse-conversation.

"Good to see you, Severus, Remus, how was your Christmas?" Regulus Black's familiar voice broke through the horribly tense air as he sat down in front of them, his bright handsome face grinning at them.

"Oh it was very nice thank you" Severus smiled weakly.

"Yeah it was great, thank you for the gift card you didn't need to" Remus smiled.

"Yes thanks" Severus said quickly.

"It's my pleasure, I really liked those books you got me I sat and read them over Christmas, even my dad asked to borrow them" the pureblood replied happily pouring himself a goblet of juice.

"We thought you might" Severus managed a light chuckle, conversation with friends this was the easy part and it made him look at least somewhat normal.

The other's arrived dropping into seats around them thankfully shielding Severus from the views of curious onlookers.

"Alright?" Mulciber greeted with a yawn.

"So... just out of curiosity..." Regulus began picking at his apple glancing between Severus and Remus. "Have you uhh, hidden the hotdog yet?" he winked.

Remus struggled to stop the spit take and Severus dropped the slice of toast he was holding onto the plate his mouth hanging open.

Remus cleared his throat nervously his cheeks staining pink. "Um, no actually we're still virgins" he said calmly.

"Really? I'm surprised you didn't take the free dormitory opportunity to have sex" Regulus replied his eyebrow's raising into his hairline.

"We... we have done some _stuff _ but not full sex" Severus replied shyly.

"Why not?"

The two boy's glanced at one another.

"The conversation hasn't really come up we love each other and we're just taking things a day at a time really, I guess when the time is right it will happen" Remus said calmly.

"Yes there's no rush" Severus said.

"And we're concentrating on each other and Severus getting better we haven't even thought about it to be honest" Remus added.

"Wow I don't think I've met anyone who's been in a relationship for like just over a month now? And not already started having sex" Regulus said, a murmur of agreement rang out amongst their friends.

"Yeah anyone I've spoken to has been over keen to start shagging they haven't said anything like the things you've said" Mulciber pointed out.

"We don't need sex to be happy, I'm more interested in Severus' personality, his happiness and how much fun we're having rather than shagging all day"

"Same for Remus" Severus added. "I feel safe with him and he's not over bearing or anything we just like having fun together and spending time with each other"

"Why am I finding this so cute?" Evan chuckled.

"Because it actually is rather cute" Regulus laughed.

After breakfast they all got up together, the others boxing themselves around Severus shielding him from onlookers which made him feel a lot more secure. They made their way out into the entrance hall waving off Regulus and Wilkes before making their way down into th dungeons. They didn't stop until they were outside the classroom where the students were gathering waiting for Professor Slughorn to let them in.

Severus shifted closer to Remus' side holding onto his hand very tightly.

"It's fine, see nobody has said anything" Remus murmered.

Severus took a deep breath and closed his eyes in a long slow blink. That was when it caught his eye, they caught his eye and he began to tremble with fear and panic his breath coming out in shaky wisps.

James, Sirius and Peter.

"Re-Remus... I can't, I've got to go" Severus said turning and trying to break free of Remus' grip but the Gryffindor held on tighter.

"Whoa what's wrong?" Remus asked worriedly searching Severus' fear filled face.

"It's them" he whispered almost inaudibly.

Remus' whole body froze tensing and clamming up uncomfortably, the atmosphere in the corridor turned deadly in less than a second. The voices seemed to die down and time slowed. Footsteps approached and stopped several feet away. Without turning around, Remus knew exactly who it was.

Slowly Remus turned around and came face to face with James and Sirius positively glaring from him to Severus and back. Their eyes dropped to where Remus and Severus' hands were interlinked by their sides. A small smirk twitched in the corner of Sirius' mouth and that was more than enough to set him off.

Uncontrollable pure rage tore through Remus, before he knew what was happening or could even stop himself he lunged at his ex friend his hands balling into fists, an ear splitting crack echoed through the air as his fist collided with Sirius' cheek bone, his nails dug into the skin on the side of his neck as he grabbed hold of him.

Severus stood in awe watching as Remus lashing out with an incredible speed, a second later and Sirius was on the floor, Remus hovering over him repeatedly punching him in the face. Nobody had expected something like this from calm, sweet Remus.

"What the fuck!" James' voice called through the air as he grabbed Remus by the throat dragging him up, Remus caught him across the jaw with his open hand. James let out a furious snarl and slammed Remus hard against the wall, a loud crack and Remus fell to the ground clutching the back of his head.

"You gay little shit" Sirius snarled jumping to his feet as he and James advanced on Remus.

Remus could do nothing, his vision was blurring so badly his head spinning and hurting he couldn't hear properly it was like his ears were filled with water, he gasped for air little black dots dancing in front of his eyes as he fought to maintain consciousness.

Panic washed over Severus, ice closed over his heart it felt as though it had stopped beating, Sirius and James' fists were raised ready to finish Remus off.

"No!" someone screeched, it took Severus some time to realise it was his own voice. As though he was floating through the air, Severus literally flew at Sirius blinded by panic and rage, he didn't think-couldn't think, all he wanted to do right now was protect his beautiful Remus.

It took him half a second and before he realised it, Severus had slammed full force into Sirius using all the strength he had in his body.

Sirius yelped with panic as he flew to the ground, Severus stumbled catching his footing as James took a swing for him but missed by an inch.

"Fucking touch them do you!" Avery's voice split through the air, Severus heard his footsteps and whirled around to see Avery punching James so hard the boy fell to the ground in a daze, he rounded on Sirius as Mulciber and Evan hurried over grabbing James restraining him as he tried to lunge for Severus again.

It was all so surreal, Severus' breath caught in his throat, he turned and dropped to his knees resting a hand on Remus' shoulder. The boy was shaking obviously fighting to maintain consciousness.

"Remus..." he breathed.

"What in the world in happening here?" Slughorn bellowed as he came hurrying down the corridor. He stopped and stared at the scene taking in everything that was happening. The crowd standing dumb struck and silent, watching, Avery straddling Sirius holding him to the floor, Mulciber holding James locked against his body and Evan pointing his wand at Pettigrew. Remus now lying on the floor clutching his head a small amount of blood trickling through his floppy blonde hair.

"Oh my goodness" Slughorn said, he unlocked the door quickly thinking fast "Everyone go in" he said gesturing for the rest of the shocked, worried students to go to lesson. They obeyed shuffling inside glancing back at the group of boys.

"Right, Mister Black, Potter and Pettigrew go to my office, NOW you had better still be there when I get back" the older man said sternly glowering at them.

"Yes Professor" they said. The Slytherin's released their hold on them, Sirius scrambled up and hurried along after James an Peter further into the dungeons.

"Mister Avery, Mulciber and Rosier go into class I will speak with you after I've dealt with the others" Slughorn said quickly moving swiftly to Remus' side. Without a word they went into the classroom shooting worried glances to Remus and Severus.

"Remus, can you hear me?" Severus asked.

"Hurts..." Remus whimpered.

"My dear boy you're bleeding, we must get you to the hospital wing immediately, can you stand?" Slughorn asked.

Slowly and very shakily Remus started to get up, Severus quickly helped him to his feet holding him steady a moment before Remus took a few shaky steps almost staggering into the wall, everything seemed to be disappearing around him.

"I think I'm gonna-" Remus groaned as he fell to the ground unconscious.

"Remus!" Severus gasped immediately moving to his side shaking him gently.

"We need to get him to the hospital wing right now" Slughorn said, pulling out his wand he conjured a stretcher and very carefully he and Severus lifted Remus onto it. By now Severus was in tears clutching Remus' hand desperately, willing him to wake up and be alright again.

They hurried up to the hospital wing in silence, Severus' heart was hammering in his chest, this couldn't be happening not on the first day back, Remus... HIS Remus was soo hurt and injured. Severus couldn't help wonder as they burst into the hospital wing, if this was how Remus felt when he tried to commit suicide.

"Madame Pomfrey I'm afraid we've had a bit of an accident" Slughorn called.

Madame Pomfrey was busy tucking the clean bedding around a bed, she looked up and gasped, hurrying over to their side. She guided them in further trying to blot out Severus' sobbing as she carefully moved Remus onto one of the beds furthest away from the door.

"What on Earth happened to him? It appears to be some sort of head injury, blow to the back of the head he's bleeding he may need stitches" she said quickly analysing the situation, moving over to the drawers she quickly withdrew several items making her way swiftly to his side she pulled on the gloves and set to work cleaning the wound.

"We were just standing there" Severus sniffled trying to calm himself down, he was so overcome with emotion. "Then... _they _came along and they just sort of stared at us, it frightened me but I don't know... I don't understand what happened he just sort of flipped and attacked them but it went wrong" Severus swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat.

"How did he get hurt?" Madame Pomfrey asked quickly as he continued to work on the back of Remus' head.

"He was grabbed by James and slammed into the wall, he didn't lose consciousness for a while though he was just sort of kneeling there in pain" Severus said.

"Okay" the nurse said throwing her things into the bin, she moved around and gently pulled off his tie and shoes. She gently lifted his hands holding two fingers to his wrist, then to his neck and nodded. "Pulse is normal, he shouldn't be out long" she said calmly.

"He's going to be okay, isn't he?" Severus asked worriedly sitting into the chair beside the bed still hanging onto Remus' hand.

"I can't say for sure until he's awake but he's doing alright at the moment he's stable" the nurse smiled.

"Okay" Severus breathed as she walked past to continue busying herself with the chores.

"I should be going now, I've left my students unattended" Slughorn said awkwardly gazing down at the young boy lying on the bed, Severus holding onto his hand gently stroking it with his thumb.

"Okay" Severus said quietly.

"Severus you are alright, aren't you?"

Severus gave a small nod. "Yes I'll be okay"

"Alright, do come and see me if there's anything you need on't worry I will sort this mess out and stop by later on to see how Remus is doing" the older man smiled.

"Thank you" Severus sniffed.

Professor Slughorn turned and left the hospital wing leaving Severus to get up and draw the curtains around Remus' bed to give them some privacy, he sank back into the chair clinging onto Remus' hand.

"I love you, Remus" he breathed leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips. "Please get better soon..."


	11. Lily Evan's last words

A feeling as though he was being dragged upwards through deep water, the light on the surface of the Black lake ran through Reus' body, his hearing was slowly becoming sharper, his consciousness was coming back slowly. He wasn't sure what had happening or where he was all he knew was that it hurt.

Remus' eyebrows furrowed and he groaned unwilling to open his eyes.

"Remus?" Severus' soft voice sang through his ears and his heart gave a tiny flutter.

"Severus?" Remus breathed and very slowly he allowed his eyes to open his vision was still very blurred.

"I'm here, Remus, you're okay" Severus said again.

Remus could see Severus' face hovering over him filled with concern, fear and above all else, relief.

"Madame Pomfrey!" Severus called loudly and Remus groaned again, his head hurt badly, his stomach was churning his ears still felt like they had a little water in them he felt so hot and sick and disgusting.

"What's going on?" Remus swallowed closing his eyes again.

"You're in the hospital wing, you've had a nasty blow to the back of the head when you hit the wall you've been unconscious for almost an hour now and you were bleeding, Madame Pomfrey couldn't examine you properly until you were awake" Severus said slowly as he gently began to stroke the back of Remus' hand again.

Just then Madame Pomfrey came bustling in behind the curtain. "Oh goodness you're awake" she said quickly. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... I feel like I'm gonna be-" Remus cut himself short lurching forward and vomiting over the side of the bed, the movement causing sharp pains in his head, he closed his eyes groaning allowing himself to droop over the edge of the bed.

"Symptoms of concussion" Pomfrey noted moving over to the side of the bed, she pulled a plastic bowl from underneath it and with Severus' help they gently propped Remus up against the headboard resting the bowl on his lap. Remus whimpered with protest unable to even open his eyes from the pain.

"I'm sorry..." he said weakly.

"It's okay I'm used to students making a mess in here" the nurse spoke pointing her wand to the hard floor she muttered a Scourgify watching the pink soap bubbles clean up the mess.

"It hurts..."

"Yes it will do, what I'm going to do is ask you a few questions and check you for concussion the nausea is one of them" she winced as Remus leaned forward and was sick in the bowl. Severus rested a hand gently on his back rubbing it soothingly.

"If you can stay like that for a moment I can check your wound, I couldn't look at it properly earlier as you were unconscious and it is not good to continually move a patient with a head injury" she explained moving to his side snapping on her gloves. She carefully pushed back Remus' hair feeling around the swelling and the blood. "I think I'm going to treat you for a hairline fracture" she explained.

"Is that very serious?" Severus asked quickly his worried dark eyes flashing to her.

"It's nothing fatal he's quite literally got a hair sized fracture on his skull I've got a potion I can give him and that will heal it over I am more concerned about his concussion and how serious it is" she said gently pressing Remus back into the bedding, the boy swallowed and kept his eyes closed.

"No bleeding from the nose or anywhere else, there is nausea and vomiting, Remus do you know where you are and who we are?" she asked clearly.

"Hospital wing with Severus and Madame Pomfrey, I have a fracture" he said.

"Very good, do you know how it happened?" she asked.

Remus frowned trying to concentrate. "It's too difficult" he whined. "Dungeon corridor, hit my head on the wall, didn't want Severus getting hurt"

"What about your vision is it double or blurred? Can you see properly? What about your hearing?" she asked again.

"Blurry, my eyes hurt, my head hurts and my ears feel like there's water in them"

"Okay" she nodded. "He's a little confused and disorientated but that's quite normal, he's responsive which is good, the fact there is no bleeding means there is no internal damage but he is concussed" she said to Severus.

"That's sort of a relief" he breathed.

"Remus I'm going to give you some painkillers and some potion once you stop being sick, I can't give you anything if you're vomiting as obviously you won't keep the potion down" she said calmly.

"Okay"

"Severus when he's stopped being sick, call me and I will give him some things and we'll see if we can get him to sleep for a bit" she said.

"Of course but he will be okay won't he?"

"I think he's going to be fine he just needs a lot of rest and care, head injuries can be serious but once he's stopped being sick I can treat him"

"Thank you" Severus nodded, he watched as she disappeared again before turning his attention back on Remus.

"Gonna be sick" he said again leaning forward and coughing up into the bowl.

"Get it all up" Severus smiled gently rubbing his back again.

Down in the Dungeons...

"The three of you know exactly why you're here" Professor Slughorn began sitting down at his desk his eyes wandering over the three nervous Gryffindor's.

"But we didn't-"

Slughorn held up his hand to silence them.

"I am a very reasonable person Mister Black, however I do not tolerate such terrible behaviour, I want the full story from you I don't want it fabricated and I don't want your excuses"

Sirius sighed impatiently. "We were on our way to lesson and we stopped a little way away from Snape and Lupin" he began pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. "They were sort of standing there holding hands, all I did was smirk at them and Remus went crazy he attacked me"

"It's true Professor he looked psychotic then we had a fight and Snape pushed Sirius aggressively to the ground because he knew he would get away with it" James said quickly.

"I wasn't involved I didn't touch anyone" Peter said.

"If nothing happened and you were attacked so violently, how did it end up that a student is unconscious in the hospital wing with a head injury and Mister Avery, Mulciber and Rosier were involved?"

"They ganged up on us and jumped in, they were so blatantly planning to attack us out of revenge for what they think we did anyway we're innocent in all of this!"

"If they have attacked you then there was no need for such violence, you could have seriously hurt Mister Lupin I don't even know if he's going to be alright there could be serious damage done to him after that it was reckless and irresponsible" Slughorn said sternly his eyes flicking between them.

"What I'm going to do is send you up to Professor McGonagall, seeing as you're already in trouble she will be the one to decide upon your punishments, I will also be speaking to the others and getting the story from Mister Lupin and Mister Snape later on, go now and if I find that you've been dilly dallying or you haven't turned up you will be in very serious trouble, boys"

"Yes sir" they said.

Slughorn watched as they turned and left the room shutting the door behind them. He got up and followed out going into the classroom he dismissed the rest of the class and asked to speak with Avery, Mulciber and Evan.

The three boys followed him into his office all perfectly calm and stood waiting for the verdict.

"How's Remus?" Avery asked after a moments silence.

"When I left about an hour ago he was still unconscious, I've spoken with Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore" Slughorn replied. "Can you tell me exactly what happened this morning?"

They exchanged awkward glances.

"Well I don't really know" Evan began.

"It's hard to explain" Avery sighed.

"It was so weird" Mulciber said.

"Yeah, Black, Potter and Pettigrew came along there was something weird about them, I could see Severus worried he looked _frightened _ and I think that was what set Remus off" Evan said.

"Yeah Potter and Black in particular looked like they were going to do something it was really tense and something wasn't quite right, Black sort of... smirked or something, Remus took one look at him and went for him I think he thought he was going to hurt Severus again" Avery explained.

"Yeah Remus seemed absolutely fine before they came along" Mulciber pointed. "I think he gets extremely protective of Severus because he's scared of losing him and after what happened can you really blame him?"

Slughorn sighed weighing out his options for a few moments. "I don't think I'll be punishing Remus for this I understand why he was acting out he thought Severus was going to get hurt again and I've seen them over the Christmas holidays and they were just so close and the way they looked at each other was so private and intense"

"Yeah they're all loved up" Avery smiled.

"It's very good they feel this way because it's obviously helping Severus a lot and I think Remus would do anything for him"

"He would" Evan butted in.

"Yes, but anyway I have some things to sort out you're free to go now" Slughorn said calmly.

"Thanks, Professor" Avery nodded as the three of them hurried out, they made their way quickly along the dungeon corridor.

"Let's go and see how they are" Mulciber suggested as they rounded up the stairs.

Back up in the hospital wing...

Remus heaved again vomiting into the plastic basin, thankfully it was starting to ease off a little only the meagre remains of his stomach contents were coming back up. He groaned drooping forwards closing his eyes.

"Do you want to sit back up?" Severus asked calmly gently massaging Remus' back with one hand.

Remus shook his head, leaned forward further and vomited a final time into the bowl.

Severus allowed Remus to stay hunched shaking over the bowl for a few minutes before he carefully guided him back so he was sitting against the headboard a pillow behind his back supporting him, he closed his eyes and swallowed a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Do you think you're going to be sick again?"

Remus shook his head weakly and winced at the pain. "Okay I'll take the bowl away so you can't smell it and you can get comfier" Severus said carefully lifting the bowl and moving it over the other side of the curtained cubicle.

"Sev, you're okay aren't you? They didn't hurt you did they?" Remus asked worriedly his eyes still closed.

"I'm fine they didn't touch me, please don't worry about me worry about yourself" Severus said his dark eyebrows furrowing with concern.

"I'm always worried about you, I'll do anything for you, anything to protect you and keep you safe"

"I'm absolutely fine, please don't worry just concentrate on getting better so we can have some fun again" Severus smiled as Remus' eyes cracked open to gaze at him, a small smile curled in the corners of his mouth.

"Severus, Remus, you have some visitors" Madame Pomfrey said poking her head through the curtain.

"Okay send them in" Remus said hoarsely.

Moments later, Evan, Avery and Mulciber appeared moving behind the curtain they walked closer to Remus' bedside.

"Sorry to hear you got hurt" Mulciber said quietly.

"I'm fine"

"No Remus you aren't" Severus sighed turning to his dorm mates. "He's got a hairline fracture on his skull, he's only just stopped being sick, he was unconscious for almost an hour and he has concussion"

"Oh mate that's rough" Evan winced.

"Remus if you've stopped being sick now I can give you some potion to treat that fracture" Madame Pomfrey said reappearing with a small tray of items in her hands, a bottle of deep purple potion and an empty goblet.

"Only just" Remus said quietly opening his eyes enough to see the nurse approach his bedside, he rested her hand on his forehead for a moment and nodded.

"Your temperature is normal which is very good" she said opening the bottle and pouring a half goblet full out, picking it up she handed it to Remus and moved round to his other side.

Severus reached out gently helping Remus in the same way Remus had helped him over a month ago. He watched as Remus took a few sips of the liquid before deciding to gulp it thirstily.

"Severus do you want to help Remus get more comfortable?" Madame Pomfrey said exchanging glances with the Slytherin.

"Of course" he said, carefully he pushed Remus' cloak over his shoulders sliding it out from underneath him he carefully helped a sore Remus out of his school jumper and began to unbutton the front of his school shirt. The others looked away not wanting to stare at him half naked as Severus folded the shirt onto the end of the bed and helped Remus out of his trousers so he was just in his underwear lounging on the bed.

Severus carefully pulled the covers up over Remus building the pillows behind his head so he was half sitting, half lying down.

"I don't think I will put stitches in for you however if after you've been resting a while and the wound opens or bleeds any more then I will, the air getting to it will help it to scab over and heal stopping infection" Madame Pomfrey explained reaching onto the tray and pulling on new gloves.

"Do you want some painkillers?" she asked turning her eyes on Remus' face.

"Definitely" he breathed.

"Just like I did with Severus, I'm going to clean the area around the wound" she said lifting the covers back enough to expose Remus' arm, she carefully dabbed the area clean and pierced the little pot with a sterile needle draining the fluid, she checked for air before lining it up against his skin. "Take a nice deep breath in for me" she said. Remus breathed in slowly and whimpered as the needle went into his skin he tensed up as she injected into him and groaned when she pulled it back out sticking a small round plaster over the area.

"And before anyone asks, no there is no sedative in that but it might make you feel sleepy"

"That's okay" Remus mumbled.

The nurse turned round and walked out behind the curtain again saying something about leaving them alone for some privacy but Severus wasn't really paying attention.

"How do you feel?" he asked after she had gone.

Remus took a moment to respond blinking slowly and smiling weakly at Severus. "Better, high"

Severus chuckled slightly. "It's just the painkillers doing that you'll be fine soon"

"Is this what you felt like when she gave them to you?"

Severus laughed again. "Somewhat, mine had sedative in so I was practically asleep as well, what do you feel like?"

"Like I'm dreaming or floating away" Remus slurred slightly gazing around him his eyes falling on the others for a moment before going back to Severus.

"It feels good"

"No pain then?" Avery laughed.

"Very little it's slowly fading away" Remus mumbled.

"That's good is there anything you want? There's some juice here Madame Pomfrey brought while you were unconscious" Severus said pointing to the jug of iced pumpkin juice.

"Yes please" Remus' eyes sparkled.

Severus quickly poured a goblet of the potion and helped Remus to hold it as he drank the lot in one go without pause, he made himself comfortable back against the pillows and closed his eyes in a long slow blink.

"Getting sleepy?" Severus asked quietly.

"Yeah" Remus breathed.

"Get some rest I'll still be here when you wake up I promise" Severus smiled warmly reaching out and gently stroking Remus' soft blonde locks.

Remus gave a soft, heart-warming smile. "I love you, Sev"

"I love you too, Remus" Severus said pressing his lips softly to Remus, by the time he pulled back Remus was sleeping soundly.

"You really care about him don't you?" Evan said quietly. Severus jumped a little he had completely forgotten the others were actually there with them.

"Yes of course I do, Remus is incredibly special to me I don't know where I'd be without him- actually yes I do, I'd be dead without him" Severus said seriously. "He's sweet and patient and he's so kind he's got no aggression in him at all"

"What do you think about what happened this morning then?" Avery asked his eyes fixed on Remus' sleeping face.

"I think that he was just trying to protect me as I'd do the same for him" Severus breathed gently stroking the back of his lovers hand again.

"Slughorn says he won't punish either of you by the way" Avery pointed.

Severus looked at him and smiled graciously. "That's good I don't want Remus having any more stress until he's well again, he was being quite violently sick before you arrived"

"Lovely"

The three other boys stayed until it was time for their next lesson, they said their goodbye's to Severus and wished well to a sleeping Remus saying they would be back later on in the day.

"I can't fucking believe we got suspended from lessons and we have to do Filch's dirty work!" Sirius hissed kicking a table leg in the common room. "We aren't allowed into Hogsmeade still, we aren't allowed out of the common room except lessons and now instead of lessons we've got two weeks of working for Filch when we didn't even do anything!"

"I know it's completely unfair! Stupid Remus, it's all his fucking fault if he wants a fucking fight he knows we won't back down even if we're still his friends" James replied flopping down angrily on the sofa.

"He obviously doesn't see us as friends..." Peter sighed.

"He's supposed to be a Marauder, a Gryffindor, top of the school with us and now look at him, hanging around with a bunch of vile Slytherin death eater scum" James growled.

"Maybe people are right when they say Werewolves can't be trusted" Sirius growled. The common room was empty apart from them.

"Sirius you're just angry, Moony is Moony and he's just standing up for that thing, it's only a fling they'll get over it" James said.

"I fucking hate Snape so much now, taking Moony away from m-us, I wish he'd died in hospital when he had the chance" Sirius spat nastily.

"Here, here!" Peter chirped.

A few hours passed and Remus was slowly starting to come round again, Severus kept talking to him soothingly until he woke from his dreamy state to gaze up at his boyfriend.

"How are you feeling, are you okay? Is there anything I can get you?" Severus asked quickly.

"Severus" Remus breathed. "Head hurts a little"

The pain in Remus' eyes had Severus sinking to his knees on the floor before he could even fight for some physical strength, tears welled up in his eyes, he clenched his teeth forcing back the sobs. "Remus I'm so sorry this has happened to you it's all my fault I feel awful" he whimpered.

"It's not your fault, I was protecting you" Remus spoke watching Severus on the floor. "Please get up you've done nothing wrong"

"Yes I have I put you in here, I'm the one who's done this if it wasn't for me none of this would have happened"

"Stop being silly"

"I'm not! Remus I love you so much to see you like this breaks my heart _please _do something to me, hurt me, hit me, shout at me, make me do anything you want just forgive me" Severus whimpered.

"Severus I am _not _going to hurt you" Remus said quickly.

"I want you to, I want you to do something to me I need you to give me what I deserve" Severus sniffed.

Remus thought for a moment. "Stand up"

Severus was on his feet immediately, he looked worried.

"Come here" Remus said, without hesitating Severus moved closer and yelped as Remus' hand clamped down on the back of his neck. Remus was crushing their lips together in less than a second it was so passionate yet so tender and so completely loving, Severus melted completely into it.

They drew back minutes later but it felt like hours, both panting gazing into each others eyes.

"There" said Remus. "I gave you what you deserve"

"I deserve to be punched for letting you get hurt"

"No I believe you actually pushed Sirius out of the way effectively saving me" Remus pointed out. Severus' mouth tightened as he looked down into his boyfriend's face.

"Please don't leave me..." Severus breathed, he wanted to throw his arms around Remus' neck and kiss him all over he wanted to hold onto him so tightly but he was afraid of hurting him.

"Sev I've promised you I'll never leave you and that's in effect, if you're no longer happy with me then leave me but I'll never leave you I swear to that gorgeous, I love you so fucking much and the fact I'm hurt now proves that and it also proves that I'd do anything for you"

"I'm indescribably happy, Remus, more than you'll ever know I won't leave you I can't live without you" Severus replied seriously.

"That's settled then, just please stop blaming yourself this is not your fault I attacked them not the other way round"

"Then at least let me take care of you" Severus said.

"If it makes you happy then okay I wouldn't mind having a nurse like you attending to all my achy bits" Remus winked playfully.

Severus blushed furiously and looked away. "You're in the hospital unwell and in pain but you still manage to flirt with me"

A grin spread across Remus' face. "Because I love you and the thought of you nursing me gives me thrills"

"How can you be so happy when you're obviously in a lot of discomfort?" Severus asked gently stroking Remus' face.

"Because I've got you here with me that's all I need" Remus smiled.

They sat gazing lovingly at each other for a few moments before Remus shifted under the covers. "I need to go to the toilet"

"Okay" Severus nodded lifting his warm covers back watching Remus sit up hissing in pain he slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rested there a moment.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked worriedly.

"Yeah just feel dizzy and lightheaded" Remus breathed.

"Do you want some help to stand?"

Remus chuckled. "Hey nurse can you come to the toilet with me?" he smirked playfully at Severus.

"Of course" the Slytherin grinned slipping his arm around Remus' lower back shifting him and helping him off the bed supporting his weight. "Feeling alright?"

"I'm fine just sore" Remus said calmly. He allowed Severus to walk him through the curtain, across the room and into the toilet.

"I'll wait here" Severus smiled as Remus made his way into the toilet himself holding onto things carefully. About two minutes later and he came back out smiling, Severus immediately held onto Remus tightly guiding him back over and into bed tucking him back under and kissing him on the forehead. "Better?" he asked with a smile.

"Much" Remus chuckled. "I'm still in pain though and I feel pretty tired"

"Go back to sleep if you want or I can get Madame Pomfrey to check on you" Severus said jumping to his feet he hurried over to the curtain and called loudly for the nurse, moments later and she appeared with a smile.

"Is everything alright?"

"Remus is tired and the pain is coming back" Severus said quickly. The nurse nodded and moved over to his side he rolled onto his side facing Severus wincing as she began to carefully examine the back of his head.

"Well you're going to need a few more doses of potion before that fracture is healed and the wound isn't infected, I want you to have some dinner and then I'll give you more painkillers"

"I'm not hungry..." Remus groaned.

"You have to eat otherwise you won't get better, you're going to have to stay here at least until tomorrow night if not for a few more days I don't think you realise that head injuries are serious" Madame Pomfrey said seriously.

"I'm going to get you both something to eat and then I'll do your painkillers" she said quickly.

"Madame Pomfrey if Remus is staying here tonight then I have to stay too, I can't be without him" Severus said firmly.

"As you wish, I can push another bed against his or you can share if that's comfortable or use the chair you're welcome to all facilities" she smiled.

"Thank you" Severus nodded.

"I'll be back in a few minutes" she said before disappearing again.

When she returned she carried two dinner plates full of food handing one to Severus and placing one on Remus' knee, she disappeared and came back with a refilled large jug of iced pumpkin juice and two clean goblets.

"Call me when you're ready for some painkillers" she said leaving them in peace to eat.

Severus was surprisingly hungry having missed lunch and had nothing to eat all day, it was now evening and he was grateful for something to eat.

"Were you hungry?" Remus asked sipping carefully at his juice.

"Very, didn't realise how much so"

"Why didn't you go and eat something earlier?" Remus frowned worriedly.

"I didn't want to leave your side, I was so frightened and you were sleeping I wasn't about to just get up and saunter off for something" Severus smiled.

"You should have"

"But I love you too much"

"And I love you too" Remus grinned.

They finished their dinner in peace and Severus put their plates on the bedside table stretching himself upwards.

"Oh good you've finished you have some visitors" the nurse said poking her head through the curtain, Avery, Mulciber, Evan, Regulus and Professor Slughorn appeared smiles on their faces.

"Hey how are you feeling?" Regulus asked. "I heard what happened my brother can be such a dick"

"But it was-"

"I know, I know but Sirius is still a dick" Regulus laughed. "But seriously, how are you feeling?"

"Getting sore again but better than I was" Remus smiled.

"Are you two staying here tonight?" Avery asked quickly.

"Yeah Remus is in no condition to be up and about he needs to rest" Severus nodded. "And I refuse to leave him"

"If you want we could go and get you some of your stuff?" Avery offered.

"That would be really kind of you" Severus smiled.

"Anything in particular you want or just overnight stuff?"

"Uhh better bring a few bits of clothes and that we could well be here more than one night" Severus nodded. "Thanks a lot" he added with a smile.

"No problem, I'll go get them now" Avery shot them a grin before heading back through the curtain.

"So come on, you may as well tell me what people have been saying?" Remus said quietly.

They all exchanged glances for a moment before Evan began speaking.

"They've been saying that you're a little crazy, those Gryffindor's have been punished but they're playing it off like it's all your fault and that you're disturbed in the mind just like..." his eyes wandered to Severus for a moment before flipping back to Remus.

Remus' jaw clenched. "I am not disturbed or psychotic and neither is Severus" he said firmly.

"We know that but you know what everyone is like, rumours and shit all get taken way too seriously" Mulciber sighed.

"Yeah we even tried to hunt down Potter, Black and Pettigrew for you but they ran off to their common room before we could do anything" Evan said.

"Figures" Severus rolled his eyes. "I absolutely despise them, I hate them so much for everything they've done I'll never be able to forgive them, never" he said shaking his head.

"Nobody expects you to, we completely understand" Regulus said gently.

"Yeah with everything you've been through you're doing amazingly well" Evan smiled.

"Thanks" Severus said awkwardly, he still wasn't very comfortable with thinking about what happened let alone talking about it with people other than Remus.

"Fuck I'm in so much pain right now..." Remus groaned resting a hand on his forehead and closing his eyes, his eyebrows creased his face washed with pain.

"In normal circumstances I would tell a student to mind their language" Professor Slughorn chuckled quietly. Severus had almost forgot he was even there.

"But he's in a lot of pain Professor" Regulus pointed.

The curtain moved and Avery reappeared with a large bag full of stuff, he carefully rested it on the bottom of the bed grinning at them. "Here's your things"

"Thanks a lot" Remus smiled weakly despite the pain in his skull.

"It' alright don't mention it" Avery waved. "By the way Madame Pomfrey is going to-"

"Ahh, Remus I expect you'll be needing some more painkillers, once you're ready for them put your night clothes on and we'll sort the beds out and you can have them there's no point having them now and being uncomfortable or having us banging around whilst you're trying to sleep" Pomfrey explained observing the situation. "I'll bring one of the other beds through now, Severus if you could just move that chair for me-" she said pointing to the one by Severs' leg.

"Do you need a hand, Poppy?" Slughorn asked watching the woman make her way back out of the curtain.

"No it's alright, Professor, it's only moving a bed" she replied. There was a scraping sound before she pushed one of the clean, freshly made beds through the curtain. Severus moved out of the way as she pushed it up against Remus' and flicked her wand underneath joining the clasps together so they didn't slip down the middle.

"There, plenty of room for you to stay too" she said glancing at Severus.

"Thank you" Severus said moving over to the bags and pulling things out, he found of one Remus' clean white night shirts and pulled it out. "This one okay?" he asked holding it up to Remus.

"Of course" Remus replied.

"We should probably get going now it's getting late, we have lessons and you obviously need some rest..." Mulciber said quickly looking to the other's acknowledging their agreement.

"You don't need to go yet, it's okay if you want to stay" Remus replied.

"It's alright it's best if you get some rest" Evan nodded.

"Yeah we promise to come see you tomorrow" Regulus grinned and they all said their agreements.

"I hope you're feeling better soon, Remus, and you Severus" Slughorn replied making his way towards the edge of the curtain with the other's in tow.

"Yeah what you did took some balls of steel, pushing my brother over" Regulus replied.

"Definitely, you rock, Snape" Avery smiled.

Severus couldn't help but smile and blush awkwardly at their compliments, nobody apart from Remus had ever done that before. "Thanks"

They watched the other's leave listening for their footsteps to disappear along with the door closing before Severus picked up the night shirt again.

"I think I can dress you like this, you don't mind do you?" Severus said lifting back the covers.

"I really don't think I'm well enough to stand properly or for long enough to dress myself, it's fine, Sev, I trust you, you've seen me in the nude before" Remus said playfully.

"And you look lovely" Severus' cheeks reddened.

"Thanks, Sev" Remus chuckled.

It didn't take long to slip Remus into his night shirt, the boy soon relaxed back under the covers leaving one arm out for Madame Pomfrey. Severus quickly changed into his cosy pyjamas slipping under the covers beside Remus he gave him a goblet of juice which Remus drank from gratefully before they snuggled down together.

The curtain shifted and Madame Pomfrey appeared carrying a little tray of things.

"Here we are then, Remus, are you ready for your painkillers?" she asked.

"Yes please" the boy grumbled.

Remus listened to the rustling noises and felt the fabric slide back up his arm before Madame Pomfrey began cleaning the area of skin clean on his arm. "Nice deep breath for me" she said.

Remus did as he was told emitting a small squealing noise as the needle sank into his skin, moments later and it slid out and a plaster was put in its place.

"There you have it, wasn't so hard was it?" Pomfrey chuckled.

"I hate needles" Remus groaned snuggling down under the covers feeling the drugs slowly starting to take effect.

"Not many more of them it won't be long until you're healed" Madame Pomfrey said carefully examining the back of Remus' head. "The fracture is closing over nicely but obviously not completely, there is still a wound and you are still a little bit concussed you need plenty of bed rest for a couple of days"

"Okay"

"If you need anything during the night come to the back room I'll be going to my quarters now" Pomfrey nodded.

"Alright, thank you Madame Pomfrey" Remus slurred a little blinking slowly.

"You too, Severus" she nodded.

"Thanks"

"Goodnight" she said before disappearing through the curtain, her footsteps crossed into the back room the sound of the door opening and closing rang through the stilled air.

"Are you okay, Remus?" Severus asked quietly.

Remus let out a soft yawn curling himself up. "I'm fine the pain is going I just want to cuddle and sleep"

"You'll feel so much better in the morning" Severus smiled leaning in and ever so gently pressing his lips to Remus'.

"I hope so, sorry for ruining your first day back I was such an idiot..."

"No, no you weren't you were brave and you managed to get me out of the public eye a little longer, not that I'm happy about you getting hurt" Severus replied.

"I might be living with Slytherin's but I have to keep up with my Gryffindor standards" Remus grinned playfully kissing Severus again.

"A lion amongst the snakes" Severus chuckled.

"Very true" Remus grinned. "Grrr"

"Remus you're crazy" Severus laughed cuddling up against his lover.

"Madame Pomfrey has just loaded me the fuck up on pain killers, what do you expect?" Remus giggled.

"Mm I wonder what else you're loaded up on" Severus whispered sinking his teeth into his bottom lip suggestively.

"Now stop that or I'll cum in my boxers and I don't want to explain to Pomfrey why there's spunk all over the sheets" Remus grinned playfully.

"Ooft well I wouldn't mind" Severus winked. "Once you're all better I am going to wrap my lips around your cock and suck you dry"

Remus moaned softly. "I look forward to that"

The two boys snuggled down under the covers, it wasn't long before Remus was fast asleep and Severus lay there watching him for a little while gently stroking the side of his pretty face until he finally allowed sleep to overcome him. Dreams of a golden haired Gryffindor dancing through his head.

The next morning Remus surprisingly enough woke up first, he smiled to himself and yawned rubbing his tired eyes before turning his attention on Severus whom was sleeping peacefully on his pace with his face completely tilted to Remus, his left hand lying against the pillow between their close faces. Remus smiled again watching Severus give a tiny sigh a smile twitching in the corners of his lips. He looked absolutely gorgeous, so perfect and innocent when he was sleeping.

"Sev is a sexy bum" Remus chanted in a quiet musical tone. He smirked to himself and said it again. "Sev is a sexy bum"

Severus' eyebrows twitched and his dark eyes fluttered open to gaze sleepily at Remus who looked like he was about to start laughing.

"Good morning beautiful, did you sleep well?" Remus grinned ignoring the dull throb in the back of his head.

"Great thanks you? I should be the one asking you first" Severus pouted slightly.

"Wow you're looking lovely today I'm jealous" Remus pouted slightly making Severus laugh.

"I can assure you that you're far better looking than I am"

"Nu uh"

"Yu huh" Remus grinned.

A while later and Madame Pomfrey came in with their breakfast, she gave Remus another dose of painkillers and some potion to help with his head before leaving them in peace for a while.

"I think my concussion is gone" Remus said brightly to the nurse by lunch time, he was right he did seem perfectly with it and very bright this afternoon.

"You don't appear to have any symptoms of it but you're still in pain and you aren't really capable of getting up I think another few days in here and you'll be ready to go out, maybe on Thursday evening or Friday morning" Pomfrey nodded to him with a cheerful smile on her face. Remus was such a positive, kind, happy student considering he had Lycanthropy.

The rest of the day went by nicely, Severus sat reading to Remus through one of the books Avery had shoved in his bag. Remus lay there gazing lovingly at Severus stroking his hair and pulling him in for kisses every five minutes.

By the time dinner rolled around both of them were feeling happy and relaxed again wrapped in each other's arms propped up against the pillows.

"Get on top of me and kiss the hell out of me" Remus breathed gently stroking his fingers through Severus' hair.

Severus carefully rolled on top of Remus lying between his legs he brought their lips together in such a soft, tender kiss so filled with passion it spoke a thousand words a second. Their tongues became entranced in a perfect rhythm, Remus emitted a soft moan of pleasure it was such an intense but gentle kiss, it said everything Severus felt and more. Remus knew he was perfectly well loved and in turn radiated that love back onto Severus through his lips.

Neither of them even noticed the curtain open and their friends and Professor Slughorn slip through. Remus moaned softly again as Severus continued to kiss him.

When Avery cleared his throat it made both of the boys jump.

"Oh shit" Severus whispered.

"Not interrupting anything are we?" Evan teased wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"No we were just umm..." Remus tried, blushing furiously he looked to an equally as red faced Severus.

"You two might still be virgins but that doesn't mean you can't keep your hands off of each other for a minute can you?" Avery teased making them blush even further.

"We were only kissing" Remus chuckled his eyes flickering to Regulus who had a very odd expression on his face.

"Yeah no harm in that" Severus added quickly as he slipped off of Remus and cuddled up beside him instead.

"Quite right, so how are you feeling this evening Remus?" Professor Slughorn asked with a smile.

"Much better, my concussion is gone I'm still on painkillers though and my head hurts, I'm not well enough to get out of bed by myself yet" the werewolf replied.

"You will be soon though if you're already feeling better that is great news" the older man replied.

"Yeah so we brought you some more stuff" Evan grinned placing another bag on the end of the bed. "You know just some clean bits and some stuff to do while you're in here" he shrugged casually.

"Thank you" Severus smiled.

"Any idea when you're getting out?" Mulciber asked quickly looking from one to the other and back again.

"Most probably Thursday evening or Friday morning" Remus replied.

"Damn that's ages away" Evan said.

"Not really to be honest it's already Tuesday evening" Severus mused.

"Ahh time flies when you're having fun" Regulus chuckled.

"In their case lots of fun..." Avery commented.

"I've been keeping Severus busy" Remus smiled to his boyfriend.

"Yeah I'll bet you have" Evan chuckled.

"Not like that, pervert" Severus laughed.

"Oh to be a teenager again, all those raging hormones" Slughorn mused.

"And raging hard on's..." Avery muttered.

"Do you have to be so... graphic?" Remus smirked.

"Yes" Avery shot him a grin.

They talked for about two and a half hours until it was time for bed, the others said their goodbye's and wished Remus well before they made their way down into the dungeons with Professor Slughorn.

Severus helped Remus into a clean night shirt, to the toilet and to brush his teeth before they got back into bed and Madame Pomfrey injected Remus with some fresh pain killers and inspected his skull.

The next day flew by and before they knew it, it was Thursday evening.

Remus was much better, he could get out of bed unsupported and walk to the bathroom and back or stretch himself and get dressed. His head still hurt but he didn't need any more pain killers, Madame Pomfrey would give him his last dose tonight after a bath.

Severus plugged the bathtub and filled it quickly with warm soapy water, he turned to watch Remus undress himself quickly standing stark naked before him.

"Wow..." Severus breathed taking him Remus' gorgeous frame.

Remus shot him a lopsided grin before carefully climbing into the bath and sitting himself down in the warm soothing water. The bath wasn't as good as the one in the dormitory but it was still decent.

"It's nice and warm" Remus grinned.

"Good, we'll be out of here in the morning so we'll be able to take baths together again" Severus said happily.

"Mm I can't wait, you all wet and soapy sounds amazing to me" Remus grinned cheekily making Severus blush slightly.

After the bath where Severus seemed to have enormous difficulty keeping his hands off of Remus' certain areas, they went back to bed. Remus snuggled himself down grinning at Severus as Madame Pomfrey hoisted up his sleeve and sank the needle into his skin. Moments later she pulled it out and left them to lie there staring at each other as the lights deemed enough for them to sleep.

"I think we should really go to lessons tomorrow you know" Remus slurred a little gazing at Severus.

Severus tensed up and swallowed nervously. "I was hoping that wouldn't come"

"It has to, better sooner rather than later and at least it will be on a Friday" Remus said quietly.

"I guess so..."

"I'll be by your side you'll be fine" Remus smiled warmly.

"I should be saying that to you after what happened a few days ago"

Remus let out a soft chuckle.

"I'll tell you what, we can look after each other" Remus grinned excitedly.

"I like that idea" Severus laughed curling up against Remus breathing in his warm soft scent. "I love you so much" he breathed closing his eyes.

"I love you too, Severus, more than anything thank you for being here with me"

"My pleasure" Severus smiled.

It wasn't long before they were both sound asleep snuggled in each other's arms.

The morning came faster than either one of them could have possibly expected, they were up, dressed, washed and had eaten their breakfast perfectly on time.

"Are you ready?" Remus asked nervously as they collected up their bags ready to go.

"Yes I'm ready" Severus nodded, he was shaking ever so slightly something that Remus couldn't ignore when he gently draped his arm around Severus' lower back, the boy carefully returned the gesture breathing deeply, at least with Remus he felt safe now he didn't want Remus to get hurt again.

"Are you off now then boys?" Madame Pomfrey asked brightly.

"Yeah we'd better get going and take our things back to Slytherin before first lesson, we don't want to be late" Remus nodded.

"And you're feeling alright, both of you?" she asked looking quickly from one to the other. They both nodded. "Very well then come back any time you're always welcome here"

"Thanks again, Madame Pomfrey" Severus smiled.

"No trouble" she replied watching as they turned and left the hospital wing.

Out in the corridor Severus became very nervous once again, he cuddled right up close to Remus.

They made their way quickly out onto the staircases, there were quite a few students about most of them turning to stare at Severus and Remus as they passed trying not to catch anyone's eye they didn't want the attention, they didn't want confrontation and they didn't want people to take it as an invite to talk to them.

"Come on gorgeous" Remus smiled down to Severus as they headed down the last flight of stairs into the entrance hall, people were turning their heads to stare at them and whisper to one another now about the two boys as they quickly made their way down into the dungeon corridor. They hurried along their arms still round one another and made their way through the common room ignoring the few people sitting by the fire talking who stopped to stare as they passed by up to the dormitory.

They made their way along and into the boys dormitory, the others were all there talking, they looked up rather excitedly when Severus and Remus came back in.

"Hey you're back, how you feeling?" Mulciber greeted.

"Much better thank you" Remus smiled as they rested their bags down on top of their trunks.

"Aww well we're just heading down to breakfast, you coming with?" Mulciber asked again.

"We've already eaten but thanks" Severus nodded.

"Cool so we'll see you in lesson then?" Avery said as they made their way to the door.

"Yep, see you" Remus said watching them leave before turning to Severus and pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

When they drew apart some minutes later, Remus gently kissed Severus on the cheek and grinned. "Are you forgetting something?"

Severus frowned slightly in confusion.

"Tomorrow's your birthday" Remus beamed his eyes twinkling with delight.

Severus blushed furiously and shook his head. "No I don't want a fuss about it"

"Oh come on aren't you excited?" Remus' eyebrows rose expectantly.

"I've never been excited about a birthday" Severus said bluntly.

Remus stared at him a moment before grabbing hold of him, swiftly spinning him around, dipping him and kissing him on the lips. "Well be prepared to have the best birthday you could wish for, it's your special day and I'm going to make you feel amazing" Remus grinned.

Severus couldn't control the pink that scattered across his face or the smile that followed.

"I'll look forward to it then" he nodded.

By the time first lesson came around they were feeling nervous again, they made their way through the empty common room and headed out into the dungeon corridor where they saw Professor Slughorn about to let some of the students in. They hurried along trying to ignore the fact their classmates were staring at them as they approached hand in hand.

Severus' breath caught in his throat and his heart accelerated when he caught sight of the three remaining Marauders just staring blankly at him and Remus.

"Come here" Remus said turning his attention away from them and pulling Severus into his arms for a cuddle as Slughorn unlocked the door and the class bean filing in.

They pulled apart slowly, smiling at Slughorn they made their way nervously into the classroom.

"Can I sit with you?" Remus asked quickly and quietly.

"Of course you can, nobody ever sat with me before" Severus smiled leading Remus over to his desk. They sat down quickly and began pulling their books out just looking for something to occupy themselves with.

"Right then everybody today we're going to be doing some essay work, so you'll all need page two hundred and sixty nine of your text books and some parchment I want you to use references from the book but not copy it word for word" Slughorn shot a glance in Pettigrew's direction.

"Any questions?" he asked his eyes scanning the room. "No? well begin" he said clapping his hands together.

The class broke out into its usual murmurs, Severus and Remus set to work quickly they were both aware of the eyes on them every few minutes, they knew people would stare but there wasn't anything they could do about it.

"Are you feeling alright, Sev?" Remus asked quietly as the lesson got under weigh.

"I'm still nervous" Severus breathed. "But I'm okay it actually feels sort of... nice... to be back in lessons and be treated like somewhat of a normal person again"

"That's very good, it's the weekend tomorrow so we can settle in nicely before Monday's lessons don't worry, we can get around the castle a bit and have some fun" Remus flashing him a bright toothy grin.

"Sounds good to me" Severus smiled warmly.

As the lesson went on, Severus became more and more relaxed. By the time it was the end and they packed up their things, they hung back a minute so other people (Marauders in particular) could be out and gone before they went out, they did not fancy any confrontations with them today. They had been staring at the two boys during lesson but Remus had a sneaking suspicion that Professor McGonagall would come down on them if they even so much as spoke to them and this made him feel very relaxed.

Their next lesson was Transfiguration which they knew they would be a safe house with McGonagall there.

They were outside the classroom waiting for her to arrive, people seemed slightly more at ease about their presence than before when a soft feminine voice spoke up.

"Snape?"

Severus turned around coming face to face with Lily Evans. He stared into that rounded little face he for so many years cherished and loved, but now the feelings inside of him were gone, he felt nothing when he looked into those startling green eyes.

"Yes?"

"I-I just wanted to say that although we aren't friends anymore, that I'm sorry to hear about what happened over Christmas" she said slowly giving him a knowing look.

Severus stared at her a moment before he froze up. His parents...

"Why do you care? You're only trying to milk me for information" he snapped.

She shook her head frantically her long red hair waving around her pretty face. "No, no you misunderstand I was only giving you my sympathies"

"Sympathy... _sympathy_... from you? Don't make me laugh" he said anger welling up inside of him.

"I'm only trying to be nice, maybe you should try it sometime" she spat.

"Let's face it, Lily, neither of us are going to be friends any more you may as well just run along now you didn't care about my parents you didn't even like them!"

"Now you know that isn't-"

"Why don't you just fuck off!" he snarled catching the attention of some of the others standing around them.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, looked him up and down and turned her attention on Remus.

"I don't know how you can waste your time on someone like him, he's not worth the air he wastes" she said before turning up her nose and stalking away.

Severus turned to Remus who wrapped his arms around him pulling him up against his chest. Severus buried his face in the soft warm fabric there for a moment sniffling quietly.

"Are you alright, Sev?" he asked quietly exchanging glances with Professor McGonagall as she came down the corridor.

"I'm fine it's just bringing up my mum and dad like that and what she said to you..." he said quietly. "Please don't be angry with me" he looked up into Remus' handsome face.

"Of course I'm not angry with you, actually I completely understand your reaction to be honest, I think I would have done the same" he smiled gently stroking Severus' cheek.

"You aren't going to leave me?" Severus asked in a tiny voice.

"Leave you! Of course not don't be silly, I couldn't if I wanted to it would kill me" Remus smiled warmly.

"Do you promise?"

"No" Remus said.

Severus' heart froze in his chest a hurt expression crossing his face.

"I swear it" Remus breathed, and in front of everyone he leaned down and kissed Severus softly on the lips.

Now that they were back in lessons and it was Severus' birthday tomorrow, the excitement was really going to be kicked up a notch...


	12. The Birthday and The Will

For the rest of the day the two boys didn't have any more trouble really from anyone. At lunch the rest of the Marauders kept eyeing them up making Severus very uncomfortable.

By the time the evening came around and they headed back to the common room after dinner, they were both worn out.

"Fuck staying up for anything" Remus yawned slouching into the dormitory hand in hand with an equally as tired Severus.

"I agree, straight to bed?" Severus asked.

"You got it!"

They headed into the bathroom, brushed their teeth, had a wash, went to the toilet and then headed back into the dormitory. Thankfully the others had chosen to stay downstairs to Severus could get changed openly. When he pulled his top off he stopped to stare at his scarred skin, he looked bloody awful.

Remus glanced up and paused watching Severus tracing some of the lines on his wrists. Remus smiled and walked over to him gently wrapping his arms around his waist pulling him close. "Hey what's up?"

Severus sighed. "Just looking at my scars"

"They're fading a little more" Remus said gently.

"Not enough, every line is an absolute regret, a horrible memory I'll never be able to erase no matter how much time passes"

"Things are getting so much better for you, Severus, just look at what you've accomplished this week alone" Remus smiled warmly tilting the smaller boy's face up a little. "You've cared for me, you've made it through lessons, you've survived, had an amazing Christmas and you haven't broken down once, I'd say that was a brilliant achievement considering everything you've been through"

Severus smiled a little. "Why are you so good at making me feel better?"

"Because I love you and it's my job, maybe there's some kind of treated cream or potion we could rub on those to make them fade completely if you want to get some?" Remus suggested gently taking Severus' arms, all the memories of things he'd witnessed with Severus, the first time he'd seen his sore bleeding arms flashed through his mind making the bile rise to his throat. He'd hated seeing Severus that way, so weak and vulnerable like a small boy who needed to be taken care of.

"That would be nice" Severus nodded eagerly.

Remus smiled warmly his eyes falling half lidded as he ran his hands over Severus' torso. "You're so beautiful"

"No I'm not" Severus looked away.

"Yes you are, just look at yourself you amaze me" Remus breathed watching the blush spread to the tips of Severus' ears. "So cute!"

"You're making me all hot and red" Severus chuckled.

"Yeah well that just makes you even cuter" Remus beamed. He pressed his lips quickly to Severus' before drawing back and stripping down into his baggy black underwear.

Severus followed suit pulling down his trousers, he glanced up in surprise as Remus pulled a little black lacy garter from his top drawer and slip it up his own leg.

"Someone's starting to some seriously sexy underwear" Severus smirked playfully. He was right, Remus looked ridiculously hot with that on.

"Mm you like?" Remus smirked turning his back a little and gazing over his shoulder as he smoothed his hands over his bum through his underwear.

"Very much!" Severus grinned playfully. "You look really submissive wearing underwear like that and posing so sexily"

"I am submissive" Remus breathed fluttering his eyelashes in a way that made Severus squirm a little with giddy pleasure.

"Mm..."

"Touch me if you want" Remus winked.

Severus moved forward resting his hands on Remus' backside he massaged them giving his cheeks a cheeky squeeze each. "Very nice indeed" he breathed.

"You think I'm sexy?" Remus flushed all embarrassed about asking this question.

"Remus put it this way, it must be illegal to be as sexy as you are and right now I'm struggling to keep my sperm in my testicles" Severus chuckled.

"Ooft you say such dirty things to me" Remus winked turning to face Severus who was standing there grinning at him.

"Wanna get into bed?" Severus smiled pulling on a fresh night shirt just long enough to cover his scars in case the others saw them. He did not fancy dealing with that explanation.

"Sure" Remus smiled.

They clambered into bed and shut the curtains snuggling up together still gazing at one another.

"It's your birthday tomorrow" Remus smiled warmly brushing some of the long dark hairs from Severus' face.

Severus chuckled. "I know so you keep saying"

"I'm just excited" Remus shrugged a little.

"I think you're probably more excited than I am" Severus replied.

"That a bad thing"

Severus shook his head. "No I've just been feeling a little weird about it is all, it's the first one since my parents died and although they didn't really care I just felt at least I had someone, but now I have you and I love you"

"I love you too" Remus whispered. "Don't go upsetting yourself you're above that babe"

They settled down and it wasn't long before they were both fast asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

The next morning, Remus was awake earlier than usual. He lay rubbing his tired eyes before glancing at the time, it was probably too early to wake Severus up just now. Sighing he had some juice and forced himself to lay and not wake Severus. He gazed into his lover's pretty face, who cares what other people think of Sev? Who cares if people think he's ugly, or pathetic, or they hate him. To Remus he was perfect and it was just proof that there's always someone out there who will love you for who you are. Remus honestly thought Severus was beautiful in every way, shape or form.

He lay there for some time gazing at his loved one until Severus began to stir a little and he smiled. "Sev wakey wakey" Remus breathed pressing soft kisses to the side of his face.

"Hmm?"

"Hi sexy" Remus breathed.

Severus' dark eyes opened and he smiled into Remus' face.

"Morning sleepy head, you know what day it is?"

Severus chuckled and looked thoughtful for a moment as Remus rolled over and yanked something out from down the side of the bed.

"It's your birthday!" he beamed shoving a neatly wrapped parcel in Severus' hands.

Severus blushed, yawned and sat up gazing at it. "Thank you but you really didn't need to get me anything"

"My pleasure and I wanted to, it's your special day so you deserve to have something nice" Remus grinned. "Go on open it!"

Severus smiled again, today was already getting off to a great start even if he really hadn't expected Remus to buy him anything. Carefully he tore off the wrapping paper, a small box sat in his hands and he stared at it in confusion a moment before looking up into Remus' face.

"Open it"

Severus carefully lifted back the lid and gasped. Inside was a crested locket with a beautiful emerald and silver detailing, when Severus looked closer he noticed it was pattered with small lions and serpents intertwined beneath the crystal sheath. "Remus it's gorgeous"

"Pop it open" Remus breathed.

Severus did as he was told, a piece of paper fluttered out onto the bed sheets over Severus' lap. Curiously he picked it up and unfolded it.

_Sev; _

_This is a promise locket and I know that probably sounds girly and kinda silly but I wanted to give you something expensive and heart felt. I know we haven't been together all that long but I wanted to tell you how much I love and respect you. You're such a kind, generous, amazing, brave person and I admire you for everything you've been through and come out the other end with a smile on your face. We've been through so much in little over a month now and these past few months I know have been really hard on you but I just wanted to say that I love you so much, this locket is a symbol of the promise I'm making to care for you, honour you, respect you and above all else, love you forever. _

_All my love_

_-Remus xx_

"Oh Remus..." Severus breathed.

"Do you like it?" Remus asked a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"I love it so much, gods I love you" Severus gasped throwing his arms around Remus' shoulders burying his face in the side of his neck. "You've made my whole year with this"

"I'm glad you like it because I had it made especially for you I thought it symbolised us really well and I know you so well"

"Nobody else knows me like you do, nobody else knows anything about me really"

"I know, you seem so cold, hard and miserable to most but inside you're a cuddly little bunny" Remus smiled.

"A bunny?" Severus laughed.

"Yes, cute and small and incredibly sweet, everybody loves bunnies"

"Not everybody loves me"

"No but not everybody loves me either" Remus chuckled. "But I love you"

"And I love you too" Severus smiled.

"So that's all that matters"

"I agree" Severus whispered pressing his lips to Remus' soft pale cheek.

Slowly they drew back, Remus picked up the locket and draped it around Severus' slender neck. He sat back to admire it stroking his fingers through Severus' long silky black hair. Ever since they'd gotten together Severus was making so much more of an effort with his appearance, his hair was always clean, his skin was much cleaner, his clothes were always tidy even if some of them were very old and worn. Remus always thought Severus looked nice and presentable even before they were together but now he looked so much healthier and happier, gaining a little weight had evened him out too and Remus knew Severus' change of appearance would annoy his ex-friends even more.

"You really do look amazing you're so much brighter and healthier than you were before" Remus smiled. "I'm so proud of you"

"It's all because of you so you're only congratulating pretty much your own work" Severus flushed a tiny bit and averted his eyes.

"Even if it is, you've changed so much you look so nice and fresh and healthy you seem to be wanting to make the effort now whereas before you weren't into it much"

"That's because before I fell in love with you I didn't give a shit about my appearance, everybody took the piss out of it and every time I looked in the mirror I hated myself more. I felt like the ugliest person on the face of the Earth, I still do but not as bad as before because you make me feel special and attractive"

"Because you are special and attractive" Remus' voice was light and soft.

"I don't feel or see it personally"

"Well you are, if you weren't I would still love you no matter what but to me you're beautiful your eyes are gorgeous they're so dark you almost can't see your pupils unless you look really closely" Remus breathed. "They're so unique and interesting"

Severus couldn't help but blush again. This time he looked Remus straight in the eye so he could see the colour better. "Yours are blue they're so soft and pretty, blue eyes are really unusual, proper blue, not the ones with tints of other colours pure blue are different"

"I like yours better"

Severus chuckled. "We all like things that other people have, I'd like eyes like yours and you'd like mine" he tilted his head to the side and smiled. "I'd also like my hair a little lighter, black hair and black eyes are so harsh.

"But they're so beautiful on you, your black eyes and black hair are you and they suit you perfectly you're so hot" Remus smiled tucking a piece of hair behind Severus' little ear.

"I look like my mum" Severus said quietly.

"You'll have to find a picture and show me sometime" Remus said gently. He really didn't want to see Severus upset especially on his birthday and it being the first one since his parents died would be so much harder on him. "How about we get a wash, have some breakfast and then come back up and you can let me treat you" he smirked playfully.

"That sounds great to me" Severus breathed.

They pulled back the drapes and slipped out heading for the bathroom.

Fifteen admittedly playful minutes later and they were on their way down to the great hall for some breakfast. Apparently the others had simply refused to get out of bed so early leaving them to go down alone, even if it was later than usual it was still a Saturday and most people slept in for a while then.

"People are staring" Severus said quietly as they passed through the entrance hall hand in hand.

"Who cares if they are" Remus said calmly. "Let them stare you've got nothing to be ashamed of, you're wonderful and you've done nothing wrong"

Severus blushed a tiny bit and smiled. "You make me feel so much better"

"You deserve to feel really good about yourself there's nothing wrong with you" Remus flashed him a smile.

They headed into the great hall and discreetly took their seats at the Slytherin table. Remus could see his ex-friends watching them closely from where they were sitting but he didn't react or let Severus know they were staring, he didn't want to upset him or cause a fight. They could start a fight over nothing.

"I'm so nervous" Severus breathed piling a small amount of food onto his plate.

"Nobody is staring, Sev, you've got nothing to be worried about you've done nothing wrong" Remus said.

Severus risked a glance and Remus was right none of the other students were staring except Potter, Black and Pettigrew. Severus shuddered visibly.

"Don't let them get to you, Sev" Remus said quietly. "They're only looking there's no harm in that"

"If they do anything to hurt you again I'll kill them" Severus said through gritted teeth. True he was actually afraid of them but he'd rather be hurt himself than see his beautiful Remus injured like that again.

"They won't, I don't want you getting hurt again" Remus said quietly.

"It's you I'm more concerned about than myself" Severus breathed.

"Severus I love you and I want you to be safe and happy, please take your own safety and happiness into consideration not just mine"

"I'd rather get hurt than ever see you lying in hospital helpless again" Severus sighed.

"I wasn't helpless, you were there to care for me and you make such a sexy nurse" Remus breathed pressing his lips to Severus' cheek.

Severus blushed furiously and smiled up into Remus' face.

"You were oh so sexy taking care of me, I even debated on whether to fake it a bit longer and pull a sicky just so you could care for me longer" Remus smiled his own cheeks reddening.

"Mm" Severus groaned. "I wouldn't mind taking care of you" he winked playfully.

"Well today is your birthday so I'll be the one... caring... for you" Remus fluttered his eyelashes seductively. "But of course I wouldn't mind if you should decide to return the favour" he winked playfully.

Severus' lips curled into a smile. Remus could be so seductive and feminine sometimes, he wasn't complaining, he actually found it extremely arousing.

"Baby I wouldn't mind having a go with you" Severus growled.

Remus was shocked, not just at Severus' tone but at his choice of words, it was totally strange, new and unlike him. And Remus loved it.

"Even if it is early in the morning, you've woken me right up" Remus licked his lips.

Severus chuckled. "Actually testosterone levels peak in the early hours of the morning that's what causes a morning erection and they sort of remain high for a little while"

"Really?" Remus blinked.

Severus nodded.

"Well that's interesting I had no idea I just thought it was blood flow or dreams or something" Remus said rather impressed actually.

"It can be that too but it is just hormones basically" Severus added.

"Funky" Remus smiled.

They finished breakfast and made their way and a nice, normal pace back to the common room. Severus wasn't feeling too bad about this whole being out in the open thing.

Once they were in the common room they were instantly greeted by the warm glow of the fire. Severus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

Safe. Home.

"Wanna go back upstairs?" Remus asked.

"Yeah sure"

They headed back into the dormitory, by now the others were up and the second they opened the door-

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Severus yelped and jumped back clutching his chest with shock. "Oh Merlin!" he gasped with shock.

"Sorry mate but Happy Birthday!" Avery shouted thrusting a parcel into Severus' arms.

"Oh thank you" he smiled gently taking the neatly wrapped gift.

"And here's a card and a little something from all of us together" Mulciber smiled resting it on top.

"Thank you very much" Severus breathed, he was stunned they'd do this for him. Walking over to the bed he could feel their eyes burning on him as he sat down and carefully opened his gift.

"Oh wow this is really nice, thank you" Severus grinned pulling the nice pair of long flowing black trousers out.

"I figured you'd be pretty easy to shop for and plus you're so tiny in the waist" said Avery.

"They're really nice thank you but you didn't need to get me anything..." Severus breathed.

"Well I wanted to, open the other present that's from us lot, Regulus, Wilkes and the other guys too" Avery smiled.

Severus picked up the card and opened it, shaking it from its envelope he smiled at the moving image of them all, a photograph taken back in second year when they'd all become good friends, including Regulus! Opening it a small burst of confetti shot into his face and Severus laughed, then gasped.

Inside was a gift certificate of forty galleons to his favourite book shop in Hogsmeade. That was a lot of money, especially to someone like Severus.

"You seriously didn't need to get me anything like this, this is way too much" Severus said quickly.

"What is it, Sev?" Remus asked curiously moving over and picking up the gift voucher, he gasped himself. "Fucking hell!"

"We know you've been through so much in little over a month, we feel awful for not realising you're a great friend to us, Slytherin brothers until the end and all so we wanted to get you something nice for your birthday that would hopefully make you feel better" Mulciber said quietly.

"Yeah because you deserve it" Evan nodded.

"And it's not like we don't have the money to give you" Avery pointed out. "We understand you don't have a lot..."

Mulciber quickly nudged him in the ribs warning him to shut up right there that he'd said enough already.

"Thank you all so much this is great" Severus smiled getting to his feet and resting the card on the bedside table. Remus dropped the gift certificate into the top drawer where it would be safe and turned to watch and smile as Severus approached Avery and gently hugged him.

Evan gasped quietly catching Mulciber's attention. He nodded discreetly to where Severus' arms were around Avery's back, his sleeves had fallen back revealing some of the still red scars.

Mulciber's eyes widened as he stared at them for a few moments before Severus pulled back and turned on him. He hugged Severus very carefully his eyebrow's folding into a firm, worried line.

Severus moved on and hugged Evan before making his way over to give Remus a cuddle.

"You wanna... spend some time together?" Severus whispered into his boyfriend's ear.

Remus shuddered with excitement and nodded eagerly. "With pleasure" he breathed. He tilted Severus' face enough to lean down and kiss him tenderly on the lips.

"Ah we're off to get some breakfast and give you both some privacy" Mulciber smirked.

Remus lifted his hand a little to wave at them as they left and closed the dormitory door behind them.

"Severus I love you"

"I love you too, Remus" Severus breathed leaning in closer to lock them into a passionate kiss.

Down in the common room...

"Why are you two looking so worried?" Avery frowned as they made their way through the warm dungeon room.

Evan and Mulciber exchanged glances and stopped walking.

"What?" Avery asked confusedly.

Evan looked around quickly to make sure nobody was around before stepping closer to Avery. "Don't repeat this to anyone but when Snape hugged you upstairs his sleeves fell back a bit and his arms are like covered in slash scars"

"Slash scars?" Avery's warm brown eyes widened.

"Like self harming" Mulciber said quietly.

"Are you serious?!"

They both nodded looks of concern crossing their handsome faces.

"You think he's been cutting then?" Avery breathed.

"Yeah at some point, didn't see all that much of them but they weren't scabby or bleeding they just looked like red scars" Evan explained. "Remus must know about this he must have seen them"

"He probably has, he must know what's going on" Mulciber said.

"This is so much worse than we ever thought..." Avery sighed.

"You think we should tell the others?" it was Mulciber again.

"No I don't, I think if he'd have wanted anyone to know he'd have said something, let's just keep this between us" Avery said quickly.

"Agreed" they nodded.

Back up in the dormitory...

Severus moaned pulling Remus down onto the bed with him without breaking the kiss.

Remus groaned softly sliding himself carefully on top of Severus sinking between his legs as their tongues rolled together passionately. "Gods so sexy" he breathed sliding a hand up Severus' slender side.

Severus gasped pulling down the zip on Remus' top shoving it over his shoulders, nervously he slid his hands beneath his t-shirt. "Can I take this off?" he whispered against those soft tender lips.

"Yeah" Remus moaned pulling back a moment to let Severus pull his top over his head.

Severus tossed the soft fabric aside, discarding it carelessly his dark eyes roaming over Remus' slender, lightly scarred torso. His teeth sank into his bottom lip and he groaned with delight. "You're very fit"

"You need to see yourself" Remus breathed leaning down for another kiss as Severus' hands felt their way across his upper body feeling every line, angle and curve. Remus was built exactly the way a teenage boy should be built.

"No you're so fit why do you even look at me?" Severus breathed.

"Because I love you and to me you are beautiful, more beautiful than you'll ever know"

"Remus..." Severus moaned, his fingers trailed down the werewolf's strong frame to his waistband, he plucked at it nervously, eager to see more of his lover's gorgeous body. Remus didn't hesitate, even as Severus opened the button and slid down his zipper tooth by tooth in such a painfully teasing manner it gave Remus shivers. Slowly he pushed the heavier fabric over Remus' hips pushing it down his legs so Remus could kick them off. Severus broke the kiss his dark eyes fell to where Remus was badly bulging out of the front of his boxer shorts.

"Mm feeling excited?" Severus breathed.

"Every time I look at you I'm excited" Remus smiled. "You're incredibly beautiful"

"So are you" Severus moaned.

Remus' hands smoothed over Severus' body, he brushed his fingers over his soft nipples through his top. Slowly but surely he pulled Severus' hoodie over his head, his hands slipping under his t-shirt feeling that warm, supple skin.

"Can I take this off?" Remus whispered brushing his lips along Severus' jawline.

"Yes" Severus breathed. He shifted a little as Remus pulled the fabric up over his head revealing his scarred, pale torso. Right now he didn't care if he was lying half naked, his scars on show, his fatal words, all he cared about was being with Remus.

The werewolf sat bag a little biting his bottom lip with excitement as he smoothed his hands over that fragile skin. "So fucking sexy"

Severus bit his bottom lip and moaned, this was definitely turning out to be an amazing birthday.

In less than a minute, Severus' trousers had joined Remus' and he was laying flat on his back with Remus lying between his legs their bodies close.

Slowly, Remus kissed his way down Severus' body, his tongue teasing his small rosy nipples to attention before delving lower kissing over his slender tummy he stopped nipping at the waistband of Severus' boxers. He could hear his lover's breathing picking up and smiled to himself, Severus was enjoying this. "Mm you want me to kiss you there?" Remus breathed his eyes flickering up to lock in an intense gaze with Severus'.

"Wow" Severus whispered.

Remus smirked pressing his face lower he nuzzled Severus' erection through his baggy boxer shorts. "Mm" he groaned softly, he could feel Severus practically throbbing under his touch and slowly but surely he hooked his fingers into that waistband earning a small mewl from Severus as he pulled his underwear down and off.

Without a word, Remus delved down kissing and nuzzling his lover's balls softly. Severus' breathing quickened as Remus' small pink tongue darted at drawing patterns on his tender skin. Remus' blue eyes flashed up meeting Severus' as he ran his tongue in a long trail from the base to tip of Severus' swollen, throbbing erection.

Severus moaned loudly propping himself up better to watch as Remus nudged back his foreskin, his tongue swirling around his leaking slit.

"That feels so good..." Severus whispered biting his bottom lip in a way that made Remus squirm.

"Mm you want me to take more?" Remus purred. "You want me to suck on you? To blow you properly, take you into my throat?"

Severus shuddered visibly and moaned again his toes curling.

Remus smirked, this was exactly the reaction he wanted.

Carefully, Remus slipped his hand under Severus' thigh propping his leg up so his foot lay flat against the bedding, he moved and did the same with the other pushing them further apart and slowly yet passionately kissing the insides of his sensitive, damaged thighs. Remus didn't care how scarred, lined, or otherwise imperfect Severus' skin was, to him it was purely and utterly perfect.

"So fucking sexy" Remus moaned, he wasn't lying he'd never found anyone as attractive, beautiful or anywhere close to perfect as he found Severus. Severus was his shining star, he radiated perfection in every conceivable way.

Severus groaned softly again and gasped as Remus' hands trailed over an especially sensitive spot. "Remus..." Severus breathed. "I love you"

"I love you too, gorgeous" Remus moaned before leaning down and taking the head of his boyfriend's member in his warm mouth, sucking on him roughly yet lazily. He moaned gently into Severus' throbbing erection, the vibrations bringing a new wave of pleasure about Severus' body.

Slowly he pushed his lips down further onto Severus' member earning a loud gasp. His perfect cupids bow lips curled into a smirk as he gave a rough suck on that beautiful member earning another adorable little sound from Severus.

Within seconds, Severus was gasping, moaning and writhing a little against the emerald covers.

Severus could feel his orgasm building quickly, he arched off the bed a little moaning pressing his erection further into Remus' mouth until-

Remus pulled back quickly, leaning back a smirk playing on his swollen rosy lips.

Severus gazed up at him in confusion panting heavily for breath. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Not at all babe, I don't want you to cum too soon I'm not done making you feel amazing on this special day" Remus breathed taking Severus' hand and kissing it tenderly.

Severus could feel his heart melting with joy. "Please never leave me"

"I swear I never will it would kill me" Remus said honestly, his eyes spoke of pure honesty, he was genuine and loving and Severus could barely breathe.

"Then show me what you want to do to me" Severus whispered.

Remus smiled warmly before he gently began to stimulate Severus' erection very slowly. Carefully his fingers trailed over his sensitive, plump balls before delving lower brushing up and down his perineum, adding a little more pressure each time.

Severus moaned and wiggled his hips a little, this felt really good.

Remus grinned with excitement, shifting a little his eyes wandered lower and he emitted a soft breathy moan. "I can see your arsehole"

Severus' eyes widened and he sat up abruptly his breath catching in his throat, his cheeks went up in flames and he averted his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked worriedly searching his lover's face.

Severus swallowed. "I didn't know you could see it..." he breathed.

Remus blinked, obviously confused. "Don't you want me to see it?"

"I-I didn't know you'd want to look at it because it's kind of embarrassing..."

"Oh Sev it looks fine, very nice in fact" Remus smiled.

"I just feel a little nervous because I'm still a virgin" Severus breathed looking up into Remus' face.

"And so am I, I wasn't going to do anything bad to you, I always ask permission before I touch you know that" Remus flashed a grin pulling Severus into his arms. "I know you must have thought I was going to try and sleep with you but I really wasn't, not until the time is right, special and we're both ready" Remus breathed.

Severus shuddered with pleasure, Remus' voice touched him in all of the places his fingers never could. He pulled back gazing into Remus' eyes before slowly he lay himself back, lifted up his legs. Swallowing the nervous lump in his throat he reached down and parted his cheeks exposing himself to his lover.

Remus' soft breathy moan was enough to calm Severus, letting him know Remus liked this. He looked down meeting Remus' eyes and smiled.

Remus leaned a little closer gazing at Severus' pink, puckered skin curiously. He was so tiny and perfect. Slowly he slipped two fingers into his mouth, wetting them before withdrawing them and looking up into those beautiful dark eyes. "Can I touch you there?" it was almost a whisper.

Severus smiled and nodded nervously. He watched as Remus' fingers moved closer and gasped when they ran across his sensitive flesh, it was far more sensitive than he'd ever have expected it to be, the tingles shot all the way up to his still throbbing erection.

"Did I hurt-"

"Gods that felt so good" Severus moaned. "Again, please, more"

Remus' face lit up with a dazzling smile and carefully he pressed his fingers to that pucker again gently massaging them around the entrance to his hole. Severus moaned loudly in response. He was enjoying this.

"How does it feel?" Remus asked huskily adding a teasing amount of pressure to Severus' virgin entrance.

"It feels really good, it tingles and it's turning me on so much" Severus breathed. "Remus..." he panted.

"Yes babe?"

"Could you... put a finger inside?" Severus moaned gazing into his lover's eyes from where he was propped up against the headboard with a fluffy pillow.

Remus groaned softly. In truth he wanted to but he was nervous about doing this right, worried he may accidentally hurt Severus. "Okay I'll be really gentle" he smiled. Slowly but surely Remus pressed the tip of his finger into Severus' entrance sliding up to the first tiny knuckle inside of him.

Severus moaned a little wiggling his hips asking for more.

"Is it okay?" Remus asked worriedly.

Severus nodded eagerly. "There's hardly anything inside" he breathed.

Remus pushed in a little further, halfway to his second knuckle before he stopped again gazing into Severus' eyes, his own cheeks were glowing with excitement, the look in those swirling dark eyes was enough to arouse anybody.

"It feels nice" Severus breathed.

"No pain?"

Severus shook his head and smiled. "It feels really good can go you deeper?" he groaned.

Remus flashed a cheeky grin before pushing his finger in just past the second knuckle, Severus tensed a little but relaxed quickly and moaned spreading his legs further apart.

"Fuck" Severus gasped sinking his sharp teeth into his bottom lip.

Remus let out a moan and slowly began to thrust his finger inside his lover, fascinated by the way his hole flexed around the intruding finger, it looked so good, so pretty and Severus' response was beautiful, he arched his back a little and moaned allowing his arms and legs to fall wide open moaning softly.

"You like that?" Remus breathed huskily. "Like something up your arse?"

"Yes" Severus moaned helplessly. "More, please" he gasped.

"With pleasure" Remus smirked, and with one movement slipped his middle finger the whole way inside. Severus gasped and tensed a little but moaned anyway wiggling his hips.

Remus smirked and gently thrust his finger back and forth working a nice, easy rhythm that wouldn't be too much for Severus.

It wasn't until Remus crooked his fingers ever so slightly and they brushed against something inside of Severus that they boy thrust back into the pillow arching his back off of the bed and emitting a strangled cry.

Remus froze, panic washing over him. "Oh Merlin Severus I'm sorry I'll stop-"

"NO" Severus gasped panting for breath, he could have sworn he saw stars. "That felt fucking incredible, do it again, please, again!" he moaned wiggling his hips.

Remus nervously pressed into that same spot again watching Severus' erection dribble out some clear pre-cum and he moaned.

"Prostate" Severus said. "That's my prostate"

"Does it feel good?"

"Seriously Remus you've got to feel this..." Severus moaned loudly as Remus rubbed against that oh so wonderful little gland again.

"Well maybe... maybe you could do this to me" Remus swallowed nervously watching Severus' cock give an eager jerk at the statement.

"Fuck yes!"

Remus continued to thrust into Severus with his finger, massaging his prostate, Severus had loosened rather nicely around his fingers and very gently, Remus slipped another one in much to Severus' delight. He hoisted his lover's legs up so his back was curved, his knees bent and feet in the air before leaning down and suddenly engulfing Severus' erection in his mouth taking it as far as he could before working on it slowly.

"Oh shit, balls, fuck, cock!" Severus gasped panting for breath, his orgasm was already approaching, there was no way he could hold on much longer with Remus stimulating him like this.

Remus smirked to himself, pausing for only a moment, taking Severus' cock slowly into his throat.

Severus was struggling to contain himself as Remus started moving slowly, his erection sliding so deep into his mouth and throat, a small gagging noise escaped but Remus persisted until it became comfortable. Severus felt on the brink of bursting, the incredible sensations in his arse and cock were too much to handle.

"Remus I'm gonna cum..."

Remus moaned loudly, those powerful vibrations along with a rough massage of his prostate sent Severus spiralling over the edge.

"REMUS" he cried as he came, an orgasm so powerful he felt dizzy, white flashed before his eyes as his cock jerked and he came straight into Remus' throat almost making his lover choke.

His orgasm seemed to last forever, he watched as Remus sucked and swallowed every drop of his never ending flow of semen until finally it stopped.

Remus pulled back gently and withdrew his fingers, his lips swollen as he licked them carefully his eyes glazed with arousal as he stared into Severus' face.

Severus was trembling with the shock of his orgasm, he'd never felt anything so amazing and powerful in all of his life. If this is what just being sucked and fingered felt like, what would it be like to actually have sex?

"Before you ask, that doesn't count as losing your virginity, it was only fingering" Remus chuckled watching a grin spread across Severus' face.

"That was fucking incredible, thank you so much, Remus"

"Don't thank me I love you so much I'm happy to do it any time" Remus breathed.

"Mm well how about" Severus smirked sitting up and pulling Remus in for a teasingly hot kiss. "I do it to you now"

Remus moaned loudly, turned around and flopped back where Severus was lying, the bulge in the front of his boxers leaking a small amount through the fabric, his legs falling open. "Yes fucking please" he moaned.

Severus fluttered his long dark lashes shyly before leaning down and pulling off Remus' boxer shorts. This was going to be fucking amazing...

A few hours passed and finally Severus and Remus emerged after having a long fumble, a hot bath and dressing themselves up nicely for dinner. They'd completely missed lunch but didn't even care as they were having far too much fun.

"Severus that was absolutely incredible you're so talented" Remus grinned as they walked merrily, hand in hand down into the common room.

Their faces were absolutely glowing with happiness and physical pleasure. Severus hadn't felt so good in a while, Remus had managed to for once make him feel sexy and desirable even if he thought in his heart of hearts he wasn't, Remus had worked his magic and made him feel special and utterly amazing, both when he was receiving the pleasure and especially when he'd had Remus writhing on the bed under the mercy of his slender fingers and tongue.

"So are you, and when you're being pleasured it's so incredibly hot..." Severus almost moaned at the memory of it. "You're a submissive little bottom aren't you?" he chuckled.

Remus flushed a little but grinned and nodded anyway. "I love being dominated by you"

"Mm I love the way it makes you, so sexy and cute" Severus flushed a little.

"Thank you Sev, you're absolutely beautiful" Remus smiled as they walked into the common room. The others were sitting around the fire and looked up when they came in.

"Oh finally can we go upstairs now?" Avery said briskly trying not to look at Severus.

Remus just laughed. "It's your room"

"Yeah but we didn't want to walk in on you two getting it on" Mulciber said.

"You had sex?!" Regulus gasped.

"No we didn't we were just playing" Severus said.

Avery quirked an eyebrow sarcastically.

"Hey we didn't have sex" Remus said calmly. "We were just enjoying each other" he smirked a little at his own statement.

"Long as you kept to your own bed then I don't mind" Mulciber chuckled.

"Yeah no spunk on the towels or the floor or anything" Evan added.

"Excuse me, _you're _telling _them _to not get spunk on the towels?!" Mulciber's eyebrows rose with disbelief.

Evan's faced turned brick read and creased into an unpleasant scowl. "Shut up!"

Severus laughed, today really was turning out to be brilliant.

"So listen everyone we're off for some dinner, you fancy coming with us?" Remus offered brightly. He still felt very out of place in Slytherin at times, especially seeing as most of the boys here in particular over the girls, had been horrible to him at some point, he was always worried they might dislike him for being a half-blood, gay or just that he was a Gryffindor, he was always careful with what he said not wanting to upset any of them, after all it wasn't his place to be rude, it was their house and their dormitory. Also he didn't want to upset Severus by fighting with his friends like he'd first expected but honestly, they were nowhere near as bad as everyone made out they were in fact rather nice people once he got to know them. Remus even supposed he could call them friends, and that meant a lot to him.

"Yeah sure let's go" Avery said happily.

"Yeah I'm in" Wilkes said getting up from the arm rest he was sitting perched on.

They all headed down to the great hall, seemingly creating a barrier around Severus shielding him from potential onlookers and hazards, probably because they didn't want to see him worried or hurt on his special day.

They dropped into their seats at the Slytherin table and began piling their plates with food when a thought struck Severus.

"Oh by the way everyone I wanted to thank you all for that gift voucher, it was extremely generous of you and I'm so grateful" Severus smiled nervously looking around at all of his friends.

"Don't mention it" Avery waved him off.

"Yeah it was nice to get you something you'll enjoy" said Regulus.

"I agree, have fun with it" Wilkes chuckled.

"Thanks" Severus smiled.

He ate a surprising amount for dinner and dessert before they headed back to the common room. He and Remus curled around each other laced through one another's bodies giving other people room to sit down on the sofa's. Severus had never felt so close and loved up, the pleasure today along with the romantic little hot bath and everything Remus had done for him in the past little over a month was amazing, incredible and he loved it so much. He was so grateful to the boy for everything he'd done he still couldn't believe that every morning when he woke up, Remus was lying there by this side still in love with him, making him feel so special and slowly but surely he was also making him feel beautiful and wanted. Desirable in fact, something Severus had never felt before in his entire life.

Even if his parents were gone, even if things had gone horribly wrong towards the end of last year, things were getting better day by day and he knew it. He was starting to gain and live a normal life, one where he could be a loved up teenage boy and do things other normal people did.

"You okay?" Remus asked stroking his fingers through Severus' long ebony locks. He'd been quiet for some time now.

"I'm perfect" Severus breathed blinking slowly up into Remus' handsome face. Every time he looked at the boy it just made his heart melt all over again, he'd never felt anything so strongly towards anyone. Remus was an absolute angel in every way, shape or form.

"Good" Remus smiled pressing his lips to Severus' forehead.

"How about you?"

"I'm fine, Sev, I'm really happy" Remus smiled again.

"Why?"

"Because I'm with you, and you seem really happy and bright today I'm really proud of you"

Severus' lips curved upwards and he averted his eyes for just a moment, a gesture that always meant he was feeling flattered.

Remus smiled.

"Thank you so much" Severus whispered.

"For what?"

"Loving me" Severus breathed leaning forward and pressing his lips to Remus'.

"You needn't thank me" Remus whispered, falling into that little happy place he and Severus visited whenever they spoke like this and became absorbed with one another. The rest of the world around them blocked out and nothing could disturb their peace. "Just always love me back"

"Of course" Severus breathed.

Their friends conversation around them didn't even bother them they barely heard any of it just drips and drabs of the odd sentence every so often, they were so focused on one another they lost track of time until Remus' lips folded into the perfect o shape as he yawned quietly.

"Sleepy?"

Remus nodded.

"Shall we go up to bed?"

"Don't you want to stay up a bit longer, it is your birthday after all"

"Nah I'm ready for my birthday to be done for another year" Severus chuckled. "Even if it has been incredible"

"What has been your favourite part?"

"Spending so much time with you and second is going that step further in our intimacy, I know we're still virgins but one day I'd really like to make love with you" Severus said quietly. The other's weren't however listening they were too busy laughing and horsing around to really notice, they'd gotten used to the two boys being so close together all the time it just became normal and natural for this. "I just love being intimate with you, not just sexually but romantic intimacy it feels so good and warm and utterly perfect"

"I know and I loved it too, I definitely want to do it with you someday when we're ready and the time is right, people say it isn't much of a deal any more but losing your virginity is and I know that I want to lose it to you some time" Remus breathed stroking his fingers along Severus' jaw to his chin. He leaned forward and pecked him tenderly on the lips.

"Shall we go up now?"

Severus nodded. "Yeah I'm exhausted"

"Okay" Remus smiled.

They shifted around and got to their feet stretching out and yawning loudly.

"We're off to bed" Severus said. He always felt nervous about addressing a large group of people even if they were his friends, attention was never something he liked to draw to himself.

"Alright, have a good birthday?" Mulciber asked.

"The best I've ever had actually" Severus smiled taking Remus by the hand.

"That's great!" Evan grinned.

"Night" the couple said heading for the dormitory stairs.

"Night" Regulus and the others called after them.

Up in the dormitory they washed and changed into their bed clothes before climbing in under the crisp, cool, freshly changed covers.

"Now this feels like the real perfect end to my birthday" Severus sighed happily relaxing back into the comfortable bed.

"I know I love the feel of clean sheets" Remus grinned.

They rolled up close together.

"I love you so much, Severus, more than words can describe and more than you'll ever know"

"I love you too, Remus, forever" Severus breathed.

"Happy birthday" Remus smiled warmly.

And with that they continued to press soft playful kisses to one another's lips until finally they drifted off into the best, most fulfilling sleep they'd had in a very long time.

The rest of the weekend passed and by the time Monday morning came around, Severus was nervous and edgy once again.

"You'll be fine, Sev, Friday went really well we were both okay" Remus smiled pulling on his clothes. In truth he was almost as nervous as Severus was but he wasn't going to show it, he had to set a good example and show his lover there was nothing to really be fearful about.

"What if someone starts again, what if one of us gets hurt, what if something goes wrong or I embarrass myself and you or perhaps-"

Severus was silenced by the kiss on the lips.

"Nothing will go wrong and even if it does I'm here to help and support you no matter what, I'll always be on your side" Remus smiled. "You are not alone, not anymore"

"Because I have you and you have me too" Severus flushed a light rosy pink.

"Exactly!" Remus nodded. "Let's go and get some breakfast, we can go to lessons and take it one step at a time, come up here during lunch and we don't have to make ourselves the centre of attention at any time"

"I like that idea" Severus admitted.

"Well then, let's put the plan into action" Remus chuckled.

They finished getting changed, had a wash and packed up their things ready to take to lessons. Severus was shaking with nerves and fright. Remus gently squeezed his hand as they walked along the dungeon corridor together. The others were right behind them and they had said the same thing as Remus, they would help him if he needed it or if he was frightened and that soothed him a lot.

They made their way into the great hall and sat down. Thankfully nobody paid too much attention in the mornings to much except their post and food, Monday mornings were the best for this.

After they'd finished eating they hurried along back down the dungeon corridor to potions where they stopped to wait outside.

"See everything is fine" Remus said gently holding Severus closely to his body.

"You're right, you're always right" Severus said quietly. "I don't know why I let myself get so carried away with my own thoughts" he said shaking his head with dismay.

"Because you've been through so much and that's understandable" Remus said. "I know what you mean and I know how you feel but just take a look at yourself in the mirror, you're so much better than you were you're really coming out of your shell now and I think in a few more weeks you'll be back on your feet and you'll be completely better"

"I'm going to agree with you on that" said Severus.

Remus looked stunned he hadn't expected Severus' reply to be so positive.

"You're absolutely right about me, and I know I can do this, I know I can be better again with your help, if you say I can do it then I believe you and I can do this with your help and become a good person" Severus said smiling up into Remus' face.

"Always be proud of who you are Severus" he breathed gently stroking the side of the Slytherin's face.

"I think you should take your own advice on that one too, I know you aren't proud to be who and what you are" Severus spoke at almost a whisper.

Remus swallowed. Severus was talking about his Lycanthropy, his transformation into a werewolf once a month, twice if there was a blue moon.

"I know you feel bad about it, nervous, scared, worried, terrified, disgusted with yourself, angry and all kinds of emotions but I want you to know that I'm not judging you on it you can't help it, it's a problem but you're amazing and you're worth so much more than you think you are"

"You explained my emotions perfectly" Remus breathed, stunned Severus could read him so well.

Severus just smiled and pecked Remus on the cheek. "I'm always here for you, you know that"

"I know and I you" the werewolf smiled. "That means so much to me"

"Alright everybody, in you go" Slughorn said loudly over the chattering heads as he unlocked the door.

The class filed in and they all took their seats, Severus feeling somewhat more comfortable with what was happening. Nobody was even looking at him.

Little after the first half of the lesson, Slughorn approached Severus with a smile. "Hello Severus how are you feeling?"

"Much better thank you" Severus nodded pausing his writing for just a moment.

"Very good it's so nice to see you back on your feet, you too mister Lupin" he nodded to Remus. "How is your head?"

"All nice and healed" Remus smiled. "Thank you"

"Very good, are you both alright, no problems or concerns?"

They shook their heads.

"Very well, if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask to speak to me, I'll organise a little catch up between us by the end of the lesson"

"Thank you, Professor" Severus said calmly.

"By lunch time, Severus was feeling a little more confident. Even if he was still walking along with his head down, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, shaking and trembling outside of the classroom and would only settle when he was in Remus' arms, he felt copious amounts better.

"So how has your morning felt?" Remus asked curiously. "You seem well today"

"I feel quite well today, I've got a long way to go I'll admit that but I'm nothing like I was" Severus said. "I feel lighter, safer and happier, I know people are still talking about what happened and that frightens me, I'm frightened of being hurt, that someone will come after me or something terrible will happen"

"Nobody is going to hurt you, not with me around I swear I won't let anything happen to you Severus" Remus said seriously. "Nobody has started, tried anything or even caused a small problem today, sure people have been looking and possibly talking but we can admit to that can't we? They aren't actually harming you"

"I guess that's true..."

"You see?" Remus smiled. He was so proud of Severus for this.

They got up and headed off to Divination, making their way into the classroom they sat on the armchairs facing one another by the window around the edge of the room.

Severus glanced up as the three remaining Marauders sat down just a few seats away, well actually it was more like the next table over.

Severus tensed nervously in his seat looking warily to Remus who frowned and turned around. Sirius' back was just over half a meter away from his own. Quickly he turned back to face Severus.

"It's okay" he mouthed.

Severus swallowed and nodded, he had to believe Remus, Remus was always right, Remus knew best even if it was frightening him. He didn't want to see Remus hurt or get hurt again himself. Every time those boys came close it terrified him, those awful memories would come flooding back and they would relive the horror again and again so clearly, they played on constant repeat so graphic and terrible it made Severus was to be sick.

Remus wasn't sure what to do, did he tell a teacher? Get up and move seat with Severus? Try and move his chair away? No matter what he did it made them look like they were afraid of Sirius, James and Peter and Remus didn't want them to think they'd won or that they were getting away with this, he didn't want to let them be able to dictate where they sat, what they did and how comfortable they made them feel in their own home. They had no fucking right.

So instead they stuck with it.

Throughout the lesson as James, Peter and Sirius talked and laughed and occasionally glanced over, Severus became increasingly on edge. His hands tightened so hard on the arms of the chair his knuckles turned white, he was sweating a little and his face had paled so he was sheer snowy white again.

By the end of the lesson, Remus got up and slowly packed up their things waiting for the Marauders to go before he spoke.

"Listen Sev, they were only doing that to scare us and upset you, don't let them dictate our lives they have no right to make either of us uncomfortable or frightened, this is our lesson, our school and our home they've got no right to make us feel bad about being here" Remus said quietly.

Severus swallowed and nodded looking up into Remus' face allowing his dark worried eyes to do all the talking for him. He was too frightened to speak, his mouth sealed in a grim line.

Remus smiled gently as he took Severus' upper arms gently in his hands. "Everything was okay we have to stand our ground we can do it together, look how far you're coming, please Sev, don't give it all up now if anyone doesn't deserve to be here it's them not you"

Severus nodded slowly and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist burying his face in his chest. He just wanted this day to end so he could curl up in bed with his boyfriend and have some rest.

By the time the end of the day approached they headed down to dinner in better spirits.

Severus felt exhausted after the day they'd had, just being back in normal lessons and working as normal even if he did feel stressed, strained and pressurised he was actually enjoying the fact the was doing something normal again. Lessons meant normality and with Remus there he felt incredibly safe.

After dinner they didn't even bother loitering in the common room to get ogled at and their every move watched and criticised. Severus could have sworn he heard someone shout faggots at them earlier and couldn't be dealing with anything like that, not right now at least.

Getting changed they slipped into bed curling up into one another's arms.

"How did you feel about today?" Remus asked gently.

"It was hard" said Severus. "I won't lie, it was draining and I felt so awkward and pressurised everywhere I went but you kept me sane"

"That's good because I know how you feel I felt the same I don't care what people think of us though they can say what they like I just want to protect you"

"Because you're so kind, compassionate and amazing" Severus breathed leaning in for a kiss.

"I love you so much, Severus" Remus whispered in between kisses.

"I love you too Remus"

The next few days passed in pretty much the same fashion. Severus was tense, shaky and nervous outside of every lesson. In the lesson he would watch people out of the corner of his eye to see them whispering, watching and judging him. He'd snapped two quills out of stress and ground his teeth until his jaw hurt from the pressure of it all.

Twice during Transfiguration he'd asked to go outside for a few moments to calm down. The Marauders had spent the entire of Tuesday's lesson gawking at him and smirking to one another, they were trying to get at him, Remus said so. He would do this for Remus, he would sit and endure it until the end of the week and for the weekend he would hide the fuck away and not come out until he was forced from his safety on Monday morning again.

For the whole day Thursday, Severus shook. He could hardly concentrate. He did feel a little tiny bit more relaxed but even the slightest things put him on edge, the sound of footsteps approaching him, laughter, someone stumbling near him, talking anything would make him feel as though he was sinking deeper into the dark depths of the ocean. He was still afraid but he was getting better very, very slowly.

By the time the last class finished on Friday, Severus was about ready to throw his books in the air, run back to the dormitory and for once in his life do a little dance to celebrate. He wouldn't have to be pressured in those classrooms for another three days, he was free to relax and spend some time with Remus.

"So how do you fancy heading into Hogsmeade tomorrow so you can spend that gift voucher on some nice new books? Would that cheer you up?" Remus offered as they sat down at the Slytherin table alone. They other's hadn't appeared yet, when they left they were still messing around outside throwing ice balls at one another, even if it was a little dangerous and there was still snow on the ground, neither Severus nor Remus cared. They'd gotten away from being surrounded by other people for just a little while, and that was good.

"That would be really nice, but you always think of me why not think of yourself for once?" Severus said tucking into his hot friend chicken.

"That's because I like to put others needs before my own" Remus smiled. "What do you have in mind?"

Severus shrugged. "Anywhere you want to visit in Hogsmeade? Or perhaps do when we get back?"

"Well... it's perhaps a little cold for this now but at some point I'd like to go flying with you" Remus said calmly, his eye flickering up momentarily into Severus' face.

Severus tensed a little. He wasn't overly great at flying on a broomstick. "Oh"

"It's a silly idea we don't have to do it" Remus waved him off.

"No I want to, we should definitely start doing things together I've had enough of moping, we need other things to do other than talk, homework, chess and sleep, even if they are important" Severus chuckled. He was putting his foot down, he wasn't going to jeopardise Remus' happiness or entertainment just for his own selfish needs. That was the way relationships worked and Severus really didn't want Remus to grow tired of him.

"Great then, you can choose the time and place and we'll go together"

"Sounds like fun, are you good on a broom?"

Remus shrugged. "Not so bad, I do alright, you?"

"I'm probably about the same" Severus chuckled. "It's not my strongest point but I can manage it, I tend to get a little shaky on a broom and nervous, had a bad experience when I was younger and it kind of brought about some vertigo"

"Oh shit I didn't realise, maybe it's not such a good idea after all..."

"No!" Severus said abruptly. "It's fine you can teach me I need to overcome things and sort my life out, this is just another obstacle I have to get past" he smiled.

"I just keep getting prouder of you" Remus smiled reaching across the table to stroke his fingers down the side of Severus' face.

Severus blushed and averted his eyes. He loved it when Remus did that.

They finished eating and went up to the library to sit in their little secluded, lonely corner for a few hours and do some homework before lounging in the common room a while.

The next morning when they woke, Remus was up and he was more playful than ever.

"Mm wake up sexy, I'm struggling to keep my hands to myself" he growled playfully nibbling on the helix of Severus' ear.

The smaller boy chuckled and pulled the covers up playfully over his head. "You get so crazy in the mornings"

Remus smirked and pressed his erection into Severus' thigh. "Look who is driving me to it"

Severus shuddered and pulled the covers back down turning over to face Remus. "Me too" he breathed.

"Now that is what I call sexy" Remus teased.

After an hour of playful fumbling around, they dressed and headed down to the great hall for breakfast.

Dropping into their seats, Severus gave a nervous glance around before picking up some toast and nibbling on it warily. He'd been used to incoming projectiles for several years now, even if in the past few weeks he hadn't had any, he was still extremely worried. It was the kind of thing that stuck with you.

The owls flew it dropping letters and parcels into the laps of their owners, some landing for a little fuss and some nibbles, others just leaving again immediately for the Owlery to have a nap and spend time with the other owls.

When a letter landed on Severus' plate he stared at it a moment and frowned.

"Looks like you got some post" Remus smiled. "Who's it from?"

"No idea" Severus said picking up the envelope.

_Mister S. Snape_

Was scrawled across the front in a very swirly neat font, black ink, that he did not recognise. Curiously he tore it open and the letter fell out.

Remus looked up in time to see Severus' jaw drop. "Severus? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly glancing at the letter.

"It's my parent's will..." he breathed.

Remus' eyes widened. "Go on..."

"They... left me everything" he whispered hoarsely.

Remus' mouth fell open. Now this certainly was something to be surprised about, it would mean they would have to visit his home, go through the proper proceedings and face up to their death properly this time. The major question that plagued massively on Remus' mind was, could Severus really cope with all of that now….?


	13. Ministry of Magic

Seconds ticked by and Severus continued to sit and stare at his letter with his mouth open. Very slowly he handed the letter over to Remus who took it nervously glancing worriedly into Severus' face. The last thing he wanted was for this to rock the boat and set Severus back any, he couldn't bear the thought of Severus going through what he went through only a few months ago, he didn't want to see all this progress ruined for the sake of a letter even if it was a serious and very important letter.

Dropping his eyes to the parchment, Remus began to read:

_Dear Mr Severus Snape;_

_We are writing to you from the Ministry of Magic to inform you of the legal decisions and actions that have been taken prior to the death of Mrs Eileen and Mr Tobias Snape. All proceedings with the Muggle law enforcement and governing bodies that needed to be made aware of the deaths have been sorted and we have arranged an appointment approximately ten days from this date (15__th__ January) and your hearing will be January 25__th__ at 10am in the department of magical law enforcement in the Wizengamot, when you arrive you will be taken to the correct room where the will shall be discussed officially. We understand you are still attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and you may bring someone as a companion whom will also act as a witness to the will reading as we understand how difficult this is, please be aware you will require an official member of school staff to also attend seeing as you are under the age of 17. _

_The following items have been left to you in your parents conjoined wills: _

_198 Spinners End, Cokeworth, North Yorkshire Great Britain. (Family home) _

_Money left in the Gringotts bank vault 2990 of Miss Eileen Prince (name and title were not changed after marriage) _

_Home furnishings, property and any keep sakes desirable in the house. _

_A selection of family photographs. _

_A collection of Dark Arts prophesy books dated from the 17__th__ century. _

_Money in the Muggle bank account which will be changed into your name of Mister Tobias Snape. _

_All items will be described and explained in detail during the reading, we look forward to seeing you and express our deepest regrets for your terrible loss. _

_Yours sincerely; _

_Miss Amanda Hopkins, Department of magical law enforcement office number 61_

Remus looked up into Severus' face, he seemed a little bit on edge but mostly calm. "The letter sounds... good..." he said quietly watching a tiny smile curl in the corner of Severus' mouth.

"You know, I never expected to deal with something like this" Severus said slowly. "But it's all mine now, all of it"

"You didn't think they would leave you anything after they died?" Remus frowned.

Severus shook his head. "Not a single thing, I thought when they died eventually, and never expected it to be this soon, that I would just be notified and that would be that, I would get my own place or something when I had a bit of money and never see that house again, it would be strange to go back without my father screaming abuse and launching things across the room at me and my mother, it would be strange not to have my mother terrified but to then lash out at my dad with anything within reach and to then turn on me and beat me senseless but I guess it's something I have to deal with and in some ways it is good" Severus said.

Remus folded up the letter putting it back in its envelope, he smiled gently wrapping his arms around Severus' waist. "I don't want to see you upset"

"I'm okay" Severus smiled leaning into Remus' touch and cuddling him back. "Could I ask something of you?" he asked quietly.

"Anything" said Remus.

"Please... come with me to the reading, I need you there with me for support just so I don't feel so alone, I couldn't handle going by myself" Severus said looking into Remus' eyes, his face full of pleading. The light glow in his eyes was that of pleading, Severus was afraid of facing up to this alone.

"Of course" Remus smiled. "You know I'll do anything for you"

"And I'd do anything for you too" Severus smiled warmly. "I'm so glad I have you"

"So how about we go and get permission when we're done eating and then head off to Hogsmeade, that way it is all behind us and we can enjoy these few days leading up to the reading" Remus suggested with a smile.

"I'd like that" said Severus.

They finished eating and headed off out of the great hall, making their way down into the dungeons they passed the other's finally bothering to drag themselves out of bed.

"Morning" Mulciber yawned stretching his arms up in the air.

"Hey" Remus smiled.

The boy glanced warily towards Severus. "Everything okay?"

"Just had my parents will come through, got a reading on the twenty fifth" Severus said quickly.

Mulciber nodded once.

"Sorry to hear that" Avery smiled weakly. "Know what you're getting? Ooft!"

Mulciber elbowed him sharply in the ribs warning him not to say anything else like that.

"Uhh, yeah" Severus said glancing between the two of them suspiciously. "Everything"

"Everything?" Evan blinked, confused.

Severus nodded exchanging smiles with Remus. "House, money, furniture... everything" he said. "I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but for now I don't really want to think about it until it happens, you know?"

The other boys nodded quickly in agreement. "Oh yeah" said Avery.

"Where are you going to now then?" asked Evan.

"Oh we're just going to see Professor Slughorn to let him know we're going to the reading" Remus smiled.

"Both of you?" asked Mulciber quirking one eyebrow suspiciously.

"Obviously... they always go together" Avery rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Yeah we are, we've already eaten and we're going into Hogsmeade after this, perhaps we will see you there or maybe later on?" Remus smiled. He was really starting to get along better with the Slytherin's, who knew they could actually be a rather friendly bunch after all the things that had been said in Gryffindor about them and just the general reputation, Remus was surprised to find out how close they all really were, and just how okay they were with Remus being in there because technically he was in enemy territory.

"Yeah see you in a bit then" Mulciber nodded.

"Bye" the other two called as the boys passed one another, Remus and Severus headed back along the corridor and right down towards Professor Slughorn's office. No doubt the man had eaten breakfast already and was back in his office by now as per usual. They stopped outside and Severus knocked loudly on the door.

"Come in" that familiar voice called.

They entered closing the door behind them.

"Good morning boys, what can I do for you today?" Slughorn asked brightly as he stoked at his fire on the left hand side of the room. He had been known to keep a constant fire going even in the classroom's during lesson to keep warm.

"Well Professor we've just received a letter from the Ministry..." Remus began turning to Severus to carry on the conversation.

Professor Slughorn glanced to the dark haired boy.

Severus looked down at his shoes before his eyes focused on his head of house. "Yeah as Remus said about getting a letter, it was about... my parent's will" he began.

Slughorn's lips pursed and he nodded once, he didn't look quite so bright and cheerful now, more like concerned. "Ah, I see"

"I've got an appointment to go and have an official reading at the ministry on the twenty fifth of this month, it says I can bring a friend and I'd like to take Remus, I also have to be with a teacher as I'm under seventeen" Severus explained.

"I see, well Remus is welcome to attend if he would like to, I will pass it along to Professor McGonagall or you can go and see her yourselves, there is no other option but to go to the reading, are you asking for me to go with you?" Slughorn asked confusedly.

"If that wouldn't be too much trouble..." Severus said quietly averting his eyes.

"I will need to run it by the headmaster but I see no reason why I cannot attend with you, may I see the letter or is it too personal?" the older man asked carefully.

Severus hesitated a moment before pulling the letter from his pocket, crossing the distance and handing it over. Remus was instantly by his side clutching his hand once again.

They watched as the teacher read very quickly over the letter before handing it back. "I see, yes that will be fine" he said calmly. "Severus I do hope this doesn't have too much of an effect on you, I understand this must be terribly hard on you"

Severus nodded quickly. "I'm fine, I think I can handle this, the news in the letter even if it is about a bad thing is still good" he said quietly.

"It is good news considering the circumstances" said Professor Slughorn.

"We are going into Hogsmeade today so we should probably get going" Severus said slowly glancing to Remus.

"Very well I shall have a word with Professor McGonagall and see you both later then" he potions master nodded looking from one boy to the other.

"Thank you very much" Severus smiled.

"It's quite alright"

"Thanks" Remus nodded.

They left the office and headed back into the entrance hall, making their way into the grounds hand in hand they walked to carriages all lined up. There were other students there clambering in so they boys hopped in quickly snapping the little door shut behind them.

"Looking forward to today?" Severus smiled brightly giving Remus' hand a little squeeze.

"Definitely" the werewolf breathed. "I'm still worried about you though..."

"Please don't" Severus shot him a sad look. "I'm fine, if I wasn't you'd know about it given my track record, please stop worrying about me and start focusing a little more on you" he smiled. "I'm focusing on you and I want to see you happy, when you're nervous or worried it upsets me because I feel like I've done something wrong, you deserve to smile more than I do..." said Severus.

"Now you know that isn't true" said Remus as the carriage began to trundle its way towards the village of Hogsmeade.

"Now you know it is" said Severus. "You're always doing things for me, please let me do some things for you" he added with a smile. "You can choose what I do if you like"

"I can choose?" Remus smirked playfully, a thoughtful expression crossed his face. "Hmm... let's see..."

Severus couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.

"Well there is one thing I would really like..." Remus said quietly.

"What's what?" Severus asked.

"But I don't think you'll want to do it"

"Tell me what it is" Severus smiled hopefully noticing that Remus' cheeks were glowing slightly with embarrassment and he was tensing up a little bit. What could this be?

Remus remained quiet for a few moments. "It's kind of embarrassing..."

"So? Please just tell me, Remus" Severus' eyes twinkled with curiosity.

Remus sighed before closing his eyes and mumbling something under his breath.

"I didn't catch that..."

Remus hesitated a moment, his cheeks turning a startling shade of cherry red. "I'd really like it if you rimmed me sometime... you know... lick my arse?" he clapped his hands over his bright red face trying to hide his shame, the blood was beating to the very tips of his ears.

Severus blushed a little himself and looked away shyly just for a moment before taking Remus' hands and lifting them away from his face forcing the boy to look him straight in the eye. "Okay" Severus smiled. "I'll do it, sounds like fun but where did you get that idea from?" he asked confusedly.

"Just always something I had in the back of my mind, been thinking about it and I know it's supposed to be pleasurable from what I've read about it" Remus explained.

"I'm up for it" Severus smiled. They smiled to one another as the carriage finally came to a stop at the Hogsmeade gates. They got out quickly and Severus inhaled the crisp, cool January air. "This is my first trip out since before..." Severus trailed off as he felt Remus fingers slipping between his own.

"Is that good?" Remus asked tentatively.

"Yes" Severus smiled. "I needed this, I need to come out and enjoy myself with you and you need to get out of the castle too"

"Well let's make the most of today, as I've said before, things can only go up, we're safe, James and that lot can't come here because they're still on a ban so we don't even have to be remotely afraid of bumping into them" Remus grinned.

They headed through into the village walking casually hand in hand alone the cobbled pathway towards the bookshop a way down past the pubs. The village was like a little scene, in some ways it didn't even look real, it was so small and pretty but at its best around Christmas time when all the decorations were up and it looked like the image from a Christmas card.

"I forgot how much I like it here" Severus commented as they continued along down the path.

"I always enjoyed it" Remus smiled. "I'm glad we could come here together, hey here we are" he nodded towards the bookshop.

They headed inside a small bell tinkled overhead alerting the cashier to their arrival. He was a young man, probably in his twenties lounging at the till flipping lazily through a _Quidditch and You _magazine, he glanced up briefly at them seemingly taking absolutely no interest before returning his attention back onto his reading.

Remus followed Severus through the shop winding through the shelves they stopped at the spell books. Remus watched as Severus scanned the shelves and picked up a thick leather bound book entitled _A-Z of Practical Spells and enchantments. _

"Nice choice"

Severus looked up and smiled briefly as he flipped through the heavy book. "Expecting something a little darker?" he chuckled teasingly.

Remus flushed a little. "Perhaps"

"Don't worry I may enjoy the beauty of the dark arts but I'm not going to start putting vicious curses on people... well at least not people I care about" Severus pecked Remus softly on the cheek.

Remus just smiled. "Well I can't say I think it's a brilliant idea to curse people in such a dangerous way, perhaps normal hexes are sufficient? But it's your choice I still love you"

"Most people hate the dark arts" Severus began. "But they just don't understand them, yes they are dangerous, powerful and mostly used to harm or even kill people however when under control and used properly they are incredibly beautiful and useful" he spoke with a soft caress to his voice. "It takes a very powerful Witch or Wizard to perform them safely and correctly as you can lose control of them so easily, and it does also depend on the wand for example, unicorn tail hair is the most difficult core to turn to the dark arts"

Remus quirked an eyebrow. Severus really did know his stuff. "I didn't even know that..."

Severus chuckled. "They don't actually teach us all that much about the real uses of the dark arts spells in school, not at all, since I was younger I used to read books of my mother's on the dark arts, I read through her old school books she gave me when I was about seven so I always knew some of the basics even if I didn't get a wand until I was eleven, like most kids I used to practice with what I could using the flames of the fire, blades of grass, leaves and making things move without touching them, I practiced a lot and the Ministry couldn't do anything because I was just a little kid and I couldn't always control my magic like when I accidentally broke a branch and it hit Lily's sister Petunia's shoulder and hurt her, she accused me of trying to kill her but nobody believed I made the branch fall like that I was too small to physically break it and the only person who saw was a little old lady who lived at the end of the road, she just said the branch had snapped and fallen that I hadn't even touched it" he added with a smirk. "I never really liked her to be honest" he sighed.

"Sev you're talking so much" Remus laughed.

"Oh, sorry" Severus flushed a little as he cringed. "I didn't mean to..."

"No actually I like it" Remus smiled. "It's nice to see you so comfortable and chatty, I mean, you're usually quite chatty but not this much"

"Well I just get carried away sometimes, if someone was to talk to me about you I would never shut up" Severus blushed again.

"Aww that's so sweet" Remus smiled pulling the boy carefully into his arms.

"I love you, Remus"

"I love you too, Severus" Remus smiled warmly, he leaned down and kissed his little Slytherin on the lips before they continued picking through the shelves and selecting a few more interesting reads.

They paid the lazy shop keeper and headed back outside into the cold, Severus clutching a handled paper bag with his new books.

"Where to now?" Severus asked.

"Uhh Honeydukes? I fancy some chocolate" Remus grinned. "Then we can go get a drink and then off to the supplies before we go home again, dinner, bath and bed?"

Severus raised his eyebrows with surprise, Remus had this all figured out. "Sounds good!"

They headed to the sweet shop talking and laughing merrily ignoring the usual stares they got from people. Remus was pleased to see how Severus was coping so well with this and how much he seemed to be enjoying himself after everything that had happened even after receiving that letter that frankly Remus expected to set Severus back a little today but he just kept on ploughing right through everything.

After Honeydukes they went to the Three Broomsticks where they had two rounds of Butterbeer before heading off to the supplies shop where they picked up some new ink, parchment, jotter books, quills and a few other general school supplies. They headed off to the robe shop to pick up some new underwear before they made their way back through the pleasant little village to the carriages again.

Remus sighed as he slumped into a seat in the carriage snapping the door shut behind them, he draped an arm around Severus' shoulders and smiled happily. "Today has been great we've been out a lot longer than expected though..."

"That's okay" Severus said. "We lost track of time because we were having so much fun" he added with a smile.

"I'm getting really hungry now though" Remus yawned loudly.

"And sleepy by the looks of things" Severus smirked.

When the carriage arrived back at the castle, the two boys hurried inside, the temperature had dropped and no doubt there would be another bitter frost tonight. Hurrying inside they made their way straight to the great hall dropping into their seats at the Slytherin table amongst their friends.

"Alright?" Mulciber grinned watching them pile their plates with food.

"Yeah we had a great day" Severus smiled turning his eyes back on his food so he didn't notice Mulciber and Avery exchange glances nodding down at Severus covered arms.

"Oh good so you've been feeling okay recently...?" Avery asked warily.

"Yup"

"No urges of pain?" it was Evan whom was promptly elbowed in the ribs thanks to Mulciber.

Remus flashed them a confused look. He locked eyes with the three of them in turn and frowned. "What?" he mouthed.

The three of them looked between one another before Mulciber mouthed back "Tell you later"

Remus nodded and turned to smile at Severus.

They ate quickly and headed back to the dormitory dropping off their bags before Remus drew a warm bubble bath and they stripped off clambering into the large wash pool.

"That feels good" Severus sighed relaxing into the warm, deep water.

"I've had a really nice day" Remus yawned lounging back in the soapy water. "We need to get out more I think it's done us both some good"

"I agree, we'll be going out properly, as in right away from the castle down to London on the twenty fifth..." Severus pointed out. "Although I'm not so sure it will be a particularly amusing trip"

"I know it's based on a sad event and it will be difficult for you but we can still try and make the most of it, have you ever been to the Ministry before?" Remus asked with one of his usual smiles.

"Nope" said Severus leaning his head on the werewolf's shoulder. "I'd always wanted to though, my mum said she's been twice when she was alive and she told me it was really nice there, they have this fountain they collect money and the proceeds go to St Mungo's hospital, what about you, have you ever been?"

Remus chuckled. "No but my dad works there, mum used to work there but she left when she had me" he said. "Hasn't really worked since she stays at home all the time, dad works enough to keep us going, fed, clothed and such so we live quite comfortably, we don't really need to buy all that much food because... well… you'll see when you arrive in the summer" he chuckled.

"Now you've got me really curious, I have to wait until June to find out what your house is like?" Severus almost whined.

"Yup" Remus grinned. "That just makes it all the more fun when you finally meet my family and see my house, I hope you like it, I think you will"

"I know I will" Severus smiled. "But I reckon you'll probably have to come with me back to my shit hole"

"You mean your parent's house?"

Severus nodded quickly. "I think I've probably told you about it before"

"You have and I guess seeing the place they died is worse than just going back to it for a quick visit" Remus said quietly.

"Yes, but I think I'll try and make it into something good" said Severus. "I hate being so down and easily hurt about things, I tend to panic and shut myself off from society and make myself lonely, I used to crave having proper friends and a relationship but at the same time I was scared I'd get hurt but now I have both and I'm so happy, I've never been this happy in my life and I'll never leave you, Remus" Severus finished with a smile.

"I'll never leave you either, Severus" Remus breathed leaning down for a kiss.

They lay back in the warm water for a while soaking, washed their hair, their bodies and splashed around playing for a while before drying, dressing and heading back into the dormitory quite happy.

They climbed into bed snuggling down behind the curtain together gazing at one another lovingly.

"Remus?"

"Mm?"

"I want to get really fucking stoned with you" Severus said quietly.

Remus jumped a little completely unprepared for a question like that. "Huh?" he blinked, perhaps he hadn't heard right.

Severus blushed, thanking the dim lighting for hiding it before he continued on fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. "I mean... not tonight of course and it doesn't have to be any time soon but I'd like to get high with you... if you want to of course, you can say no or think about it if you think it's a bad idea"

Remus stared dumbfounded by this, a silence passed quickly before he said anything. "You haven't been taking drugs again have you?" he asked worriedly keeping his voice down so nobody else could hear.

"No, no I haven't" Severus said quickly his eyes widening with worry. "You know I wouldn't do that when I made a promise to you, I'd never break it I SWEAR I haven't"

"It's okay I believe you" Remus smiled. "Don't get so worked up it's cool"

"Good" said Severus.

"So why do you want to get high with me, like you actually want me to smoke stuff with you?" Remus quirked an eyebrow playfully much to Severus surprise.

Severus nodded shyly. "I don't want to escape from anything bad or do it for any of the reasons I used to, I've still got quite a lot of it with me and I may as well use it, we could maybe invite the other's along too and make a thing of it, just for fun, I know drugs are meant to be bad but one time can't and won't hurt, okay?"

Remus was quiet for a moment before he nodded. "Okay, so we'll be smoking..."

"Pot"

"Okay" Remus nodded slowly again as though trying to comprehend this whole situation. "Yeah I'll give it a go" he smiled. "What's it like?"

"Just makes you really happy and relaxed, everything feels good and you just wanna sit there and do stuff, depends on how it affects you, but on the come down it can make you kinda sad depending on you again" Severus explained. "It's fun though, really fun"

"We'll have to give it a go when the weather gets a little warmer" Remus smiled.

"Great" Severus grinned.

"So what's so great about being high anyway?" Remus asked curiously. "I've seen you high before but I never really understood the appeal much"

"It makes you really relaxed, happy, you feel good, all your worries disappear, everything is amusing and stuff, feels really good and it's fun" Severus said. "I think you'd like it, and it acts as a natural pain relief"

"It's a little scary" Remus said nervously.

Severus chuckled. "I guess it is if it's your first time but other than that it's great" he smiled. "You'll be fine I'll look after you"

"Good" Remus breathed curling further up against his boyfriend entangling their legs under the coves. "Wanna sleep?"

Severus nodded kissing Remus tenderly on the lips. "I love you so much"

"I love you too, Severus" Remus smiled pulling his lover in for one last kiss.

It wasn't long before they were fast asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning they woke late, Severus went into the bathroom after Remus whilst the boy got dressed. As soon as the bathroom door shut, Mulciber, Avery and Rosier approached.

"Remus?" it was Mulciber.

Remus pulled his hoodie over his head and smiled nervously. "Hi" he hoped this wasn't some sort of fight.

"Listen we've got something we've been meaning to talk to you about" the taller boy said hesitantly glancing to Avery and Evan for some support. Remus stared at them in confusion.

"Go on"

"On Severus' birthday we kind of noticed something..." Avery began.

Remus frowned feeling even more confused by this behaviour. "What?" he blinked.

Mulciber pursed his lips, Avery sank his teeth into his bottom lip and Evan stepped forward a little.

"He's got scars up his arms from what looked like self harming" he said quickly.

Remus' face rapidly washed with a range of different emotions, shock, concern, fear, worry, sadness, anger and a small amount of relief. He didn't want to drop Severus in it but he also didn't want to leave them in the dark so he chose to remain silent for now.

"We just wanted to know if he has actually been cutting" Avery said trying to keep the conversation going. "You know we'd never take the piss or anything..."

"I know" Remus said slowly. "But the thing is-"

He was cut off by the bathroom door opening again, the other three turned their heads sharply to stare at Severus, very guilty, worried expressions on their faces. Severus stopped looking between them all seemingly very self-conscious.

"Talking about me?"

The three of them exchanged worried looks, Remus held out his arms to Severus. The Slytherin made his way over and took Remus' embrace still eying the other's warily. Something was going on and he could just feel it.

"Actually yes we were" Remus murmured into his ear.

"Why?"

"They noticed your scars last week, babe" Remus whispered.

Severus' dark eyes widened, he tensed up and his breathing sped up. Remus could feel him clenching into his own body and he was getting worried about what Severus might do now.

"How?" Severus' voice was low and shaky.

"I don't know"

Slowly Severus drew back enough to look up into Remus' face. "Did you tell them anything?" he breathed but Remus just shook his head and smiled.

Severus nodded once with understanding and turned his attention on the other three whom were standing waiting for him to say something. "You saw?"

They nodded slowly.

Severus sighed deeply and closed his eyes in a long slow blink.

"Severus are they... what we think they are?" Mulciber asked calmly.

"What do you think they are?" Severus asked.

"They look like self-harming"

Severus tensed up a little, they were his friends and after everything they had been through together, everything they had done for him even going as far as to accept Remus and torment the three Marauders over this, he owed them something even just a simple explanation was better than nothing...

"That's because they are" he said quietly.

"Severus-"

Mulciber was cut off by Severus shaking his head.

"I know I'm an idiot but you deserve an explanation and to start off with, no I am not still cutting myself and haven't been since Remus started to help me a few weeks before everything went wrong" he began. "I'd been self-harming for quite a while and it was what at the time I thought to be helping me, it would relieve the emotional pain I was in and replace it with temporary physical pain, I did it a lot and I'm covered in scars, I'm ashamed of myself for doing it now but at the time I didn't care how awful it looked or disgusting it made me because I didn't know any better to be honest"

Remus' arms wrapped tighter around Severus pulling him closer against him for support.

"You don't owe us anything, Severus, we were just worried when we saw them" Avery said quietly. "We had no idea things were as bad as they were because you were so good at hiding it otherwise we'd have helped you, bro's to the end and all that shite ya know?" Mulciber replied with a smirk.

Severus laughed. "I know and thanks a lot I appreciate it"

They said nothing more about the self-harming, dressed properly and headed down to breakfast as a group. The main hall seemed busier today but probably only because it was Sunday and they'd gotten up a little later (everybody would tend to sleep in more on Sunday's)

For the rest of the day they spent it relaxing, doing homework in the library and reading through Severus' new books, even practising a few of the simpler charms there. They went to bed early that night feeling slightly nervous about tomorrow...

On Monday morning at breakfast, the two boys ate amongst the usual crowd of Slytherin boys (and the odd few girls whom they did not speak to) afterwards they headed off to potions as discreetly as possible not wanting to gain too much attention as per usual.

"Eight days" said Severus as they stood waiting to be let into their classroom.

"Until the reading of the will?"

Snape nodded. "I feel very optimistic about it to be honest, I also feel like I've gained some new responsibility"

"What do you mean?"

"I own a house, I have a little bit of money, I have furniture and belongings, I own them, actually own them, nobody else does" he breathed. "It's so strange... I don't know what to do with the house, it's been paid off clearly or it couldn't be left in the will my parents have lived there for years but I know I don't want to live there again, at least not for a very long time" Severus said.

"I support you" Remus graced warmly. "Still coming to live with me and my family?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world" Severus breathed.

Professor Slughorn arrived to let them in, as they made their way inside and sat down they earned some unprovoked, usual nasty glares from the three remaining Marauders. They paid them no attention, they wouldn't show them they were afraid, worried or even remotely bothered by their presence, no, Severus was going to be strong.

It was hard, harder than anyone could imagine when after trying to commit suicide in a room full of students and a teacher, after being beaten, abused and defiled with urine, after everything Severus went through to come and face the people who made him want to end his life and even attempt to do so was extremely hard, he had no other choice unless he wanted to drop out of school and be a failure at life and probably end up committing suicide for real this time. He was going to stay, make Remus proud and try to enjoy himself the way Remus told him he deserved, Remus made him extremely happy and he wasn't about to give that up for anything, he loved the werewolf so much he was Severus' world!

As they sat down, Remus stared at Severus. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah just thinking"

"About what?"

"You" Severus grinned.

"Me?" Remus smirked his blue eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"Just about how much I love you, respect you and care for you" Severus mused. "That okay?"

Remus blushed a little, Severus was saying these things in such a public setting, it wasn't that he didn't like it, on the contrary! He LOVED it, he just wasn't used to it yet. "It's brilliant"

The two boys gazed at one another ignoring the burning foul glares that were strong enough to practically burn holes in their skin, Remus pecked Severus on his temple before they got to work.

Monday went by surprisingly well, no trouble from anyone apart from a few of the younger students glaring at them and whispering, a seventh year walking past shouting queers at them and the Marauder's and their usual dirty looks. After the punishment's they had received, the pain they had gone through and the fact they were still under Professor McGonagall's threats, they weren't about to try anything dodgy too soon.

The rest of the week passed in pretty much the same fashion and on Friday night during a nice hot bath, Severus decided it was time they really got playful and enjoyed their weekend.

"Mm" Severus moaned softly climbing into Remus' lap to straddle him under the nice warm, soapy water. His arms slipped around the back of Remus' neck as he brought their lips together in a tender, passionate kiss.

"Someone's feeling playful tonight" Remus smirked his hands sliding down Severus' back to round and cup his bottom gently.

"I feel playful and horny quite often, I'm a teenager" Severus chuckled sinking his teeth into Remus' bottom lip. "My sex drive has been increasing the better I've been feeling" he admitted with a light blush across his whole face.

"You have no idea how much that turns me on" Remus groaned. "I'm always horny"

"And you aren't ashamed to admit it" Severus grinned.

"Nope" Remus laughed. "So come on then, let's play!"

Severus moaned softly as he settled into Remus' lap allowing the boy to massage his bottom as they kissed. He moved his lips kissing his way along the boy's jaw and down onto his neck suckling lightly at the pulse point.

"Gods I love it when you're all soapy" Remus panted.

"Wait until we get going, there will be an all new meaning to bath time fun" Severus spoke huskily.

Remus moaned again as Severus' hands made their way down his body plucking at his nipples before tickling down his stomach and towards his crotch. The werewolf moaned and spread them further as he felt Severus' fingers curl around the head of his erection giving it a few tentative strokes making him moan.

"Feels good"

"Does it? How would you like me to suck it?" Severus breathed nipping at Remus' sensitive ear lobe.

"Yeah I'd love to put it in your mouth" Remus breathed. "So intimate"

Severus groaned softly biting his bottom lip. "Get on your knees on the ledge..."

Remus wasted no time in following orders, moments after he climbed up, Severus delved down to where Remus' erection was protruding above the water and engulfed it in his mouth earning a very loud moan of pleasure from Remus.

Over an hour had passed before the boys finally came out of the bathroom, flushed and giddy with pleasure after having a great time. They fell into bed curling around one another.

"Now that was great" Severus grinned. "I've never blown or been blown like that before"

"Mm and when you had two fingers in my prostate and your tongue on my cock was incredible, I saw stars, you had me shaking and you kept going after I came" Remus practically moaned, his eyes were a little hazy and half lidded, Severus had worn him out after all that oral play.

"I love your facial expressions when I pleasure you" Severus smirked. "We still need to do that rimming"

"Mm" Remus groaned. "I can't wait for that, surprise me with it, that just makes it hotter"

"And hornier" Severus smirked. "Like the taste of your warm spunk"

Remus smiled pulling him in for a tender kiss. "I love you so much"

"I love you too" Severus grinned.

The rest of the weekend flew by in a breeze, everything seemed so much easier, when Monday arrived it was the day before the reading and Severus was beginning to feel a little anxious.

They were sitting in Potions that morning when at the end of the lesson Professor Slughorn spoke to them.

"Boys could I speak with you after the lesson please?" he asked as he headed back to the front table.

"Yeah" Remus said, he knew what this would be about.

They waited until the rest of the class had filed out before packing their things away and heading over to the teacher's desk.

"Right then my boys" he said rubbing his hands together. "We'll be leaving for the Ministry at eight, you can apparate if accompanied by a teacher so I will be personally escorting you there, we need to be there in plenty of time as the Ministry can be unreliable" Slughorn explained.

"Okay"

"So have something to eat and meet me in the entrance hall at eight and we'll head out of the grounds, take the carriage into Hogsmeade and apparate from there, I have permission to apparate with you seeing as you are underage"

"Thank you, Professor" Severus smiled nervously.

"Are you okay about tomorrow?" the teacher asked turning his eyes on Severus.

"Nervous but okay"

"Why are you nervous?" Slughorn asked confusedly as Remus took his boyfriend gently by the hand.

"Never been there before, they're reading my parent's will and stuff" Severus said quickly swallowing the lump that appeared in his throat. He hoped he would be feeling better by tonight. "I think just the general waiting is what's making me nervous because I don't really know what to expect it seems so official and worrying"

"Like you're being called in for doing something wrong?" it was Remus.

Severus nodded. "Exactly like that"

"But Severus there is no need to worry you haven't done anything wrong" Slughorn almost laughed.

"I know I haven't but it's about my parents and even if they didn't love me and they were bad to me I still feel hurt over their deaths I'm worried it might get a bit much for me..." Severus mumbled.

"I'll be with you" Remus spoke softly. "You know you'll always have me for support, they'll understand you're going to be upset and this is a delicate matter"

"Remus makes an excellent point, Severus, they aren't going to go about this in a difficult or intimidating way especially at your age and given the fact these are both of your parents they will be nice to you" Professor Slughorn smiled.

Severus swallowed again and nodded slowly. "Thanks again"

"Very well I will see you both tomorrow morning at eight"

They said their goodbye's and left, Severus breathed a long sigh of relief outside the classroom and fell into Remus' arms. "I am really not looking forward to tomorrow" he sighed fiddling with the front of Remus' Gryffindor tie.

"You will be fine, I promise, and hey when I say it's going to be okay it's..."

"Going to be okay" Severus finished with a smile. "Always"

"Always" Remus breathed pulling Severus in for a hot kiss right then and there in the corridor.

They sat in Transfiguration taking notes and holding hands under the table, when it came to practise the charms, Severus really took off with his work today even Professor McGonagall was surprised at just how good he was.

At lunch time they ate quickly and went for a refreshing walk in the grounds to help clear Severus' head. Remus couldn't deny that he was worried about him the last thing he wanted was for Severus to crumble and break down in front of people or during the reading. He knew that Severus was worried for himself, not for being upset but he would be ashamed of himself if he did that, he knew Severus would be more worried about making a fool or a spectacle of himself rather than actually feeling hurt.

"I'm feeling happier now, sorry for being down today" Severus said looking up at Remus as they stopped near the cold lake.

"Don't be sorry I completely understand, I couldn't begin to imagine how you've felt these past few months but I do understand even if I haven't had my own personal time with it I have been with you and gone through it like that" Remus said. "I'll help you, you know that so please don't be afraid or worried about what might happen because what might and what has are two very different things, much different than you know right now" Remus smiled.

"I know what you mean I just... struggle to come to terms with it" said Severus.

The two boys stood kissing for quite a while until it became too cold to stand outside any longer. They headed back into the castle and off to their afternoon lessons.

By the time they had dinner and settled into bed that night, Severus was becoming very apprehensive about the next morning.

"Hey Severus" it was Mulciber. "Have you got that trip to the Ministry tomorrow?"

Severus nodded slowly. "Yeah, the reading"

"Good luck you'll be fine mate" he smiled supportively.

"Thanks a lot"

"Lupin are you going with him?"

Remus nodded.

"Not gonna be in lessons tomorrow then?" Mulciber said.

"Probably not unless we're back early and Severus is okay" Remus smiled weakly.

"Hope it all goes well for you" Evan called from across the room.

"Yeah well I think it's best we have an early night" Severus mumbled slipping beneath his covers and snuggling up to Remus closing his eyes.

"Night everyone" Remus called before closing the curtains on their unanimous 'goodnight' and falling under with Severus. He lay awake for a while watching Severus sleep, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the Slytherin because this nightmare just wasn't going away….

By the time Remus woke the next morning, Severus was sleeping soundly. It was little before seven in the morning, he yawned, stretched out and cuddled up to his lover, he'd have to wake Severus soon so they could get ready.

"Severus time to get up" Remus said quietly giving his boyfriend a gentle shake. "Severus"

He watched as those familiar dark eyes opened and Severus gazed sleepily up into his face. "Ngh?"

"Time to wake up now" Remus smiled.

Severus sighed and closed his eyes stretching himself beneath his covers.

"You feeling alright?" Remus asked gently brushing Severus' long stray black hairs from his face.

"Not too bad I'm sleepy" Severus mumbled.

"Okay, we should probably get dressed now though" said Remus.

"Yeah and get something to eat so we aren't late to meet Professor Slughorn" Severus replied.

Remus pulled him in for a soft kiss before they climbed out of bed, opening the curtains, they began dressing quickly and washed up by the time the other's were awake.

"You're up early" Avery yawned.

"Yeah up early, out early, maybe back early" Remus said pulling on his Gryffindor cloak, they'd decided to go dressed in school uniform thinking it would look smarter and just be more appropriate for the occasion.

"Alright, good luck see you later on guys" Evan called.

"Bye" they said taking hands and leaving the dormitory, they passed the common room and through the entrance hall in silence both feeling apprehensive and wary even though it would be nice to go somewhere for the day this wasn't really the ideal situation for a day trip to London during school hours.

They sat down and ate very little in the great hall, Severus ate two slices of buttered toast and drank a goblet of juice, Remus did pretty much the same, it wasn't even his parent's will and he felt scared, scared for his boyfriend mainly.

At five to eight they made their way over to the entrance hall doors and stood waiting hand in hand. They weren't there for more than about two minutes before Professor Slughorn arrived in his usual robes, his lips set in a grim line.

"Good morning" he greeted stopping in front of them.

"Morning" they said.

"Have you got your letter? Everything you need?" he asked glancing to a nervous-looking Severus.

"Yes" Severus smiled weakly patting his pocket. "I'm ready to go" he said squeezing Remus' hand.

"Very well we'll be taking the carriages there should be one waiting outside for us now" Slughorn replied quickly checking the time on his watch before pocketing it again. He nodded towards the main doors and the boys followed him out still holding hands. They all walked in silence, Remus and Severus exchanging glances as they approached the carriage, hopping inside after their teacher whom snapped the door shut they waited only for a few seconds before it began to trundle towards the village of Hogsmeade.

"You can talk, boys, I don't expect you to sit in silence all day" Slughorn chuckled checking off some things on a short piece of parchment he was holding. Snapping his fingers it vanished into thin air once again.

Remus shifted closer to Severus snaking his arm around the boy's waist. "We're quiet because we're nervous and don't know what to say"

"Understandable but I thought you may at least converse about it a little on the journey" Slughorn replied peering out of the window at the scenery going past.

"Mm well we'll be there in a few minutes anyway" said Remus.

"What does it feel like to apparate?" Severus asked curiously.

"Now I will warn you, you may both vomit seeing as it will be your first time" Slughorn began. "But not to worry, you will feel like you're being pulled here and there but honestly it happens so quickly you won't have time to think about what's happening, you'll disappear and reappear in a different spot like that!" he snapped his fingers.

"Okay" Severus swallowed nervously.

They arrived in Hogsmeade only a few minutes later, getting out of the carriage they followed their Professor through the village a little way out onto the back street where Professor Slughorn held out both arms.

"I want each of you to clasp my arm and I will apparate when you are both on" he instructed.

Severus and Remus looked to one another and swallowed nervously. They nodded very slowly and hesitantly lifted their hands.

"One…. Two... three!"

Remus and Severus grasped Slughorn's arm and were instantly snatched from the ground, whirling and racing and thrashing but still all the same. Moments later they hit the ground staggering and falling to the floor both feeling nauseous and dizzy.

"We're here boys!" Slughorn called out in his usual bright voice.

Slowly Remus staggered to his feet holding out his arm and pulling Severus with him. "You okay?"

Severus smiled. "I feel okay, you?"

"I'm fine" Remus chuckled and for the first time, glanced around him.

"I'm surprised neither of you vomited" Slughorn chuckled seemingly rather amused by this. "This is the entrance to the Ministry!"

They looked around, they were in a rather busy hallway-like place, a dull green glow to the dark marble work all around the apparent high, wide tunnel which led to a larger much more open room at the far end. As they began walking the boys clasped hands as usual and jumped slightly every time a Witch or Wizard appeared with a flare in a fireplace along the walls.

"This is so cool" Remus grinned as they continued on down the path following Professor Slughorn.

"I know it was hard to imagine this place but it certainly wasn't the vague thing I had in mind" Severus replied.

They headed into the open space, Witches and Wizards bustling around talking, conversing with one another, sitting by the enormous fountain area in the centre with a sign donating to St Mungo's hospital any money that was thrown into the water. Many were reading scrolls that trailed along the floor, hand their wands out, levitating random items along beside them and some even carried smoking crates. Severus squeezed Remus' hand and nodded up above them, hundreds of what appeared to be birds were zooming around the ceiling off down different corridors, into lifts or directing to people working there. On closer inspection they realised they were paper birds, memos in fact.

"Right then I believe we have to get you both marked in with a quick wand weighing then head up to the second floor and find out where the reading will take place" Slughorn began rubbing his hands together eagerly. He seemed to enjoy being away from the castle for a little while too.

They followed him off to the right staying by his side hand in hand as they made their way down a corridor to the right, they walked for a few minutes until they reached a man standing by a peculiar device, he wasn't really paying much attention to anything that was going on around him and Slughorn had to clear his throat twice to gain his attention.

"We're here for the Wizengamot, floor two Magical Law Enforcement, Remus Lupin and Severus Snape for a will reading this morning at ten" Slughorn said in an authority's voice.

"Alright, I need all of your wands one at a time" said the man. Slughorn handed over his wand first, the worker read out the length and core before handing it back and placing a piece of parchment in a basket to the side. Next he took Remus', repeated the same and then with Severus.

Five minutes later and they were heading back to the main room.

"Right now that is done we'll go and have a look upstairs" said the Professor.

As they started walking towards the lift over the other side of the room, Slughorn decided to make some conversation.

"Are you alright now, Severus? You aren't feeling too nervous are you?"

"No surprisingly I feel pretty good" the Slytherin replied. "Maybe it's because I'm here and we've got time until the appointment I can just relax now that things are going smoothly so far" he added with a shrug.

"That's a good thing, Severus" Remus smiled.

"I know" Severus smiled shifting closer to Remus gazing up into his face.

"It's better not to think about it too much so you can't upset yourself" said Slughorn as they entered the lift, there were two other people in there, a Witch and a Wizard with his beard thrown over his shoulder.

They rode the floors up until finally they reached the second, leaving the busy lift they headed along the corridor passing offices, open rooms and people standing discussing problems.

A minute later and four Auror' seemed to rush past shouting urgently at one another.

"I bet it's hectic working here" Remus commented as they passed another open office where a Wizard was having difficulty opening a rather malicious looking box that seemed to be growling at him.

"I can't remove it, we'll have to get someone from the animal department down I haven't the faintest what's in here!" They heard the man call out as they passed.

They stopped outside a door at the end of the corridor, Slughorn slipped through telling them to wait there a moment. They weren't there long before he reappeared with a smile on his face.

"We have about an hour before we need to come back, the woman on the desk says we could have a tour around the Ministry or hang about and wait" he said.

"I guess we could go and have a look round" said Severus. "Would be silly to waste the opportunity"

"Great" Remus grinned excitedly. "My dad works here somewhere"

"Oh?"

"We might see him" Remus chuckled. "I don't know though because he's really busy most of the time..." he sighed. "If we don't we don't we'll see him in the summer anyway"

"Do you look like your dad?" Severus asked as they started walking back along the corridor.

"Kind of but I'm a lot more like my mum" said Remus. "I have my dad's skin and his eyes"

Severus chuckled and opened his mouth to say something when an enormous bang to their left in one of the open rooms caught their attention. They stopped and stared as a large number of what appeared to be very enormous chicken's came charging out of the room and off down the corridor. A man and two women came running after them shouting, their wands raised to deal with the problem.

"Yes we've also got a suction toilet in the train station, Kings Cross yes" said a man as he walked past them, a small woman by his side.

"I'll go and see to it now then" she replied.

"Well they're never out of things to do here" said Severus.

Slughorn laughed. "They most certainly are not, in my youth I worked here for a few years it was a good job but very tiring and sometimes dangerous, you'd come to work expecting a normal day at the office and catastrophe happened"

"Where did you work, sir?" Remus asked curiously as they headed back into the empty lift.

"I worked for the Wizengamot actually, I used to sit in on court hearings and note everything down" said the teacher. "It was a very interesting job but sometimes things would go wrong and I wasn't treated to the same standards as the witches and wizards whom worked in there were above me, higher standards, better paid, better jobs but I enjoyed it and was promoted a couple of times but I put my passion into teaching" he added. "So do either of you two know what you want to do?"

Severus and Remus exchanged looks.

"Not yet" said Severus.

"I just want to be happy" Remus said quietly, he knew he would seriously struggle to amount to anything so he didn't even want to choose what he'd like to be.

Slughorn eyed them both suspiciously but nodded with understanding. "It's alright not to know what you want to be at your age you're still teenagers you should be enjoying yourselves and being with each other especially after everything Severus has been through these past few months"

"We plan to" it was Severus.

They toured the Ministry, all floors until ten to ten. They'd talked to a few Wizards whom recognised Professor Slughorn.

They were passing along the corridor about to get in the lift when a voice called to them.

"Remus?"

Remus whirled around his face spreading into an enormous grin. "Dad!"

Severus turned and saw a man of about average height, brown hair and a smile on his face hurrying towards them. He stopped looking from Professor Slughorn to Remus and finally to Severus his eyes dropping to where their hands were linked.

"Dad this is Severus" Remus explained quickly draping his arm around Severus' lower back and pushing him forward a little.

Remus' father held out his hand and smiled. "Pleasure to meet you, Severus, my name is John Lupin"

Severus took his hand very nervously shaking a little and staring up into his face. Remus was right he didn't particularly resemble his dad much apart from his complexion and his blue eyes, the way they both stood and their build was similar but Remus was lighter and smaller.

"It's nice-nice to meet you too, sir" Severus stammered nervously.

Remus' dad laughed and released his grip. "You can call me John, it's nice to meet you, Remus talks about you all the time in his letters"

Severus flushed and glanced to Remus whom was standing grinning excitedly.

"I am terribly sorry about what you've been through I hope you're feeling better" John said his eyebrows creased with a frown of concern.

"Oh said Severus. "It's fine, thank you" he smiled nervously.

John's eyes flickered a moment before he quickly changed the subject. "You're here for the reading this morning, aren't you?"

"Yes but how-"

"Remus told me about it in his letter" the man smiled gently. "It sounds like some good news"

Remus looked at his dad, a cool stare in his eyes warning his dad to stop. "So how's mum?"

John seemed to take a hint and smiled again. "She's absolutely fine, she misses you a lot she's always in your room keeping everything nice for when both of you come home" he glanced up.

Severus looked up, Remus' dad had really called it home for both of them? That was so nice.

"Aww" Remus laughed. "Tell her I really miss her"

"I will don't worry and she really misses you too, she's looking forward to meeting Severus as well" said Mister Lupin turning his attention back to Severus watching the boy blush furiously.

"I look forward to meeting her too" he smiled. "Thank you for being so kind to me" he said nervously.

Remus couldn't help but smile, he could see Severus was really nervous but he was doing so well especially seeing as this was the first time he was meeting Remus' dad and how self-conscious he was about pretty much everything.

"You're very welcome" Mister Lupin smiled. "I had better be going back to work, if my boss catches me-"

"Ah, John Lupin!"

Mister Lupin turned around a rather worried expression on his face. Severus shifted a little closer to Remus out of pure nerves.

The smaller, slightly pompous man approached them a rather large smile on his face, his hands were clasped behind his back, his jet black hair greased to his head. Behind him were two other employees, a woman with long blonde hair that looked thoroughly bored and a man with scruffy brown hair and shabby robes whom was holding a piece of parchment and a quick-quotes-quill hovering above it.

"Mr Daniels" John nodded stiffly.

"Away from your desk this morning, John? On a break?" the man asked rather cheerily, his voice rang in an irritating, hanging way and Severus instantly picked up on why Mister Lupin appeared hostile with him.

"Actually I was on my way to speak with someone in the Auror's office, we've had quite a few reports come in recently and they needed fresh updates, nothing serious or urgent though" said John calmly.

"Very good" the man smiled his dark eyes flickering to Remus, Severus and Professor Slughorn a moment. "I dare say, who are these young students?"

Mister Lupin turned to them and his face softened instantly. "This is my son, Remus" John said proudly resting his hand on Remus' much lower shoulder. Remus smiled sheepishly and tried to avoid eye contact with his father's boss.

"Nice to meet you young man" he held out his hand which Remus shook nervously.

"And this is his boyfriend, Severus" said John.

The boys watched as the man's eyebrows disappeared in his hairline, he glanced very briefly to Mister Lupin whom looked perfectly calm and happy.

"My pleasure" he said offering his hand for Severus to take.

"And this is their teacher, Professor Slughorn, they're hear for a reading today and should really be off in a minute or so" John said quickly checking his watch.

The boys watched the man shake hands with their teacher and he nodded slowly. "I see, I will see you in the staff meeting later, John" he said his eyes turning back on the three others. "Boys, Professor" he nodded before turning and walking off chatting rapidly to his two followers, the man's quill taking constant notes.

Mister Lupin sighed and turned back to the boy's. "You're going to be late if you don't head off now, it was really nice to see you, Remus I hope you've been alright" his eyes flashed a little and even Severus could understand what he was talking about, the Lycanthropy.

"I'm fine dad, you can see I'm okay" he smiled brightly.

John nodded. "I'm pleased, to hear that, we really worry about you" his brows furrowed slightly.

"Don't I'm fine, besides, Severus has been taking good care of me" Remus grinned excitedly turning his attention on the dark haired boy standing next to him.

John smiled and nodded to his son, he offered his hand to Severus shaking it again and resting a hand on his shoulder. "My wife and I look forward to meeting you properly in the summer, you seem like a nice young lad and good luck at your hearing, Severus" he smiled.

"Thank you very much" the dark haired boy smiled warmly.

"I'll see you both in a couple of months, take care" Mister Lupin nodded and gently put one arm around Remus' back before he turned and headed off down the corridor glancing back at them and smiling over his shoulder.

Severus breathed a hefty sigh of relief, that didn't go to badly, much easier than he had expected actually.

"Right let's be going to that hearing then" Slughorn sighed rubbing his hands together.

They made their way back down the corridor holding hands following after Professor Slughorn. Remus leaned over and kissed Severus softly on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For doing so well meeting my dad, wait until later because if you're up to it I will really give you a reward" he winked playfully.

Severus' lips curled into a smirk. "Yeah well just you wait because I'll give you the best blow job of your life" he breathed.

"I look forward to it" Remus chuckled.

They stopped walking outside the office rooms where the reading was to take place.

"Wait here" said Professor Slughorn. They watched as he went inside and appeared only a few moments later beckoning them through. They followed him inside to where a woman was sitting writing on a piece of parchment at her desk, they signed their names and went back outside waiting to be called in.

"You feeling okay?" Remus asked gently pulling Severus into his arms.

"Just nervous" Severus breathed shakily.

"You'll be fine, want me to come in with you?" Remus offered and Severus nodded vigorously.

"Severus you will do just fine, you are a strong person you'll get through this easily" said Slughorn.

Severus glanced up at him and smiled, this was all so reassuring.

"Severus Snape?" a male voice called and they all turned. A middle aged man stood in the doorway glancing between them all.

"Yes" said Severus stepping back a little from Remus and straightening himself up his heart hammering in his chest.

"We're ready for you now" he said calmly.

Severus exchanged a worried glance with Remus before he nodded to the man and clasped Remus' hand, taking a deep breath he followed the man inside the room with Remus behind him.

The room was fairly small with one two seater sofa and a chair before it, a desk sat in the corner where another man stood his face solemn, there was a case sitting on top of the desk and Severus swallowed as the man took the seat in front of the sofa and asked smiled at them.

"Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable" he smiled again gesturing at the sofa.

The two boys sat nervously perched on the edge of the sofa their eyes focused on the man before them.

"Now, you know why you're here today it's for the reading of your parents will, please don't feel worried about anything and if you want to stop at any point then just say so, I understand this is a difficult thing to come to terms with especially being so young so we'll do this as nicely as possible" he smiled.

Severus nodded very nervously squeezing Remus' hands in his own.

"Right let's begin" the man said beckoning the silent man over. They watched him pick up the case, cross the small room and hand it over moving straight back to his position.

"My name is Mister Silvers by the way" the middle aged man smiled. He opened the case pulling out a roll of parchment placing the case on the floor he cleared his throat and began to read. "Oh this day, January 25th 1975, the reading of the will of Mrs Eileen Snape nee Prince and Mister Tobias Snape will take place in this room baring two witnesses a Mister Arthur Thoms and- what is your name?" the man asked glancing over at Remus as he pulled out his ink and quill.

"Remus Lupin"

"And a Mister Remus Lupin" he added scribbling that down. "Right we can no proceed" he added quickly. "This will is partially conjoined and some of the items listed are separate from your mother's own personal will" he explained quickly. "Let's get started then"

Severus shifted nervously in his seat and glanced to Remus.

"I will read the joint will first; _To our only son, Severus Snape, we leave the house situated at 198 Spinners End, Cokeworth, North Yorkshire, England. The total amount in the standard banking account mounting to the total of one hundred and forty seven pounds and fifty four pence, All house furnishings decorations and any desired items" _He read aloud.

Remus glanced to Severus, his lips were set in a grim line and his face was pale.

"_From Eileen Prince' bank account (as her name on the account had not been changed post marriage) she leaves to you two thousand, nine hundred and ninety Galleons, a large collection of family photograph's-" _the man paused mid-sentenceto pull an enormous photo album from the box beside him, two smaller albums and a plastic wallet filled with photos, the biggest album entitled 'Severus'. Severus took them nervously fidgeting with the tattered corners of the books in his hands, it was now all becoming real and over whelming.

"You have also been left a collection of dark arts prophesy books which will be shipped to you at school" the man said. "Now I just need you and your witness to sign the bottom to acknowledge you have attended the reading and you accept everything given to you in the will" said the man.

Severus swallowed the enormous lump in his throat forcing back the tears prickling in his eyes. He took the quill and signed his name but it was all too much, as Remus started to sign the will, Severus jumped to his feet his photograph's in his hands, he hurried from the room slamming the door behind him and shifting to lean against the wall outside with his head down, his arms wrapped tightly around the albums pulling them against his chest.

"Severus?" Professor Slughorn asked worriedly approaching the boy.

Severus hung his head lower fighting back the tears, his shoulders were shaking.

Slughorn looked up as the door opened and Remus appeared shutting it behind him, he sighed and moved quickly to Severus gathering him up in his arms and kissing his cheek softly. "Shh"

"That was so much harder than I ever thought it would be..." Severus breathed.

"Oh Severus" Remus sighed cuddling him tighter. "Everything will be okay"

"Shall we head back to the castle now so you can go back to your common room, have some rest, mull things over and maybe reminisce?" Slughorn said nodding to the books in Severus' arms.

The dark haired boy sniffled and smiled weakly. "Yeah I'm ready to leave" he nodded.

"Come on" Remus said gently letting go of him and wiping the few small tears from his face. They smiled warmly to one another before Remus carefully draped an arm around Severus' lower back and kissed his cheek again as they headed off down the corridor after Professor Slughorn.

They left the Ministry apparating back into the grounds of Hogsmeade, Severus stumbled and fell on his side as they landed on the freezing icy ground, his world was spinning and he felt incredibly sick.

"Careful" Remus chuckled helping him to his feet, Severus' head spun and he vomited onto the floor still clutching his photo album's to his chest.

"Oh dear, if your stomach is still upset by the time we get back then I'll make something to help settle it" Slughorn said resting his hand on Severus' shoulder as they made their way slowly through the village.

"Thank you" Severus said weakly.

"Most of it was water anyway" said Remus.

"I just want to sit down and cuddle" Severus said as they made their way to the gates.

"Then that's what we can do" Remus smiled as they headed over to a carriage and climbed in with their teacher whom snapped the door shut and in no time at all it was heading back along the lane towards the castle.

"Severus, are you feeling any better?" Slughorn asked worriedly noticing Severus was sitting leaning against Remus gazing down between their feet.

Severus shrugged slightly and sighed. "Fine just feel sick and cold"

Remus wrapped his arms around his boyfriend pulling him closer for warmth. "You'll be better when we get in the warm and can sit down"

Severus nodded slowly.

For the rest of the journey back up to the castle nobody spoke, when they climbed out the carriages and headed back into the castle, Professor Slughorn and Remus exchanged worried glances even as they headed down into the dungeons, Severus still hugging his album's tightly to his chest.

"If you need anything to soothe your stomach then just come and ask, I will be in my office until break and then in the great hall until one thirty" Slughorn said stopping outside his office.

"Thank you but I feel okay now" Severus smiled weakly his eyes were still brimming with tears.

"That's good news, you did very well today my boy" Slughorn smiled trying to assure his student everything would be okay. "You should be proud of yourself so go and enjoy your day off I'll see you in lessons tomorrow if I don't see you before if you feel up to it"

"Thanks a lot, Professor" Remus nodded.

"No trouble" Slughorn nodded.

He watched the two boys disappear down the corridor and into the Slytherin corridor before he made his way into his office, he couldn't help but feel worried for Severus.

In the Slytherin dorm, Severus stripped into his pyjamas, had a wash and placed his albums on his bedside table climbing under the bed covers facing towards the bathroom door waiting for Remus. He curled up into a tight ball closing his eyes. He felt hurt, confused, strained and tired. He didn't care that it was still morning he just wanted to curl up, go to sleep for a few hours and try to let this whole thing pass.

By the time the door clicked open, Severus was struggling to hear it as he was drifting off to sleep so quickly. The weight sank on the bed and he felt Remus' arms wrap carefully around him pulling him in closer.

"I love you" Remus whispered.

"I love you too" Severus breathed, and he really meant it.

Remus watched Severus for quite some time as he slept, at some time before lunch, he noticed a single tear roll down his lover's cheek...


	14. Valentines Day

A few hours later and the Slytherin dormitory door opened. The boys crept inside quietly and snuck over to the bed where Remus and Severus were curled up fast asleep under the covers.

"Should we wake them?" Evan whispered.

"How do we know they aren't already awake?" it was Mulciber.

Avery just sighed and rolled his eyes making his way over there, he carefully lifted back the covers to where the two boys were sleeping. The cool air brushed over Remus' skin and his eyes fluttered open, he turned to gaze up at Avery his eyebrows creasing with confusion.

"Huh?" he blinked rather stupidly.

"We came to see if you were okay and how Severus got on at the... hearing" Avery said in a low murmur his brown eyes wandering over to Severus' sleeping form.

Remus sighed and sat up a little more to look at Avery properly. "It was okay but it wasn't exactly good, he broke down afterwards it was too much but it's all sorted now and everything will be transferred and shipped to him soon, it's probably better you don't mention too much around him though he's a bit... unsettled"

Avery nodded with understanding as the others crept over and peered in at Severus.

"He looks proper vulnerable when he's sleeping" Evan commented.

"You probably do too" Remus chuckled softly and snuggled back down beside him. Severus was obviously very tired and hadn't stirred at all throughout the exchange of conversation...

Just over a week had passed since the Ministry hearing and Severus was getting much better, he seemed better in himself as the days went by and things changed for him. It was like he was finally accepting the idea his parents were dead and gone forever and his life was going to change, in some ways for the better.

It was now the third of February, the start of a new month. The winter air was rattling around the castle and the snow clung heavily to the ground blanketing it in a slightly thinner layer of white, it should be leaving within a few weeks. It was Sunday evening and the two boys sat lounging in the bath tub filled with warm water and bubbles, Remus sat kissing Severus' neck playfully as the boy relaxed even further against his boyfriend.

"Having a nice evening?" Remus asked with a yawn.

"Very nice, very cosy too" Severus sighed contentedly.

"Mm yeah, and I have my Sev all hot, wet and soapy" Remus chuckled his hands sliding up the outside of Severus' slender thighs.

Severus laughed. "I am feeling so much better now you know"

"That's good, I'm pleased you are because you've been through one hell of a tough few months" Remus smiled gently.

"You know I'm only here because of you, right?" Severus went on turning around to sit properly in Remus' lap draping his arms around his shoulders so he could look into those stunning crystal blue eyes.

Remus flushed a little and smiled again his hands moving to rest on Severus' bottom. "I may have helped a little..."

"No you've helped me entirely, I could never have done this alone, I could never have done any of this without you and you know that if you hadn't have been there for me I would be dead along with my parents..." Severus swallowed as he spoke very seriously.

Remus smiled a little nervously now. "I really do love you, Severus and I never wanted to see you hurt or worse because it would kill me"

"You know I would never cope without you" Severus breathed brushing their lips together so lightly Remus wasn't even fully sure that Severus had kissed him, he really was like a little angel. "I might not be too special, I might not have anything or be perfect but I'm me and I know you love me for that"

"Correct" Remus chuckled softly leaning in to kiss Severus properly on the lips with a smile still lingering on his handsome face. "Things can only go up from here, we've been through hell and back together and it's only made us stronger so let's keep fighting forever"

"Forever" Severus whispered.

By the time they got out of the bath, dressed and climbed into bed it was starting to get late. They snuggled down in each other's arms gazing into their eyes with soft caresses of hands on pale exposed skin for a little while before they drifted off to sleep.

The next morning they were woken by the usual bickering in the dormitory. With a sigh Remus yawned and stretched out snuggling into Severus' back lovingly. "Mm why do they always have to wake us up?"

"Because they enjoy being petty and irritating" Severus mumbled sleepily pulling Remus' arms tighter around his middle.

Remus laughed into the back of his neck and started pressing soft kisses to the exposed patch of skin there. "You're funny"

Severus just smiled.

Half an hour later and they were up, dressed and heading down for breakfast ignoring the fact people were still shooting them odd glances. It was definitely nowhere near as bad as before it was mainly to see if there were any more scandals going on between them but so far nothing was happening.

They ate in peace and had absolutely no awful owl letters either before they got up and headed off to their first lesson, potions.

"Well, well, well" James Potter commented as they stopped outside of lessons. "Look who doesn't have an excuse to be off today" he added with a nasty smirk.

Remus shot him a dangerous glare.

"Ooh and what are you shooting such filthy looks over, Remus?" he laughed.

"Grow up" Remus muttered as he turned his eyes back on Severus and smiled gently. He knew Severus was probably going to get upset about this and hoped for his sake that James would just leave them alone now.

"Who are you telling to grow up? You and this pathetic little charade you're going along with" James tutted wrinkling his nose with disgust as his eyes flickered to Severus. "It's all drama, drama, drama with you isn't it?"

"We wouldn't have any drama if it weren't for you, everything that has happened to us is because of you" Remus said coolly.

"You're begging for attention" Sirius said through narrowed eyes.

"And you are begging for a fight" Remus sighed.

"Looks like we've already got one, eh?" James laughed looking to his pathetic little cronies for approval.

Remus rolled his eyes again. "Like I said before, grow up"

"Why don't you make me" James said moving forward and giving Remus a little shove.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HIM" Severus snarled shoving James hard enough to make him stumble back a few steps completely surprised by this behaviour.

"Well look what's gotten into Snivellus" Sirius laughed his own eyebrows in his hairline with shock. Severus never normally reacted at all like this it was completely new to them and absolutely fascinating to see how far they could push it.

"This should be interesting" Peter smirked nastily.

"Where do you get off on putting your filthy hands on me?!" James snarled regaining his composure.

Severus did not back down.

"Hmph, he seems to have a bit of an attitude problem, James, you should really sort that out" Sirius barked a laugh.

"Fuck off, Black" Severus spat.

Sirius pushed in front of James his face suddenly turning stormy. "Say that again and I'll break your legs" he said coldly.

"Oh no you bloody well won't" Remus said sharply. "You touch Severus and I'll kick you into next week"

"You couldn't kick a sandwich into next week" Sirius scoffed his eyes flickering to Remus for a moment before they turned back on Severus. "I don't know why he or anyone else bothers to waste their time on you, you're a waste of space, you shouldn't be allowed to breathe and you're the vilest little creature on the face of the Earth"

"So you say" said Severus slowly. What Sirius was saying hurt him somewhat but not as much as it used to, he was stronger now, more capable and he wasn't about to let this horrible little boy get the better of him, it was spite, pure spite.

"So the whole world says" Sirius said coldly.

"You really don't have a life do you?" Severus said lightly relaxing quite a bit. "You feel the need to bully other people to make yourself feel better along with Potter, the pair of you don't have lives and can't find any enjoyment in anything but cruelty and negativity, well you're going to live a sad, lonely life" he went on. "I'm amazed you haven't been expelled for all you've done yet, I'm amazed anyone still even likes you in fact I bet they don't, I'll bet they just pretend to like you because they're afraid of what you'll do to them otherwise, well Remus and I aren't like that, we have a backbone"

Sirius' face looked thunderous, his silver eyes flashed with lightning as he drew himself up taller. "If I were your parents I would take you to the vets and have you put down immediately, no wonder you stay here on holiday's because they'd never have you otherwise"

Lily's gasp made Remus jump, the Slytherin's all moved in closer their faces washed with shock and Remus made to move but Severus held him back and when the dark haired boy looked back to him, tears were glistening in his eyes.

"Well let me tell you something" Severus began leaning in closer to Sirius and speaking through gritted teeth. "My parents are _dead _my dad stabbed my mum to death all over the living room and then went upstairs and hung himself in my bedroom and this all happened just before Christmas, say whatever the hell you want about me but don't you DARE speak about Remus or my family!" he snarled tears now trickling down his cheeks.

"_Oh my god that's awful!" one girl squeaked. _

"_Poor Snape"_

"_What Black said is disgusting!" a boy piped up. _

A horrible smirk crossed Sirius' face and much to Severus' horror he looked as though he were about to laugh so before anything else could happen, Severus turned on his heels and marched straight by them and into the entrance hall. Remus looked back to them once, a look of death on his face before he hurried after Severus as the boy went for the stairs.

But before either of them could get far enough away they heard Sirius say something awful.

"_I guess suicide runs in the family, no wonder they killed each other with a son like that" _

Remus felt sick to his stomach as he finally caught up with Severus he was on the second floor and running into a rather spacious alcove.

"Severus!"

The boy stopped putting his head in his hands and hiccoughing trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill further down his cheeks. He hated it when other people saw him cry and especially seeing as how he knew how much it upset Remus when he cried, he hated to upset Remus because he just loved him so much.

"Severus..." Remus breathed pulling the boy into his arms. "Shh, calm down"

"Remus..." he sniffled.

"I know you're upset, what Sirius said was awful" Remus swallowed. "But I am so proud of you for standing up to him like that, you're really brave, Severus, many people wouldn't dare do that out of fear of what he'd do and you used to be like that"

"But not anymore" Severus sniffed looking up into Remus' face.

The blonde boy smiled and gently wiped away Severus' tears on the back of his hand with tears glistening in his own lovely eyes. "Please don't cry because you know it sets me off"

A tiny smile curled in the corners of Severus' mouth. "I hate it when you're upset"

"Well then you'll have to stop crying and start smiling" Remus flashed him a playful grin. "You did amazingly back there you know"

Severus blushed a little bit and kissed Remus softly on the lips. "You're too sweet" he smiled warmly.

"And you're too cute" Remus chuckled kissing him back. "We can sit here" he said pulling Severus carefully down onto a bench. "Until you calm down and you feel better then we can go back to lesson, Slughorn won't mind we have a good reason"

Severus nodded slowly with understanding and sniffled a little bit. "I just can't believe he said that, well actually I can but you catch my drift"

Remus nodded with understanding. "Sirius will get what's coming to him one day, you've already proved to him that you won't stand down for anything so you know" he shrugged a little. "Life is fair sometimes"

Severus smiled again and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist. "I feel so much better when I'm with you"

"And I, you, Severus" Remus breathed. "I love you"

"I love you too, so much" Severus smiled kissing Remus' neck tenderly.

It took around half an hour for Severus to cool off enough to be able to go back to lessons and when they finally appeared through the door, Slughorn just smiled gently with understanding and nodded to their seats.

They hurried in and sat down quickly pulling their things out without meeting anyone's eye.

"Just pay them no attention if they say anything" Remus said quietly. "We'll get out of here as soon as the lesson ends and stay away from them"

Severus swallowed and nodded his pulse quickening a little bit, he could vaguely see them staring at him maliciously through the corner of his eye, Sirius in particular. "They won't beat me" he said firmly.

"I'm proud" Remus smiled pecking him on the temple when the teacher wasn't looking.

When the end of the lesson came, Severus and Remus hurried out of the classroom with the other Slytherin guys huddled around them to be sure that none of the three remaining Marauders could start, if they were in a pack it was less likely especially seeing as how they knew how dangerous Severus' dorm mates could be when they wanted to.

The rest of the day passed and the two boys managed to avoid the Marauders and when they collapsed into bed together that evening they were starting to feel better.

"Are you still sad?" Remus asked as he gently combed his fingers through Severus' long hair.

"No" the boy said quietly. "I don't want to be sad anymore it's their problem and their mistake and they can suffer, I've been hearing people all day making comments about them especially what Black said about my mum and dad and that's part of the reason why I said what I said to him"

"About their deaths?"

Severus nodded. "I know this is going to sound very wrong but I said it partly to make my point and partly to show other people what Sirius is really like, they died in a horrible way and he's making fun of that, plus it hasn't even been two months yet"

Remus nodded with understanding. "I don't think it was wrong, I think it was a wise choice"

"You do?"

"Yeah" Remus smiled warmly. "You're smart, Severus, and your plan worked so what's wrong about it? I don't think they will stop saying things about you or your family but it might ease up a little and they definitely can't say anything else in front of people now because they know they're in the wrong and they know people are upset with them. They can hate on me as much as they like but I won't let them hate on you"

Remus smiled and snuggled up to Severus curling around him. "I'd never let them hurt you either"

"I know, you always stand up for me" Severus smiled sweetly.

"You're cute"

"So are you" Severus chuckled.

"By the way I think you might have grown a little, we're practically the same size now" Remus smirked entangling their legs under the covers.

"Hmm I noticed that the other day, must be all the good food you're making me eat" Severus winked playfully watching the excitable grin spread across Remus' face.

"Good food, eh?"

"Definitely" Severus breathed pulling him in for a tender kiss.

Three days passed and it actually seemed that the Marauders were avoiding them this time and slowly Remus and Severus began to relax. It was as though a weight had been lifted for now but Severus couldn't help but worry that they might come back even worse when they finally did and there was no doubt in his mind that they would exact some form of vicious revenge on them.

By Friday afternoon they were desperately looking forward to the weekend again and not just because there was a Quidditch match on Saturday they planned to watch together but because it would give them a break from everything school threw at them.

"Boy's if you wouldn't mind coming to my office just after last lesson today I would like to have a little chat with you and see how you're both getting on" Professor McGonagall said as she handed out the sheets in Transfiguration that day.

"Okay" Remus said quietly glancing up warily at her as though he thought he might be in trouble for something.

"It's Valentines day next Thursday" Severus said casually. "And they have a ball on..."

"Oh so you want to go to this dance, do you?" Remus smiled gently.

"I'd like to go if you would?"

"Are you asking me?" Remus' smile spread into a warm, lovely grin.

Severus blushed and nodded. "You can say no if you don't feel like it, I know it's not really my thing but it's our first Valentines day together and this sounds like fun so we should celebrate"

Remus just continued to smile as he shuffled closer and rested a hand on Severus' thigh under the table. "Why Severus, I would love to go to the ball with you" he breathed.

Severus fluttered his eyelashes subconsciously and shyly, his blush scattering further across his face but he didn't care how silly, girly or giddy he looked right now. Things were definitely on the up for them.

When lunch came around they hurried off to the great hall and sat down amongst the others.

"You two seem happier than you did a few days ago" Mulciber commented.

"Yeah that's because Potter has left us alone" Severus replied calmly.

"When you left we gave him a bit of a fair warning to stay away from you or he'll have hell to pay from Slytherin" Avery smirked. "I don't think he'll be bothering you for a while now though" he added with a chuckle.

"That's a relief" Remus sighed happily.

By the time the end of the day did in fact finally drag on by, they were eager to see Professor McGonagall and get out for their weekend free. The two boys headed up the stairs and along the corridor to their teachers office, they stopped outside still hand in hand and knocked loudly.

"Come in" she called.

Remus and Severus exchanged glances before they slipped inside and stood staring at the woman sitting behind her desk in the warm little tower room.

"Have a seat, boys" she said pointing towards the two chairs placed in front of her desk directly opposite her. They moved across and sat down without a word.

"Are we in trouble, Professor?" Remus asked with a worried frown. They actually hadn't done anything wrong.

"No, no you haven't done anything wrong, either of you" she said clasping her hands together and eyeing them both over her glasses. "No I wanted to speak with you to make sure everything was alright with the pair of you, what with the move down to Slytherin and everything that you've been through and all..."

The two boys looked to one another and smiled.

"Yes everything has been going really well" Remus said quietly.

"And the Slytherin boys are treating you okay? They don't mind you being there?"

"They don't mind at all" Severus smiled a little.

"They've been fine with me and we're starting to become friends" said Remus.

"That's good to hear but what about your old ones?" she asked again. Remus' face turned to stone.

"They aren't my friends and I don't want to speak with them after everything they've done, they're still making comments but for a few days now they haven't bothered us" Remus said slowly.

"Right well I'll make a note of that and if they do anything again report it straight to me and I will have a word, we cannot tolerate bullying like that in this school" the Professor said sternly her eyes flashing.

"We will, thank you" said Severus nervously.

"So you're both getting along fine together and everything is going well, is it?" she asked looking between them the mood in the room suddenly becoming lighter.

"Yes thanks we're getting along perfectly and everything is going fine with pretty much everything now" Remus smiled brightly.

"Definitely" said Severus with a grin.

"Very well, then I see no reason to keep either of you behind any longer, off you go and enjoy your weekend and remember what I said" she said tilting her head down to them as they jumped quickly to their feet clasping hands again.

"Thank you, Professor" said Remus.

"No worries, now off you go" she said waving a hand quickly to dismiss them.

They left and as soon as they were out in the corridor flung their arms around each other.

"The weekend is finally here!" Remus was positively beaming with delight. "What shall we do first?" he asked very eagerly.

"Anything you fancy" Severus chuckled. "But I do want to get some dinner to be honest before I do anything else"

"Let's go then" said Remus pulling the boy towards the stairs.

They headed down to the great hall and settled into their seats piling their plates high with pizza and chips before tucking in greedily.

"By the way, my mum wants to know if you'd like to come to my house over Easter?" Remus asked as the others arrived to sit around them.

"I'd love to" Severus smiled. "A little nervous though..." he flushed.

"Don't be, my dad has already met you and he says he likes you, my mum is desperate to meet you and get to know you and I think you'll really like where I live" Remus said his eyes shining with excitement.

Severus smiled warmly. "I'll go with you"

"Great!" Remus beamed throwing his arms around the boy and kissing him softly on the cheek.

"What are you two celebrating this time?" Regulus asked arriving a few minutes later with the younger guys.

"Severus is coming to my house over the Easter holiday's" Remus said eagerly. "He'll meet my mum for the first time seeing as he's already met my dad"

"That sounds nice" Regulus nodded. "I hope you two have fun, I might just stay in the castle this year, there isn't really anything much to do at home and it gets pretty boring..."

"Doesn't sound very good to be honest" Severus said sympathetically. He was so grateful to Remus' mum and dad for letting him live with them otherwise he'd be thrown with some random Muggle carers that would probably mistreat him and refuse to accept him, he'd be passed around from home to home until finally he could leave but no, Remus' parents were kind enough to take him in as their own and he was going to make sure he was a brilliant house guest, he was good to Remus and he made sure his parents liked him.

When they finished eating they strolled back to the common room and snuggled up by the fire whilst Severus' friends were messing about playing Gobstones on the floor between the two heavy sofas.

"Remus have you ever thought about the future?" Severus asked curiously after some time of just cuddling.

"What do you mean by that?" the blonde boy asked as he played with a lock of Severus' black hair.

Severus shrugged a little. "Like what we'll do, what will happen to us even just this year, what we're going to face, where we're going to live and how far we're willing to go for one another" he said slowly.

"I'm willing to do anything for you" Remus said quickly.

"I am too, for you of course" Severus smiled warmly. "But once we leave school people are going to realise that..."

"That what?" Remus frowned confusedly.

"That you have a small fuzzy problem..." Severus breathed. Remus' eyes widened and he looked to Severus nervously.

"Well, yes, I won't be able to work or anything and I want you to know now that they might shun you for being with me..." he said calmly.

"You know what we have to do, right?" Severus asked.

"Oh please Severus... don't break up with me" he said desperately clutching at the boy's clothes. "I can't cope without you"

Severus looked shocked to say the least. "I'm never going to break up with you" he said kissing Remus affectionately on the cheek. "Don't be so silly, but I was going to say that there's something we should really do to make sure we don't have any problems..." he went on slowly this time.

Remus stared at him a little confused.

"You should change me" Severus said quietly looking Remus in the eye.

For a moment there Remus wasn't sure he had heard Severus correctly but slowly Severus watched as the boy's face turned to horror.

"Severus-"

"Don't say no straight away, hear me out" Severus said quickly cutting off whatever Remus was about to say, he knew it wouldn't be good. "You should really think about it, we'd be together and we'd both be shunned for the same reason, we'd have the same problem, we could live together in harmony and spend all of our time together, we could have a lot of fun together you know and nothing would be able to stop us"

Remus swallowed.

Severus kept talking. "We'd be free to do whatever together, no stress, no strain and you wouldn't have to change me for months, if not over a year, so what do you say? Will you think about it?" he asked hopefully.

Remus hesitated a moment. Logically Severus had a very good point there, he was talking complete sense and it was a real idea to change him and they could be together with no draw backs or problems however infecting Severus would turn his world upside down, he would no longer be a normal human, he would have the same problems as Remus and he would go through the horrific pain of turning into a Werewolf every single month without fail. "I don't know if I can put you through the pain of physically becoming a Werewolf because it's extremely painful..." he said slowly.

Severus shook his head. "Put that to one side, think about it, really, don't use small excuses and petty things to keep your no in mind, only say no if you have a real reason to like it could kill me to become infected even if you didn't rip me to shreds"

"If I were to change you we'd have to do it at my house and I would need to be chained down so I could bite you in a controlled environment so the risk of me killing you would be extremely slim, people rarely die from the infection itself they usually die from being torn apart by it or being half dead when they're infected" Remus explained. "But I guess if it'll make you happy then I will think about it even if I am very unsure about actually doing it..."

"Thank you, Remus" Severus beamed cuddling his lover tightly. "We don't have to tell anyone at all"

Remus chuckled. "I doubt we could tell anyone except my parents and Dumbledore if you were still at school after you changed"

Severus nodded with understanding. "And please bear in mind that I have nothing but you to lose"

Remus swallowed and nodded. "I understand" he whispered.

They lay in silence for a little while before they decided to go up to the dormitory. They said their goodbyes, went up, washed, changed and slipped into bed behind already closed curtains.

"I love spending time with you just cuddling and kissing and being all snuggly and sweet" Remus smiled warmly getting all cosy under the warm, soft bed covers with Severus.

Severus smiled. "Me too, and you really like fancy underwear don't you?" he chuckled his fingers running over it under Remus' nightshirt.

Remus grinned a tiny scattering of a blush was glowing across his face. "Maybe I do"

"Well I like seeing you wear them" Severus breathed.

"Mm all for your eyes, Severus, all for you" Remus whispered leaning in for a tender kiss.

"Maybe soon we'll have to take it all off... properly" Severus breathed nipping lightly at Remus' plump lower lip. Remus moaned softly and moved in closer.

"Definitely, a nice romantic evening in I think" Remus whispered huskily.

"Ooh very nice" Severus breathed nuzzling Remus' face softly. He noticed how much more confident he had grown with Remus and that now he could do these things without having to look away or blush so badly he thought his face were about to explode.

"Well then, tongue me" Remus breathed pulling Severus in for a deep kiss before the boy could even reply. Remus moaned when he felt Severus tongue sliding into his mouth, his leg shifted up the boy's thigh to rest sexily on his hip.

"Someone is very eager" Severus breathed against his boyfriend's mouth his eyebrows rising into his hairline with a small amount of surprise.

"Mm well with a boyfriend like you, who wouldn't be?" Remus smiled drawing back a little to gaze into Severus' face. "You wanna sleep?"

Severus smiled and nodded. "Sure, I love you"

"I love you too" said Remus.

It wasn't long before they were fast asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

The next morning Remus was woken by something- or someone rather, shuffling around under the covers. His eyes fluttered open when he felt a pair of wet lips trailing kisses up the insides of his thighs, his morning erection already tenting beneath his nightshirt.

"Severus?" he groaned softly.

Severus laughed softly from beneath the covers. "Turn onto your tummy" he said lightly.

Remus still wasn't very awake but flopped onto his front anyway settling his cheek down on the pillow and closing his eyes again wondering what on Earth Severus was doing as he shuffled around a little.

He gasped softly with surprise when he felt Severus' teeth sink into his bum cheek, pressing kisses across it before moving to the other side and biting that as well. His teeth sank into his bottom lip and his light eyebrows furrowed with anticipation and excitement as he wondered what would come next through his still sleep-filled, hazy mind.

Severus moaned softly as his lips trailed further inwards and he gently parted Remus' cheeks gazing at his pink little star before he leaned in slowly and twirled his tongue around it.

Remus' eyes snapped open and he moaned very loudly clenching his pillow tightly in his fisted grasp. "Oh gods..." he moaned again.

Severus smiled and carefully swiped his tongue over his boyfriend's soft little anus earning another desperate little gasp from the boy. "You like that?" he breathed against Remus' skin sending shivers up his spine.

"Gods Sev... please more..." he groaned his eyebrows furrowing further as he refused to release grip of the bedding.

Severus chuckled softly before leaning down more and starting to kiss Remus' secret little hole very slowly and passionately using as much moisture as he could.

Remus cried out loudly with pleasure arching himself off of the bed a little. Severus sat up more and pulled Remus' hips up with him as he began to push his tongue at that sweet little hole.

They vaguely heard the other's call back angrily and the door slamming as one or two of them went downstairs.

Remus thought he was in heaven, he could see stars as Severus' soft pink tongue pushed its way into his tight virgin entrance. He moaned loudly gazing back trying to see more, the tingling yet so powerful sensations in his bottom were going to bring him to orgasm very quickly. "That feels so nice" he panted closing his eyes in a long slow blink as Severus began to twirl his tongue around inside of the boy.

Severus smiled and moaned softly against Remus' skin, the boy cried out softly again and began trembling as he whimpered helplessly into his pillow.

"I'm getting close…." Remus panted his eyes swirling with desperate need.

Severus chuckled softly the vibrations again making Remus gasp with delight. "I'll make you cum from this, Remus" he breathed pressing kisses around Remus' entrance as the boy pushed back asking for penetration again.

"I'll have your virgin arse screaming for more"

Remus felt as though he were about to explode with pleasure. "Please..." he breathed.

Severus pulled back and paused earning a grumpy moan from Remus as the boy wiggled his hips impatiently. With one smile and a slight pause, Severus' tongue delved back inside of him twirling around moistening and loosening his lovely hole.

Within a few short minutes, Remus was panting, gasping and sobbing with pleasure. That familiar, deep, pressure feeling inside of his swelling rapidly. "Severus... Sev I'm getting close, so, so close..." he panted clutching tightly at the bed sheets.

Severus reached under and began to tease the tip of the boy's erection slipping his foreskin back gently with his thumb, he pressed his face further into Remus' bottom and moaned.

And that was more than Remus could take, he came with a scream of Severus' name pushing his arse back into his boyfriend's face as he exploded all over the bed beneath his raised hips. His orgasm seemed to last an absolute lifetime as he rode through the final intensive waves.

Slowly but surely, Severus pulled back a little, brushed his lips to Remus' bottom and watched the boy roll over and flop onto his back resting his left hand across his forehead trembling slightly with the aftermath of such intensive pleasure.

Severus chuckled softly again his face glowing with his warm rosy blush. "I take it you enjoyed your little wake-up call then?"

Remus' crystal-like eyes flickered to Severus' and he shot a beaming grin. "Liked it?! I fucking ADORED it!"

Severus' smile turned into an excitable grin. "I'm glad to hear that"

"But how was it for you? It can't have tasted all that good..." Remus flushed a tiny little bit.

Severus just smiled graciously. "It tasted fine, just like skin, you were clean so you tasted and smelled just great" he chuckled.

Remus looked rather relieved to hear this. "Oh... well that's good" he relaxed again.

"Mm but I am going to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out" he chuckled hopping off of the bed straight through the curtains. He heard Remus laughing as he made his way into the bathroom to clean up.

A few minutes later he was back with very red, warm lips smelling strongly of mint.

Remus was lounging in a tangle of sheets over the bed looking very warm, comfy and relaxed. He grinned when Severus reappeared. "Want me to return that favour sometime?"

"I definitely would" Severus breathed. "But how about we go and get some breakfast right about now?" he said with a tiny laugh.

Remus just grinned. "Sounds perfect to me"

They dressed, washed up and headed down to breakfast hand in hand only a few minutes later stopping every so often to kiss tenderly.

By the time they dropped into their seats at the Slytherin table the other guys were shooting them odd looks.

"Nice of you to warn us you planned on having sex this morning" Evan said slowly.

"We weren't having sex" said Remus lightly as he piled some food on his plate.

Mulciber rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Blow job then" said Avery.

"Well he was doing something with his mouth but it certainly wasn't a blow job" Remus smirked his eyes flickered to Severus whom blushed very rapidly over this.

The boys looked very confused.

Evan's eyes narrowed as he looked to Severus then it hit him. "Oh Merlin you didn't eat him out, did you?!" he gasped his eyes snapping wide open with shock.

Severus blushed furiously again and Remus started grinning at him in adoration.

"How could he possibly eat him out?" asked Regulus with a frown. "They're both boys"

Evan shot him a look.

Mulciber gagged a little and Avery just continued to look confused.

"He could tongue fuck his arse" Evan said slowly. "Make out with it or whatever you wanna call it"

Regulus' mouth fell open and he stared at them. "REALLY?!"

"Yes" said Severus shyly.

"Do we wanna know about this?" Avery asked quirking an eyebrow at them.

"Not unless you want sexual details then no" said Remus simply.

Saturday seemed to pass in a blur and by the time they fell into bed that night they were both in great spirits.

On Sunday afternoon they went up to the library, sitting at the very back they pulled their things from their bags, pulled out their chairs and dropped down into their seats ready to get to work on unfinished homework set.

Remus leaned over and inhaled deeply. "You smell really good"

"Thank you" Severus breathed pressing his lips to the pulse point of Remus' neck. "So do you"

"So shall we get started on this potions essay first?" Remus suggested pulling out his own barely started piece of parchment.

"I guess" said Severus. "Potions essays are usually reasonably easy to do but damn boring and they go wrong if you forget one tiny thing" he added with a half yawn.

"True" said Remus.

They sat working for about half an hour quietly and every so often they would check their text books for reference.

"I know, I'll get an ingredients list book for us to look at, I can't remember for the life of me what the name of that green fuzzy stuff was" Severus yawned getting to his feet slowly and stretching out.

"Great, see you in a minute" Remus smiled.

Severus wandered through the shelves looking for the right section and Remus continued to work quietly for a few moments until he heard a small scuffling behind one of the shelves. His ears pricked and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He looked up slowly watching someone appear through them.

Remus' heart skipped a beat. "You" he said angrily.

"Yes, Remus, it's me" Sirius said quietly as he swaggered a little closer.

Remus tensed and glanced off through the shelves wondering when Severus would be back, he hoped the boy wouldn't be too long.

Sirius on the other hand seemed to notice this nervous gesture and chuckled softly a small nasty sneer curling in the corners of his fine mouth. "Snape's gone for the time being" he said slowly.

"He just went to get a book" said Remus simply. "And James and Peter better not be hanging around trying to hurt him" he said worriedly getting to his feet.

Sirius stepped closer again. "Oh Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony" he sighed shaking his head slightly. "What do you take me for?"

"The wild animal you actually are"

Sirius barked a small laugh again making Remus shudder. Something wasn't right he could just sense it. "You want to watch yourself, blondie" Sirius said venomously. "Because I'm coming for you"

Remus swallowed but straightened up, he wasn't going to be afraid of Sirius even though he knew he had very good reason to be. His Werewolf senses were kicking in and screaming at him to run.

Sirius laughed again. "Oh dear" he sighed rather happily as he stepped closer to Remus again. "You really do never learn do you?"

"What exactly am I supposed to learn?"

"Not to mess with me" Sirius flashed an award winning grin. "Dumb blonde, cute, but dumb" he said moving over to grasp Remus' jaw in his right hand.

Remus tried to pull free but Sirius' fingers only clenched tighter. Panic was starting to well up in Remus' chest as his hand snaked down to his pocket discreetly looking for his wand. He knew he was a fairly even match for Sirius so he wasn't too worried about that but right now he was concerned that if Severus came back, Sirius would try to hurt him.

"You know, Remus, it isn't too late for you to change your mind about that little snake..." Sirius said coolly.

Remus tried to pull free and glared into Sirius' eyes. "I am never leaving, Severus"

"Pity" Sirius sighed whimsically. "I always liked them dumb" he continued to survey Remus.

Remus swallowed. "I'm not dumb and you bloody well know that"

Sirius laughed again and released hold of Remus' face. "What do you see in him?"

"I see everything I ever wanted, and now I have it, I love him and you won't change my mind about him" Remus said firmly.

...

Severus was on his way back carrying a small hardback book in his arms when he heard conversation. He slipped further behind the bookcase and peered through the gap. His dark eyes widened when he saw Sirius slowly releasing hold of Remus' face, the Werewolf looked very angry. He continued watching what would happen next.

...

"Don't make me laugh, you're with him out of pure pity because you're too kind and compassionate for anything else, you feel sorry for him and you worry if you break up with him that he'll try and top himself again" Sirius said nastily.

"No I am not, I'm with him because I genuinely love him, I loved him before any of that happened so don't you DARE fucking try and say otherwise" Remus spat back.

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "You need to wash that filthy mouth out with soap, Remus" he said slowly.

"What exactly do you want from me today? Why the hell are you here bothering me?" Remus asked gruffly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed almost impatiently. "I guess it's all my fault for liking dumb blondes, eh?"

"Shut up and tell me what you want" said Remus.

Sirius sighed again his face suddenly turning stern. "I'm here to warn you, Remus, I'm going to give you a chance, you choose me and your life will be perfect, you choose him and well..."

"I wouldn't give Severus up for the world and especially not for someone like you!" Remus spat.

A flicker of anger crossed Sirius' face. "Well heed my warning, Remus, I will not let you get away with this, you messed with me and now you've rejected me, nobody rejects me, so just you watch your back because when you least suspect it I am going to fucking destroy you, I will ruin you" he said leaning in so their noses were almost touching.

Severus watched as Remus tensed up out of fear and he did the only thing he could. He appeared around the side of the bookcase with his wand out and pointing to Sirius. "I won't let you hurt him" he said coolly. "Now clear off, Black, before I do something you'll regret"

Sirius straightened up and started glaring at Severus as though sizing him up. He scoffed loudly. "Pathetic" he sighed before turning back to Remus. "You want to listen to my warning, I will get you for this" he hissed venomously, his eyes had turned an icy shade of silver that frightened Remus to the core. Slowly the boy turned and disappeared back through the shelves.

Remus let out an enormous shaky breath and Severus went flying into his arms. "Are you okay?" he breathed.

"I'm fine" said Remus slowly. "Fuck he scared me" he breathed pulling Severus in for a cuddle. "How much of that did you see?"

"I saw from the part where he was about to let go of your face, he didn't kiss you did he?" Severus asked worriedly.

"No he didn't, but he threatened me and he basically told me he likes me in... that way..." Remus said awkwardly and then cringed.

Severus tensed.

"Now don't you go worrying yourself" Remus chuckled softly and pulled back to look into his boyfriend's eyes. "You know I'd never run off with anyone, especially a piece of shit like him"

Severus smiled warmly. "I know, I heard everything you said, even when he was gripping your face you didn't back down to him so I know you really do love me and care about me" he breathed wrapping his arms tightly around Remus' slender waist.

"Do you think he really will do anything?" Remus asked chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

Severus shrugged a little. "What can he do? The only thing he can really do would be to expose you but I got the impression it was perhaps something else he was planning and besides, Dumbledore will have made sure he can't expose your furry little problem to anyone"

"True..." Remus said slowly, he glanced off back through the bookcases as though worried Sirius were about to make a return.

"We should be sure to stick together and not leave each other's sides until we're sure he isn't going to do anything, chances are he won't do anything anyway" Severus smiled reassuringly. "The worst he can do is hex you, hit you or call you names like he did to me"

"You're very reassuring you know, Severus" Remus smiled warmly and relaxed somewhat.

Severus laughed softly. "Thank you" he breathed and leaned in for a warm, tender kiss.

After that they headed back to the safety of the Slytherin common room. They didn't see Sirius nor James or Peter at all on their travels and even at dinner none of the three Marauders made any sort of eye contact at all.

When Monday arrived things seemed fairly normal. The boys had chosen not to tell the other Slytherin's about what Sirius had done out of fear they may do something to really provoke a nasty reaction from him.

The day passed quite quickly and nothing was said or done to them apart from a few nasty glares from the perilous three.

Tuesday came and the school was glowing with excitement about what was going to happen with the dance on Thursday evening seeing as it was Valentines day after all.

"Are you feeling excitement?" Remus asked as they sat in lesson scribbling on their pieces of parchment.

"Yes of course I am" Severus chuckled. "You?"

Remus nodded eagerly.

"Dancing isn't really my thing" said Severus slowly. "But it'll be nice to have a romantic evening together to celebrate our first Valentines day" he breathed.

"I couldn't agree more" Remus chuckled.

"I wanna see if I can find two hot lesbians and get them to make out" Mulciber said eagerly.

Remus and Severus rolled their eyes. "When do you ever not try to find people like that?" Remus chuckled playfully.

"He has a point there, mate" Avery smirked.

Mulciber elbowed his best friend in the ribs and just laughed it all off.

Wednesday came and as they were standing outside of Potions single lesson, James and Sirius decided to start something again.

Remus and Severus were standing with their arms draped around one another snuggled up close, pressing tiny kisses to one another's lips and canoodling in general.

"Maybe this weekend we could go into Hogsmeade for a nice little trip" Remus said casually.

"Sounds like fun, is there anything in particular you want to go for?" asked Severus. Remus shrugged a little and carried on speaking.

"Not really, just a trip out of the castle for the day would be nice, especially after everything that's happened" he sighed.

Severus studied him a moment. "You're still worried about Black's threat, aren't you?"

Remus shrugged a little and opened his mouth to speak when James, Sirius and Peter came strolling on over.

"Well, well, well so you seem to think it's nice for everybody else standing here to have to see you two having it off with one another" James said coolly.

Remus shot him a frown. "You don't have to look at us if you're a homophobic moron"

A flicker of anger crossed James' face and his eyes turned to Severus a moment before going back to Remus.

"Alright everybody it's time to go in" Slughorn said brightly as he came strolling down to the waiting students and unlocked the door. Nobody moved they continued to stare with anticipation at what James was planning to do to the two boys next.

"Just because you're having sex with him every night doesn't give you the right to strut around flashing your relationship off to everyone else, we don't want to see it you pair of faggots" James spat back with flashing, dangerous eyes.

"I'm still a virgin actually so try again" Remus said coolly.

"So am I" Severus jumped in positively shooting glares of death at James hoping the boy would keel over and curl up at the sight of them. But of course he didn't.

James threw his head back and laughed madly resting his hands on his hips. There was a murmur of excitement, this was new gossip. "You pair of frigid little twats them" he grinned maliciously.

Sirius on the other hand looked extremely curious and almost excited, this was more frightening than what James was doing...

"That is enough, go inside the classroom right now or I will send you to Professor McGonagall" Slughorn said loudly pointing through the doorway into the classroom. A few students turned to move but most hesitated to see if James would retaliate.

"Fuck it" the boy said gruffly before turning on his heels and marching away into the room with one last glare at the two boys. Sirius and Peter soon followed with Sirius smirking nastily back over his shoulder...

Remus and Severus breathed sighs of relief before they headed in earning a worried glance from Professor Slughorn as they passed.

The rest of the day passed uncomfortably but quickly and they were just too glad when they finally collapsed into bed that evening.

"This week is going by so quickly" Severus yawned. "I guess it's a good thing though what with everything that's happened, just puts it behind us, doesn't it?" he smiled gently.

Remus nodded his agreement. "Couldn't agree with you more, Sev" he sighed snuggling in closer.

"I love you, Remus" Severus breathed softly.

"I love you too, Severus" Remus smiled fluttering his eyelashes slightly as his cheeks started glowing.

It didn't take very long for either of them to drift off into a peaceful slumber that night...

The next morning Severus was woken by soft wet kisses being trailed up the side of his neck. He moaned softly and stretched out like a lounging kitten under the impossibly warm and comfortable bed covers before he smiled and turned over to face Remus.

"Good morning" the Werewolf said brightly.

"Morning" Severus yawned a tiny bit. "Mm happy Valentines day" he breathed.

"Happy Valentines day indeed" Remus' eyes were sparkling a he released Severus and rolled over pulling something out of the bedside table top drawer and handed it over.

"Oh Remus you didn't need to get me anything..."

"But I wanted to" Remus smiled simply.

Severus sighed, glanced to Remus with a smile and pulled something out from down the side of the bed handing it over in a long thin box. Remus eyed it curiously.

"Thank you" he breathed. "Open yours first" he smiled clapping to Severus' gift as they both sat up to see their things better.

Severus just chuckled, lifted the lid off of the pink heart covered box and took out a little Valentines day card with two kissing kittens on the front. "Aww" he smiled as he opened it up.

_Dear my lovely Severus;_

_I love you more than words can describe and I want to be with you until the end of time. _

_I hope you have an amazing first Valentines day with me and I hope we have many more to come. _

_All my love, Remus xx_

"That's so sweet" Severus flushed a little.

"Look at the present" Remus said eagerly as Severus placed the cute card on his bedside table.

Severus leaned over and pecked him on the cheek before he turned his attention on the box, he pulled out the layer of pink tissue paper and his smile turned into a beautiful grin. "This is so cute, Remus" he breathed lifting a fluffy white teddy bear out with a heart for a nose and a heart on its chest with the initials RL 4 SS embroidered in white on the red heart.

"Look at the foot" Remus said nodding down to it.

Severus moved the bear over and read: _I'll love you forever no matter what happens..._

"Aww Remus this is so sweet" Severus breathed pulling the boy in for a sweet kiss as he shoved the wrappings off of the bed. "Thank you, now open yours" he breathed nodding to the parcel in Remus' hands.

Remus tore open the card of the two mice having a romantic dinner feeding one another from their plates and smiled as he opened it to read:

_Dear my beautiful Remus;_

_I can't wait to spend this first Valentines with you and I know we'll have plenty more to come. _

_I love you with all of my heart, my body and my soul. _

_Have an amazing day. _

_Love, Severus xx_

"Aww, Sev" he breathed lifting the lid off of the present and gasped. Inside was a silver heart-shaped locket.

"Don't open that locket until I tell you to, okay?" Severus said quickly.

Remus paused a moment but smiled and nodded. "Now I'm curious as to why"

"You'll see one day" Severus flashed a wink. "But you have to promise me you won't even peek in there..."

"I promise" Remus smiled kissing his boyfriend on the lips before he hung the locket around his neck gazing at it lovingly.

"We should probably get up so we aren't late..." Severus said checking the time quickly on his pocket watch with a sigh.

"True" said Remus almost sadly. "Ah well, we always have tonight to have plenty of fun" he grinned.

"We do indeed" Severus breathed warmly.

They got up, dressed and headed down to breakfast with the other boys whom seemed to be very surprised to see them down here today.

"Well I'm surprised you two aren't upstairs getting it on" Mulciber said as they all dropped down at the table and began picking at something to eat.

Both boys blushed madly.

"We have to go to lessons today..." Remus said quietly.

Regulus quirked and eyebrow and laughed. "I never realised that was the deciding factor in fucking or not"

"To fuck, or not to fuck" Severus chuckled. "Stop talking about this or I'm gonna end up all red and blotchy and that's something none of you want to see" he said swaying his fork around at the other's.

"I do" Remus grinned eagerly. "Especially when it spreads all over your chest..."

Severus was blushing like mad whilst the other's laughed playfully about this.

By the time they finished eating they headed off to lessons quite happily.

By lunch time they were feeling quite excited, someone had put some decorations about the castle and even though Peeves was making it his job to try and move or spoil them or create his own form of 'decorations' (involving pink slime on random passers-by) everybody was in good spirits about the dance tonight.

Wherever they went boys were shyly asking girls out, girls were giggling and fluttering their eyelashes seemingly having made themselves up a little to try and get a boyfriend today.

Remus and Severus on the other hand were as lucky as ever to be with one another and on repeated occasions they had seen Sirius being asked to the dance by a girl, whether he accepted any of them or not neither of the boys were too sure.

"I know he likes me but I'm not interested in him and I'd never leave you" Remus said quietly as they were at the dinner table.

"I despise Black and everything but I feel a little bit sorry for him seeing as he does like you and he can't have you..." Severus said slowly. "It would kill me if I felt that way"

"Yeah but you have no idea what he's like to anyone he dates, he thinks he likes them when in reality he just tries to have sex with them and they run screaming, I don't know if he's ever had sex or not though but he does have a bit of a forceful grabbing problem about him..." Remus went on.

"I can imagine" Severus said wrinkling his nose with disgust.

After dinner people were retreating to their dormitories early to prepare for the dance. Severus and Remus hopped in the bath together whilst the others were off getting ready.

Once they were washed and out, Severus went back in the bathroom as Remus took the dormitory to get changed and ready in.

He sighed pulling a pair of his dress robes from his trunk, he cast a spell to make them nice and flat and neat again before he sighed. They weren't bad but they weren't exactly amazing either, he sighed and reached into his drawer nervously, he wasn't sure if anything would happen tonight or not but he was going to risk it and wear his frilly pink boxers anyway. He slipped them on and gazed at himself in the mirror. Blondes looked good in pink. He smiled to himself and pulled on some socks and his dress robes then shoes before he started running a comb through his hair as he dried it and left it hanging long and straight around his pretty face.

He sighed and waited and when Severus came out of the bathroom in his slightly tatty but very cute black and green dress robes (Remus' were black and Gryffindor red) his jaw nearly hit the floor.

"You look amazing" Remus breathed as Severus blushed a little and came strolling over to wrap his arms around the boy's neck.

"And you look more than amazing" Severus smiled leaning back a little to take in his boyfriend's appearance. "You look so cute"

Remus flushed a little himself and chuckled almost nervously. "You nearly ready then?"

Severus nodded as he went to pull on his shoes.

Remus disappeared into the bathroom and came out only a couple of minutes later smiling to Severus. "Shall we leave?" he asked watching the Slytherin straighten himself up and smile.

"Yes" Severus breathed.

Remus chuckled and held out his hand, Severus rested his own in it gently and they left the dormitory together. As they passed into the common room there were a few couples twittering together excitedly and hurrying off, the girls in their lovely long gowns and the boys all smart in their dress robes.

Remus and Severus gazed to one another and sighed happily when they walked through the cool dungeon corridor they could also hear the music from the great hall thumping away. By the time they reached the entrance hall there were people in all directions greeting one another and chatting, girls and boys clinging hold of each other's arms as they swept into the great hall to join the dancing and fun.

The two boys grinned even when people glanced at them as they passed, Severus could have sworn he heard a couple of them say 'aww'. They made their way into the great hall, Professor McGonagall was standing by the door.

"Good evening boys, have yourselves a Butter beer why don't you?" she said picking up two cups and handing them over.

"Thank you" Remus smiled.

"Have a nice evening" she called as the two of them passed into the room past her and Slughorn whom were acting as door managers.

The great hall's tables had been moved aside to make plenty of space for a dance floor, up the left and right hand corners by the door were small tables and chairs, two seating none the less draped in white sheets and bows almost like a wedding. The enchanted sky above was a haze of beautiful midnight blue, twinkling stars and a pale pink glow in places making it look utterly magical as little pieces of glittery confetti drifted down. Pink streamers shot through the air and the lights were soft and beautifully pink, red hearts were strewn everywhere.

"This is incredibly girly" Severus chuckled as they stood hand in hand sipping at their drinks.

"It's nice though" Remus smiled gently.

They finished drinking and tossed their cups away and Severus really took the chance to survey the scene.

There were a few couples dancing in time to the music, most people however were standing together or in little same sex huddles, the boys seemed very nervous about asking the girls to dance so they stood together scraping their shoes along the floor and muttering to one another with their hands in their pockets.

"You want to have a dance?" Remus offered casually.

Severus hesitated a moment before he nodded and followed Remus onto a darker corner of the dance floor where they'd have at least a small amount of privacy.

As they danced Severus could feel people staring and laughing, he almost didn't care but it was hard not to when so many people were glancing to them.

Half an hour later and they collapsed into chairs panting for breath sucking down their second round of drinks.

"You're wearing your locket I see" Severus nodded down at Remus' chest where the locket was proudly displayed.

Remus grinned excitedly. "So are you" he breathed.

"Mm this one is about love, that one holds a secret" Severus winked playfully.

"Ohh stop making me so curious" Remus pouted cutely.

"Come here and kiss me then" Severus grinned.

Remus downed the rest of his drink and did not need to be told twice, in a flash he was on Severus' lap, his arms around the boy's neck and his tongue down his throat.

"Well at least they're having a good time" Regulus commented over the thumping music.

"Yeah, I think maybe Severus will get lucky tonight, don't you?" Evan chuckled back.

"Most probably" Regulus grinned back. "Remus doesn't look like he can control himself for much longer the way he's sitting on his lap"

Evan laughed loudly. "Who do you think will bottom?"

"Remus, you?" Regulus asked looking up into Evan's face.

"I kinda think Severus might" Evan said slowly.

"We'll just have to wait and see then" Regulus said quietly biting his bottom lip.

"We shall" Evan breathed gazing down into Regulus' face with a smile. They stayed that way for a little while before Evan said "You wanna dance?"

"Sure" Regulus shrugged a little and followed him onto the dance floor.

Severus moaned softly into Remus' mouth as their tongues moved together in a battle for dominance of his mouth, his hands slipped around to rest on Remus' bottom as they continued to kiss.

Several minutes passed and they finally came up for air. The music was changing to a much slower rhythm.

"Would you like to slow dance with me?" Remus panted slightly gazing into Severus' eyes.

"I'd love to" the boy said back.

They got up and Severus took Remus' hand allowing himself to be swept onto the dance floor, many couples were nervous and didn't move at first even when they watched Remus and Severus move to the centre. Severus and Remus clasped hands and draped their arms around each other as they swayed gently to the romantic music gazing deeply into each other's eyes.

"I love you so much, Severus" Remus whispered as other couples slowly began to join them on the dance floor.

"I love you too, Remus, forever" Severus said back as his boyfriend leaned in to gently brush their lips together.

They continued to sway gently, Remus draping his arms around Severus' shoulders and Severus' around Remus' waist in return.

"Severus..."

"Remus..."

A light blush scattered sweetly across Remus' pretty face, his blue eyes were sparkling brightly with love in the dance floor lighting. Slowly he leaned in and brushed their lips together for a second time. "I'm ready" he whispered right before he did it a third.

Severus froze for a second, Remus was a ready... he knew what that meant. "So am I..." he breathed back.

Remus nuzzled Severus face gently.

"So..." Severus said slowly moistening his swollen pink lips with his tongue. "Do you want to... go back to the dormitory and... you know..."

"Make love" Remus swallowed quietly.

"Yes" Severus breathed closing his eyes in a long slow blink.

Remus nodded slowly with a smile. "Yes, I do" he breathed.

Their faces spread into enormous grins before Severus leaned in and kissed Remus one last time before they turned and left the great hall their arms around one another. They moved so lightly it was as though they were floating on a high, they kissed one another every so often as they slinked off through the doors, they knew people were staring and they knew people were suspecting them. Severus caught a glimpse of Sirius' eyes burning on them as they passed but he didn't give a crap right now.

Time elapsed and before they knew it they were back in the dormitory in a warm fuzzy haze, they spelled hands clean and slowly began to strip one another as they kissed which grew more passionate by the second.

When Severus was down to his black boxers he pushed Remus' trousers down, the boy stepped out of them and he moaned softly at the sight of Remus' rather fancy underwear, his erection already straining through the fabric.

Severus moaned again as he pressed his lips to the pulse point of Remus' neck his fingers running across his pale, sensitive chest. He smiled feeling the boy convulse under his touch.

Slowly Severus tilted his face up kissing Remus tenderly on the lips as the boy guided them backwards onto the soft bed, the curtains fell draping shut around them giving them the ultimate privacy. They fell back onto the ultra-soft bedding, Severus on top of Remus as their lips continued to connect, the kissed growing more heated by the second. When they drew apart for air they were gazing into one another's eyes.

Their eyes locked as Severus trailed kisses down the front of Remus' body, his tongue teasing at every little line and curve, dipping into his belly button before they reached the hem line of his underwear.

"Mm I really like these, you look so sexy" Severus whispered nipping at the frilly fabric.

Remus sank his teeth into his bottom lip. "I'm glad" he whispered spreading his legs as Severus slowly pulled them down far enough for Remus to carelessly and very elegantly kick them off. The Werewolf threw his head back and gasped feeling Severus' warm tongue teasing around the little slit of his member lapping up the tiny amounts of clear fluid as it leaked from him.

Within seconds, Severus had Remus moaning and writhing on the bed begging desperately for more. "Severus... please Sev..." he panted clutching at the bed sheets.

Severus allowed Remus' cock to slip from his mouth with a soft pop as he gazed lustily up into Remus' beautiful sapphire eyes.

"Please..." Remus breathed.

The look in those eyes was all Severus needed and he quickly reached onto the bedside table pulling open the drawer and lifting out a bottle of new lubricant. He swallowed as he sat up a little to prop Remus' legs up, kiss him softly on the lips and with shaking, nervous fingers he opened it squeezing a fair amount into the palm of his hand before replacing the cap and tossing it back in the drawer.

Remus watched intently his heart beating quickly, this was their first time after all, as the boy trailed two fingers through it, he knew what being fingered felt like and he really enjoyed it so he was sure he would enjoy having something much bigger up there. Remus moaned softly feeling those fingers swirling around his tiny little entrance adding a teasing amount of pressure to it. Remus was relaxing quickly as Severus continued to play with him then slowly, the middle finger slipped inside and he gasped. It didn't hurt it felt quite good though.

"Is that okay for you?" Severus whispered leaning over Remus to kiss him on the lips.

"Yes" the boy breathed. "More"

Severus pushed his fingers until it was all the way inside pausing for a moment to allow Remus to get used to it before he slowly began slipping it back and forth inside that impossibly tight hole. Severus wondered for a moment if he would actually be able to fit in there.

Remus moaned loudly as a second finger soon joined the first and once again within seconds he was gasping softly and moaning feeling those fingers sliding around inside of him scissoring him open until the longer one brushed that sensitive little spot and he cried out softly breaking the kiss.

"Are you ready for this, Remus?" Severus whispered still trembling a little bit.

"Yes, are you?"

"Definitely" Severus smiled gently brushing their lips together one last time before he sat back.

Remus watched him coating his erection with the rest of the lubricant before he shifted back over the top of him and lay himself down comfortably. Remus' breath caught in his throat as he in took sharply feeling Severus' thick member pressing against his virgin entrance. "I love you so much, Severus"

"I love you too, Remus" Severus smiled gently. This all felt so perfect, so real, so impossible yet so utterly amazing, just being so intimate with Remus was perfection. "Tell me if you want me to stop or anything, okay?"

Remus nodded quickly and moaned feeling Severus adding a little prodding pressure to his anus with his cock. "Please... make love to me..." he breathed pulling Severus down for another kiss.

And with that, Severus pushed inside feeling Remus tense up and gasp softly sucking a small amount of air from his lungs as just the head went inside of him. The intense waves of pleasure that washed over Severus were enough to make him gasp himself, Remus was incredibly tight.

Remus had never felt anything so intense, around the outside of his bottom was burning, it hurt a bit, not unbearable but it was certainly much more than intensity around there than he was used to with tongue and fingers. He opened his clenched eyes slowly and gazed up into the face of an angel.

Severus was stunningly beautiful, his rosy swollen lips parted, a tiny furrow to his eyebrows with pleasure, his swirling dark eyes completely clouded and misty with arousal and those perfect white cheeks flushed. Remus moaned sinking his teeth into his abused bottom lip his desire was overcoming his discomfort and he wiggled his hips a little asking for more.

Slowly Severus eased more of himself in, Remus looked absolutely perfect, he was all rosy and flushed with excitement, the expressions on his face washing with love each time Severus pushed slightly farther in. Severus stopped when he reached the halfway point panting slightly himself and gazing down into Remus' lovely face allowing him to get used to the further intrusion.

"Gods you feel big" Remus whispered allowing himself to relax around Severus' aching cock.

"You're a little bigger than I am" Severus whispered with a tender smile. "You feel amazing, you're so tight" he panted a little, he wasn't sure how long the sex would last with it being their first time but he knew that once he started to move he wouldn't be able to stop.

Remus moaned softly as Severus leaned down for a supple little kiss. "More" he whispered. "Thrust"

And so Severus did, and it was the most amazing physical sensation he had ever felt.

Severus cried out partly with surprise when he first gave a small thrust, the tingling sensations turned into shockwaves as he thrust slowly setting a nice rhythm into Remus' tiny virgin rose.

Remus moaned the sensations were still burning a little but not so much, his desire was overpowering as was his arousal, he moaned louder as Severus began to thrust a little harder into his body. "More" he panted desperately.

Severus moaned very loudly still trembling although no longer with nerves, he was sure he was bringing Remus pleasure, he knew the boy so well he could just sense it, Remus was enjoying this. With another thrust and Severus was three quarters of the way inside, Remus gasped loudly and arched his back off of the bed clutching at Severus' sides. "More" he whimpered again.

Severus thrust roughly into Remus just once and he was buried balls deep inside of him his hips slapping against Remus' arse as he reached the limit.

Remus cried out loudly gripping at Severus much tighter as the boy brushed roughly against his sweet spot. "Oh fuck, Severus just do me" he moaned desperately.

Severus didn't hesitate as Remus lifted his legs up off of the bed bending his knees to give the boy full access to his depths. The Slytherin moaned as he began to thrust more vigorously into his beautiful lover's eager little hole.

Remus was moaning, gasping, whimpering and crying out every time Severus thrust in, his hips angled accidentally to brush against his prostate each time bringing him intensive waves of pleasure, he was still burning but he didn't care, he loved Severus and the love in those black eyes was more than enough to spur him on.

"Remus... I'm close..." Severus panted hungrily thrusting harder and faster his hips hitting the curve of Remus' arse each time he buried himself balls deep inside the boy.

"INSIDE" Remus gasped feeling his sweet spot being pounded into repeatedly. "Cum inside me" he whimpered.

And with that Severus quickened his pace one final time pounding into his boyfriend, it didn't take more than a few seconds for that pressure to build rapidly and burst as Severus came with a scream of-

"REMUS!" as he buried himself balls deep inside the boy shooting what felt like a hot fountain of cum into the boy's bottom.

Remus arched off of the bed as he became filled to the brim to the point it was trickling out of him before Severus had even finished reaching his orgasm. He came with a desperate shriek of "SEVERUS" as he exploded violently between them.

The waves of their orgasms crashed over them repeatedly and seemed to last forever until finally Severus slumped down on top of Remus panting for breath.

Remus closed his eyes allowing his boyfriend to collapse on top of him still inside him although nowhere near as prominently now as he was going soft quite quickly having just lost his virginity.

It took several minutes before Severus leaned up slowly gazing into Remus' beautiful, relaxed and very flushed face, he was blushing madly. "That was so amazing, Remus..." he breathed gazing at the boy he loved in pure wonder.

"I know" Remus smiled warmly brushing some of the stray hairs from Severus' face.

"I am so sleepy now" the Slytherin chuckled lightly.

Remus laughed a little. "So am I" he yawned. "Wow, I don't feel real!"

"Sex is bloody awesome" Severus grinned.

"Mm I can agree with that" Remus said brushing their lips together softly. He winced feeling Severus withdraw his softening member and didn't hesitate to roll onto his tummy. "Your cum is leaking down my thighs" he said gazing at Severus through half lidded eyes.

Severus' sleepy eyes gave a twinkle as he gently parted the boys cheeks and moaned softly. "Now that is hot"

"Am I bleeding?"

"Nope"

"Good" Remus breathed as Severus flopped down beside him, spelled his hands clean of the slippery, sweaty lube and pulled the covers up over them both.

"I love you more than anything, Remus" Severus smiled gently.

"I love you too..." Remus whispered pulling Severus in for a kiss.

That night they were asleep within seconds dreaming peacefully after such an amazing evening, they had finally given themselves entirely to one another mind, body and soul. Not even Sirius' dangerously lingering threat could spoil their evening tonight...

….

Meanwhile down in the entrance hall...

"Come on there's one down here" Evan grinned dragging Regulus into the entrance hall and into a little covered private alcove.

Regulus laughed and as soon as they were through he threw himself at Evan the two boys pressing back into the wall their lips crushing together passionately...

...


End file.
